《We Don't Want to be Main Characters!》Chapter 8 - Magical Girls (1)

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“Do you want to become a magical girl?”

A set of beady red eyes stared innocently at the question’s recipient. The creature was built like two marbles resting atop a waft of smoke. White fur flowed seamlessly from tip to tail. A set of golden rings hanging from pink tufts of ear hair were the only inorganic things on its body. The creature’s tail waved playfully. The rhythmic motion was almost hypnotic, as if the being knew it could coax a response through cuteness alone.

The silence that followed was lifted by the quiet droning of cars driving through the suburb. The weekend’s heat wave had already hit, and passersby were scarce. Even if someone had decided to peer over the Noh’s fence, they would likely miss the tiny creature sitting in front of their door. The fox-like being fearlessly cocked its head, indicating that it was ready to hear an answer.

“No.” Kazama replied while slamming the door.

Kazama turned away from the entrance and shuddered. The blue-haired boy was so distracted that he nearly ran into his father, Adam. Although, it might have been the other way around.

“Sorry, Kazama, didn’t see you there.” Adam craned his neck to look at Kazama from behind a pile of books. “Hey, could you take some of these to the basement?”

Kazama looked around their living room. He couldn’t see a single wall without at least one bookshelf beside it. Most of them were full to the brim with manga or light novels.

“I think there’s still some room on the second floor.”

“Not for these books there isn’t.” Adam explained, shoving the stack into Kazama’s hands. “These ones are trash novels. The basement is good enough for them. I’m never going to reread ‘em anyway…”

“Then why not just throw them out?”

“-At least not until I finish rereading all the good novels. Then I’ll come crawling back to these rejects. Unless something new comes out in the meantime.”

“That’s exactly why our basement is overflowing with old books…” Kazama argued with all the enthusiasm of a sloth at a 5K. He knew what Adam would say next.

“My house, my rules.” Adam patted Kazama on the head and left with a smirk.

A dim light flickered on as Kazama navigated the maze of books that littered their basement. With the lack of light and a fresh stack of rejects blocking his view, a crash was inevitable. Countless books tumbled down over Kazama’s head. He shrugged them off, but one fallen book caught his eye.

“This doesn’t look like a light novel.”

In fact, it didn’t look like any book that Kazama knew. The book’s thickness put it on the level of encyclopedias and phonebooks. Thin discolored leather bound the pages. Age had worn down the engraved cover, making it unintelligible. A frail rusted lock kept it bound tightly. Or at least, it had, until Kazama knocked it over.

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The book suddenly burst open and thin slips of paper flew everywhere. At first Kazama assumed they were pages, but on closer inspection they appeared to be cards. The cards dashed around as if they were alive. Walls couldn’t stop them. The glowing paper slips passed through any surface they touched. Kazama didn’t even bother trying to stop them. When the book finally calmed down, every single card had vanished.

“HEY KID!” A high-pitched voice nearly ruptured Kazama’s eardrums.

Kazama whipped around to see a new set of beady eyes staring at him. This time, the creature was floating at head level. Round bear-like ears and a sewn button nose were the only other visible features on its golf ball sized head. It had four legs and a thin, bushy-ended, lion’s tail. Glowing golden wings were affixed to the creature’s back, but they didn’t move as it flew.

It’s just as marketable as the other one. Kazama thought idly.

“YOU!” It wailed. “You released all the cards!”

“If a rusty lock was the only thing holding them back, then I think it was inevitable.”

“Don’t try to twist things around!” The creature crossed its tiny forelegs. “Those cards are dangerous! We need to hunt them down!”

“You can do whatever you want.” Kazama replied while he restacked the fallen books. “I’m going to fix these books and then leave you down here forever.”

“No chance, kid! I need your help to capture those cards! You’re going to become Cardcaptor Kazama!”

Kazama looked up from his books. Very few people had seen Kazama when he was truly angry. Even fewer had seen him wear a genuine expression of disgust. The expression that the creature witnessed was a marriage of the two. Trembling eyebrows at sixty degree angles pointed down to two smoldering eyes. Kazama’s mouth twisted into a tooth-filled sneer that was dripping with contempt.

“Never call me that again.”

“Ok, kid. You got it.” The creature backed away. Its thin brown fur stood on end.

Kazama wordlessly finished his cleaning and then stomped back upstairs. The lion-esque creature dutifully followed, albeit at a much slower pace. Kazama had kicked the unsealed book into a corner before he left and its guardian seemed determined to bring it along. After a grueling journey up the basement stairs, the creature’s tiny eyes opened wide in surprise.

The door had been locked.

“Y-You were joking about leaving me here forever, right?” The creature called out meekly.

Kazama neither heard nor cared about the winged creature. He was busy glaring through the pinhole in his front door. Sitting on his family’s welcome mat without a care in the world was the white-furred creature. It abruptly paused its idling and stared up at the pinhole. Kazama slid the secondary lock into place and swore. Then he turned around and swore again.

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“What the hell were you thinking!?” A familiar high-pitched wail rang through the entryway. “You were just going to leave me there!?”

“How did you get out of the basement?” Kazama grumbled while massaging the bridge of his nose.

“You opened the book, so it’s bound to you.” The creature explained, staring down at its hefty luggage. “And I’m the book’s guardian, so I go where it goes. You can’t lose it and you can’t lose me.”

Kazama’s frown deepened as the creature narrowed its eyes and raised its chin. The smug expression was about as close as the guardian could get to a smirk with its simplistic features.

“We’ll see about that.” Kazama growled.

He opened the door and glared at the fox-like creature loitering on his front porch. The strange being uncurled its tail in acknowledgment.

“Are you ready to become a magical girl?” It asked hopefully.

“What do I get in return?”

“Hey! Hey! Back off pal!” The brown-furred creature flew over to its snowy counterpart. “We already have a thing going.”

“You can make one wish as payment.” The white one replied without missing a beat. “It can be anything.”

Kazama moved a hand to his chin as he considered the offer. “Alright, I wish for this guy’s book to be returned to its original condition…with an extra strong lock.”

“Then the contract is sealed.”

The fox-like creature’s eyes gleamed. With a swish of its bushy white tail, cards began flying into the book from every direction.

“No, wait! I-” The guardian was sucked into the book as well.

A glittering silver lock manifested and then magical tome was sealed for good.

“You know…” The fox-like being suddenly took a more conversational tone. “You could have wished away your…unusual magnetism.”

“But then I would have been stuck with that guy for the rest of my life.” Kazama replied. “Sometimes you need to fight strange with strange.”

“True enough, now about our contr-”

*Slam*

Kazama slammed the door in the creature’s face. It swished its tail angrily as the door’s lock clicked into place.

- - -

Belle woke up with a crick in her neck. She groaned, rolled over, and then grunted in pain as her head hit a hard surface. The pink-haired girl’s eyes shot open. In seconds, she was up with her hands raised defensively. Belle’s gaze darted from one place to the next. There was so much wrong with her current situation that she couldn’t pick a point to focus on.

Her eyes settled on the hot pink dress that had replaced her pajamas. White frills lined every edge, from the open-shouldered top to the short skirt below. The fabric clung tightly to her body, as if it had been made with a disturbingly intimate knowledge of her figure. Black diamond patterned knee socks lead into a pair of ruby red shoes. The shimmering footwear looked like it could take Belle home with a click of her heels. Normally, the introverted girl would cringe at the sight of such a flashy outfit. Realizing that she was wearing it herself made Belle want to puke.

Belle tore her eyes away from the gaudy mess and surveyed the area. If she had to describe the landscape in one word, it would be vague. The dark purple ground she stood on seemed to shift and coil like smoke. Hills and valleys were birthed and unmade as the unstable space constantly redefined itself. If the floor had been melted down and then converted into steam, the sky would be the result. Thunderous purple clouds lumbered above her. Somehow it reminded Belle of the room in her boundary crystal. However, this palace was more…alive.

Belle would have continued to stare at the mesmerizing landscape, but a sleepy groan caused her to refocus. The pink-haired girl noticed that she was not alone. Another girl had been sleeping beside her for who knows how long.

“Ugh, my head…” The new girl groaned as she sat up. “And I think I have a crick in my neck.”

Belle blinked. Then she rubbed her eyes. Then she blinked a couple more times.

The sitting girl stared up at her. “Belle? Where are we? And what’s with that dress?”

Belle brought a hand to her thigh and furtively pinched herself. It hurt.

“…Come on, say something.”

The blue-haired girl cocked her head in an impatient manner. She wore a duplicate of Belle's flashy dress, the only difference was its color. The sky-blue pallet fit perfectly with her unusual hair. The girl herself was a slender beauty. Fair white skin served as a canvas for her cerulean lips and luminous blue eyes. Long shapely legs were crossed and then uncrossed as she waited for an answer. The girl’s hair, the centerpiece of her look, just barely reached her shoulders. She gazed up at Belle’s horrified expression with concern.

“…What?” Kazama asked.

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