“Braino, Scanner-Man, Rasputin and, uh…Charlotte. I’m glad you’ve come.”

Christ, why do psychics have such strange names? Dirk Action, the commander of C.U.N.T wondered.

“You need our help to capture a new psychic.” Rasputin declared.

The man stepped forward slowly to avoid tripping over his long grey beard. He wore sandals and a ragged brown robe. While others might have looked at his disheveled state and sneered, Dirk understood that it was a sign of his power. The clairvoyant could stroll into the world’s most lavish palaces in those same ratty robes. That was how desperate countries were for his advice.

“I predicted such a mission long ago.”

“And what are our odds of success?” Dirk raised an eyebrow.

Rasputin wore a wicked grin as he rubbed his thumb across his middle and index fingers. “I doubt you can afford to ask.”

“We don’t need predictions.” Scanner-Man announced. “They won’t be able to do a thing once I’m in range.”

Dirk’s eyes narrowed as he sized up the confident man. Scanner-Man wore a two-piece brown suit with shoes and a tie to match. He looked like a hotshot lawyer, right down to his sickeningly smug face. However, his ability to disrupt a person’s mind was unrivaled. There were rumors that he could even make his target’s head explode.

“Those aren’t rumors.” Braino muttered, reading the commander’s thoughts. “In fact, he’s about to make my head explode right now.”

“Please, it’s a catchy song~” Scanner-Man chirped. He quietly hummed along to the song stuck in his head.

“FRIDAY HAS NEVER BEEN CATCHY!” Braino shouted.

Dirk winced at the screech of bending steel as Braino raised his arms. Massive metal chunks were torn out of the surrounding walls. Scanner-Man raised his hands in surrender as Braino let them hover over his target. After a few tense seconds, Braino finally put his makeshift weapons aside.

Dirk didn’t let his shoulders fall though, as the dwarf was still glaring up at Scanner-Man. Braino could have easily been mistaken for a child from the neck down. His blue superhero jumpsuit didn’t help either. However, his grizzled features and enormous cranium made it impossible to guess his true age.

“A-Anyways…” Scanner-Man deflected. “I wonder what kind of power this newbie has?”

“Maybe it’s the power to believe in themselves?” Charlotte jumped in. “Or courage! Wait, what about hope!”

“Those aren’t psychic powers.” Scanner-Man chided. “What kind of ability is courage? That’s completely asinine.”

Charlotte’s pink flushed cheeks expanded as she pouted. Her long silver hair extended even further. It spread out and then arched back, like a snake ready to bite. Unlike Braino, who shared her height, Charlotte was an actual child. Her hands dug into her frilly white dress as she glared at Scanner-Man.

“Never mind. Courage is great.” The brown-suited man quickly backpedaled. “Heck, I could even see it being used in a season finale. That’s just how great it is.”

“-We’ve detected two separate psi-signatures.” Dirk cut in. “So, our targets are a pair of psychics. As for the rest, I’ll brief you on the flight over.”

Charlotte saluted, Braino gave a curt nod, Scanner-Man grinned and Rasputin let out a quiet snicker. Dirk sighed, realizing that his cool-guy persona had been completely overshadowed by these freaks.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

~ ~ ~

*Dun *

*Dun dun dun*

*Dun dun dun*

*Dun dun dunnnn*

Adam and Shelly became parents in their early twenties. While they’d always wanted kids, the young pair had their doubts. By settling down early, were they throwing away the best years of their lives? They could have travelled the world, learned new skills or thrown themselves into their careers. Would building a family be anywhere near as exciting?

Adam held his boom box high as it continued to blare Eye of the Tiger at full blast. He tapped to the beat atop a metal train car. Shelly clapped along as Kazama slowly raised his arms. Adam’s ride shivered for a moment, and then the rusty hunk of metal began to fly. Kazama allowed it to rise a few meters before he carefully set it back down.

*It’s the eye of the taigahh*

If they had been anywhere else, that boom box would have already raised some noise complaints. Kazama began to suspect that Adam had an ulterior motive for choosing an abandoned trainyard as his training location.

“You’re doing great, Kazama!” Shelly praised him with a wide smile. “Can I ride next?”

“No, it’s too dangerous.” Kazama replied sternly.

“I’ll just ignore that implication.” Adam called out as he climbed off the car. “And I was right! Your telekinesis has a weight limit. You always use one-hundred percent of your power, which sends light objects skyrocketing. Keep lifting these train cars until you get a sense for controlling your strength. Then we can move on to lighter things.”

Kazama nodded. Then he quickly lifted another car before Shelly could climb onto it.

Adam fished an almond colored crystal out of his pocket. The palm-sized gem had been cut in the shape of a cube. A pulsating white light enveloped Adam’s hand as he squeezed it. In the next instant, Adam vanished from the trainyard. He reappeared in a blank room whose milky brown walls matched the color of the gem.

“Get out.” Belle muttered venomously. “How am I supposed to concentrate with that in here.”

*With the EEeeeeeeyee*

Adam quickly turned off his boom box. “Sorry.”

Belle sat cross-legged on an empty white floor. The cubic room’s walls, floor and ceiling were mirrors of one another. They had the same sterile color, the same unnatural smoothness, and the same number of doors: zero.

“You’re about to switch, right?”

Belle glanced at the flames spewing from her right hand. She had been holding her arm out and releasing fire for just under five minutes. The pyrokinetic curled her hand into a fist and the stream of fire dissipated.

“Yea.” She replied.

“Ok, next you’re going to release ambient heat. Don’t create any fire, just imagine this place getting warmer.”

Belle nodded. She placed her hands on her knees and closed her eyes. Adam felt a bead of sweat trickle down his neck as the temperature began to rise.

Belle’s training was, in essence, the same as Kazama’s. Find a sustainable way to use your power, and then repeat that until it becomes natural. After going over the countless stories he’d consumed, Adam settled on this simple strategy.

“Belle, you aren’t too hot in here?”

“I realized that I can direct heat away from my body. I could stay here all day.”

“That’s great, sweetie.”

Adam wiped a copious amount of sweat from his brow.

“Hey Belle, I’m glad that you had this, uh, pocket dimension thingy…”

“The boundary crystal? Yea, it’s pretty useful.”

There was a barely audible sizzling sound as Adam’s sweat began to pool at his feet.

“It’s a lot easier to hide your power with this…but…there’s a problem…”

“What?”

Adam breathed heavily as he struggled to speak. Steam curled around his heaving body.

“S-Sauna.” Adam’s voice was barely a whisper as he collapsed.

~ ~ ~

Pritchard’s closed for the week to investigate the bomb threat, and the Noh family used that time well. Under Adam’s instruction, Kazama and Belle finally reached a state where they could control their powers. And so, the twins quietly finished another chapter in their lives. For once, it seemed like they’d avoided any unexpected twists.

*Ding-dong*

“Yes?” Adam asked as he opened the front door.

Standing at the threshold was a large man in a black suit. The man pushed his sunglasses up to the edge of his blonde flattop and revealed a paralyzing glare. Adam stiffened as the stranger pushed his way into the house. He swung his meaty head left and right until his eyes settled on a pair sitting in the living room.

“Who-” Kazama started to speak, but then Belle grabbed his shoulder.

Before she could react any further, the man opened his palm to reveal a smoky black crystal. Then he squeezed it. An ebon light filled the room, and suddenly the three members of the Noh family found themselves in an entirely different space.

Dark grey walls surrounded an area roughly the size of a football field. Adam looked around frantically, feeling a disturbing sense of déjà vu. The six surfaces were mirrors of one another. They had the same dusky color, the same unnatural smoothness and the same number of doors: zero.

“Don’t worry about the sudden change in location.” Dirk said, lowering his sunglasses. “It’s just a convenient way to make sure things stay private.”

The Noh family moved closer together as Dirk stepped forward. Three sets of eyes glared at the government agent, but each of them held their tongues. Adam was still dazed by the transfer. Kazama wanted to wait until he had more information. Belle never had anything to say from the start. Instead, she was considering how to pin him down and steal the boundary crystal.

“Now, I know who all of you are, but you don’t know me.” Dirk smirked. “My name is Dirk Action, and I’m-”

“-From a secret government agency that wants to take Kazama and Belle away for research!” Adam cut him off while pointing in a manner that resembled a certain spiky-haired lawyer.

Dirk blinked slowly. After a short second, he recovered his taut grin.

“You’re well informed for a civilian.”

“No he’s not, you idiot.” A nasally voice barked.

The Noh family turned around to see four people standing behind them. The odd gang consisted of a little girl, a slick man in a suit, a spindly bearded monk and a big-headed dwarf in a jumpsuit.

“He just shouted out a wild guess.” Braino, the dwarf, explained. “A guess which you confirmed.”

Dirk scowled but Braino didn’t falter.

“Don’t try to stare down a telepath. It never works.”

“You’re a telepath?” Kazama asked, stepping forward.

“Yes, among other things.” Braino nodded. “Since you already guessed it, I’ll explain this situation…”

“-Actually Braino, I told you to leave the talking to me.” Dirk cut in.

“-Maybe I should do it.” Scanner-Man added hastily. “No offense, boss, but you aren’t the best at talking to civilians.”

“-Wait! I want to talk!” Charlotte raised her hand while jumping up and down.

“After examining all possible outcomes, I believe it would be best to let the girl explain.” Rasputin announced. Then, he muttered to himself. “Or, at least, it will lead to the most interesting result.”

Dirk, Scanner-Man and Braino lowered their heads in deference.

“Yes!” Charlotte pumped her tiny fists.

The young psychic skipped forward and held out one arm. She curled her hand into a fist and then extended her thumb and index finger. Charlotte pointed the gun-shaped gesture at Kazama. Then she lowered her thumb to release the trigger.

A spear of silvery hair shot toward the young telekinetic. In the next instant, Kazama raised his hands and the spear was blocked by an invisible force. Before anyone could take a breath, a blossom of flames burst out from the point of impact. Charlotte quickly pulled away before her hair could get burnt.

“Wow~!” Charlotte brought a hand to her mouth in a genuine expression of shock and delight. “You’re a telekinetic and you’re a pyrokinetic! Just like the commander said!”

“What the hell do you want with us!?” Kazama shouted.

Charlotte smiled, painting a picture of pure innocence.

“The commander wants to bring you to his lab.” She pointed at Dirk, and then swept her hand towards the other psychics. “And the rest of us are here to make sure you go.”

“Well, what if we don-”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Scanner-Man yelled as he began a deafening series of claps. The unnaturally high-pitched sound continued to ring in everyone’s ears long after he’d finished. “Rasputin, in what possible way was her explanation better than mine!?”

Rasputin smirked, but the edges of his mouth twitched. The disruptive psychic might not have noticed, but his ability had put everyone on edge.

“Scanner-Man, I gave you specific instructions about when and where you can use your power…” Dirk growled. “That was not one of them.”

“And I didn’t want to mention it…” Braino muttered. “But since you already destroyed the mood. WHY THE FUCK IS FRIDAY STILL STUCK IN YOUR HEAD!? YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!”

“Guys! Stop fighting!” Charlotte turned her back on the Noh family and ran over to the volatile pair.

“Could you two be any less professional!?” Dirk yelled as he stomped towards the trio.

Rasputin quietly took a large step back.

While the four members of C.U.N.T were squabbling, Kazama and Belle looked at one another and nodded. A ring of fire shot up around the agents. They were struck blind by the sudden light and struggled to breathe as their oxygen was sucked away by the greedy flames. Despite the heated situation, Dirk felt a chill as he looked up. The smoky black ceiling was hidden from view. A massive chunk of crystalline ground hovered above them.

“Above!” Dirk’s oxygen-deprived voice barely carried, but it reached the person it needed to.

Everyone get serious!

A familiar nasally voice rang out in each agent’s head.

The crystal boulder began to shake violently, and then it was torn apart by an invisible force. At the same time, a swarm of silver tentacles swept away the fire. A painful ringing noise made Kazama and Belle step back and clutch their ears. This time, it didn’t seem to affect the other agents.

Kazama wrenched his hands away from his ears and gathered more chunks of crystal. Belle wreathed herself in flames. Braino stepped forward and the other psychics fell into formation at his side. Adam and Dirk scrambled as far away from the action as they could.

“Ok.” Braino said, grimacing. “Hard way it is.”

*Thud Thud Thud*

Kazama’s ammunition suddenly fell to the ground. Belle’s flames vanished in the same instant. The pair looked around wildly while their opponents stood dumbfounded.

“Did one of you do that?” Charlotte whispered.

Scanner-Man and Braino both shook their heads.

“Oh, we’re cured.” Belle observed.

“Well, it has been about a week.” Kazama muttered. “At least this won’t be like the time when I could see ghosts for a month.”

Adam rushed over when he noticed something was off. “Did you two lose your powers?”

The twins nodded and Adam sighed. Whether it was a sigh of relief or disappointment is better left unsaid.

“Did…Did they actually lose their powers?” Dirk asked Braino from a safe distance.

“They don’t seem to be lying.” Braino replied, shrugging hesitantly.

Dirk pulled out a barometer-like device and pointed it at the twins. After glaring at it for over a minute, the commander released a heavy sigh. Finally, he waved at his subordinates.

“We’re done here. I don’t know how they did it, but I’m not reading any psi-energy.”

“You’re kidding.” Scanner-Man shook his head in disbelief. “We can’t just let them go.”

“Yea! I wanted to fight more!” Charlotte huffed.

“Leaving them like this would be absurd.” Braino added. The dwarf rubbed his rubbed his temples while Rasputin failed to muffle his laughter.

“You guys are forgetting something important…” Dirk pocketed his sunglasses as he stepped towards the psychics.

Dirk placed his right hand on Braino and his left on Charlotte. He had to kneel to do so. The commander’s stern expression vanished, and for a moment, he looked like a parent pulling his kids aside.

“Kidnapping children is illegal.”

“…” Braino and Charlotte stared up at him with flat brows and paraboloid mouths.

“Psychics are one thing, but kidnapping normal children is bad.” Dirk continued, shaking his head.

Braino opened his mouth, and then closed it. Dirk patted them twice and then stood up. Once he put his sunglasses back on, the devious commander returned.

“Ok.” He barked, turning towards the twins. “You three have a LOT of NDAs to sign.”

Kazama, Belle and Adam slowly nodded.

Pritchard’s closed for the week to investigate the bomb threat, and the Noh family used that time well. Under Adam’s instruction, Kazama and Belle finally reached a state where they could control their powers. Then, as expected, those abilities vanished at the end of the week. And so, the twins quietly finished another chapter in their lives.

And that was all that happened.