《Kano's Necromantic Comedy》Ruin - Chapter 5

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In the end, the Red Company let Kano walk away with her prize as their leader had promised. Remembering the dumbfounded looks of the soldiers as she walked out brought a smile to her face. It had been a good day. Leaving the Red Company’s stronghold, Kano experimented with her new pet. To her delight, she found she could make him do anything at all.

Whoever had tampered with his brain had made him incapable of disobeying his master. He’d complained a great deal at first, but there was an easy fix to that—she ordered him not to speak.

Beginning with a battery of minor self-inflicted humiliations to whet her appetite, Kano soon grew bored. Feeling she was ready to take the next step, Kano had him take her to where he’d left Nove. It seemed a fitting place for him to meet his end.

“How did you get her out here, anyway?” Kano asked, imagining trying to haul the massive thing through the streets. When he didn’t reply, she added, “You may speak, but only to answer my questions.”

“Paid some locals to take care of it.”

Feeling a sense of civic pride at the industrious nature of her fellow citizens, Kano decided that this spot was as good as any. They stood amidst a combination of rotting organic matter and heaps of non-degradable rubbish. Some of it looked so ancient that Kano wouldn’t have been surprised if it was from the old world. Not that it mattered; it was all junk.

“Any last words?” Kano asked sweetly.

“So that’s it, then? You’re finally going to kill me?” He sounded relieved.

Kano laughed. “Oh no, I never said that. You’re just not going to be able to speak after I’m done with you. Though I will allow you to scream. How does that sound?”

“I could have killed you, you know. I should have killed you. Surely that’s worth something? Kill me if you must, but how is there any justice in torturing me like this?”

Kano’s brow furrowed. What was this idiot talking about? She knew he was dumb, but she didn’t realize he was insane. If anything, she was doing the world a favor by removing him. No wonder his boss had given him up so easily. “You can’t be serious. You stole my bracelet and my clothes. Of course I’m going to torture you.”

“I did not take your clothes!”

“Well, it was still your fault I ended up like that and my clothes got stolen.”

“No, it isn’t. You had already gotten completely off your head before I did anything. I probably saved your life by dropping you off there rather than letting you keep going.”

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Kano rolled her eyes. “Whatever, you still stole my bracelet. That’s reason enough. Now stop talking and throw yourself into that pile. I’m tired of looking at you.”

Unable to resist, Urick immersed himself in the pile of rotting meat she’d pointed out. Judging by the extra eyes, appendages, and lack of anything resembling a ghoul, Kano figured it must be a bunch of failed attempts at growing new body parts. The pile shifted, and Kano wondered if she hadn’t been specific enough in her instructions. But no, Urick was staying still.

Was there already something in there? Maybe it was a new friend for Urick. He was sure to be delighted. Well, whatever it was, Kano was going to find it. She grabbed a large, misshapen slab of flesh. It was heavier than it looked, and she had to strain to turn it over, but she managed to flip it. Underneath was a familiar horned creature.

“Hey,” Nove said through a mouthful of whatever foul thing she’d been feasting on.

Kano considered trying to cover her over again, but that seemed a bit rude. Besides, she needed someone to complain to about the nonsense Urick had been spouting.

“Can you believe it?” she said once she’d recounted his ridiculous excuses.

“Isn’t he right?” Nove replied between mouthfuls.

Kano pulled down hard on her own hair. Had everyone lost their minds? Or had it always been like this? What was happening to the world? “Why did I even bother saving you?”

“Saving me? What are you talking about?”

“Just now! I freed you.”

By the look on her face, Kano could tell she still didn’t understand. “Make yourself useful: Pull that man out. His head is probably in too deep to hear me, and I haven’t finished with him yet.”

Nove obeyed, grabbing one of Urick’s legs and pulling until he was dangling a few feet above the ground. “Who is this guy, anyway?”

Kano narrowed her eyes and clutched her head as she tried to remember. “This thief is part of a cleaning company… or something.”

“What? Cleaning company?”

“Something like that.”

“And you say he robbed you and left you for dead? Do you think he’s the same one who drugged me?”

“Probably? Who cares?”

“Aren’t you curious about why he did that?”

“No. But I am curious as to how you people even function, being as stupid as you are.”

Nove sighed. “Can we at least ask him why?”

There didn’t seem like there was any point, but if it would shut Nove up…

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“Hey, you,” she said, addressing Urick. “What do you know about… whatever she was saying.”

“The boss didn’t tell me anything, but I heard a necromancer wants to take over this area. They hired us to get it ready for them by taking out people like you. We were going to wait longer before making a move, but it seemed like the perfect opportunity to get rid of you.”

Tugging at her eyelids, Kano turned to Nove. “There. Happy? Now can I get on with killing this man? Because there’s a lot to do.”

Nove put the man down and held up one of her meaty paws. “Wait. Shouldn’t we try to find out more about this necromancer?”

Gritting her teeth, Kano resisted the urge to tear her hair out. Why did they have to ask so many damned questions? She was on the verge of tears. “What possible difference could it make?”

“Well, if they took over this place, where would we live? Unless you’re willing to live under the thumb of another necromancer.”

Kano’s face grew deathly serious, and the flickering blue of her force field surrounded her as she advanced on Nove. “Who is living under the thumb of a necromancer? Hm?”

“I-I misspoke,” Nove stammered, retreating before the much smaller girl. “Of course you’ve never lived under anyone’s thumb. I just meant that we wouldn’t have anywhere to live then. They’d ruin this place. You know how necromancers are.”

Switching her field off, Kano scratched her head. She couldn’t quite remember how necromancers were, but she had some idea that they were bad. But more importantly, it occurred to her that if Urick had stolen her bracelet because of what some necromancer said, then they were at fault too. “Very well. We’ll cut down this necromancer and cut out their eyes.” She gave Urick a shove. “Lead the way.”

“But I don’t know where they are. I don’t even know who the boss was working for.”

Kano kicked him in the knee, not hard enough to injure him, but it sent him hopping in pain. “Don’t talk back. Just do it.”

“Wait,” Nove said. “It’s all well and good that you’ve decided to check this out, but we should probably take a little time to prepare first.” She looked Kano over. “Getting you some proper clothes would be a start.”

“Fine.” She was willing to admit what she was wearing wasn’t suited for storming a necromancer’s lair. Bringing Urick with her in case she needed another person to carry things for her, Kano went to the closest shop she could find that sold clothes. Leaving her two helpers outside, she went in. There were a lot of things on display other than clothes, but she ignored those.

Not seeing much that would fit, she opted for a white one-piece suit of synthetic skin. She pulled it over her, leaving her old clothes on the floor. The synthetic skin writhed and flexed like a living thing, contracting until it was tight against her. Figuring that would do, she added a pair of new shoes and a long black coat on top. Without bothering to locate the owner, Kano left the store and met up with Nove and Urick.

“That’s what you’re going to wear?” Nove asked, the bony ridge of her brow rising.

“Yeah. It is.” Kano didn’t much feel like being criticized about her choice of clothing by someone who was naked all the time. This animal thought to offer her opinion? It was more laughable than anything. “Why, you have something to say?”

Nove shook her head.

“Good.”

They were making their way through the cramped, twisted streets of Shorinstown when a woman stepped out ahead of Kano. It was Himin, Shorin’s right-hand woman. She stood with her arms crossed, torso covered by a single silver plate of composite armor.

Gray eyes fixed on Kano, she barred their path. “Shorin’s pretty missed about you making trouble in his town. Again. There was even talk of getting rid of ‘the stupid bitch’ altogether.”

She had only the vaguest recollection of who Shorin was, but hearing that he was angry made some part of her worried. But he wasn’t here right now, and she wasn’t going to let someone talk to her like that. Kano walked up until they were within arm’s reach of each other. “Well, I’m right here. Try me.”

“I, however,” Himin said with a smile, “thought he was being too hasty.”

Kano relaxed. “Then why are you here?”

“You need to leave town. Right now.”

Much as she hated being told what to do, it wasn’t too much of a hassle. It coincided with her own travel plan, after all. “Fine.”

Himin nodded. “Good.” She walked off, turning into a nearby street.

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