Prologue: A Taste of Her

This isn’t happening.

I don’t want to do this.

There is a terrible feeling when you bite into human flesh for the first time. It has this salty taste, like undercooked pork. Disgusting. You imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes. Especially if they are still alive.

I wish it wasn’t her.

You wonder what it is like to be them right now. To be suffering. To know pain. My muscles are not my own. The Gray has me tight. My brain no longer listens to my commands. But it still reports back to me with every sin I commit. Every scream she can’t hold back as the Gray uses my body to hold her down and tear her apart strip by strip.

I am so sorry.

*Crunch*

Disgusting.

Why…why must it be like this?

I don’t want to die.

I try to force myself to end it even though I am not in control. But then there is a voice inside my head. One which sounds an awful lot like me.

Neither do I…

#

The truth is that in this world, power is an illusion. You think you have power over your life. You think going to school and studying hard will make you successful. You think afterwards you will go to work in an office to make lots of money and that will make you happy. You think one day you will have enough and that will let you die. All of this is untrue. The truth is that things happen.

People die.

For most that is the end. For those taken by the virus, it is unfortunately not. That is what makes the virus so scary. It takes away the one thing we all thought we would have.

It takes away death.

Our world was not always like this. Before the pandemic, I was a world class athlete. People thought I had it all. I disagreed, I was never more lonely. Every day at the gym, working the bag, grappling with trainers, teaching myself to master my body. It made me hard, and it made me physically strong. I was born and bred for a war. But it wasn’t the war I wanted to fight.

I couldn’t relate to people. Had so few friends I might as well not have had a phone. It looked like I was winning, but inside, I was slowly dying. I wanted things to change.

Over a black star, I wished for the world to change during the new year.

It was a mistake.

I should have wished for the world to change for the better. Instead…it became like this after New Years Eve, 2021. Now in this world of endless violence, I am truly alone. I tried so hard to save everyone. I thought I had this power. The truth is I can’t save anyone. I can die over and over but one day, just like everyone else, I will die no more. For I will become one with the Gray. And then…perhaps I will no longer be alone.

Maybe I shouldn’t be running from death.

#

“Hey, you alive?”

“Hah!” I surge up from my terrible dreams like I can escape the future they hold for me if I just open my eyes. That’s impossible though. Whatever twisted nightmares await me are unavoidable. That is the only thing I know for sure.

Despite all my power, you cannot escape the inevitable.

Eventually, you…will…break.

My eyelids shoot open like hummingbird wings, fluttering with supersonic speed. Something is staring into my eyes. Wide eyes, pale skin, black hair, I know what this is. A person?

“Oh my god!” The girl in front of me backs away. She’s really cute. Fancy that, there are still cute girls in this world? Now that she’s moved out of the way, I can see three guys and two more girls behind her. This time it’s my turn to widen my eyes. “I didn’t expect you to actually be alive!” Her voice is breathy. Under her long black hair, I can see a juicy pulse jumping in her neck. Don’t think about it, Hei. You’re alive right now. The Gray thinks like that. You’re human. You don’t eat humans.

“…” I don’t say anything, just push my palms against the dusty ground. It’s cold, but then I’m on my feet and I can rise slowly. The other humans stare at me with fear in their eyes. They are afraid because I am not one of them. They should be. If only they knew what I am. What I have done. But no one knows.

Just me.

“It’s okay! We have food! Don’t be scared!” The girl gets off the ground as well. “I’m Yin. We’re trying to get out! You want to come with?” She straightens, offering her hand. There aren’t many people who would trust their hand to a stranger these days. I’m not one of them. The girl named Yin, tightens her face ever so slightly, and her companion’s distrust turns to tension. Despite my wariness, I’m not afraid of them. Nothing can be as bad as bad as that time. I shudder remembering what I did, what I had to do.

If that guy hadn’t stopped me, would I still be out there? Walking endlessly alone? Hunting forever?

“He’s useless. Leave him.” One of the guys, a taller man who looks like a college student shrugs. He comes up behind Yin and tugs on her shoulder. She brushes off his hand, trying to look in my eyes. I turn my head down, staring at the ground. What do you think you’ll find in my eyes?

You can’t see it. Even if I let you look, you wouldn’t see the things I saw. The things I did.

The man smirks, tossing his blonde ponytail sideways. “See, he’s wasted. Probably insane.”

“Maybe…” Yin finally gives up when I refuse to look at her. She stands up and goes back to her friends. They start to walk away, occasionally shooting glances back my way. I watch them go. I’m so lonely. But it’s better this way. I can’t be in a party again. Not after last time. The girl calls out to me one last time. “If you change your mind, we’ll be going North. Just follow the star.”

She points up at the sky, worriedly. Though I look away, I can still see her sadness as her friends pull her along. They don’t look strong. I don’t think any of them are Hunters. All they can do is run and run. But the dead never get tired. And there will always be more.

When I move, my back cracks from sleeping on the hard ground. I’m almost out of supplies. Looking around, I sigh. Wastelands all around. Dry, dirty, cold and barren. How did it all go to hell so fast? I had forgotten what it was like in the beginning.

Why was I sent back here?

Checking my canteen, it sloshes quietly. A little too quietly.

Running low.

I force myself to start walking.

They went this way. I don’t want to run into them again. But I need water.

The sky changes, growing darker. The warm sun is drifting away and cold night draws near. After the world changed, the silver moon grew larger, brighter in the sky. It gives frail humans more-light to see them coming. Now I sleep during the day and awake at night. Just like the dead. In order to beat them, I must think like they do.

Well, I probably shouldn’t act like I wasn’t nocturnal before.

The ruined buildings have crumbled quickly outside the major city zones. Whatever unnatural force has pulled us into this terrible game has changed the rules. The topography of the land, all the maps we had before, the satellites and GPS which could tell you to turn left and walk here, none of them make sense anymore. A few places are still where they used to be, but if you trust anything from before you’ll regret it.

If you kill enough zombies, you’ll get a HUD, a sort of user interface which tells you your level. A map can be unlocked which records all the places you’ve been at level 5. But I am no longer a Hunter. So, I have to rely on memory. If I go the other way, the direction I went in my last life, I think I’ll find Sasha, James, and the others again. That is, if this world is really the same as my previous life.

“Have I really come back to the beginning, just like that? Why did that happen after hitting Lvl. 100?” My words fall on a cold, empty audience. The silent buildings laugh at me, mocking my helplessness. “The System…did it curse me? Was it because I was the first to break the Lvl. 100 limit?”

My heart thumps just thinking about it. I don’t know what caused me to turn into…that…thing. For a brief moment after it happened, it was like I could hear it speaking to me. The Gray was in control, not me. That’s what I’ll call it. I should have a name for evil. Damnit, is it even safe to think about it? What the hell happened?

“Sasha…I’m sorry…I can’t face you.” I turn away from the West. The party was all I knew. We grew up fighting the Calamity together until we earned the title, Five Death Gods. But now that’s not going to happen. My skin isn’t thick enough to pretend I don’t remember her taste. It’s all wrong.

So, so wrong…

I want to…

See her again.

But I can’t face her after…what I did. Even if she doesn’t know, I’ll know. If that Hunter hadn’t come along, would I still be out there, eating…NO

I DON’T WANT TO REMEMBER THIS!

Closing my eyes, I just listen to the Wasteland for a while. If I think too hard, I’ll remember what happened again. And what the Gray said.

It wasn’t real. Don’t think about it. It was just the virus. Not you…Ahhh!

Putting my hands over my ears, I shudder, rocking back and forth on my feet. It’s too soon. Just a few days ago I was hunting zombs with them. I was one of the top Hunters. Now…I’m nobody and I can never party again. If I grew too strong…and I died again, would another Hunter be able to stop me? This is the beginning of the Calamity, right? Everyone’s still figuring out the System. I need to avoid leveling. If that thing gets control of my body it’ll be unstoppable.

“Ahhhh!” Suddenly the scream of a girl crashes through my musing. Instantly, my thoughts go back to the newbies from earlier. It has to be them.

At this point, I doubt anyone has even figured out how to level yet.

I don’t want to get involved. I don’t know them. I can't save everyone. But I start heading in their direction anyways. Breaking into a jog, I follow the path between two rotting houses and come out of the gap to see the undead. Six zombies, a family by the look of it, shamble towards the river. Trapped against the water is the student party from earlier. Yin is shrieking, her long black hair dripping water as the blonde dude waves a tree branch at the undead. “Help! Donovan do something!”

“What the hell do you think I’m doing?” The blonde man takes a step forward and attempts to smash the foremost zombie, a pudgy man, in the head.

*Swish*

The muddy riverbank and a loose rock cause him to slip. He overswings and hits the zombie’s shoulder. His tree branch snaps in half, splinters flying everywhere, as the undead growls in response. The girls hiding behind him lose their nerve and back away into deeper water.

Don’t do that. You can’t fight them effectively like that.

I step out further from the houses. The zombies are focused on the party and have their backs turned to me. Yin sees me and an expression of panic takes over.

“Run away!” She screams. “Leave us or they’ll come after you too!” It’s obvious that she has no idea how to hunt even the most basic undead. Right now, the only zombies around here are probably Fresh Undead. That’s the way the Calamity starts.

Since I am not a hunter anymore, I can’t see their levels, but most non-Hunters can take Fresh Undead on with some planning. In my last life, since I didn’t come this way, did these people die? Despite Yin’s warning, I stay where I am, thinking. Even at Lvl 0, after my last life, I’m not afraid of these things. One of the other girls, a short redhead can’t take it anymore. She turns and wades out into the river.

“Stop!” Another guy calls out. “Crassia don’t!” However, it is too late. The girl’s short legs kick against the current, but it is not long before panic takes over for she has met one of the few things as implacable as the undead.

“Help!” She screams as the river claims her. Swept away by the rushing water, it only takes seconds before her cries are too far to hear. Unfortunately, as I am now, I can’t save her. She can only hope that the gods are kind and do not decide to let her drown. Shaking my head, I see one of the boys from earlier pointing at me. The blonde guy has dropped his broken branch and retreated to the others into waist deep water. Any further and the shorter girls will be washed away.

They’re going to drown.

“Bro! Do something! Save us!” The dark-skinned boy with dreadlocks is desperate. Cold water has no doubt soaked all of his clothes and if it weren’t for that, he would be covered in sweat. “Distract them for us!” He stumbles on something in the river and goes under for a second. When he comes, up, the zombies have entered the water. Their rotting flesh causes a black stain to form in front of them as their essence is away by the current.

Fresh Undead are so weak.

If only they knew the first thing about fighting.

“Shut up, Sean!” Yin yells at her friend, tugging him back with her. She looks at me with sad eyes. “Just go! It’s too late!” The blonde man has his hands out as if to box with the undead. It could work, in theory. If you can avoid the bite of Fresh Undead, they won’t be able to infect you. A few freaks who liked boxing and learned some special skills even leveled bare-handed techniques. This guy, however is not a fighter. He’ll probably be bitten after one or two punches and then he’ll die. Afterwards, he’ll be reanimated as a new Fresh Undead.

“Oi! Don’t you have any shame!” He calls out to me. “We offered you food and you’re just going to watch us die?” I feel nothing at his words. After my last life, I’ve seen too much to care about his taunt. You can't save everyone. Those who have what it takes to live will live. Those who don't...won't.The girl named Yin stares daggers into Donovan’s back.

“Stop dragging him down with us!” She cries out. However, I’ve already taken a step towards the zombies. Reaching into my coat, I take out my butcher’s cleaver. Breathing deep, I remember the feeling of my first blade.

It’s been a long time.

Though I’m far more accustomed to a true sword by now, this will do. The cute girl tries one last time in vain to stop me as she sees me draw my weapon.

“No! Go back!”

“Help dude!” Her friends are not as shy as she is. The light of hope rekindles in their eyes though they do not really believe I can change their fate. I break into a run, scooping up a rock in my fist as I go. As the first zombie enters knee deep water and Donovan engages it in combat, I throw.

*Smack*

My missile catches the back of the Fresh Undead’s head right as the blonde boy’s punch hits its temple. No one can believe it when the fat corpse crumples, coagulated blood spilling into the water. However, the other five zombies are almost at the party. Donovan’s fist is shaking.

He’s not used to punching.

*Splash!*

Fresh Undead are stupid. They struggle to understand who is the greater danger. Strategy is not part of their limited skillset and though I just downed one of them, they only see the people they have been hunting. When my boots enter the water, the slowest one starts to turn towards me.

Too slow!

I draw my butcher’s knife across the back of its neck in a single practiced motion. Its spinal cord is severed and it drops instantly. The soft meat of a Fresh Undead is weaker than a normal human.

*Splash*

Another body hitting the water attracts the attention of the others. One zombie, a thin older man, turns back just in time for me to smash my cleaver into its collarbone. He shrieks as his vocal cords are torn out. Kicking the zombie back to die in the river, I dash to the next one.

This one has actually managed to face me. A woman, her face twisted in undeath reaches for me with black fingernails and scarred wrists. Ducking underneath her cold grasp, I slit her throat. All of these Fresh Undead were created from normal people who are not hunters. They can kill with a single bite. But to someone who has fought a hundred battles, they are nothing.

Four down.

The last two haven’t realized that I am behind them. But the girls have backed up into chest-deep water. Their clothes cling to their bodies as they try to stay upright. Any deeper and they’ll be swept away like their friend was.

“AHHH!” The blonde, Donovan, has been attacked. He grabs the puffy forearms coming towards him, trying to keep the zombie from reaching him. The rotting man surges forwards, knocking Donovan underwater. Splashes echo as the other two boys watch him fall, unsure of how to help.

I’ve gotten close.

*Splash*

My cleaver dispatches the fifth zombie summarily as Yin’s wide eyes watch.

“HELP HIM!” She cries at the drowning boy. I’m annoyed.

These idiots went too deep.

It’s hard to fight in such deep water. I’m not that tall, my arms only reach halfway out of the river. Striding past the other zombies, I approach the frothing melee. I can see Donovan’s face underwater. Air bubbles stream from his ice-cold lips as he tries to keep the zombie from biting him. Their arms tangle and unwind, a bizarre dance between living and dead.

*Splash*

Raising my blade up high, I jump out of the water to get more leverage. Then swing straight down onto the zombie’s neck like I’m chopping vegetables. A black cloud billows and a rotting head falls down as if to kiss Donovan in death. Reaching underwater, I grab the severed skull by the hair on the back of the scalp and throw it aside so the drowning boy doesn’t accidentally shove his hand inside its mouth or something.

“Oh my god he’s not coming up!” The other girl has pink hair with the dye fading. She points at Donovan as if we don’t all know he’s drowning. Now that the zombie has died, the rest of them finally come close. I plunge my arm down into the water, closing my eyes to avoid getting zombie blood inside.

*Muurmph*

Donovan is lifted up by the hair, kicking and spluttering. One of his wild punches catches me in the ribs and I grunt, letting go. He falls back into the river. This time, his friends decide not to be useless and go to help him up. Rubbing my rib, I immediately head back to shore. It’s probably too early for undead to spawn in the river.

Probably.

“You killed all of them.” Yin’s confused voice is a little awestruck, a little scared. If only she knew what I was really capable of. The girl really is beyond cute, beautiful might be a word with that long black hair. After the swim, her wet white t-shirt sticks to her pale skin under the jacket like a makeshift wedding gown. Hugging her hands to hard-to-ignore breasts, she shivers.

“Who…how did you do that?” Her question goes unanswered. Not one to waste time, I drag my feet to shore, swishing my cleaver in the water a few times to get the blood off. Once on the riverbank, I’m a little tired. But something familiar has appeared in the corner of my vision. I know what it is.

“Congratulations, you are now a Hunter!”

Damnit. I’m level one.

#

“Level one?” Yin asks. I didn’t even realize I was thinking out loud until she came up behind me. My clothes are all wet. At Lvl 1, that’s a problem. We need a fire.

“Kill zombies and you’ll get to become a Hunter.” I don’t hide my knowledge. Though it’s probably invaluable right now, in a few days, more and more people are going to discover that life is a game now. “The more you kill, the stronger you get.”

“I…” Yin doesn’t know what to make of my statements. I shrug.

She’ll figure it out it out soon anyway.

“What’s your name? Why did you help us?” She watches as her friends start to take off their wet clothes. One of the girls is hesitant to remove her shirt in front of so many males, even with a bra underneath. The guys see me looking and give me dark looks even though I just saved their lives. Whatever. Not like I care. I turn my gaze downriver.

“Your friend might still be alive.” My voice is neutral. “There’s a chance she drowned. Or got picked up by something once she landed.” Now that the moon has risen, the world is cast in a strange silver glow. After so much time fighting in my other life, it’s hard to remember everything about the world before the Calamity. But I do remember how dark it was at night if you didn’t live in the city. If only I could go back to that darkness. It was creepy, but at least it was safe. Now you can see so much more, but all you’ll find is monsters. This is a world of monsters.

“You’re right.” Yin peers into the dark river. At night, it’s like a sapphire ribbon winding out of the crumbling buildings and into the woods. In those trees, anything could be lurking, and probably is. “We should go look for her!” She wants to go to her friends. However, I grab her wet sleeve.

“Not a good idea.” I say curtly. “You guys are too weak. It’s going to get cold soon, you need to build a fire.” The cute girl stops with a worried expression. She’s loyal. But still a newbie.

“We can’t just leave Crassia…” She murmurs, “Besides, if we started a fire, wouldn’t that just attract more of those things?” Most of the bodies in the river have been carried off by the current. But two of them still linger at the water’s edge, stark reminders of the future awaiting all of us. I shake my head, watching her friends shiver.

“Go inside one of the buildings so nothing sees the light. Also, you guys made too much noise already. If anything was here it would have came earlier. You should never scream unless you’re trying to fight more undead.” I raise my voice so the others can hear. Under the heavy moonlight, I can see them blush. The girl with pink hair catches my eye.

“Do you…do you think you could look for Crassia for us?” She does her best to put on a winning expression. “Please? You’re so strong!” Her compliment sounds good, but it’s just a cover for her own weakness. The males stare at me as if they can’t do the task themselves.

So useless. Even when we were newbies, Sasha and James were never this afraid. I guess that’s the difference between regular people and the strong.

Without answering, I walk away. She becomes afraid as I start to leave. “Wait! Where are you going?”

“You wanted me to find her.” I shrug, gazing up at the gleaming moon. Under tonight’s sky it seems almost covered in blood. My fist goes up as if to hold it in my hand. I can’t believe I’m back here again. At the beginning.

“Rui, stop it!” Yin hushes her friend before calling out to my back, “You don’t have to do this!” However, I am already entering the thicket of trees. Following the river, I’m not sure why I’m bothering to help these people. I’m not a hero anymore. These people are strangers. I don’t have to do this. But some part of me can’t let it go. Even if I do this, it won’t make up for what I did. Nothing can make up for that. As I trudge into the woods, I hear footsteps behind me. “I’m coming with you.”

“…” I keep walking further. The dark shroud of the treetops shuts out the iridescent moonlight and turns the forest into true night. A gentle burble comes from the winding river which twists left and right trying to find its way to the ocean. I’m reminded of people. We’re just like the river. Always following the path of least resistance. The girl behind me however defies the norm. I can hear her teeth chattering as the world grows cold. Now it belongs to the dead, not us.

“Why are you helping us?” She huffs through cold lips. I do not answer. To be honest, I don’t know myself so I can’t say even if I wanted to.

*Crack*

Twigs break underneath her clumsy steps. I shake my head irritably.

Newbie. She’s just a newbie.

As we walk, occasionally glimpses of moonlight break through the dense foliage and illuminate the trail. Though I keep my eyes on the riverbank, looking for footsteps in the mud or any signs of her friend, I see nothing. Something moves in the endless shadows. I pause, raising my nose, trying to smell the familiar stink of undead. There’s something out there. Wait…

“Crassia!” Yin dashes forward before I can warn her. A familiar red head with sopping wet hair emerges from the tangled trees. Dragging her feet over the gnarled roots, she’s covered in mud and pale as a bleached sheet. Crassia walks out of the bushes. The barbed hooks from their grasp leave bloody smears on her white skin. “You’re okay!”

She got out of the river? Without leaving footsteps?

I look back at the shoreline. Indeed, the riverbank is clean and clear despite being extremely muddy. It’s like she just…floated out the river. Instantly, the hairs on the back of my neck stand erect. I know what monster stands before us now, and it’s no human. Running forwards, I yank Yin back by her hair. It’s the only thing I can reach. Her still-wet ponytail is cold in my grasp, but doesn’t break. She stumbles as her head snaps back. Hurt eyes gaze at me in bewildered anger.

“What the hell!” She yelps. However, I have no time for this girl’s useless rage. What lies ahead is far more dangerous.

I thought that only Fresh Undead would spawn in the first few days. But I guess depending on where you started, you might not be so lucky.

The redhead ghosts over the tree branches, leaving no footprints. River-water oozes from her clothes and spills to the ground, but when it lands, it disappears. Crassia opens her mouth, a faint keen coming as she gasps.

“Help-me. I’m-so-cold.” She chokes, spluttering words having a hard time leaving her waterlogged lungs. There’s no smell. Her corpse died in the water only recently and hasn’t begun to rot yet. Yin still tries to break free of my grasp and get herself killed. She pushes against my arms which form a cage around her.

“Oh my god, you’re alive!” Yin cries out, turning back to yell at me, “Let me go! What are you doing?”

I do the opposite of what she asks, tightening my arms around her soft body and holding her back. The girl is cold, freezing, her body unused to the wild at night. Gradually, as Crassia stumbles closer, and her swaying mop of soaked hair drifts back in the wind, Yin stills.

“Crassia? Are you okay?”

“She’s already dead.” I announce grimly. Yin doesn’t believe me. She twists around in my hold, unable to see that her friend is gone. I have my gaze fixed above the enemy’s head. A number floats there, and I curse.

A Drowned Soul. Lvl 5.

If I kill her, I’ll hit Lvl 2 instantly. I can’t keep leveling like this or no one will be able to stop me if I die and the Gray takes over. But we can’t run. Something this strong, it will keep following us until it dies or eats us. The ruckus it makes will attract other things in the woods. I heard noises on the way here. We’re not alone.

“Crassia?” Finally, Yin has realized that I am not holding her back for nothing. “Are you…okay? You’re so pale!” In response to her question, the Drowned Soul that wears her friend’s form as skin laughs. It is a bone-chilling noise, one which contains all the despair of someone who has lost everything. Air, warmth, life, everything was taken from Crassia when the river pulled her under. Now she hungers to regain the impossible by taking it from others. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“So-cold…” Crassia moans again. I back away, dragging Yin with me as the creature takes a shambling step forwards. Her limbs are jerky, the joints locked up by water. It gives her a stuttering stride which makes it look like she’s going to fall at any time. However, her feet do not catch on anything on the ground. I point at the glaring giveaway.

“Don’t you see it? Drowned Souls leave no footprints. Her true self is at the bottom of the river. But this thing in front of you which wears her skin doesn’t know that. It hungers to replace what was lost. It hungers for all that makes you living.” My explanation is dispassionate. I realize I’m talking like I’m explaining this all to a new Hunter. Suddenly, the solution is clear.

“What…what do we do? How can we help her?” Yin shudders. Perhaps she believes my words, perhaps not. She stills in my arms and I stop pulling her back. Instead, I let her go. She turns back to look at me as I reach into my coat and withdraw my cleaver. “What are you doing? Are you going to kill her?!” I shake my head slowly. Turning the blade around, I offer her the handle. There’s only one way to help these newbies.

“I can’t kill her. If you want to live, you’re going to do it.”

#

“What? Me!” Yin stares at my cleaver over her shoulder as the red-haired wraith of her friend creeps closer. Even from this close, it’s hard to tell that Crassia is undead now. The telltale giveaway of her invisible footsteps and drowned appearance are slight enough to be ignored by most. If it wasn’t for the fact that my companion, James, once almost died to a Drowned Soul himself when we first started adventuring, I wouldn’t know this crucial detail. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I told you. She died in that river. What you’re seeing is no longer human. Just a corpse reanimated by the virus. If you kill her, you can become a Hunter, like I was. Like I am.” I correct myself as I remember that I accidentally hit Lvl 1 saving their party. “Either you kill her, or she kills you.” I push the cleaver closer to her hand. When the wooden handle bumps her hand she pushes back abruptly.

“There’s no way…look she’s…she’s fine…” Yin stares at her friend as the shambling Drowned Soul comes into the open. A ray of moonlight illuminates Crassia’s face and reveals the true extent of the damage. Her skin is utterly white, all traces of color lost to the river bottom. Only the mud caking her ragged clothes is dark brown under the moonlight. An expression of intense longing fills her forlorn face. When she opens her mouth to gasp for air, it sounds like she’s speaking from underwater. Yin gasps as she sees what has become of her friend. “N-No! You were fine! How did this happen?”

“I-so-so…cold…can’t…breath.” Crassia hisses, her bloated fingers reaching out as if to grab onto the shore. She plods towards us in a way that’s almost dreamlike. I shake my head, bonking Yin on the back of her head with my cleaver.

“HEY!” She swings around. “What was that for?” Sighing, I just drop the cleaver into her hand, forcing her to hold onto it or risk dropping it. “I told you, I’m not going to-“

“Your choice. In five seconds, she’s going to try to kill you. Either you listen to my instructions and learn how to kill her, or I’m going to leave. Then she’ll kill you and after she’s done with you, she’ll go after the rest of your friends.” My dark words cause Yin’s face to tighten. She glances at me, trying to confirm if I’m serious or not. Something in my face must tell her the truth because her knuckles tighten on the cleaver this time. “You’re running out of time. Decide. Now!”

“You…look…warm…” Crassia fixes her undead gaze at Yin. From this close it’s like being stared at by a deadly predator. Any second, it might attack. That is all she is now. Just one the undead, even if she possesses the same face and voice. Yin needs to realize the truth of this cruel world. Or perish along with her friend. “Can I…touch you…I just want…to be warm…again.”

“Please. I can’t do this. Help me!” Yin’s voice grows panicked as she realizes I really will walk away. She turns rapidly from me back to her friend over and over. I shake my head as Crassia takes one more step.

“Too late. She’s coming.” I whisper, before falling away from her. Yin stares at me with wide eyes. No doubt in the reflection she can see what is coming for her.

“GIVE IT TO ME! YOUR WARMTH!”

Crassia surges forward, her red hair flowing backwards in one smooth motion as the undead virus in her compels her to attack her friend.

Yin stumbles back, holding my cleaver out as if it will ward off evil. Unfortunately, it is not very long, and while I keep it sharp, it’s hardly going to impale a Drowned Soul without any force behind it. The cute girl shrieks, helpless as she realizes her mistake.

“Heeeelp!” She screams. The Drowned Soul’s arms have an unnatural speed to them. Now that she has cast aside her disguise as a person, she is unveiled for what she truly is. Just a predator controlled by the virus. Lunging forwards, she grasps for Yin’s throat, desperate to drain her lifeblood. Yin lands on her butt, and I hear a gasp as the hard ground knocks the wind out of her.

“G-I-V-E M-E!”

Crassia’s short legs are empowered by death. Her bloated fingers reach for Yin’s throat and the beautiful girl desperately rolls sideways to get out of the way. Okay…that was a little impressive. Maybe you do have some promise after all. However, a Lvl 5 Drowned Soul is much faster to recover than the clumsy Fresh Undead. Though Crassia misses, she lands on her hands and knees and is back on her feet in a flash long before Yin can regain her own footing. Staring at the cute girl’s terrified face, I feel a tinge of pity.

I remember my first fight against the undead. My heart pounding in my chest. I had the same weapon.

Looking down, I see Yin has had the sense to keep holding onto my cleaver. Lucky for her, it’s her only chance.

“I can hold it down for you. But only for a second. After that, I will let go and I won’t interfere again.” I step forwards towards the undead. Crassia hisses like a feral cat. Black river-water seeps out along with coagulated blood and bits of her torn lungs as she breathes heavily. I never understood why the undead still do that sometimes. Breath that is. They don’t need to. The Drowned Ghoul turns to me. I ask Yin one last time, “Do you understand?”

“Just…get it away!” Yin tries to get to her feet while holding my cleaver. I snap out a punch at the undead girl’s forehead, careful to avoid striking anywhere near the mouth. The bite of the undead is a death sentence. As a Lvl 5 undead, Crassia senses my punch and immediately lunges towards me. But I expected that. Retracting my punch before it hits, I follow her center of gravity, moving sideways and ducking underneath the Drowned Ghoul. A moment later I’m behind her. My hands come up like steel traps, curling underneath her neck and locking together.

Gotcha

It’s a disgusting feeling, her bloated body is too soft, yet oddly swollen in the wrong places. I can feel cold river water leaking onto my arms, my chest. It’s like clutching a frozen, rotting, fruit. The smell of an undead invades my nostrils as Crassia flails in my grasp trying to turn around and bite me. Her nails scrabble against my coatsleeves, failing to tear the fabric. I steer the undead around, so she faces Yin, who stands there with my cleaver in hand, at a loss for what to do. Yanking up against the undead’s chin, I force Crassia’s snarling mouth up towards the sky, baring her neck. Yin’s eyes widen as she realizes she can finish this.

“You can’t be serious!”

“Last chance.”

#

“You’re going to die then.”

I don’t know why I’m trying so hard to save this stupid girl. Maybe it’s because she reminds me of Sasha. Of how we all were when we first started hunting the dead. That naïve innocence, the thought that maybe our loved ones could still be saved. I thought I had forgotten the feeling. But right now, I’m starting to remember. Maybe it’s just how damp the Drowned Ghoul between my arms is, but my eyes are a little moist. I blink to clear them. My breath grows heavy. Without any stat increases holding a Lvl 5 is taking every bit out of me.

“I’m going to let go now.”

“You…you really would.” Yin walks closer, my cleaver held tightly in front of her. She stares at her friend with horror as I hold the thing back. Eventually, her expression turns to pity. My arms are burning, and finally, I have to let go. So be it.

*Shing*

Yin swings my cleaver. Her blow cuts into Crassia’s throat with a wet thump. But she’s inexperienced and the cleaver is hardly a perfect blade for the job. The shallow cut she inflicts only makes Crassia wail loudly.

“I-hate-you! You-hurt-me! DIE-DIE-DIE!” The Drowned Ghoul rages, her hands scrabbling on my forearms. Instantly, I let go. The zombie falls forward as I unexpectedly kick her in the back of the knee. Then I shove forwards with my own knee, bringing her down with me on top. “HUURRGH!”

“Finish her. Become a Hunter.” I say, keeping my knee in the middle of Crassia’s back so she can’t move. “Humans are weak in the back of the neck. Right here.” I touch the spot with a finger. It squishes inwards disgustingly. Yin looks like she’s going to puke. She leans in, my cleaver held high. The cute girl from before is unrecognizable, mud all over her hands and legs and undisguised fear on her face.

“I thought you weren’t going to help me anymore.” She whispers.

“I won’t kill her. But if you are willing to learn how to survive, I can teach you the basics.” I shrug. “Now kill it, I’m getting tired.”

“She’s a person.” Yin retorts, her face a mask of agony. I just lift my knee slightly. When Crassia is able to get her face out of the mud she immediately begins to howl once more.

“Give-me-your-warmth!” Her rage is enough to make Yin shiver in fear. I push myself off of the Drowned Soul entirely. The zombie begins to rise onto all fours, her hands scrabbling in the dirt. With a tortured grimace, Yin makes her choice. Metal shines in the moonlight. A swish comes. My cleaver swings down on the weakpoint at the back of the neck. This time it connects cleanly. Crassia’s howl is choked off. River water mixes with blood as her body tilts forward. First her head thuds to the ground and then the rest of her follows soon after. Silence is everywhere, broken only by Yin’s sobs.

“I’m so sorry…” She whispers to the corpse. However, in a moment, it is replaced by confusion. “W-What is this? Why can I see this writing in the air? Congratulations on becoming a Hunter? Is this what you meant?” She whirls, her fingers seemingly waving in the air. In time, she will learn to adjust her HUD with her mind. But for now, the most intuitive way is to reach for it with her hands.

“Do you see it now? You’ve just hit Lvl 1.” I look at her, remembering my first time seeing the HUD. She fidgets, her face scrunching up. “The higher your level becomes the stronger you will get. The only way to become safe in this world is to level up.”

“This…this is ridiculous! You can’t seriously expect me to believe that this is all some sort of game?” She whispers, but it doesn’t matter what I say because she has already begun to believe. “If this is real, and I’m not saying it is, how do you level up?”

I point at the dead Drowned Soul at her feet.

“There are two ways to level up. The most common way for most people is to kill zombies, the more you kill, the stronger you get.” My explanation is easy enough to follow. She looks at the dead zombie and then at me.

“What is the second way then?” She asks hesitantly when I don’t continue. Turning my gaze around the thicket, I shrug, pointing at her forehead.

“The second way is to kill other Hunters. For every Hunter you kill, half their accumulated experience will become yours. But I don’t recommend it.” Glancing her over, I smile coldly. “You’re too weak, and since you only gain half of their experience, it’s not worth the risk. Eventually, if you go down that path, the price will be more than you can handle.”

“I see.” Yin shivers, realizing that she’s still holding my cleaver in her hand. “What level are you then?”

“I’m a newbie, like you. Lvl 1.” I take back my cleaver and clean it in the grass. While I wipe away the blood of her friend, she looks grossed out.

“How do you know so much then?” She asks. This time, I don’t respond. When my knife is clean, I stand. Suddenly, the bushes nearby shiver. I knew I heard something else in these woods. Yin startles, despite becoming a Hunter she still thinks like prey and immediately tries to hide behind me. However, when the bushes part, she gives a cry of relief.

“Donovan!” Yin leaves my shadow as the blonde-haired boy comes out of the shadows. He has a wary gaze as he sees my cleaver in hand. From the brush, the rest of Yin’s party appears. The girl with pink hair, Rui, who begged me to save Crassia rushes in and gasps as she sees Crassia’s body. Yin embraces her as the other boys come awkwardly into the clearing. Their clothing is still wet, obviously they did not manage to get a fire going. So, they’re the ones who have been making so much noise.

“We couldn’t let you go alone.” Donovan explains nervously. He’s afraid of me. In his hand is another tree branch, a thicker one this time. “Thank you for…trying. I’m sorry I was rude to you before.” The college aged boy lowers his branch and extends his hand. “What’s your name?” Standing there, I shake his hand, if nothing else, then for Yin’s sake. As she learns more about becoming a Hunter, she’ll need people she can trust to party with. Huh…why do I care so much about this girl? Is it just because she has a pretty face?

“I’m Hei.” I say simply. “Bring me some wood and I’ll make a fire so we can dry off.” The three males go to gather wood while Yin stares at Crassia for the longest time. The pink haired girl comes over to me while we wait.

“Hi, Hei. I’m Rui! It’s nice to meet you!” She says warmly. It’s a stark contrast to how she treated me last time. “You saved our lives. Even if you couldn’t help Crassia, I’m glad we met you!” The girl gets a little too close for my comfort. “How’d you become so strong? Do you want to protect me?”

“…” I shy away uncomfortably as she presses her body uncomfortably close to my elbow. Undeterred, she sidles closer again. Through my wet coat-sleeve, I can feel her cold body pushing against my arm. She intentionally brushes against me and the wet skin feels much like Crassia’s body did, too soft.

Get off of me hoe. I’m not your white knight.

I’m saved when the others return with wood. As I walk away to start the fire, I see a glint of annoyance in Rui’s eyes.

“Here.” I take out a piece of flint and strike it a few times with my cleaver. Sparks fly and catch on some of the tinder the boys have prepared. Bending down, I blow on the embers until they ignite. A roaring fire soon comes, spreading welcome warmth and chasing away the shadows. This deep in the forest, I’m not too worried about anything coming for us because the trees should block the light. “The sun will be coming up soon. I recommend sleeping in the morning while the undead are also asleep. That way, at night, you’ll be awake when they come out.”

“That’s smart.” The darker skinned boy with dreadlocks smiles as he comes by the fire to warm up. “You know so much man. If we were as strong as you are, it’d be so much easier to survive.” To this, I can only sigh. I’m not strong anymore. You guys are just too weak. The fire burns and my clothes begin to dry. At some point, the others move away, clustering together to sleep. I don’t go towards them. Instead, I go and find a slanted tree trunk to put my back against. It’s still nighttime, and though I don’t think there’s any evil nearby, it doesn’t hurt to be careful. To my surprise, Yin walks over after a while. She stands shyly next to me before sitting.

“Do you need something?” I ask. However, she just shakes her head. Together we watch the fire burn down to empty cinders. When the last log crumbles to ash, she suddenly leans against me. Her long black hair tickles my forearm as her body comes to rest against my shoulder. I stiffen, but I sense no malice from her. She’s not trying to use me.

This is someone worth protecting.

“Thank you.” She whispers to me, her head snuggled onto my chest. I hear a sniff and a warm tear lands on my dry shirt. “You came from nowhere. You saved me. I’m just…without you…we all would have…” Sobs break out and I feel her hands searching for mine. Though I know I shouldn’t allow myself to get close to her, I can’t resist. In this world, without Sasha, or James, or the others, I’ve been all alone. I shouldn’t let myself hope, but in this moment, I really want to believe that the world will be a better place. I wrap her up in my arms, and rock her to sleep as the moon begins to set. Without realizing it, once she has begun to snore gently, like a purring cat, I begin to nod off myself.

Yin, your name might mean cold, but right now you’re the only warm thing I have!

#

I’m awoken to voices in the darkness. A twig snaps in the distance. I struggle to get up, but there’s something on me. Yin mumbles in her sleep as I try to get out from under her. Then something smashes into my head.

*Crack*

I’m just a Lvl. 1 Hunter. A rock to the skull is still very much lethal. My world explodes. Yin awakens and shrieks as she sees my blood in the moonlight.

“What are you doing!” She screams as Donovan raises the rock again. The other girl with the pink hair…what was her name again…Rui. She kicks my hand, knocking away the butcher’s knife. The dark-skinned boy and the other one whose name I don’t know, drags Yin off of me. The warmth of her body leaves me and I’m empty.

Cold.

The only heat I can feel comes from my head and the rapidly cooling liquid flowing from my skull. I let my guard down.

Damn.

“He saved us! Why are you…MMMF?!” The dark-skinned boy stuffs a piece of cloth into Yin’s mouth and she can do nothing but stare me with terrified regret in her eyes. Her fingers dig into the dirt as Rui leers down at me.

“Donovan, wait.” She leans down, my butcher’s knife in hand. The pink haired girl crouches by my head, placing my own weapon on my neck. The blade feels ice cold. She grins, a sick, lecherous smile. “I heard you back there. These Hunters, I’ve always wondered how to become strong like them. Like you…”

“Is that so?” I say angrily. However, with the boys stepping on my hands and legs, I can’t move. Red is covering the edges of my vision and my blood pounds painfully, growing worse with every second. My brain is filling with blood. “You’re going to regret this. Just walk away. You still have time.” The little pink haired pixie girl only grins wider. She leans in, her breath sickly sweat over my face. Her hair forms a curtain over me and I feel my own knife pressing deeper into my throat.

“Hahaha, as if I would be that stupid! I know you lied!” Rui laughs as she begins to draw the blade across my jugular. “You told Yin you were a Lvl 1 Hunter. But that’s impossible, you know so much. You must be a higher level, and when I kill you, I’ll take it all!” Over by the side, I can hear the Yin’s panicked struggles, her attempts to shout through her gag. Somehow, she must have gotten it off.

“Please don’t hurt him!” She cries. However, when her pleas don’t change anyone’s mind, she apologizes to me over and over, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know! You have to believe me, I didn’t…!”

*Splurt*

The knife goes across my throat. Searing pain, like a bolt of lightning runs through me, and my body jerks involuntarily. Suddenly I can’t breathe. Choking on my own blood. Rui’s expression is funny, she laughs in ecstasy as she watches me flop around helplessly.

“I’m going to become a Hunter!” She yells victoriously, closing her eyes. My vision turns completely crimson as my blood pressure drops. Everything is heavy, breathing is impossible. There’s so much pressure in my head, this endless ringing fills my ears. My fingers push against the bottoms of the boy’s boots. They escape only to get stomped on. The pain barely registers as I recoil in agony. Yin is sobbing somewhere, but I cannot go to her. I should, but I can’t focus on anything. The red layer over my sight turns to gray and my head goes limp. Everything is gray. All gray. I thought it would be black when I die. Any moment I expect the world to disappear. My breathing stops. The blood leaking from my neck dries. I’m so cold.

Dead.

I can’t move my eyes. They just stare up into the night sky, at the fading stars. I’ve had this feeling once before. Everything’s gone staticky, gray. Like I’m watching the world through an old black and white television set. I’m terrified, so incredibly terrified because I am no longer in control. Through the gray, I can see Rui’s face turn from happiness to confusion.

“I…I should have become a Hunter! There’s no way he was actually Lvl 1!” She yells in anger. I can see her staring down at me, though now she does not treat me like a living thing. Stomping on my face, she turns away to the others. “He was actually telling the truth? Impossible!”

“You dumb whore!” Yin screams in frustration. However, the boys have moved over to her. Rui’s face lights up into a devilish smile as she sees her “friend”.

“Yin dear, you’re a Hunter now. I killed him, but since he was actually only Lvl 1, I gained half a level’s worth of experience. That’s not enough to make me a Hunter.” She steps out of my field of view. “Now if I were to kill another Hunter…that would be enough wouldn’t it?”

“Y-you’re evil! I can’t believe I trusted you!” Yin screams as the boys hold her down. “Donovan? Jumoke? Why are you doing this? Are you really going to listen to this crazy bi-OW!”

I can’t see what they’re doing to her. All I know is that she screams in pain. I can’t move. Everything’s so gray, I’m just lost in this haze. My body is not under my control. I want to move so bad. To help save her, though I know it’s hopeless.

Please…please move!

Suddenly, my body turns its head. My vision tilts, the gray sky spilling over so I can see gray unnatural faces, the boys standing cruelly on Yin’s slender hands, the disgusting pink-haired girl raising my knife over her face. Right now her dyed hair makes her look like a witch. Though I do not will it to happen, my lips curl into a smile.

My hands go onto the ground.

I get to my knees.

Raise my arms forward.

And charge!

“What the hell! You’re supposed to be dead-!” Donovan’s eager face turns into true fear as my cold body lunges towards Rui. I barrel into the girl, my nails gouging into her shoulders. She screams as I tear out chunks of her skin and latch my jaws onto the back of her neck. She shudders in my grasp. The other boys hammer at me, but though I feel the pain, the virus does not care. My teeth crush down harder.

“AHHHHHH! How can you be!” Rui screams and screams. Her cries turn to pleading. “Stop! Stop! Oh my god it hurts! PLEASE DON’T KILL-!” Then she cuts off, and her body dangles limply. When I let go of her savaged neck, she drops to the ground. A cold smile twists my lips apart. The horrible taste of fresh blood is the only warmth in my world.

No no no…this isn’t happening again!

I rush the boy whose name I don’t know. The other boys don’t understand that they need to kill me again or it will be them I turn to next. By the time they understand the evil they have unleashed, it is too late.

Another of their number lies dead.

Yin screams at me, trying to call out my name.

But I am no longer in control.

The air is cold, ever so cold on my dead skin. I stumble, falling into the dark-skinned boy. He gasps and flops about sweetly in my mouth as I tear him apart too. Donovan tries to use the time to run. But the Gray is too fast. It finishes with Jumoke and then my body runs down the blonde boy as well. He tries to throw a rock at me. It smashes my jaw, dislocating it. The pain is so bad, if I was in control I would be puking, rolling on the ground. But the Gray feels nothing, cares for no such thing as pain. It runs him down like an animal. And devours him.

Then all that is left is…

“W-Why. How did it turn into this?” Yin has run over to Rui’s body while I chased down each and every member of her party. The traitors are all dead now. The world is just gray. I am the Gray.

No…I don’t want this. Not her. Not Yin.

I try to say something, anything. Though I cannot move, perhaps some small part of me is still living. I manage to whisper through my broken jaw. A horrible garbled hiss.

“Yiiin…kill me. Dooo it.” I say with the last bit of me left. Shuddering, I try to hold my body still, to give her a chance. She has my cleaver. Must have picked it up while I killed her friends. Even still, she hesitates, and I know that in a moment my body will break free and pounce on her!

“DOOO IT!”

*Puchi*

I hear a sobbing voice as the world tilts.

“I’m so…so sorry!”

Then the gray becomes black and I am gone.