《Everyone is a Superhero! Apart from me》26. At least we didn't lose a war to emus
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In the current climate, the term Sshanhu refers to less of a race of people, but more of their political affiliation. It's impossible to trace the original bloodline of the Sshanhu clans, but most nomadic tribes in existence at the moment refer to themselves as the descendant of these mighty, fiery steppe overlords. And these people might not be incorrect. From the Central Highland Mange Horde to the Northern desert Pekanshi clans, the clansman almost always share a specific kind of universal Enhancement-typed Flair.
Excerpt from "The Invincible Sshanhu: Myth or History?"
Eugene De Lavet
We slowly ride through the heart of the village. Tent houses mount in rows on the side, some covered with brown cloth, others with sandy yellow buckram, others with some kind of fabric Azra reveals to be hemp. Apparently hemp tents withstand the desert wind better than any other kind.
"You can actually tell who's a settler in this village and who's a nomad," Azra remarks. "Settlers put carpets in front of their houses and their tents have several layers of cloth. The normal brown cloth you see on some tent houses are in fact the outermost layer. Single-layered tents are easier to carry around."
"Then there aren't many settlers at all," says Melodi.
"I doubt people would spend their whole lives eating cactus in the middle of the desert," I reply.
Villagers peek out of their tents and look at us as if we're a pod of winged Tahtilan whales flying over Mirai mountain. They don't seem to care about us as much as the vehicles we're on, which makes sense. People know how other people look like, but I bet the number of times they've seen a wheelbike is equal to the number of times I've seen a camel. Zero.
Azra urges us to ignore them and keep heading Northward, to the only stone building in the village (and it's also shaped like a tent for some reason). A bronze falcon-like bird with an elongated tail is engraved on the roof, swaying whenever the wind blows.
"Why are we stopping here, by the way?" Melodi asks with a pout. "Since you're so insistence on running away, I figured we wouldn't have stopped so close to Likimi."
Azra replies, "Pyro is trying to exterminate to the last of Socenian blood, and he will not be the only one. Alone and weakened, it's unlikely we'll stand a chance. However, there is one thing that can help us keep our lives and reclaim our lost nation."
"And what would it be?"
"Hundreds of years ago, the Socenian royal bloodline had hid an artifact of extraordinary power somewhere within the Northern Emirates. This artifact is so powerful that it gives its wielder the strength to defeat entire armies. It's called 'The Treasure of King Igor'. It is our obligation to seize it, and our duty to utilize it."
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I've never heard of this artifact, but I've heard of King Igor. He was the last king of Socen, and he probably had had a close relationship with Azra, judging from how the Commander casually wields on his the king's former weapons and all the secrets he knows.
Azra gets off his bike, walks up to the stone building, and calls, "Is anybody home? We are here to meet village head Kassem."
No reply. Azra repeats the same line, but louder.
This time, a childish, cranky voice resounds from inside. "I hear ya! Gosh, travelers are the most impatient bunch. Just lemme finish this game o' Chezz, will ya?"
"That doesn't sound like a village elder," I say. I doubt whoever just yelled has hit puberty yet.
"Are you the village head?" Azra says.
"I'm the damn head! I'm also the damn legs, arms, toes, belly button, and fingernails, since these damn folks can't do anything around here!" The village head opens the door and walk out, and he's indeed a child. Short and stout, he looks like a giant toddler in his ridiculously long feather cape. A high hat on his head looking like a peculiar crown with the shape of a blue-feathered bird, the same one I saw on the roof of the building. All in all, he looks like he's just droused himself in bird tuft.
"What happened to Kassam?" Asks Azra.
"You mean the old man? He passed away. What are you to him?"
"What happened to him?"
"Pops saved the town from an army of ten thousand emus. He was a true hero."
"My apologies," Azra lowers his voice. "I—"
"Just kidding. He died of old age."
"That's not something to joke about!" Melodi protests.
The boy shrugs. "The alternative to joking is not joking, and that's arguably less fun."
"Finally, someone who gets me!" I jump from my bike. "What's your name, bro?"
"Evictus." The boy eyes me up and down.
"Mine's Eugene! Damn, we share the same first letter!"
"I wear a red cape. You have red hair. We're sworn bros already!"
We let out an unison, enthusiastic 'ohhhhhhhh', then I proceed to give him a high-five despite Melodi and Azra's incessant sighs.
"Eugene, stay back," Azra orders. "I have something to discuss with the village head."
"Fine." Evictus clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. "Let's hear from the boring people first."
The Commander explains who we are and our situation, and he concludes as soon as the child starts to yawn. "For many years, we have guaranteed peace for people of Kakwai under our patronage. Elder Kassam owed us a favor, and it is high time we claim it."
"Patronage, bah!" Evictus waves his hand. "You did nothing for Kakwai. I've never even seen you lot since I was born! And you know what? We fended off sandstorms and giant skeletons by ourselves. Well, technically, the 'we' are my arms, my legs, my belly buttons, and my fingernails. Anyway, point is, we don't need any aid."
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"You were too young to know what happened, village head. Likimi forest hid you from the dangers of the world. But now that the forest is lost, we need to work together to secure our survival."
"Self-important hero talk, blah blah, more self-important hero talk. Just tell me what you wanna know."
"Twenty-five years ago, King Igor gave Elder Kassam a confidential letter, and the Elder had brought it to the North with him. That letter contains the important clue to what could very well decide the fate of our kingdom. If you can just—"
"Don't know. Never seen it." Evictus shrugs.
"This kid. . ." Melodi looks like she's about to jump at the boy, but Alleria whispers something into her ear and she stays where she is.
"This is a matter of utmost importance. Your father must have told you something." Azra frowns and folds his hands before his chest, and I know I'd stay away from the Commander whenever he does that.
"Well. . ." Evictus scratches his non-existent goatee. "There's this one thing he said to me on his death bed, but I'm not sure if you wanna hear it."
"What is it?"
"Eh. . . I really think I shouldn't talk about this."
Azra keeps pressing, but Evictus keeps insisting that this is a very difficult thing to say.
"Even if you won't want to hear it?"
"Don't test my patience." Azra steps forward and peers down at the child. He seems to be trying to intimidate the little guy.
"Wow, wow, wow. Take it busy, big guy. I'll spit, I'll spit."
"Okay, say it. What did your daddy tell you?"
"Before my father passed, we kids—myself and my two sis—gathered around his death bed to hear his last wish. But father said nothing. We were getting unsettled because father was a serious man, and he surely would have had important things to say. So we kept asking, and asking, and asking. In the end, father got mad and yelled," Evictus stomped on the floor then yelled at Azra. "'Are you a dimwit? Stop freaking asking, you asshat!' Then he passed."
I snort and snicker, but cover my mouth when Azra glares at me. I don't know how the Commander can keep calm. He just got pranked! He should either get really mad or burst in laughter! You don't simply not react after a prank; the reaction is where all the fun is!
Azra rubs his forehead. "Fine. If you don't have the information about the letter or the golden box containing it, we'll—"
Evictus interrupts. "The box, huh? Why didn't you just ask about the box? My pops actually said before he passed that 'we have to keep the golden box secure from ogling eyes'. To be honest, if you want people to not ogle the box, you wouldn't have made it in gold!"
"So, your father's last words were 'Are you a dimwit? Stop freaking asking, you asshat! Keep the golden box secure from ogling eyes'?"
"Uh. . . Yeah. Something like that." He scratches his head. "So you wanna see the box or not?"
"Lead the way."
Evictus' room looks like a mess, as expected from a child who happens to be my newfound brother. Empty glasses, picture books, a Chezz board, and skewers of whatever kind of food that was on them scatter everywhere on the floor.
"Whoops," the boy exclaims, then takes a broom and sweep them all under a rug. "There. Now it's all clean until I lift the rug again. Now let me just find that box. . ."
It takes him another ten minute of scavenging through his mountain of scrap to find a golden box that's so tiny it fits in his hand, and so shiny it can function as a night torch. However, it's locked away behind metal shackles and a giant lock.
"Too many shackles," Lek whispers.
"Yeah," I reply. "Way to say: 'I'm important, please rob me'."
Putting the box down, Evictus looks at us. We look at him. He looks at us. We look at him.
"Uh. . ." I break the awkward silence. "Aren't you going to open it?"
"Well, the king gave us a box, not a box and a key."
"You little brat!" Melodi points at her. "I've had enough of your annoying attitude! You wanna know what I can do to you now?"
"I don't know. Asking me out on a date?" The boy fakes a gasp. "Lemme warn ya, my standards are high. You came with no tribute: no cactus smoothies and no camel skewer! But since I'm such a generous chieftain, I'll graciously accept your offer!"
"You are dead!" She charges at the kid, and he runs around the tent to evade her persue.
"So much anger for someone so beautiful!" Evictus yells as he runs. "Eugene, my brother, help!"
"I'll come to your funeral, my late brother."
They keep chasing each other around and I keep watching them until a soft clank echoes around the tent. We turn back to the source of the sound, and sees Azra putting the unbolted lock on the floor before pulling the shackles apart.
"How did you do that?" Melodi asks.
The Commander doesn't answer, but instead proceeds to open the box.
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