《The Crux of Human Suffering》Chapter 24: Cherish
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*Author note: I released two chapters at once. Make sure to read them all. I say this because this chapter has many more views than the one before it. Author note end*
I keep walking down the stairs and wave the young man at the register away. He looks disgusted at the blood on my hand, and I quickly cover it. I think about Atticus. He’s needed at this point, and I love how systematically he can do things, but he has baggage.
I hope my plan worked. I stabbed myself to show him I can’t be murdered easily, and if he arranged it, trick him into thinking I know it. Something feels off. Atticus has been placid for two entire years, why make such a risky move now? I look upwards towards a tree and thank Atticus for being so simple minded.
I continue walking towards the nice part of town whenever I see a familiar set of faces. Elizabeth and her butler are walking together. The butler is carrying groceries and some shoes from a tailor. Elizabeth has long curly hair pulled up into a bun, and she is wearing a lovely blue dress. It has frills I have not seen since being in this world.
“I see John’s keeping you straight as always,” I say while curling my mouth.
“You look dashing as always, Nox. What happened to your hand?” she says while walking over and grabbing it. My hand has blood streaking it, and a small hole quickly closing. Before she gets a good look I rip it away and say, “Cut it while working, look’s worse than it is. I think that’s enough talk about my wonderful looks. How have you been lately my lady?”
“Trying to get my dad to send more money. Tauss really is unlike any other place in the world. I can get things here I never would have elsewhere. I’ve heard your mother also has another invention she’s revealing later this week,” she says while throwing her hands up as though her dad is just terrible.
“You seem to have too much of that already. John over here will be a muscle man before long. You can thank me later dear John,” I say while taking one of his bags. We turn and begin walking towards her house.
“A gentleman? You surprise me every time,” she says.
“A gentleman? Is it that surprising I know how to treat a lady?” I say.
“With how we first met, why yes. I thought you were rather rough around the edges, or should I say...pretty but stupid?” she says while holding her hand over her mouth and mock gasping.
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“Oh? So was it going to be a story of beauty and the beast then?” I say while curling my mouth.
She blushes red while pouting and saying, “I take it all back. A monster is what you are.”
“You only hit the nail on the head when you close your eyes my lady,” I say while laughing.
“I feel like you are always having an inside joke with yourself,” she says.
“I’ve lived two lives, so it isn’t that surprising,” I say while laughing even harder.
“Why haven’t you asked me out or visited? You seem to enjoy yourself when I’m around,” she says while raising one brow.
“Oh? We have the question? I already have a girlfriend. I’d hate to make her jealous,” I say.
The blood sinks from her face, and her eyes widen. She raises her hand and then slowly lowers it. She asks dejectedly,“Who?”
“I can show you now if you’d like? John can come as well. I think she’d like having more people,” I say.
“How rude? She would hate you bringing another lady I’m sure,” she says.
“Are any of us sure about anything? I think she would like to have you,” I say while her large house comes into sight.
She pauses in front of her gate and scratches her head. She opens her mouth then closes it. She shrugs and says, “If you say so Nox. I guess you’ll understand a maiden's heart better afterwards.”
I stare downwards after placing her stuff inside of the house and say, “Or maybe you’ll understand mine just a little.”
She stops dead in her tracks and grabs my chin. She turns my head upwards and looks at John. John remains stone like as ever. She turns her head back to me and says, “I can see more than just this rough shell you say? I can’t think of anything that could pierce your character.”
“Well think again. I’m going now. Come if you like.” I say while pulling her hand away and walking out of the house.
I look around to see the ever expanding financial district of Tauss. Large red and white houses surround me. Made of Pariah and white wood, the houses shimmer like a sea of red and white. I walk past the fences and hear footsteps behind me. Somehow the atmosphere is too thick to talk, so we all follow me silently.
Elizabeth’s house is in the farthest corner of the financial district, and where I need to go is just a ways past the edge of town on the opposite side. We walk past the central courthouse district, the shopping district, a small section of the slums. On the way I walk into a tailor shop and grab a bag made of leather.
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I stuff it into a larger pack I always carry. I walk to a florist shop. The walls are made of wood, and the roof is made of pariah glass to let the light in. I see the lights glimmer and ask, “What do you think she’ll like?” My voice is soft and serious. I look around and elizabeth turns red and almost yells, but John moves from his stone like expression and shakes his head left and right.
The sudden motion stops her head in her tracks, and she instead stomps a foot. She leans to John and whispers something in his ear, but John just shakes his head again. She turns to me and says, “...I guess some Lilacs.”
My face turns slightly red and I say, “Those sound absolutely perfect.”
I grab the largest bundle and she stops me. She pays for them. I grab them and thank her before walking outside and heading for a workshop just across the street. They follow, but this time I pick up a set of measuring scales and some tracing paper. My face reddens again as I pick up the items and leave.
I walk towards the edge of town. We leave the town’s edges, and I head towards a waterfall I found years ago. They follow, but I hear the occasional complaint from Elizabeth. We approach the waterfall wherever a large rectangle made of pariah glass appears. It has a large square of stone behind it reaching from the ground towards the sky.
The waterfall adds a pleasant crescendo of water, and a small set of trees sit set next to the water. They bear some kind of fruit, and next to them is a poorly made bench. Oddly enough the two squares are positioned right behind the bench.
I walk up and pull out my three items. I grab the lilacs first. I place them on top of the square. I hear Eizabeth’s shocked voice say, “A grave....” I turn around to reveal tears falling from my face. I see her instantly put her hands to her face and grimace. I say, “I’m sure she’d love to hear anything you have to say. You’re the one who bought her the flowers after all.”
She starts to cry as she slowly walks up. She stands next to me and says through tears, “ I really can’t...I don’t know what to say.”
“She loved meeting new people. I’m sure she would love to just meet you.” I say while my face contorts in grief.
She shakes her head up and down as she says, “Well okay. I’m Elizabeth,” she pauses as she leans forward to read the engraved words, “and it’s nice to...Meet you Kinslee. I...” She stops and starts crying. I turn my head and tilt it to ask if she can continue. She puts her hand up and holds it in front of me to tell me to stop.
“am incredibly happy to meet you. I’m sure you are as beautiful and amazing as where you rest right now.” she says and steps back. I step forwards and pull out the leather pouch. I place it gently next to the flowers.
I hear a sniffle, and I turn around. Elizabeth’s face is completely wrecked. Her makeup is smeared, and she points me back towards the grave.
“If there is anytime I would fall for you, it would be when you're crying about her.” I say.
I pull out the scales and tracing paper. Then I pull out the first book I ever created and printed with the press. It’s titled, "Architectural Graphic Standards." I put the book next to her grave. While leaning over I land on my knees. A single raindrop falls on my head, and soon a rainstorm hits.
“Are you doing well Kinslee? I am. I’ve made a lot of friends, and I’ve finally forgiven myself for letting all of those people die. You know I couldn’t stop thinking about you after I almost died...I guess it’s because you were there when I died. I...I guess you really never know what you have till you lose it huh? Because I just miss you more every day.” I pause and take a deep breathe.
“I can’t help but think how I could run with you everyday now. I would run as much as you wanted, I promise. I know you would have loved that...It’s already been 6 years since I lost you huh? How are you doing? Are you an architect like you always wanted to be? I really hope...It’s as great….As me...” I lift my head up into the rain and I lament.
“Wahhhhhhh. KINSLEEE.” I pound the ground as water covers my body. I hear the sniffle every few seconds for a few more minutes, and then the pounding of rain and the waterfall take its place. I whisper,
“I still love you.”
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