“I wish your handcuffs to disappear,” Em said.

“Heh, good idea,” I said. I wove a few threads, and the cuffs dissolved into nothing.

“People were staring,” she said.

Em looked shaken. Hell, why wouldn’t she? I doubt she’d broken the law in her life, probably not even a speeding ticket. Now, she was a bonafide fugitive. She had a point, though. The few people going about their day aimed covert looks our way.

“We need to disappear,” I said.

“I wish us to be invisible,” Em said.

I pulled us into an alley and gathered probability around us. It looked a lot like what Jinn had done back at the bus explosion. Now that I thought about it, every time she vanished, except for then, there had been a puff of smoke. Cunning bitch. I thought she’d teleported away or something, but she’d just made herself invisible.

“How do you know how to do that stuff?” Em said.

I thought about it. “I don’t know. When someone makes a wish, I just know what to do to make it a reality. Usually in the most fucked up way possible. From there, I kind of just reverse engineer it into something less harmful.”

“So what did you learn tonight that made so, uh, pleased?”

I started walking again. “It goes back to what you said before, about you being my counter-balance. I started to think of my power like an algebra equation. As long as the equation is equal, everything’s hunky-dory.”

“I see,” Em said. She slid her hand into mine. “So, what happens to one side has to happen to the other side as well.”

“Exactly. So when I change something, I unbalance the equation. So far, I’ve let the universe fill in the other side. It seems to do it in the most efficient way and with as much malice as possible.”

I pulled her to a halt. A pile of trash lay on the ground a few feet away from a nearly empty trash can. God damned slobs. I picked it up and tossed it in the bin and saw an odd swirl of color on the other side of the street. It was unlike anything I’d seen so far. It looked like someone had spilled coffee on my beautiful painting.

“Anyway,” I continued, “you said I wasn’t to blame for Kevin’s death, but something more than guilt told me you were wrong. When I saw those fucking gawkers tonight, I wanted to hurt them. I realized I could redirect the balancing effects of your wish to them.”

Em looked hard at me. “You didn’t kill any of them, did you?”

“Jesus, no! I’m not that far gone, Em. I spread it around the whole crowd. They’re going to have a pretty shitty day, but they won’t be hurt—I think.”

The stain on reality pulled back into its alley. I had the sense it was looking directly at me.

“We should get moving,” I said. “Something’s not right.”

Em didn’t need any more prodding than that. She pulled me along the street. “I wish for you to defend yourself and me for as long as we’re bound.”

Something inside me changed. My aura refashioned itself, closing tighter around me. I felt more like I did when I was free. I tried to create the same shield I’d used against Jinn. It snapped into place with almost no effort. I let the balancing energy seep into the buildings and noted they would decay, perhaps, a few milliseconds faster than usual.

“Good thinking. I feel like I have a lot more control over my power.”

She pointed to her head, “This, and the body to go along with it.”

A feral impulse rose in me, and I wanted to take her, right here, right now. I squashed the idea. Something told me we were about to get fucked anyway, and not in a pleasant way.

The coffee stain streaked across the street and slammed into my shield. An echoing gong rang into the night. The face pressed against my shield looked like something that would give Steven King nightmares.

It was faceted like a gemstone and wept orange fluid at the edges. The occluded flesh covered bones of super-heated rock, which ended in a protruding set of gnarled fangs. The mouth hung open in an eternal scream. But it was the eyes—they were dark smoke with a blazing core hidden within their depths. This thing didn’t scare me, it didn’t give me the willies, or make my skin crawl. It destroyed me.

“Wake up,” a rumbling voice called. If a mudslide could talk, it would sound like this.

I opened my eyes but couldn’t see anything. The air smelled of sulfur and prickled my skin. My mouth tasted metallic, but it didn’t seem like the coppery taste of blood. My hands and feet had been bound, but at least I was sitting upright. I heard a noise and turned toward it. My eyes still couldn’t penetrate the oppressive darkness.

“Who’s there?” I said

“I can’t see anything,” Em said from my left side.

“Me either,” I whispered.

“You can’t?” she said. She sounded startled. “Shouldn’t you at least be able to see the threads?”

I realized she was right and suddenly felt naked and helpless. “Oh fuck.”

“All is as it will ever be in my realm,” the mudslide said.

“Uh, Em,” I said. “I think we’re kinda fucked here.”

“Was just thinking the same thing,” she said. It sounded like she was struggling against her bonds. It also seemed like she was just holding onto her composure.

“As thou art not my prey, thou art safe in my domain,” the mudslide said.

“You got a pretty shitty was of easing our troubled minds buddy,” I said

“Don’t antagonize it,” Em said.

“I shall take no offense at thy provocation,” the mudslide said. “Thou art new-born and know not the way. Prepare thine eyes.”

I closed my eyes tight. A flash of blinding light nearly seared my retinas through my eyelids, then dimmed. When I felt it was safe, I opened them again. Everything was black. Not dark, but black. I could see Em clearly, now, but that was it. I was sitting on some kind of surface but damned if I could make it out. In front of us stood the mudslide, but rockslide would have been more accurate. Its body was fashioned much like the rest of it, and it looked like a walking ruby. That is if rubies radiated diarrhea inducing fear.

“Hey, Rockslide,” I said. “How about you drop the Shakespeare routine and let us go.”

The animate gemstone laughed. “I accept thy gift.”

“What is he talking about?” Em said.

I shrugged. “The fuck if I know. Hey Rockslide, what gift?”

Rockslide sat down. “Thou hast named me.”

“Oh shit,” I said, “don’t tell me I just adopted a talking rock.”

Rockslide’s eyes blazed. “How dare thee lay claim to my soul! And for naught but a name! My soul belongs to mine overlord, and thou hast no claim!”

The shout impacted me physically. It begged to rip my being apart, and for a second, I felt like it deserved to.

“David,” Em whimpered. “Maybe cool it with the snark.”

“Uh-huh,” I said. “Sorry, uh, Rockslide. I really didn’t mean any offense. New-born, remember?”

“Thy apology is accepted,” Rockslide said. “Rockslide tis a fine name, but not worth so much as that. By what name shall I call thee?”

“I’m David, David Jinn,” I said.

Rockslide inclined its head. “And your bonded?”

“Emily Anderson,” Em said.

Something seemed off. There was an air of expectancy about Rockslide, and as my fear ebbed, I noticed small movements I hadn’t before. Its eyes twitched, and its gemstone torso vibrated. It was fidgeting.

“Is everything ok?” I asked.

I tried to look around again. Without Em or Rockslide to focus on, my head swam. My eyes ached at the strain of trying to penetrate blackness that enveloped us. I held up to the void for as long as I could but turned to face Rockslide again.

“Everything is as it should be, David, David Jinn,” Rockslide said.

What the fuck? Was this thing fucking with me? “It’s just David or David Jinn.” When the thing didn’t respond, I tried again. “Just call me David.”

“Very well,” Rockslide said.

Ok, moving right along, I thought. “Nice place you got here, by the way. I especially like the fart-fresh scent. It pairs well with the burning, itching skin.”

Rockslide harumphed. “Tis kind of thee to say. Thine kin do not often find mine abode hospitable.”

“Okay,” I said.

“I don’t think it understands sarcasm,” Em said. “Just like you don’t understand when to shut up.”

“Of course not,” a voice said. The only way to describe it was angelic. “You are both young and have much to learn.”

A bright white humanoid floated down to us on white feathered wings. It was naked, androgynous, and impossibly beautiful. Rockslide cowered at its approach, and I had the distinct urge to kneel. Em obviously felt the same, because she actually did kneel.

“Haliniel, it is good to see thou hast come through the veil unharmed,” Rockslide said. His tone said the last thing he wished for Haliniel was continued good health.

Haliniel landed, and its wings folded behind its back. It surveyed the three of us, its gorgeous face a mask of disdain. Rockslide met Haliniel’s gaze, and I could see eons of mutual hatred between them.

“I take it you guys know each other?” I said.

Em nudged me, “Shut up.”

“Sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t help myself. My goddamn mouth doesn’t want to stay closed.”

“Fear not young Aljaniu,” Haliniel said, “for I am well acquainted with your kind and take no offense. As for you, Shaytan, cast your eyes down and gaze upon your better no more!”

“Aljaniu, Shaytan?” Em said.

“It means genie and demon,” I said, “and don’t ask me how the fuck I know that because I have no idea.”

Rockslide held Haliniel’s eyes. “I shall never lower mine eyes before one of the Malak.”

“Angel,” I said before Em could ask.

“Oh good,” Em said. “I thought we were in trouble, but as long as we’re just in the middle of a divine pissing match, that’s okay.”

Well, motherfucker. If Em was to the point of snarkiness, it was past time to leave. I couldn’t see the threads of chance that marked my power, my skin was on fire, and I still hadn’t gotten used that fucking sulfur smell, but I had an idea that neither Rockslide nor Heliniel could harm us. Much like Em, I was well past giving a shit.

“Guys,” I said, “this has been fun and all, but we’re leaving.”

Haliniel and Rockslide stopped glaring at one another and looked to me. Their expressions were almost comically different. Rockslide looked resigned and a little relieved. Haliniel looked aghast, and more than a little pissed.

“You may not leave until the offer has been heard,” Haliniel said.

“How mysterious,” I said, flailing my arms and hands. “I’m not listening to shit unless we go somewhere more comfortable.”

If a Ruby Demon could look sad, then Rockslide looked downright distraught. “I thought thou enjoyed thy presence in my home.”