《The End of Disappointment》Death Wish
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Ryu rolled the black pill in his too clean hand. Swallow it, and it’d all be over. Swallow it, and Ender would die. Swallow it, and he could finally rest. He shook his head. No. That was a weak way out. He could be a better man. Bonny had shown him that. Bonny… He couldn’t leave her alone, either. The pill disappeared back into his storage ring.
He pulled something else from his storage. The note. It told him of the Count’s misdeeds, and though it wasn’t a direct command, it was a death warrant all the same. He sighed. There was no signature. The plain handwriting was unremarkable. It was untraceable. He’d sat up for weeks watching to see who left the notes. He’d tried to find out if the paper was distinct or if the ink was special. Nothing. Somebody was making him play executioner, and he had little idea who.
He crumbled the note, his knuckles turning white. He wasn’t done for the night. Not even close. The crimson moon hung above, and Ryu’s blood pounded in his temples.
He monitored the beginning of Bug territory with a calm expression. The Sixth Ring- as far as they could tell- was one giant city. A large river bisected the city, and various bridges connected the sprawling districts. On one side was the Human Federation. On the other was the Bugs. Both sides were guarded, but of course, raid teams of both sides had found various ways around these checkpoints. Ryu even knew a few of them. Tonight, however, he wasn’t interested in any of them.
“Halt! Sir, the Aureate Districts are south. This is the end of human territory,” a guard said kindly. His bearded face peeked out at Ryu from beneath his helm, and his colleagues watched from a well-maintained guardpost next to the bridge.
“I know,” Ryu said calmly. His hood was pulled up over his face, and his mask covered the parts of his face that came into the light.
“Do you have a deathwish, then?”
“Something like that.” Ryu sighed. He had a lot more than that.
The guard cleared his throat. “I’ll have to get the sergeant to look at your papers then, sir.”
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“No need,” Ryu said, and with a thought, he summoned a screen to appear above his head.
Name
Rank
Points
Ender
100, 515
-2,000,115
The guard stumbled away. “M-my apologies, sir,” he said.
Ryu grunted and walked past the man. No doubt, one faction or the other would dispatch a squad to apprehend him before long. He didn’t plan to be here when they did, though. He’d had enough of killing his own for the night. Ender laughed madly in his mind. Ryu stepped onto the bridge.
All hell broke loose as dozens of Skills and Evolved abilities raced towards him through the air. For a time, he had been without equal. Those days were gone. Between the new efforts in the Sixth and the introduction of the Bugs, competition for the top was… highly contested. And that was without the old monsters of the various factions coming into play. For amateurs like these, however, he was more than enough.
He weaved through the onslaught in a cloud of inky smoke. The first soul was a man this time, a bureaucrat of the Third Republic who had a penchant for the cruel. He ducked under a stone spike. The second was a Bug, its memories incomprehensible to his mind. His body slid underneath a spray of venom. He had twenty-five left. Twenty five seconds. Twenty-five lives. Disgust shamed him even further, and Ender seized the control Ryu gave up. He leapt into the air, landing amongst the Bug guards like a wolf in a henhouse. How could he both love and hate one thing so much?
---
His shaking hand could barely fit the key in the door. He tried once. Then twice. He bit his lip, cursing himself for his weakness. On the third, it slid into place. He unlocked it with a sigh.
“Bonny, I’m home,” he called, slipping a tiny Qi crystal into the lantern on the wall. Strange. Bonny always liked to have the lights on.
He moved through the house, sadness welling up in his stomach. The living room was empty. As was the kitchen. As was every room in the house. He stumbled into their shared room, overturning the furniture. Her clothes were gone. Everything was gone. She was gone. A slip of paper caught his eye. A note. He snatched it up, unfolding it in a hurry.
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Dear Ryu, it started. I love you. I love you so much. But I can’t watch you do this to yourself. It’s too painful for you, and it’s definitely too painful for me. Maybe one day we can try again. Maybe one day the stars will align for us, or both of us will have made changes for this to work. That’s my hope at least.
Still, I have to go. Please don’t look for me. I don’t need you to be a dashing hero or some perfect man. I just needed you to be devoted to me. To us. I’ve seen people struggle with so many things. Drugs, drinking, lying. Everything. But I’ve never seen a man who struggles so much-
“... with peace,” Ryu finished softly. He crumpled the letter in his fist.
Love, it had to be said, was easily taken for granted. It was easy to come home and ignore the worried looks. Ignore the frowns. Ignore how far away she sat. What wasn’t easy to ignore was the personal hell he’d found himself in. And who knew more of hell than a devil?
Ender laughed in Ryu’s mind.
He put the note in his storage ring. A part of him screamed to ignore it, to go find her. The rest of him knew better, however. If Bonny didn’t want to be found, she wouldn’t be. More importantly, begging would not show he cared. No amount of words would make up for the time he’d wasted. Instead, he laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling in silence.
A knock broke him from his sleep. Hope flared in his chest. Bonny? He rushed to the door, throwing it open, and… it was a letter. His heart twisted with the familiarity. Whatever hope he’d felt was turned to ash. Another name. Another criminal. Another murder.
“Want me to be your damn puppet, huh? Come see me yourself, or I’m done,” he shouted into the cobbled street. He had no doubt the messenger would hear him. Without waiting for a response he knew wouldn’t come, he slammed the door shut. They’d already driven Bonny away. No. He’d driven Bonny away by following their commands. No longer.
A thought nagged at him. It was too soon to be a name, wasn’t it? The letters typically came every few weeks. Margrave had died hours ago. Neither was it Bonny. The woman would’ve just barged in.
Ryu opened the door with a sigh. For the third time that night, he read a letter.
I have some information about your “employer” you might find interesting. I trust you’ll be able to find me.
Sincerely,
Lucius
Ryu reread the letter to make sure fatigue hadn’t distorted his vision. Of the names he’d received, he had always hoped to see Lucius’s. Despite his hopes, however, it was strange to see the name written out. It almost seemed to mock him from the page. Find me. Oh, Ryu had long hoped to do just that. The memories from the dungeon demanded it. The nights without sleep demanded it. All that suffering… for nothing. Yes, Ryu would find Lucius. Ender smiled in his mind. And he would kill him.
A storm was building in him, one that he was not unaware of. He knew he was angry. He knew this was what Ender wanted. He also didn’t care. Miseries, it seemed, never knew when to leave a man alone.
---
“Where?” Ryu demanded.
“Just a moment, sir,” the balding man said, wiping sweat from his forehead. “The Skill takes a moment to pinpoint a location.”
Ryu sighed, leaning back in the blocky chair to stare at the plain white ceiling. The anger had cooled, leaving behind an altogether harsher thing. As for who it was aimed at… Well, he didn’t quite know. At the moment, it seemed to be the man in front of him.
“Yes… He is in the Enchanters’ District. In the, uh, guild’s compound, actually,” the dowser said, looking up from the map and stones on his desk. The man glanced at the door to the small office nervously. Ryu didn’t need an invitation.
Out into the bustling lobby of the information brokers’ office, he rolled his shoulders.
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