Clone Eryk cares not about the finer details of his current job.

These past days, he has unlocked a brand new path, a career that he had no idea he would ever be interested in.

But thanks to Master Keitou, his new agent, Clone Eryk has a brighter future than he ever realized. At least for the time he will last.

At this very moment as he stands in the hot sun on gray, steaming asphalt, he is able to live his dreams of the glory of combat and fun. For there are not two, not four, but six armed soldiers rushing towards him, hands drawn up and pointing to him as if they were holding pistols.

He kicks down on himself and backflips over the crowd. Then he shoves his palm out and stops it just inches away from one soldier’s face. The man levitates quickly through the air and then falls onto a giant inflatable mat. It’s only then, when he is clear, that Clone Eryk allows his palm to unleash its full kinetic energy and blast the air around him.

The other soldiers fire their finger funs, empty, in his direction. Loud sounds ring out in the distance, but Clone Eryk’s ears hardly hear him, thanks of course to the plugs he is wearing.

A quiet explosion behind Clone Eryk makes everyone jump—literally, that is—as they fly ten feet into the air and their finger guns convert into mighty fists. One of them lands on the ground with her fist punching into the asphalt, which cracks. Another lands gracefully on her index finger, before spinning around and landing on her feet.

These are the master soldiers that Eryk must defeat, and luckily he is exactly the one to do it. In fact, the only one to do it, because he is the stunt actor for the main character.

This is Eryk’s third movie in as many days, and luckily due to his lack of a contract with the Stunt Worker’s Guild, he has been able to work twelve-hour days with nobody looking at him suspiciously at all.

This movie, in particular, is titled Payback: The End of the World. It is set in a world with no guns, where fists are the main weapon of choice and war is waged everywhere. His character is the protagonist, a loner with a special fist technique who is just trying to find his ex-wife and estranged teenage daughter. How Clone Eryk discerned that much just from these scenes, he hardly knew, but he found himself quite adept at this whole movie making business. If only the parties could be in the daytime, too.

After this scene, the shoot would wrap up for the day. He would go back to Master Keitou, and she would teach him more elven magic. Then he would finally get what he deserves and take an [Uber] to some grand, hedonistic pleasure battle. He calls the things battles because they resemble that more than anything else. To truly enjoy the greatest of what a Los Angeles party has to offer, one most steel themself for it. One must be prepared to get smashing, black-out drunk, or else to have passionate, one-night sex with an individual who never even said their name. Clone Eryk has done both of these things at these wonderful parties, sometimes multiple times in one night, thanks to the sobering power of a good Destiny Card.

With so many Destiny Points, with so much wonder to be had in this world, it is essentially perfect. Clone Eryk will find a way to live forever, no doubts about that. No way will Hollywood let a guy like him slip away. If only he cared.

He throws a fake punch at a soldier, who then makes a complete vertical spin before landing on an off-camera mat. Then he eviscerates one last soldier by hoisting her up in the air and throwing her clear over the studio lot. That one would have gone extremely poorly were Clone Eryk not a good shot, but luckily he was an amazing shot, so the stunt actor lands safely on a mat placed far away.

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

So many Destiny Points, all because his system thinks these are real battles he is winning. He knows they are not, but he will not tell the system if nobody else is going to. As long as he can ride out this battling, he will do it. That just means more Destiny Cards, which means more fun. He had to scrap most of the cards in his roster, especially those wasteful [Inventory Slot] cards, to make room for more party cards. The original Eryk would probably be very angry about it, but he hadn’t heard from that guy in a really long time, so he decided he gave no shits.

He is a little bit unsure of why he has [413 DP] right now, because he doesn’t remember earning that many, but maybe he did it during one of the parties.

“I’m lovin’ it,” he says to himself as the take finishes, with all the enemy soldiers dispatched completely. The director screams and roars in joy about the amazing sequence that has just been wrapped up in a single day of filming, but once again, Eryk does not particularly care about that fact. They run over to him and congratulate him on his spectacular performance.

“Have it your way,” he tells the crew. But really, all he wonders is, where’s the beef? What’s the point beyond the money and the invites to the parties and all the easy Destiny Points? Was this truly the path to heroism?

Wait, nevermind. Who cares about being a hero when you can smoke weed in the bathroom of some B-list celebrity’s mansion?

This is the best five days of Clone Eryk’s entire existence.