《Duality》1. Heroes/Villains 3
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Home was a tedious exercise for me. It had moved around considerably for me over the years, and my most recent home had only been lived in for about six weeks. It was hard to feel grounded when you move around too much, I’d found. Then there was the fact that I barely knew who I was living with.
Kathrine was the well meaning woman who looked older than she was thanks to the stresses of life. She was the only parent in the house, and had the wrinkles and greying hair to show for it. I imagine me being hospitalised hadn’t helped with that. What I wanted to ask her about tonight probably wasn’t going to help much either.
Living under her care were four foster kids, myself and three young girls. The youngest was Alice, who was five, the next oldest was Sofiya at nine, and the eldest of the three was Marie, who was twelve. Not the most ideal living situation more me considering I was more than three times Alice’s age, but there hadn’t been anywhere else for a refugee like me to go. Needless to say, it wasn’t a very quiet house most of the time.
When I got home I let the door drift shut behind me and just stood for a moment, eyes shut and chin tilted up. There was a spontaneous urge to flare my arms to my sides and do something to make the moment more dramatic, but I quelled it. I enjoyed being dramatic, but I also believed in moderation.
The rest of the interview with Orcus had been very efficient. He had resumed speaking the way he normally did and spent the next twenty minutes pumping me for information. By the time we said goodbye he had my name, phone number, current address and the contact details of Kathrine. He had ended the meeting by telling me that if Kathrine didn’t contact him by the end of tomorrow, he would contact her. So I had until then if I wanted to be the one to break the news.
From the screeches, the music, and the sound of a knife on a chopping board coming from the living room, Kathrine was cooking at the moment.
“Michael, is that you?!” Kathrine called when the door finally shut, raising her voice to project from the next room.
“That’s me.” I replied as I pulled my shoes off and went towards the noise. I didn’t try and compete with it though. Someone was playing pop music too loudly, and there were occasional overly positive “Great Job!” and “You did it!” mixed in.
Kathrine stepped away from her cooking to greet me. “How was the movie? Marie, turn that down!”
There was complaining, but the volume dropped a little. Enough that I could talk across the room. The living room in this house was conjoined with the kitchen. There was no dining table to speak of, but there was an island between the cooking space and the living space. Most meals were eaten on the couch, and there was a screen that had a very familiar adult baby on it, but it was muted.
Alice and Marie were each on their own couch. Marie was on her phone, and had the speaker right next to her. She was scowling at Kathrine, but soon engrossed herself with whatever it was twelve year olds did online. Alice had commandeered the tablet and was probably playing some app to completion. She didn’t even glance up when I entered.
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Kathrine was cooking as she did every night, which meant enough food with enough variety to please four different kids. She was able to change it up as well, I’d heard complaints from Marie about being made to eat meals she didn’t like, but so far there had been nothing about having one meal too often.
Sofiya was standing half behind Kathrine and was holding a messy knife loosely by her side in the one hand I could see. Likely, it was her turn to help Kathrine cooking, and was waiting to be told what to do after finishing one task. She had her red hair tied up but a stray hair was still loose. Sofiya tucked it behind her ear before she waved at me with the knife. No smile. No words. I waved back.
Of all the women in the house I lived in, Sofiya was the one I felt closest to. If only because we had similar stories leading us to this place. A muted, wordless greeting fit right in for us.
“How was the movie?” Kathrine asked again.
I went to sit at the island. “Um... I didn’t actually see a movie. Could we talk about something later?”
“Oh! Don’t put your laptop there.” Kathrine said. I paused with my bag half unzipped. “Sofya’s freed me up to do dessert earlier than I thought I would. This space is about to become quite full. Sofiya dear, cut the potatoes. They’re right next to the chopping board.”
“Fair.” The zip on my bag went back up and I looked around the room for another place to put myself.
Sofiya nodded slightly and turned to her next task.
“Are you making cake!?” Marie shouted from the other side of the room.
“For dessert, honey! And you can kiss it goodbye if you don’t eat your dinner.” Kathrine told her, earning some grumbling. “What is it you want to talk about?”
“Something private.” I replied, simultaneously realising I didn’t want to be saying this out loud with three other nosey girls in the room. “I’m going upstairs. Let me know when dinner’s ready.”
Sofiya watched me leave.
“I’ll call you down!” Kathrine called after me.
“When dinner is ready, please! Not five minutes before!” I yelled back.
The room I’d been given was still pretty bare despite the fact that I was here to stay. There was enough space for a desk and bed while still leaving a fair amount of floor space clear. There was a closet built into a wall, and I had a decent sized window which gave a view of Lake Shane. I dumped my bag and went to the bathroom. I didn’t use it. Rather, I stood in front of the mirror.
Orcus had asked me to drop my mask at the end of the interview. He already knew my address and the identity of my guardian, and from there it wouldn’t be hard to identify me, so I had no reason to keep it up. When I dropped the mask, I inadvertently dropped all instances of my power I had active as well. Each and every one of my bruises had become visible, though I’d quickly touched up the spots I knew were visible. Orcus probably noticed, but he didn’t say anything if he did.
My control over that part of my power had always been… shaky wasn’t the right word. Blunt fit more, but wasn’t absolutely right. In comparison, my telekinesis had quickly become an afterthought. Locking the chair had forced Orcus to pull out a lot of his strength to overcome it, and I could easily recall how much force he’d put out before I’d let it go. Going back to the tagging ability, I’d quickly realised that each different colour required that I think differently when applying the power.
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To put it simply, what I’d put on to disguise my face and bruises didn’t come naturally. Now, looking at myself, I let it drop once again.
I still had a yellow splotch on my right cheek. My skin wasn’t pale like it had been on the day of the beating, but I was still paler than I probably should be. My black hair and naturally stuck up at the front and curved to one side, accentuating a widows peak. It was neat, but the natural messiness of the rest of my head ruined the look. I wore one piece of jewelry, a green glass bead set in a silver stud on my right earlobe.
There were bags under my eyes that had grown both larger and darker after my stay in hospital despite the extended period of rest. My eyes were a mix between blue and green. Normally two bright colours, but when put together like they were on my face became a dull mix that was neither deep nor striking. What I lingered on the most was my nose. It was upturned, and unless I had my face angled down an uncomfortable amount my nostrils were always on display. It often felt like the nose made it harder for me to get taken seriously.
I closed my eyes and leaned forwards until my forehead met the mirror. The cold surface touching my skin brought back the memory of me against the wall as my aggressor walked away. My fists clenched, and I stayed like that, letting the memory run its course. When I finally left, I went back into my room and started setting up the charger for my laptop. I was aware of a twenty dollar note sitting on my desk. It was somewhat crumpled, and had a speck of my blood on it covering Jackson’s eye. It was the one I’d been given after he had beat me up.
I don’t know why exactly I still had it. The paramedics must have thought it was mine and put it with the rest of my possessions. I’d found it in my bag and had placed it where it was now when I got home after the discharge. Honestly, I wanted to get back at that guy. The twenty dollars served as a reminder. Though I’d spend the shit out of it if money got tight.
Serious thoughts out of the way, I surfed the internet until dinner was ready.
Dinner went as it normally did. Kathrine called me down five minutes before dinner was ready to serve. So I went back upstairs until it was actually ready. Kathrine went around the table asking everyone about their days. When it came to my turn I gave the standard noncommittal answers and didn’t actually explain anything. I could tell it was making Kathrine curious. After dinner was done Kathrine told everyone it would be twenty minutes until desert would be served and we went into her office.
Kathrine actually had quite an impressive house. It was two stories, and had a decent amount of land, within which was a pool, it was in a nice neighborhood, and her office was larger than my room. I wasn’t sure exactly how Kathrine afforded it, but that wasn’t what we were here to talk about. The office itself had full bookcases along two opposite walls. There was the expected desk which had a glass top along with a chair, as well as two couches that faced each other and a coffee table between them. Behind the desk was a set of glass doors that went to a balcony.
Now that I thought about it, this was the first time I’d been let in here. Kathrine closed the door behind me and leaned against one of the couches. I stood in the opposite side of the room and fidgeted with my hands.
”So.” I said.
“Hmm?” Kathrine prompted with a nod.
“Sorry, this isn’t the easiest thing for me. Um..”
“Take your time.” She said.
“Well, it’s been, like, two months so I thought… I don’t know. There’s something I want to do.” I stumbled through the half baked thoughts. This felt like a tactical error.
Kathrine nodded, patient.
I continued. “But before I can- You know what? No. Uhh…”
“Is this to do with Salt La-” Kathrine started asking.
“No!” I cut her off. “Well, not quite. Should I just say it? It’s the first time I’ve done this. Kind of.”
“I think you should, for your own sanity.”
Damnit, she was right. And I needed her permission to be an active Sentry. If I didn’t tell her, here and now, about my powers she sure as hell wasn’t going to trust me going forward. This was my one chance to ask her permission.
But. Then again. Hell wasn’t really all that sure.
I’m a transhuman and I want to join the Sentry.
I thought of the word Orcus used in the hall. It seemed to fit. Could I just say that? Kathrine was patient, but like any parent, I could see was a limit to that patience. I was beginning to get close to that limit.
“I don’t really have the words.” I confessed. “I- Fuck.”
“Micheal.” Kathrine had a warning tone.
“I’ve been given until tomorrow to ask for your permission for something.”
“Is it school related?”
“No. More like work.”
“Like work?” Kathrine repeated. Incredulous didn’t even begin to describe it.
“No. Yes. I don’t know what to say.”
Kathrine gave a small sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose briefly. She looked me in the eye with a sorrowful expression.
“Michael. I know the circumstances you came here under. You’re not the only one to have came here after a Calamity. I know what that kind of loss does to people. I’ve seen it, nurtured it, and helped people get back on their feet so they can live a good life-”
“Yeah. Except I’ve already been there, done that, and ended up right back where I started. I’m familiar with the world changing, Kathrine. That wasn’t my first time.” I snapped. I wish. I kept my fucking spineless mouth shut and let Kathrine finish.
“There’s anger inside you. That’s fine, it’s in the rest of us as well. While we may not have experienced the same disaster as you have, that doesn’t mean it’s right for you to throw your life away.” Kathrine finished.
My eyes narrowed. That last part sounded like she was insinuating she knew what this was all about. When she met my gaze, it told me all I needed to know.
“Orcus?” I chanced.
Kathrine breathed, tension washing from her shoulders. “Yes, dummy. Of course. This is a matter of your safety. You. A minor. I was informed the first time you contacted the Regulation”
“So much for secret.” That had compromised my identity on a scale I was not happy with.
“You can’t have it both ways, Michael.”
“What have they told you?”
“Not much, but Orcus did call when you were on your way home. He said he was impressed with your powers, but was worried about your mental state. And to be frank, so am I.”
I had to distract myself from that one. Clenching my fist only did so much. One hand shot up to fidget with my piercing.
“How many friends have you made since coming here?” Kathrine asked.
It took me a moment to get my head around the curveball. “One, I guess. But aren’t enemies more healthy as drives? Because I’ve also got one of those.”
Kathrine jabbed a finger into my shoulder. “That. That’s exactly what has us worried. You have a total disregard for social connection. Therefore I have no idea how well you’re actually coping, at least no more than I did two weeks ago. Before you were put into hospital. I can’t consent to putting your in danger like that.”
“I’m actually coping pretty well now that I have something to strive for.” I sighed. “But if you’re going to get in the way of that, then I’ll just have to find something else to put this newfound energy into.”
Kathrine met my eyes. I didn’t back down.
I ended up adding. “Was I supposed to count people in this house, by the way? Because then it’s two.”
“Really?” That had caught her off guard. She had been gearing up to say something. Probably a hard no. Good thing I opened my mouth. “Why didn’t you say?”
I shrugged. “Because I’m really bad at this stuff. Horrendously so. I’m utterly, tragically, and disastrously bad at talking about private stuff. Let alone feelings.”
“But you’re trying. You’re showing that much.” Kathrine hummed, looking at me with a purely happy expression. It was off putting in a way I wasn’t used to. “I’ll let you have a trial run, then. Michael. On two conditions.”
“Being?”
“I reserve the right to pull you from the Sentry at any time.” She said with one finger extended.
I rolled my eyes. That much was a given.
Kathrine extended another finger, then spread her arms. “And you need to give me a hug right now.”
“That’s not-” I faltered. Kathrine wasn’t going to be cordial if I said no, and it didn’t matter how much I wanted to avoid physical contact. At least for her. I ceded the point, and awkwardly stepped into the embrace.
My sixth sense wasn’t necessary for me to stay aware of Kathrine’s arms moving across my back, but that was fine because of my long sleeves. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop Kathrine from pressing her head against mine, and through that I could feel it all.
One of the drawbacks of having a sixth sense was that I couldn’t stop the information coming through. Normally when I touched something I got the basic information about how that thing was moving. Most of the time things weren’t moving, but I could still feel gravity and such. It was the same with people, and at the same time it couldn’t be more different.
A brick is a brick. There isn’t much happening with it. There’s gravity constantly pulling it down and it generates friction when it’s slid across the ground. “Fun” stuff from a boring physics class, and that’s both the start and end of it. On the other hand there is a lot more going on with a person’s body that my power tells me about.
Each muscle adds a force to the body. Each bone reacts to it. There’s surface tension on the skin, blood constantly flowing through the body, and whatever was eaten over the past day going through the process of being digested. Each adding uncountable forces that, while small, I was still informed of. It forced a degree of invasive intimacy on me whenever I had skin to skin contact. I stiffened and did my best to ignore the mental images.
The work involved in simply trying to do that made the minute or two that the hug lasted drag on at a horribly slow pace. When Kathrine finally released me I couldn’t stop myself from breathing a sigh of relief.
“Was that really so bad?” Kathrine asked with genuine concern.
Yes! “Uhh. My power… changes the way I interpret things.” I pointed my probably red face away from Kathrine.
“Well. You gave me the hug, so I can’t complain now can I?
“I’ll take it. Thanks.”
“It’s been six weeks, you could call me mom.” She chided with a smile.
Something tightened within me. “It’s been ten weeks.”
Kathrine’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry?”
That had been too much. I purposefully turned and opened the door. “Don’t worry about it.” I left the room before Kathrine could follow up and went down to desert.
One thing I noticed that night was how Sofiya was watching me. Normally we gave each other space, and held back from adding to the noise while we ate. But she stared at me for most of the time unrelentingly, even when I challenged her stare. Sofiya’s expression was far from telling, unchanging even when I met her gaze
Afterwards I tried to talk to her, but she disappeared upstairs before I could get anything out. An idle thought came unbidden, and laid claim to my attention: that the nine year old had listened in to the conversation between Kathrine and me. If that was true then that was something that needed to be addressed.
When it came to heroes, Sofiya didn’t have much to say. Though, when she did deign to say something on the matter, it was never in a positive light. Me joining the Sentry probably wasn’t going to be well received by her, but that wasn’t about to stop me. I’d have to talk to her about that, before she told anyone else.
That would be the best case scenario. But the best case scenario barely ever came to pass, didn’t it?
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