The idyllic fields of Aaru gave way to less hospitable terrain as we walked. Patches of course sand started to appear, creating voids within the reeds. Em hadn’t spoken the entire time we walked, and now her light faded a little. The patches of sand became more frequent until we found ourselves at the edge of an expansive desert.

The sun hung high in the sky, and a heat haze rose from the ground. Despite this, I didn’t feel any warmer than before. A long winding valley ran through an impassible labyrinth of giant sand dunes. Loud screeching broke the silence, and I swallowed at the sight of vultures high in the air. They seemed all too eager to land if only we would do them the honor of dying. I turned around with the idea of going back to Aaru, but behind us lay only more desert.

“I guess we follow the yellow brick road,” I said.

“No munchkins,” Rockslide said, a little disappointed.

What the fuck? Just how much T.V. did he watch? He looked expectantly at the dunes like he was waiting for a group of singing little people to jump out at any moment. Em’s light flashed violently, and she fell to the ground.

“Laugh it up, light bulb,” I said.

Rockslide harrumphed, which sounded like two pieces of granite slamming into one another.

“Come on,” I said.

We entered the valley, and the ground changed from loose sand to limestone paving stones. The sand dunes loomed over us, blocking the bulk of the sunlight. Small insects fled from our footsteps, while barely perceptible creatures lurked within the scattered shadows.

“Hey, Rockslide,” I said. “Can you sculpt this sand into anything?”

“Of course,” he said. He gathered a handful of sand and started molding it into a ball in his fist.

“Wait, dammit,” I said. “I haven't told you what I want.”

“Oh,” he said. Already, the sand looked like two misshapen humanoids. He dropped the blobs to the ground. “What dost thou wish?”

“Dude,” I said. “You’re either with the times or not. Make up your mind.”

Rockslide’s mouth hung open, so I decided to drop it. He couldn’t help how he talked. I was just glad he was starting to get my references. That would, hopefully, cut down on the misunderstandings.

“Do you know what a Kopesh is?” I asked. His blank stare told me that, no, he did not know what a Kopesh was. “It’s like a cross between a sickle and a sword.”

I found a patch of loose sand and drew a crude picture of what I wanted. Rockslide watched for a few seconds. He moved my hand aside gently and continued the drawing. Whereas I was a third-grader making macaroni art, he was Michelangelo creating the sisting chapel. Somehow, his stubby fingers traced beautiful fine lines in the sand, managing to develop depth and exquisite detail.

“This,” he said when he was done, “is a weapon worthy of mine overlord.”

Okay…I guess I’m Rockslide’s overlord now. Whatever. To get to the Hall of Ma’at, we had to pass the Trial of Montu. I had a sneaking suspicion the war god would find a confined, indefensible valley the perfect place to set up shop.

“Two of them,” I said. “If it’s not too much trouble,” I amended when Rockslide groaned.

“Yes, Karen,” he said.

Holy shit! Sarcasm and memes in the same sentence. I’d always kind of thought of him as dimwitted and naïve. He was the second to be sure, but naivete didn’t translate to stupid. I would do well to remember that in case he ever got tired of my snark.

He didn’t offer any more complaints. Instead, he walked to one of the dunes and grabbed a handful of sand. I watched as sand slipped through his fingers as if through an hourglass. After a few seconds, he moved to a paving stone and blew it clean. His breath was powerful and charged with heat. Not like a dragon or anything, but hot enough to smooth the stone flat. He placed a small pile of sand onto the ground and went back to the dune.

I examined the sand he’d deemed worthy enough to keep. It was all the same color, and I guessed it was the same mineral. He came back while I was hovering over the pile and shooed me away. Apparently, being overlord didn’t count for much. I sat down and stayed out of my vassal’s way.

He must have made hundreds of trips to the dune, and when he was done, he had several piles of different colored minerals. I sat in the shade and tried to stay awake. Falling asleep in the Duat was not a good idea. Fortunately, Rockslide made staying awake much easier.

He transformed into his kill everything form. I jumped up, looking for whatever danger he’d spotted, but couldn’t see anything. Then he rested his left arm on the ground and slammed it with his other hand. I’d heard workers blasting a quarry once. It didn’t come close to how loud this was. Vultures screeched, the barely perceived creatures in the shadows fled, and Rockslide howled.

“What the hell!” I shouted.

Orange fluid already covered Rockslide’s mangled arm, and large chunks of ruby lay on the ground. He transformed back into his adorable self and sat down.

“Only the best for mine overlord,” he said, gathering the ruby into a pile. “Malak use steel. Weak.”

He sounded offended at the very notion of metal being used as weapons. Thinking back to the fight with Haliniel, I was on his side. That sword hadn’t been very effective against Rockslide.

I watched my pet demon as he combined the ruby and sand into two long, thin mounds. He ran his hand across them, and they started to melt. His motions were slow, and I noticed that, while the rest of him was his old self, his hands were still covered in a boney carapace and smoldering.

He stroked until the colors combined, and the sand solidified. He picked up one of the blanks and examined it minutely. He must have found some flaw because his hand heated up again, and he rubbed the blank in a few places. When he was satisfied, he repeated the process with the other one.

Em floated over him, just as enraptured as I was as his work. He twisted and turned the weapons in his hands, alternating between the two, and occasionally adding bits of ruby or sand. I never saw him do anything that resembled sculpting. The semi-molten glass just flowed as he worked. With viper-like speed, he thrust the weapons into a large pile of bright sand. I heard small explosions as the crystals vaporized next to the heat of the blades.

Rockslide pulled the Kopeshes out and ran them across his thigh. I winced at the scraping noise. In quick succession, he had both blades polished. I took the first from him and nearly broke down.

The dark ruby hilt was a copy of Em’s statue back at my apartment. I wrapped my hand around it, and every contour fit perfectly in my grip. A tiny handguard sat atop Em’s head. It was a delicate circle of yellow stone and looked like a halo. The blade curved outward, and the spine was the same dark ruby. Multi-colored striations followed the contour of the blade and ended in a perfectly clear edge.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said, my voice trembling.

Rockslide handed me the second Kopesh. It was just as beautiful, and I felt a little ashamed that my reaction wasn’t as extreme. The hilt was fashioned after Rockslide. His arms rose above his head, and his hands extended outward, forming the tiny handguard. It was both a defensive and supplicative pose. The message was clear. Em was my angel, Rockslide was my demon, and I was to wield them however I saw fit. I doubted Em would agree with that sentiment.

As for her, her soul levitated near both blades. Her light was subdued, but it didn’t have the same feel as when we’d left Aaru. It seemed reverent. I looked into Rockslide’s eyes and saw uncertainty. It hurt to see how eager he was to please me. Nobody should ever be forced to idolize another like that.

“Rockslide,” I said slowly. “I release you from your oath.”

Rockslide’s shoulders slumped, and I swear I saw orange fluid well at the corners of his eyes. A crying demon? You’ve got to be kidding me.

“And vow,” I continued, “that from this day until my death that we are equals. You deserve more than to be anyone’s vassal.”

The pearlescent link between us dissolved. A bright red cord materialized next to a gold one and twisted together. My legs buckled as the cord connected to me, and I saw Rockslide fall to his knees at the same time I did. He frog-walked to me, his knees digging furrows in the soft paving stones. When we were face to face, he rested his ginormous hands on my shoulders. This time, there was no uncertainty, and his tears were evident. I’d seen confusion, rage, and hurt in him before, but never joy. It was rapturous.

“Rockslide chose well,” he said.

“Yeah, big guy,” I croaked, “I guess you did. Ready to stomp some bugs?”

Rockslide stood and transformed. The blind fury that usually accompanied this form was absent. He looked at me and smiled. Holy hell, if the Cheshire cat and a Xenomorph had a baby, it’s smile would look like that. Unsettling as fuck.

Rockslide’s artistry had to have taken hours, but the sun still hung at high noon. We tread slowly along the path, trying to stay away from the shadows, except Em. She flittered in and out of the dark patches, scaring away some beast or other from time to time. The dunes got larger until they were practically mountains. Em darted into a shadow beyond the next bend of the path and came back, pulsating erratically. Clattering footfalls followed her.

Two oversized scarab beetles clambered across the path toward us. Their jeweled eyes glowed in the dim light. Their buzzing wings and scintillating carapaces distracted me, and they were on me before I had time to react. Rockslide intercepted one of them, and the other slashed at me with its razor-sharp foreclaws.

I raised my Kopeshes and caught the attack on the underside of the blades. I knocked the claw on my offhand side away and spun the Kopesh in my right hand around. The blade’s impossibly sharp edge sliced through the appendage easily. The scarab let out a chittering cry and backed away. I advanced on it and slashed at its head with both blades. They scissored through its stubby neck, and the head fell to the ground.

I turned to help Rockslide, but there was no need. He waded, waist-deep, in the broken shell and internals of his beetle. He smashed any piece of the insect he could reach.

“It’s dead,” I yelled.

“I know,” he said but didn’t stop pulverizing the thing.

“Then, what are you doing?”

“Playing,” he said. “I have never played before.”

There was probably a lesson there, but I didn’t go looking for it. When the beetle was reduced to grit and goop, Rockslide left it, and we continued on the path. The Trial of Montu quickly became the Inconvenience of Montu. The groups of beetles got bigger the farther into the valley we traveled, but Rockslide gleefully charged at them every time. I had very little to do besides cleaning up a few stragglers. Em took to staying behind me when Rockslide would rampage.

I cut the head off one of the few remaining beetles in this latest group. A severely wounded one tried to run away, and Rockslide gave chase. It rounded a bend, and some instinct told me trouble was waiting there.

“Rockslide, stop!” I shouted.

A pulse of gold energy flashed across the link between us, and Rockslide froze, mid-step. The beetle disappeared behind a dune, but Rockslide still didn’t move. Was he fucking with me again?

“Come on back, big guy,” I said.

Another pulse of energy passed between us, and he finished his last step and came back to me as if he’d never stopped moving. Interesting. The skittering sound of the fleeing beetle stopped, and I waited for our next surprise.

And I waited. Nothing happened…surprise! I led Rockslide and Em around the dune, and my jaw dropped. The valley opened onto a massive clearing with a single mountain in its center. A road at least a mile long led to a façade carved into the mountain’s face. Guards lined the entire length, spaced only a few feet apart. The beetle sat obediently next to the first guard in the line.

Tricky little war god. We were now officially at the Hall of Ma’at. If Rockslide had attacked that beetle here, an entire army of peeved guards would have descended upon us.

“Hey buddy,” I said sweetly. “Can you change back to normal?”

No energy pulsed down the link, but Rockslide reverted to his non-hellish visage. I didn’t have anywhere to put my Kopeshes, so I held my arms to my side.

“David,” Em said. “Are you sure about this?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin. Em stood beside me. She was translucent and emitted a faint glow.

“Obi-Wan?” I said

“Get bent, nerd,” she chortled.

Tears stung my eyes. Even in this incorporeal form, she was beautiful. I tried to take her hand, but my fingers passed right through her. Her face softened, and she smiled. Anger welled up in me. The fuckers responsible all this were at the end of that road, and I wanted some goddamned vengeance.

“Yeah,” I said, my voice filled with malice. “I’m sure.”