《Everyone is a Superhero! Apart from me》11. Idiocy is a very subjective term
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Mar'muk
Type: Legendary Protector of the Soul Realm
Level: 768
Dungeon: Northern Core
Reward: 70,000 ~ 100,000 Soul Dusts
Guaranteed Rare weapons
Moderate chance of Epic weapons: Master Soulweaver Armor, Guardian Armor, Earthen Core Lance
Moderate chance of Legendary mineral: Mantle Ore
Low chance of Legendary weapons: Mother Trista's Chainmail
Slain by: Rizeni Baggardo
Excerpt from "Dungeon Records: The Hundred Emirates"
Melodi Baggardo
The Dungeon test. I've seen this obstacle test no less than ten times, and I've practiced with Groundskeeper Tamara no less than three times. She's been really helpful whenever I'm here, but unfortunately I can't pick the Groundskeeper as a partner since Father thinks that'd be cheating. I don't agree with him, but it's not like I have a choice.
It's crazy how I've practiced more with Tamara than with my own practice partner.
I gaze at the holographical dungeon ahead. The holograms are just recreated images, but the general structure is real. A substantial amount of Soul Dust was used to maintain these structures. The best property of Soul Dust is that they can mimic desired textures and toughness of real material, and the second best property is that they can reshape themselves in numerous shapes and sizes.
I know that these dusts are expensive, but they're far from unattainable. But Father told me that the only reason we have enough Soul Dust for this training ground to function was that as a General, he had plenty of chances to attain them from various Legendary dungeons or simply from the right merchants.
"Okay, Eugene. Here's the plan. I'll take the route below. You handle the axes above. There are checkpoints after every three obstacles. Look closely; those checkpoints have red markers on the side. . . Eugene!"
The idiot lunges toward the entrance, shouting, "Loser has to pluck the seeds off watermelons!"
"This isn't a race!" I clutch the glowing ball in my hand as I chase after him. He's already through the first swinging axe as I make it to the gate. The spiky pillar in front of me keeps slamming from the left to the right every three second. I've never been dexterous enough to slip through or jump past it without touching the axe above, but there's one thing I can do.
As the pillar smashes itself to the side again, I throw a punch at it. It breaks in half; the other half slides through the ground. The half attached to the wall still pushes in and outward, but it only reaches halfway, and I easily spleen aside. But Eugene has already reached the checkpoint. He can't pass the second one before throwing me the ball AND allow me to pass before he does.
"Eugene," I shout. "The ball!"
"The what?" He says without stopping. He dashes to the side with lightning speed, hopping between the walls like a flying squirrel flinging between the branches. None of the axes is even close to touching him. He'd do great in the solo Dungeon test.
"The ball, you. . ." Andddd he passes the second checkpoint. Red light flashes through the entire dungeon and the place starts disintegrating, starting from the dungeon ceiling down to the axes.
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"Uh, what's happening? Did we pass?" Eugene lands on the ground and scratches his shoulder.
"Ugh. We failed." I smash on the back of his head. "You're supposed to catch the ball. This ball!" I thrust the orb to his chest.
"Then you should've told me!" He grabs it and juggles it.
"I did! Why are you an idiot?"
"Idiocy is a very subjective term. And if I didn't hear anything then you didn't tell me."
I want to whoop his ass so much, but he'll start screaming and Father might find out. So I just sigh and shake my head. "I'll restart the exact test. Just keep pace with me."
"But you're so slow."
The first time he said that to me, I felt my heart aching a bit. He kept an obnoxious grin on his face like he had to let me know I'd never reach his level of swiftness. But then he said it twice, then five times, then another fifty times. Each time he reminded me, the pain subsided a little.
I turn my back on him and walk back to the host computer. "We have fifty seconds. Don't mess up again."
"Can't promise anything, but will try."
I scroll through the options until I see the button Restart: Same Test right above Restart: Randomized. The dungeon shows up again, and Eugene is jogging in place right before the starting line. "C'mon. I'm getting sick of this level already!" He waves at me.
"Since you're faster, I'll go first," I tell Eugene as I take the spot next to him. "After I punch through the second pillar then you start. I'll toss the ball in the air for you."
We proceed as planned. As I blow the second pillar out of my sight, Eugene slides on the wall above me and winks at me when I look up. A little early, but at least he's listening. I hoop through the third pillar and the checkpoint, throw the ball up in the air. He catches it, kicks on the wall, backflips over the swinging axe melodramatically before turning back to his squirrel moves.
He passes the checkpoint then drops the ball. I catch it, kick the pillar in front of me away, then soldiers my way through the obstacles. We repeat it three more times before passing the finish line with seventeen seconds to spare.
The second try was a walk in the park, as it should be.
"That was easy. I can do this all day." Eugene plays with the ball in his hands.
"There are still three tests left. Don't be ahead of yourself."
"I don't know about 'myself', but I've been ahead of you so far." Eugene was about to walk back to the line on the other side, but I grab the nape of his suit and pulls him towards the other end. "The second challenge starts here."
The computer takes another minute to render, and the same forest as the Southern oakwood at the back of our residence area appears. The trees glow and the leaves flit against the darkened night sky, making it easier to navigate in pitch black. A few white rabbits hop out of the holes near the far corner behind the thicklets and start running towards the other end. They're sped up version of normal rabbits, so they are even harder to catch. These rabbits are like mini jaguars.
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Another line of text runs across the electronic board from afar. It says:
Initiating Teamwork Practice, Section II: Capturing Moving Targets.
"So, what do we have to do for this one, Miss I-Know-All-The-Exams?" Eugene asks.
"The two players need to hunt nine rabbits within two minutes, and one player must not hunt three more rabbits then another. No weapons allowed apart from pre-rendered bows. No Flairs allowed. We only have ten arrows each." I pick up the bows and arrow quivers from the nearby weapon racks and give one of each to him.
"So either I kill five, you kill four, or I kill four, you kill five." Eugene says.
"Yup."
"Hey. Alleria likes rabbit. We can call her out then slay these little rodents before her eyes to show her a good time."
What the hell is wrong with him? If I have a choice to not eat rabbits, I wouldn't have touched the little guys. They're cute. "SCs are forbidden until the last two challenges."
Eugene fakes a yawn. "Boringgg. This isn't even a real test."
"You take the left. I'm left-handed, so I take the right."
"Whatever you say, General Baggardo Junior."
We get to action. I spend the first minute observing the rabbits as they spring from the holes, mentally computing their speed and how much ahead I need to aim. I miss the first shot on the rabbit by quite a distance. Annoyed, I glide the bow following its direction of movement, aiming for the body. My arrow grazes past its little tail and plugs itself on the grass. I turn to Eugene and he's fired five shots already, missing three. Both of us have never been good with bows.
I look at the holes again, and notice that a new rabbit seems to jump from there every twenty seconds. If I can aim for the holes and time my shot right, it should be much easier than shooting a rabbit in motion.
But a rabbit only spawn every twenty seconds. With a total of two holes, that's just twelve rabbits.
I turn to Eugene to relay my thoughts to him, but he isn't in his spot anymore. He sprints into the woods, chases after a rabbit, catches up with it, then smashes on its head with the tip of the bow. He's actually a fair bit faster than the rabbits, so he just goes around hitting them on the head until he gets five kill, while I stand there dumbfounded.
Gosh, he's destroying the equipments.
He catches a rabbit with his hand and carries it by the ears to me. No, not the ear! Poor little thing.
"They never said we have to kill with arrows." He hands it to me as he smirks. "Give it a boink on the head."
The animal's big, round, glittering eyes stare straight at mine. It almost looks like he's sulking.
I try to hit it with the tip of my bow, but end up giving it a little nudge instead.
"A harder boink. You want it dead, don't you?"
"I can't do it when he keeps looking at me like that."
"C'mon. Was this how you failed the test last time?"
I shudder. I can't fail the test anymore. Not for any reason.
I close my eyes and smash the creature in front of me as hard as I can. I hear a yelp followed by an "ouch" from Eugene, and I know I've achieved what I wanted.
When I open my eyes again, Eugene's clutching his arm and the dead animal is on the floor. There's no blood flowing from him because apparently blood is too gory for a simulation.
"You hit both of us, you masochist!" Eugene wails.
"Hey, my eyes were closed. If I didn't see anything then I didn't hit you."
"Touché."
I glance at the timer on the dashboard. "We have twenty seconds left."
"Do what you need to." He shrugs.
Then, an idea comes to me.
I pull an arrow from my quiver and run across the field. With the time left, there will only be two rabbits jumping out of the hole. I need to hit that rabbit running away from the forest.
I speed up and aim as I dash. My fingers are shaky, and my breathing is erratic. The animal is disappearing from sight. There's no time to wait.
I fire the shot.
The arrow lunges through the air with a swoosh, plugging on the animal's head. It drops dead.
The win is in the bag.
I run to a hole and wait until a rabbit jumps out. Then I smash my fist on its head. It flies in the air, smashes its body into a tree, then drops to the ground, immobile.
I wait until the second rabbit jumps out. There's only three seconds left.
Three.
No rabbit.
Two.
Still no rabbit.
One.
I can't see the creature from underground; only the rustling of the dirt underneath. I throw my punch into the hole, hoping it will connect with something.
And it did.
The forest disintegrates, and the line 'You have passed' runs across the dashboard. I rub my hand to get rid of the non-existent rabbit blood as I walk back.
"Creative." He smiles, giving me a single clap.
"They never said we have to kill with arrows." I return his smile. "Ready for the next one?"
I expect him to reply with some kind of whining, but he just says 'sure'.
As we walk to the first starting point for our third test, a swooshing sound like that of a sudden gale resounds. As that sound ceases, a woman voice echoes, "You shouldn't be here."
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