"You have glitter on your face," Diego said.

"Still? This stuff is impossible," Sam muttered as she pulled on Diego's hands, forcing him forward into an assisted stretch as their feet provided counter pressure.

"Easy, Samantha, I'm hung over."

"I keep telling you it's Sam, and you aren't old enough to be served alcohol."

"I didn't buy the drinks. The guys kept putting things in front of me. I'm like a mascot or something. Their lucky undocumented immigrant."

Sam rolled her eyes in response. Diego would not have been her partner of choice. Unfortunately, Jess had gone gaga for Srinivas. Presumably the two of them had done the deed the previous night while the rest of them were at the gentlemen's club marinating in glitter and heavy perfume. Jess hadn't even asked for an update on what the club experience was like. Sam assumed she would be on her own for a few weeks before Jess came down from the new relationship high. Hopefully she came down from it this time. Srinivas was a lot nicer than the typical Jess-boyfriend.

Diego broke her train of thought with a question. "Does the ladies room have an actual shower?"

"Shower, sauna, bathroom attendant, we've got it all."

"I was just thinking there wasn't enough sarcasm around here," Diego said. "Anyway, the amenities around here suck."

"It's got to be better than a jail cell. You shouldn't expect things to improve once we get to the arctic either. Based on what I've been overhearing, it's going to be a tent city." Sam glanced towards Mike. Her fellow centurion was very obviously ignoring the interplay between Kendra, Jimmy, and Erica. There was more hooking up happening here than anywhere else she had ever been. When she wasn't willfully ignorant, Sam couldn't help but notice some of the middle-aged men joked around with her in a less than innocent fashion. Ironically, Diego had been the safest available partner for stretching that morning. He might let his eyes wander when he thought he wasn't being watched, but the closest he came to flirting was using her formal name no matter how many times she corrected him. Which she could tell was going to be a thing. If she stopped doing the "call me Sam" thing, Diego might misinterpret that as some kind of signal.

Her attention went to the door, through which she could see Imperator Stateira Cassandane sniffing an open bag of loose leaf while steeping a cup of tea. The fun of that particular revelation had not worn off yet. If you looked past all the professional distance, the signs had been there all along that something was happening. The crush might not be mutual, she knew. Cassandane was hard to read and Sam knew as well as any woman that being friends with a guy didn't suggest a desire for anything more. Still, an awkard romance between a brutish military subordinate and a socially ostracized genius would be great entertainment. It would essentially be a real-life rehash of the show Bones, only with superpowered terrorists instead of murder mysteries.

Mike clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "All right, everyone, that's enough for today. Breakfast is ready in the hall. Be in uniform for formation at oh eight hundred. A friendly reminder for those of you new to the military lifestyle: if you're not five minutes early, you're late. Attention. Fall out."

Diego followed on Sam's heels as she went towards the line for whatever Cassandane had picked for their meal, which turned out to be bagels and fruit. She skipped all of that to get a bowl of Lucky Charms. Someone had begun stocking alternate meal options as it became obvious over time that their group did not have a cohesive palate. To avoid sitting alone with her shadow, Sam sat next to Erica. The woman squinted at her. "You have glitter on your face."

Sam grimaced. "Ski paid a woman to her chest into my face. It's a story I'm getting really tired of telling."

"Get used to repeating yourself if you're going to be in a military organization," Erica said. "Some days that will be the only thing you accomplish."

"Yay, Army life . . . ." Sam took a moment to savor flavored marshmallows before gesturing with her spoon, "do army people always date each other like this?"

"Sadly, yes," Erica said. "If you have a group living and working together without a lot of opportunity to socialize outside, people are going to be people. On top of that, the kind of person who signs up to put their life on the line can be a little impulsive."

"Great, the rest of my life is going to be like an episode of ER, except the guys aren't hot or rich."

"The rest of your life will also be short if you talk bad about my show like that," Erica said.

"Oh my God, I just realized you're closer to my mom's age than mine."

Diego looked up from his bagel. "I never watched any of the doctor shows. They were never about practicing medicine, it was just normal life stuff happening to people who were doctors."

Erica raised a brow. "And now I'm curious what kind of show you did watch. Other than Dora the Explorer."

"Uh, I watched some unusual stuff growing up."

"Porn?" "Telenovelas?" Erica and Sam spoke on top of one another, shared an amused look, and turned their attention back to Diego.

"Musicals."

"That's about as boring of an answer as you could give," Erica said. "I'm almost afraid to ask which one was your favorite."

"The Sound of Music. I had a big family with a bossy dad, so I could relate to the characters. Plus I had a major crush on Julie Andrews."

Sam snorted. "The nun? You realize she's like really old, right?"

"Maybe he's into that," Erica said.

"She wasn't that old when the movie was made," Diego said. "Anyway, I don't think watching doctor shows is any better."

"Were you in a lot of plays growing up?"

Diego shook his head seriously as he answered Erica. Maybe too seriously. "I never wanted to sing myself."

"Sure you didn't."

Sam sighed dramatically to get their attention and forestall any more of their back-and-forth. "I miss television. I dedicated so many hours to my pop culture education." Jess would have rejoined with some lively banter at that point if she wasn't off with her new boyfriend. The two people keeping her company said nothing and it soon became apparent that Sam had killed the conversation.

She finished her Lucky Charms and then ran off to the bathroom to get a bird bath in the sink before work started for the day.