“This is getting out of hand.”

The Grand High Cleric of the Angelus Holy Union sat in a room illuminated from behind him by light shining through a stained-glass window.

“At first there was only one system that went dark, taken by the sinful and evil infidels; now there are two of them. How much longer must our people suffer such humiliation and indignity? For even one of our systems to go into the long night is a disgrace and a stain on our collective souls that only our most benevolent and merciful Lord can absolve us from, but two systems might be a blemish upon our souls too great for Lugus to forgive.”

The Grand High Cleric held his gaze at the Fleet Admiral in charge of Homeland Defense. That man was effectively the highest leader of the Angelus Holy Union’s ‘Coast Guard’. The Homeland Defense Fleet Admiral knew full well what was going to come next, and while he wanted to speak up he knew that doing so would condemn his and his family’s souls to the deepest depths of Hell.

“Do you have anything to say in your defense, or will you accept the judgement of Lugus’ Personal Vicar without question?”

Homeland Defense Fleet Admiral Zasalmel Arch-Seraphim kept quiet and waited for his judgement. At least it would be solely himself that faced the torments of the deepest depth, and no others.

“I do not mean to interrupt, your holiness, but I have something that might be of interest to your chosen ears.”

Zasal glanced over to his greatest rival. Sarial Arch-Seraphim was a member of the ruling caste just like him but had always gone out of his way to screw Zasalmel over at every possible point he could. What could this jackass be plotting? Sarial passed a holotape over to the Grand High Cleric, who activated it in full view of everyone else.

“This is disgraceful. We need more funding or else we wont stand a chance against even the ships of the infidels! We are using tech that the heathens already moved past, and they expect this bunch of tin cans with pea shooters to defend every system we own? Against what exactly can we defend against? Even pirates and criminals have better tech than what the Home Defense Fleets have! Our armor is like paper and our shields are only powerful enough to stop micrometeors, so how exactly would we even last a single Lugus-damned minute against any decent force?! I swear, its like nobody thinks of hypothetical scenarios at all. Don’t they know that you can’t make an adequate defense with trash? They mock the tech our foes have and yet they give me this shit and then expect me to get results. Getting poor results means less funding, and less funding mean less results. This is a death spiral, and all it would take is a single nudge to send everything careening into the abyss…”

The holotape recording of Zasalmel’s angry rant played on for another few minutes as Zasalmel himself grew more and more furious. He was left questioning and cursing in his mind, all of his hatred and anger direct solely on the shoulders of the man who had routinely screwed him over for decades.

“Damn you, Sarial! What in Lugus’ name are you trying to do?! I am already dead and damned, so what more could you hope to achieve?!”

He said nothing but let himself stew in his own rage-fueled thoughts. Finally, the tape came to an end, but before Lugus’ Vicar could speak more words of condemnation, Sarial spoke up.

“As you can see, your holiness, it is not his fault that he has suffered such humiliation and allowed our great people to have our collective souls blemished in such a way. Indeed, the fault lies not on him, but upon the budgeting department and our own carelessness. My good friend Zasalmel was right to be furious, as would anyone who took even a cursory glance at the disparity between our true navy and the Home Defense Fleets.”

Now Zasalmel was confused. Was his nemesis actually sticking up for him? Why? Was this all just to rub into his face just how pathetic he was compared to his rival?

“So, what do you suggest, Arch-Seraphim? Someone must take responsibility for this damage to our honor and purity.”

Sarial nodded.

“Yes, your grace, I do feel the same. However, my fellow Arch-Seraphim is not at fault, just as you are not at fault for our loss of our greatest marvel. No, the ones at fault are the same they have always been. We did not fail Lugus, praised be His name. No, the Five-Headed Devil was responsible. The cursed and demonic reptilian whore was there at that battle, and that means that the Devil herself is responsible for all of our losses thus far. If anything, now is not the time for us to be blaming each other, but instead a time for us to unite and finally end the threat of the Devil once and for all.”

The Grand High Cleric slowly nodded.

“Yes. Yes. You speak words of wisdom far beyond that which your caste could possibly create. Perhaps Lugus Himself has given you this insight?”

“Oh no, most beneficent one, only you could have such an honor bestowed upon you. However, this is merely a suggestion, nothing more. Truly, Lugus has surely told you such things far before my feeble mind could come up with them. I would not dream of comprehending the vast wealth of foresight that Lugus has granted you, for surely all this was part of your great plan.”

“Ah.. yes.. Yes it was. We are well on our way to its completion. Son the grand plot that Lugus has let me create with come together, and our foes will be but ash and vapor.”

The Arch-Seraphim all nodded at the words of their Supreme Religious Leader, but all of them secretly said the same thing in their head.

“Bull Shit!”

…

Zasalmel approached his hated rival after the meeting.

“Why? Why did you, of all people, stand up for me? I thought you hated me since childhood, so what gives?”

Sarial sighed and handed him a glass of blessed water.

“Because, my old foe, we have a far greater issue to deal with than our petty rivalry and our blatant hate for each other. We, as a species, now stand at a crossroads. Do we end up taking the path that leads to unconditional victory, or the one that leads to utter oblivion? We can try and force ourselves down the path to victory, but now that the Devil has reappeared, we now have a serious risk of facing extinction. Now is not the time for cracks to form in our foundation.”

Sarial poured himself a glass of water as well and downed it.

“United we stand, divided we fall. At the end of this war there are only two options, total victory or total defeat. I, for one, would like to see us win, and as much as I hate your guts I can’t simply have someone who has been able to fight off superior forces with archaic equipment be excommunicated and executed like a common infidel.”

Sarial filled his glass again and downed it.

“No matter what the Grand High Cleric says, we are in the darkest of days, and only a miracle can get us out of it. If everything goes poorly, Almighty Lugus may very well have to return to a universe devoid of his greatest works.”

“Then, if that impossibility does happen,” Zasalmel said before downing his glass of water, “the Devil and her servants will be in for a very rude awakening. They may have a better time if they just let us purge them, at least then they would not have to face the Almighty One.”

Sarial nodded in affirmation but turned away and spoke under his breath.

“That is, if Lugus was or even is a God at all…”