The row of judges faded away behind me, and I walked on the empty carpet for a short while. The pack on my back tugged at me, making my steps falter at times. By the time the next group of judges appeared, I was breathing heavily. I tried once to adjust the pack, but my hands passed through the straps.

“David Jinn,” the first Malak said, “why have you come to us?”

I blinked. The question caught me off guard, and I stared at the judges. Something made them appear older, more mature than the last group. They looked at me expectantly.

“I, um, need to see the Zaeim Aljiniy,” I said.

The Malak lowered his head, and a weight plunked into my pack.

“David Jinn,” the Shaytan opposite the Malak said, “why have you come to us?”

“I just answered that,” I said. “I need to see the Zaeim Aljiniy.” The Shaytan started to lower her head. “Wait. What do you want from me?”

“Why have you come to us?” the Shaytan repeated.

I thought about the question. What was the whole reason I was here? The judge sat with a patient expression, and I tried to organize my thoughts. They were here to judge me, and I didn’t think to tell them I was here for vengeance would count much in my favor. Then again, wasn’t my anger justified?

“Because it’s the only way to save Em,” I said. “And I want the fuckers responsible to pay.”

The Shaytan lowered her head, but no weight fell. I stepped forward, and the next two judges turned to me. I tried to walk past them. The carpet acted like some kind of sadistic treadmill. I was definitely moving, the weight of the pack tiring me more and more with each step, but I never left the spot where I’d been standing. I gave up and stopped.

The Malak on the left looked much like Haliniel had. The Shaytan, however, had the upper body of a succubus and the lower body of a Satyr. What kind of demented god would force that combination on someone? They raised their hands to my head, and I tried to move away. It was no use. My body was rigid, and when they touched me, everything disappeared.

I was in a strange house, sitting at a long table. A man sat at the head, and five other boys filled the remaining seats. They were all eating and seemed in a hurry to finish the meal. The man looked up at me.

“Randall,” he said, “did you hear Josh was accepted into Harvard?”

One of the boys preened, and the man favored him with an approving look. The other boys offered their congratulations but never stopped eating.

“If only you’d turned out like him,” the man continued. His voice and expression oozed disappointment. “I’ve told you a hundred times, boy. You’ve got to take life by the throat and make it give you what you want. But you’re too weak for that, ain’t you?”

I shrank away from the hatred in the man’s voice.

“That’s right,” the man said, “look away. To think, one of my boys, a coward.”

The scene changed, and I was walking along a dirt path. I was so angry and humiliated, I wanted to lash out, to prove I wasn’t the coward my father thought I was. Then I saw little David Jinn walking ahead of me. I knew how his parents doted on him. He always had the newest clothes, games, anything he wanted. A sudden rush of jealousy filled me, and I ran up behind him. The little prick didn’t know how good he had it. I shoved him to the ground and kicked dirt onto him. His sobbing protests egged me on.

When I got to school, I wasted no time telling my friends about the incident. They laughed and clapped me on the back, and I soaked up the adulation. My friends knew I wasn’t a coward. I was someone to be feared and respected.

We teamed up on stinky the rest of the day, and when the last bell rang, I rushed outside. I knew where he’d be waiting for his parents to pick him up. I wanted one more chance to vent my rage and frustration.

The scene changed again. I was lying in a hospital bed, and my brothers hovered over me, looking concerned. My father stood at the foot of the bed, scowling.

“Beat up by a nine-year-old,” he said. “I just can’t believe it.”

Tears fell in torrents as the hall of judgment came back into focus. How could my father be so cold? No…no, that wasn’t my father. My father was a kind man. Wasn’t he? I shook my head, trying to get rid of the memory of that man’s disappointment. It took a long time to come back to myself.

“Even the bully had his reasons,” the Malak said.

“We all have our reasons,” the Shaytan said.

I wilted under their scrutiny. The shame of that day came back to me tenfold. Randal hadn’t been an evil kid. He was just trying to be what he thought his dad wanted. His twelve-year-old mind wasn’t equipped to analyze his actions beyond trying to please the one person every boy desperately wants approval from. The heaviest weight yet dropped into my pack, and my knees buckled as the two judges lowered their heads. I stumbled forward.

This time I sat on a couch in a small living room. My kids sat at my side as a cop explained that Mike wasn’t coming home. We’d always known this was a possibility, but nothing ever really prepares you to face it. The cop didn’t go into details, just explained that Mike was working on the recent attacks and got caught in a firefight. His body, they said, was still in the wreckage of an apartment building, but they’d make sure it got recovered. It was the least they could do.

“Find who did this,” I said. I wasn’t crying or hysterical, just numb. “Find who did this and make them pay. Don’t arrest them, kill them.”

“Mrs. Rawlins…Kelly,” the cop said, “we can’t promise that.”

“My husband is dead!” My calm mask slipped. “I want the bastards responsible dead too.”

“Is her anger any less righteous?” the Malak said.

I jerked my head from side to side. I was back in the hall.

“Will you grant her vengeance when she comes for it?” the Shaytan said.

I scrabbled away from the words. Kelly Rawlins had every reason to hate me. In fact, she had more reason to hate me than she knew. I’d pulled Rawlins into that fight. He had virtually no chance against Haliniel, I knew it, and I pulled him in anyway. Sure, I was acting on Em’s wish, but I hadn’t really considered any other options. More weight dropped into the pack. I tried to get to my feet, but the load was too heavy.

The next two judges came into view. I didn’t want to see what they had to show, so I kept crawling. They bent their heads low and let me pass. More weight fell on me, but I didn’t dare stop. My hands slid across the carpet as I tried to pull myself forward. The weight of my sins actively pulled against me. The skin on my palms split and left long streaks of blood as, inch by inch, I pulled away.

By the time the next group of judges came into view, I had almost no strength left. My hands and knees were a bloody mess, and I’d long since stopped feeling the pain. All I wanted was for this to be over. The carpet got wider, and a door sat to one side as I drew level with the first two judges. I could see another door farther down.

“You can make it stop,” a Malak said.

“It can all end here,” the Shaytan said.

Their words put a little fire back into me. Taking that door was tantamount to committing suicide. Did I have it in me to reach the next one, though? I gathered what courage I had left. I might be a miserable, evil person, but I wasn’t weak, and I wouldn’t take the easy way out. I forced myself to move forward. With agonizing slowness, the next door moved closer to me.

“Yes,” the Malak said, “this is where you belong.”

“You are worthy of nothing else,” the Shaytan said.

Oh, bullshit. Another door lay before me, and I made for it. I was worth more than an eternity in Aljahim, that much was certain. Come to think of it, I wasn’t really evil either. I’d made some mistakes and hurt people, but never without reason. Were my reasons invalid just because someone else disagreed with them? I looked as far forward as I could. Five more doors dotted the carpet. I knew the last was the path out of this place and back to reality. I set my sights on it and ignored the words of all the judges.

Each door I passed seemed to make its own appeal for my attention. The unspoken promises got more and more grandiose and desperate. It made my course more certain. I was what I was, and that didn’t make me a bad person. Yes, there were people with good reason to hate me if you looked at it from their point of view. But, I was under no obligation to do that, nor were they required to see things from my perspective. I didn’t have to feel good about myself, just accept who I was.

I reached the second to last door and dropped to my stomach. I needed to rest. The weight of the pack bore down on me, making it hard to draw breath. It seemed accepting who I was meant admitting my guilt. Fucking assholes. I didn't think it was a coincidence that I’d collapsed here. A mere twenty feet lay between me and the exit.

The last two judges loomed over me, and I recognized them. The Malak on the left stood tall and pale. His slender frame was adorned in silver robes that glowed faintly. The light emanated from a moon emblazoned on his chest. It was Khonsu. I couldn’t see the features of the Shaytan next to Khonsu. A single point of light radiated from it, blindingly brilliant. Ra.

“You need not go any farther,” Khonsu said. His voice was kind and understanding. “Everything you desire is behind that door.”

“I doubt it,” I croaked.

Khonsu knelt and cupped my chin in his hand. A coldness spread through my body. The long-forgotten ache in my hands and knees came back, then vanished in a flash. I felt hale, the weight of my past lifted from me. He helped me to my feet.

“You did not ask for any of this,” Khonsu said. “You only want to be with your beloved. She waits for you.”

I looked at the door farther down the path. It would lead me back to reality, but there were no guarantees there. I might be able to save Em, or I might not. Either way, I was sure there would be more pain, more strife. Did I have the right to make that choice for Em? She seemed genuinely happy in Aaru.

There was more to it, though. This wasn’t just about Em and me. What about Rockslide? What kind of life would I be condemning him to if I stayed here? What would Jinn do in her quest to die without me there to stop her? I wanted to be with Em for eternity, but like it or not, want it or not, I had responsibilities.

Khonsu smiled. “You are starting to see past yourself. You, more than any creature in the world, must always be aware of the big picture. The balance is literally in your hands.”

“Genie’s First Law,” I said.

“Genie’s First Law,” Khonsu echoed. “David Jinn, I judge you worthy.”

“Proceed!” Ra boomed.

The weight of the pack returned, and I slammed into the ground. My cuts and bruises were still healed, but moving was a chore. The chamber shook, and pieces of stone fell to the floor. Khonsu and Ra vanished, as did the door next to me. I only had one chance. I crawled desperately forward.

A chunk of limestone landed in front of me and shattered. Shrapnel ripped at my face. I wiped the blood out of my eyes. Gobbets of flesh clung to my hand as I rubbed, my face stung, but I never took my eyes off the door. More stone fell. I went around the smaller pieces and clambered over the bigger ones. The room was almost completely gone when I placed a single finger on the door. I disappeared in a brilliant flash of light.