Chapter 016

Regret

“What have you done to yourself?” exclaimed the person. They approached a half-asleep Alevier. He strained his memory to recognize the owner of that voice, but his mind was full of random thoughts.

If he transmutes tea leaves into a T-shaped spoon, will it be called a teaspoon or not?

The person hesitantly touched Alevier’s cold neck to feel his pulse and then checked his breathing. After confirming that, they began casting magic. Alevier would have caught a glimpse of that person had it not been for that bright peacock green light emitted out of the spell in that person’s hand. A healing spell?

“No,” groaned Alevier.

“Just keep still, it will be alright,” said the person as they activated the spell model. A green light blanketed Alevier, a warm pulse entered in his body. However, his spiritual force was alright, unlike his arms. He willed it to drive away the foreign magic making the healing spell fail.

“What?” exclaimed the person. “Why are you resisting?”

“Don’t,” said Alevier again.

“What’s the matter?” the person was surprised. “Please cooperate with me.”

Alevier did not say anything.

“Urgh, I will just carry you home and treat you there,” they said.

The person conjured a black hovering disc and used another spell to slowly pick up Alevier and place him on the disc. He had no way of resisting.

“Anyway, what happened to you?” said the person worriedly. Alevier did not reply simply because replying would hurt. The person gently caressed his cheek.

“Why are you so indifferent to me?” A hint of sorrow noticeable in that person’s voice

“It hurts,” said Alevier softly. He really did not want to anger someone who could cast healing spells. Besides, the pain was reduced a bit by now so he could talk a little, but it still hurt like hell.

“What do you- oh... I-I am sorry,” the person quickly apologized. “I did not know… that.” The person looked again at him. It was plainly obvious that he was in pain. “I am really sorry.”

The person carried Alevier on the hovering disc outside.

Alevier kept his eyes closed, however, he was still curious about who that person was so he opened his eyes just a little. But the streetlights were bright and he could not help but shut his eyes again. He will just have to wait then.

* * *

Alevier did not know where he was. Well, maybe he did. The larger-than-normal room seemed like a dormitory bedroom with the almirah, study table and all. He was lying on the unusually large bed with his shirt unbuttoned revealing his chest, his belt undone and his footgear missing along with his waistcoat. He stared up at the white and red canopy. Not a normal student’s dorm, huh?

He tried to remember which dormitory this was. He would have figured it out had it not been for him falling asleep on the way. He was tired, it was past midnight and his eyes were closed, so it was no wonder he fell asleep.

“Hey, are you awake now?” said a concerned voice.

With his body, unusually more comfortable now, he could quickly turn his head to look at the source of the voice.

He stared into a certain pair of amber eyes behind a pair of rectangular glasses.

“How are you doing?” asked Isella who was sitting on a chair not too far from the bed, she wore a purple nightgown which ended right above her knees and her red hair freely cascaded down her shoulders. She looked a bit sleepy with the weary expression on her face.

Alevier quietly asked. “What… what is the time?”

“Half past two,” she replied. “Now my question.”

“I am better. Did you do something to me?” he could speak properly now.

“I did not dare touch you. I was afraid you might snap at me when you would wake up,” she said. “I just brought you here in my room and placed you on the bed."

Yeah as if his shirt had magically unbuttoned itself.

“...But I did use magic to clean your face and uh, loosen your clothes so you could feel more comfortable.”

“What were you doing all this time while I was sleeping?” he asked genuinely worried if she was plotting something against him.

“Waiting for you to wake up,” she replied shyly as she brushed back her bangs.

Alevier was internally creeped out.

“Did Jaysaun and Sinchiya have a hand in this?” he asked out of paranoia.

“No, we searched for you in the market but when we were unable to find you, we decided to call off the search until dawn.”

“Then how did you find me?” he asked suspiciously.

“...” she gave him a difficult look. “I...”

“It is alright if you don’t want to tell me,” he said. “But if you have a tracer placed on me, please remove it.”

“...I don’t,” she replied.

“Okay."

She gave him a deep look.

“So what now?” he spoke out of the blue making her jump a little. “You have brought me here, what do you intend to do with me?”

“Yeah, I will give you some potions now,” she said as she got up from the chair.

“Don’t.”

“But why? You are hurt,” she protested.

“I will heal on my own,” he replied. “You don’t need to worry about that.”

He tried to pull his body together and sit up, but his sore muscles refused to act properly. He jerked upwards but failed to sit up. He tried again and gloriously pulled a muscle, yelping in pain.

“Alevier, are you alright?” cried Isella.

“Y-yeah,” responded Alevier as he bit his lip and slowly moved his hand to massage his muscle.

“Really? I think I should give you some potions.”

“Isella, I don’t need any.”

“But-”

“I said I don’t!” Alevier snapped.

“I am sorry for asking,” she said sadly and looked away nowhere in particular with gloom lingering on her face. Alevier sighed in his heart.

A minute passed by in silence. Alevier began feeling guilty in his heart, but he was hesitant to apologize, after all, his mind had always worked much faster than his body.

“Uh, Isella?” he said softly.

“Yes?” her face lit up.

“I am sorry for snapping at you.”

“I-It is alright! I did not mind it,” she said flustered.

Something was off with this girl. Alevier was about to say something when he suddenly sneezed.

“Excuse me,” he said slowly bringing his hand to rub his nose.

“So, should I, uh, you know, apply a pain killing spell on you?” she said whilst blushing. “You know, I think you will be more comfortable like that.”

Alevier looked at her with suspicious eyes. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

“Go ahead,” he said rolling his eyes.

“So, can I touch you?”

“Yeah, just make sure that it is a pain killing spell and not a healing one.”

There was no harm in her touching him. But hey, how does she know medical spells?

She got up from her seat and sat on the side of the bed, next to Alevier. She hesitantly reached out with her hand towards Alevier’s face and gently tried to touch his forehead but, a small electric spark jumped from her’s skin to his nose. Probably, static electricity, Isella’s clothes did look like they were made of silk. Anyway, Isella quickly retreated her hand while Alevier was compelled to sneeze.

And his sneeze wasn't exactly satisfying nor did it help that he sneezed thrice consecutively.

“Sorry!” he said as he shut his eyes in pain. His chest and stomach were aching a lot from sneezing. A small drop of blood began flowing down his nose. Damn.

“Sorry Isella,” he said again as he opened his eyes to find a stupified Isella blankly staring back at him. Did he do something wrong?

“Isella?” he said softly. She did not respond. A drop of blood rolled down his cheek. Then suddenly, Isella tilted her head, her pupils dilated and one of her iris turned red. A horrific grin stretched across her face.

Sensing something seriously wrong, Alevier reflexively wriggled his body away, albeit slowly and painfully.

She softly whispered, “Blood...”

“Isella?” said Alevier, seriously worried right now, nudged his body back.

“You smell of blood,” she said again. She slowly climbed the bed.

Creeped out by her voice, Alevier slowly moved that his body back, then he rolled away from her again until he reached the edge of the bed - he could move most his body without putting much strain on his weary muscles, did she do something to him?

She slowly crawled towards him on all fours.

Alevier debated whether he should wait and see what will happen next or fall off the bed just to keep safe. However, when he looked into Isella’s intense eyes, he almost immediately knew that he must choose the latter.

With a painful groan, he pushed himself off the bed and fell on the floor with a heavy thud.

“Ow,” it hurt him more than what he expected.

The redhead stared at him from above the bed like a cat staring down at its prey. Her grin was as wide as ever.

Alevier clumsily rolled his body to the side again barely avoiding her pounce. He continued to roll away from her until he hit the wall. Ouch. Things weren't rolling his way...

The girl had her gaze fixed on him. But, was she really? Alevier saw her heterochromatic eyes through her glasses. Was it a monster in disguise? She slowly crawled towards him while licking her lips. Yep, totally a monster. A dangerous monster in the form of a cute girl wearing a nightgown and slowly approaching him on all fours… He really needed to focus.

His heart raced, he hoped that it was due to fear.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. Now, what could he do? Nothing. Great… But wait, he is a mage, and mages can cast magic! Why must he state the obvious? Oh yeah, he hadn’t really calmed down.

He slowly dragged his hand to face Isella. A glowing spell model began to form on his palm. He just needed four to five seconds to do this but, Isella hissed and pounced on him. She violently grabbed his arm and shook it wanting to break his concentration. It was painful but, Alevier could manage to concentrate on the spell model - even when his arm was not the only thing shaking...

Goddamnit, this definitely was not Isella.

Realizing that she could achieve nothing from shaking him, Isella picked him up with surprising strength and pinned him hard against the wall but, he activated the spell model and twirled his palm. A small mana missile emerged and managed to push back Isella. He had modified it to apply a push, nothing more - he did not want to hurt her.

He slumped down with his back against the wall. Could he pick his arm up to aim at her? No, but he could twist his palm to face her. How long could he do that? He felt a headache coming.

Isella shrieked and stumbled before falling on her round butt. Her hair shrouded her face. Alevier looked at her hoping that no serious damage was done.

She slowly brushed her red hair back and looked at him with teary eyes and a sad expression as if he had broken her heart. She sobbed a little and wiped a tear from under her glasses as if she was crying.

Now his heart ached. Great.

But he must not let emotions get in his way, he knew better than that - from experience of course. He sighed and prepared another spell model in his palm but a dispelling wave crashed into it, disrupting the whole thing. He looked at Isella on the floor with her arm stretched out in front of her.

Oh yeah, she is a mage, that means she can do magic too. God, he was so screwed at the moment.

He looked at Isella whose face had twisted into the same mad grin from earlier. He gulped down his saliva.

“You smell of blood,” she whispered again sending shivers down his spine. Women are such scary creatures.

She again began crawling towards him, he tried casting spells, but she would disrupt them with her own dispellers. He was in deep trouble now. She neared Alevier with her tongue licking her lips.

“Isella,” he said. “Stop.”

“You smell...” she said.

Tenderly, she climbed over Alevier’s legs, her body arched downwards and her face neared his. A warm breath parted her lips, Alevier quivered and tried to lift his arms but ended up cramping his shoulder. He closed his eyes, scared of what will happen next.

“You smell so good!” she said with a raspy breath. “I feel thirsty.”

Okay, what the hell?

“Is-” before Alevier could say something, she pressed her body against him. She placed her head on his shoulder and sniffed him. Her bare legs gently wrapped around his. Her hands slowly coiled around his neck and pulled him close.

Alevier’s mind went blank. Blanker than blank.

She pressed herself harder on him, embracing Alevier tightly and taking in long breaths, sniffing him from his head to his shoulders. Her lips ran along and gently caressed his skin. She continuously moved over him, her legs did not stop moving up and down consequently revealing a bit too much from under her gown. Her flesh and skin chafed against his bare cold chest with only a thin layer of silk separating the two.

Warm and soft… it was an indescribable feeling.

“Smell… so... good,” she squeezed herself harder making the boy between her arms lose his breath. She pressed her nose against his neck and sniffed him more. She hugged him tighter as if he was a soft toy.

“Isella, stop,” Alevier managed to squeeze out a sentence. “What are you doing?”

She pushed herself vigorously against him as if she wanted to permeate into him almost as if… she could not have enough of whatever was driving her.

“I cannot hold any longer,” she said in a seductive tone.

Then suddenly the girl grabbed his hair and tilted his head sideways exposing his neck. Screams of danger filled Alevier’s head. She slowly licked his neck as if he was the sweetest popsicle to ever touch her tongue.

“Isella!” yelled he in panic. “Isella stop!”

The beauty opened her mouth to reveal a pair of fangs. “You smell so good. You smell of blood.”

“Isella no! Stop, stop!” screamed Alevier as he widened his eyes. “Isella I-I know you can hear me! Stop!”

He felt her tongue lick him one more time before something sharp press against his neck, he shivered and shouted with all his might, “ISELLA!”

She did not hesitate and the pressure on his neck increased. It was only a small bit of effort that stopped her fangs sinking into his skin. Alevier tried to bend more towards the other side to buy himself some time but, her grip on his hair was strong. He picked his powerless arms to do something but, even with the adrenaline pumping in his veins, they could do nothing more than lift themselves up. He tried to struggle but Isella’s grip was just too strong.

“ISELLA DAMN IT STOP!” he screamed in her ear. “FUCKING WAKE UP OR SOMETHING!”

Alevier shut his teary eyes tight and waiting for the worst to happen, the fangs continued to press against his neck. She was not going to stop - this would be his end.

So he will become food for a pretty girl he met just a few hours ago? What a lovely destiny. Maybe he was meant to be fodder and this was his fate… Honestly, was there a moment in his life where he had not been a pathetic pushover of a meat-bag? None that he could remember. Even if this was his fate, what had he done until now to make a difference? What had he done all this while? What had he achieved until now?

What had he achieved in his life? Nothing.

Absolutely nothing. Maybe Lueirby was right - his life was worthless. He could have done a lot, but he had just let opportunities fly by, he had stayed cooped up in his own little world all this time. He was just fixed at thinking that he was some sort of genius.

Maybe that is why he was largely indifferent to being bullied too - even when he did not consider the old promise involved in it.

Albeit, he had brawled against bullies two years ago, it was not because of his self-respect, righteousness or anything, it was simply to prove to them that he is better than them - he could handle everything on his own.

He got involved in bullying just to feed his own superiority complex; being one of the top students despite his magical incompetence made him feel special. Being drowned in his own arrogance, he fought against bullies and never took the right approach against it. They were not-so-nice people after all.

And as time passed by, he realized that he could not hold a candle to his peers anymore. He almost failed in the examinations himself, his pride was in pieces, he was just too powerless. The tides had turned and he was viewed as a sorry loser so he shut his big mouth and tried to regain his position by studying hard all this time thinking that such behaviour would guide him to somewhere great.

So he decided to bear everything no matter how bad it would get. He thought of becoming a life-saving alchemist and, if his fate willed, a heroic Archmage later on. He began selling potions to the poor and helping random people even though he never felt genuine care for them thinking that it was charity. Yet, he had felt like a criminal realizing his follies and turning into a saint at that time. How divine and angelic was that?

And before he knew it, he did not care if people walked all over him. He got rid of all motive and only did something when he was told to - he did not care much about anything. And since he did not care, he had been more of a jerk to the people around him all the while feeling like a child of destiny.

He never realized that such a thing was harming himself.

And even now, when he had the power to cast a strong spell and kill Isella, he did not do it. Even though he could slap down Jaysaun and tell him not to force things on him, he did not do it. Even though he could have asked Jarkiso to lessen his training, he did not do it. He even had the power - mind you, he did not have to ask for help - to shut all the wicked people around him, he did not. Why? Because he thought he was being the greater man by forgiving them.

Now that he looked back, wasn’t that utterly pathetic? He was and is a spineless rascal. A wretched fool who is good for nothing - someone who can only lick other’s boots for a living. He was meant to be fodder and he acted like that till his end. He allowed himself to be tossed around like a timid boat amidst a sea storm all the while complaining about how his destiny forced hardships on him and never taking the initiative to brave the storms himself.

His actions had been plain stupid and miserable. Yeah, he did not have the power to do everything on his own but did that mean that he will stay an ignorant sheep for the rest of his life? Will he remain a stepping stone for others? Will he take the suffering up his ass forever?

Somewhere in his mind, he knew that things were not right but all those stories he read said otherwise - they told him that to err is human, to forgive - divine. He believed lies and illusions cast by his own thoughts. His own ideology was flawed. It was influenced by others, moulded by others, derived from others, that is why it had so many contradictions and caused him nothing but sufferance.

In the end, he was a pushover who was too confused about which path to follow. Even when he was handed power, he refused to use them.

His mother used to say, “Join a good academy. Study hard and top all classes. Become a great mage and earn lots of merits.”

He never chose any of that, he could have joined a normal mage academy and been the best there, he could have chosen a non-magical school or something, he would have done great like that. But he did not.

He never dared to. He simply thought that he was being a greater man by listening to others.

One could say that he did not choose this tale - his tale. Those were other’s opinions, their beliefs which he made his own.

He had allowed himself to be thrown about while thinking that he was a tragic hero, thinking that all of this was a trial to take him to the top, thinking that doing nothing will yield him results. But wasn't he being too much of a sorry figure now? He didn't want to be a loser. He didn't want his life to be hard. He didn't want to be called a sorrowful piece of shit.

So why must others make a choice for him? Why can’t he have it his way, he has the power now. Why must he choose to be a coward?

Some men are born great. He was not that. Some men have greatness thrust upon them. This was a lie, a blatant lie. And some men achieve greatness. Yes, he wanted to do that. He wanted to be great by his own efforts not because some stupid destiny shoved greatness down his throat.

He wanted to change his life. He wanted to change it now and he had the power to do so.

But it was too late. It was too late for him to realize this. .He never realized that he had the power to resist all this time - it was this flaw that led him here. That monster’s fangs would be in his neck any moment now and he would be sucked dry of blood. He could predict that much. So any moment now… he would be no more. He could've been remembered as a wholesome, hardworking person who made his own path, but he would be remembered as a disgrace who failed to do anything meaningful.

Regret rolled down his cheek.

He would die painfully any moment now. Maybe it was a fitting end for a despicable person like him. No, he was reaping what he had sow thus, he must accept it, that was the least he could do - not die like a coward but like a man who stared death in the eye.

He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to die crying like a weakling. Let this be his last act of courage.

He slowly opened his watery eyes to look at his final moment. However, the predicted end did not come. The girl's fangs just continued to press uncomfortably against his neck.

He saw Isella frozen in her place, still as a statue.

“I-Isella?” Alevier muttered. There was no response, the only sound he could hear was of his own heart banging against his chest. Time did not stop, did it?

“Isella,” he said again. Alevier’s tear silently fell on her shoulder.

Then suddenly, she jerked and slowly pulled back her head. She looked at him with panic in her amber eyes. Her face was etched with sorrow and worry.

“You… aren’t going to suck my blood, are you?” said Alevier, bewildered. The unlikeliness of the situation had caught him off guard - there was no fear in him, only shock and bewilderment.

Isella quickly got off him and fell into a kowtow.

“I-I am s-sorry, I am sorry!” she sobbed. “I am really sorry!”

“...” What was with this 180-degree change in attitude? Just a moment ago she was behaving like a predator playing with their prey and now she was grovelling before him? Women are scary creatures.

“I am d-deeply regretful for my actions!” she sobbed. “Please f-forgive me.”

“Uh, it is... alright?” he said, slightly elated at the turn of events. But she continued to sob and apologized to him. Jeez, he had already heard it once, she did not need to say it again and again like a broken crystal ball recorder. Urgh, this was too much for him to process.

“P-please forgive me!”

“It is alright, get up,” he said again. Guess she came back to her senses, but there was no guarantee that she would attack him again. He silently prepared his spiritual force to get ready for immediate action.

Isella slowly picked herself up. Her face was already red from crying and she had tears streaming down her cheeks.

Alevier was just wondering how he should handle this situation. He was alive and he had got a second chance to fix his life. Cool. But he had a crying Isella who tried to kill him to deal with. What should he do now?

“Calm down, it is not a big deal. Plenty of women have tried to kill me, you are the fourth one on the list. Congratulations!” he said recollecting the time he ran away from a carnivorous flower in a dungeon. He should calm her down first.

“I am sorry for what happened,” she sobbed.

“Wipe those tears off your face, they er- spoil your charm,” he said awkwardly. Gosh, he needed some lessons from Jaysaun.

“O-okay,” she began wiping her tears with her hand but ended up crying again. Alevier sighed.

* * *

It took an hour or so for Alevier to help Isella regain her composure. It was really tiresome, why was she behaving like she was traumatized? He should be the one crying and screaming. Anyway, he used a few modified versions of ‘Jaysaun’s collection of pick-up lines for all situations’ to make her feel better. He never knew they would come in handy.

“How can I repay you,” she said. “I am deeply ashamed of my deeds. Please forgive me, I will do anything you say.”

“You could begin by telling me what was that all about,” said Alevier now back on the bed. He was really worried about what her double identity was.

“…I uh, lost myself,” said Isella while she sat on the edge of the bed. She still had puffy eyes but was more or less alright now.

“How?"

“Umm...” said Isella, awkwardly playing with her fingers like a child who had been caught doing some mischief.

“Isella,” said Alevier softly.

“Y-yes?” Isella jumped a little at being suddenly called out.

“Do you trust me?” said Alevier. She’d be mad if she said yes, it had been only a few hours since they’ve met. But he knew this statement could add some psychological pressure on her and well, make her speak out the truth. He had picked a thing or two from Jarkiso. What? His life was in danger just a moment ago, it was justified for him to be a bit... asshole-ish. Ugh, whatever.

“I do,” she replied meekly.

Wow, it actually works.

“So tell me Isella, what happened to you?” said Alevier.

“I… um, can smell or sense lifeforce,” she said quietly.

“Okay...?” That was new, he had never met anyone who would claim such a thing. She did not have a screw loose or anything?

“So how does that have anything to do with what happened?”

“I am getting there. Have you read any theories on lifeforce?” she asked.

“Yes, but not many of them are accurate. Most of them define it as the mana which bounds the soul to the body or the mana which provides vitality to the body,” said Alevier. “But they are theories, not facts.”

“Yeah. You know how every living being has a unique mana signature?”

“That is common knowledge.”

“Well, the thing is, your mana signature is bright,” she said. “And-”

“But isn’t sensing mana signatures a thing exclusive to sensors?”

“I am a sensor too,” she said nonchalantly.

”Oh...” One surprise after another.

“Please don’t tell that to anyone,” she said. “It is a secret.”

“Okay.” She was already trusting him with secrets. That was very naive of someone who was about to kill him.

“Anyway, like mana signatures, people also have a… well, life signature that is um… their lifeforce and I can smell it. I don’t know how to put it.”

“I understand what you are saying.”

“Great,” she then turned towards him. Nervousness was visible in her eyes. “Your life signature is… unusually strong.”

That was surprising, he really thought his unhealthy habits had cut his life short, but that did not seem to be the case.

“More potent than anyone I have seen until now. And unlike mana signatures, you cannot suppress your life signature,” she said. “But I thought that was it - you were someone with an oddly strong life force.”

She let out a nervous laugh and looked at him shyly. “Thus, life force smelled great and...”

“And?”

“It was really really alluring.”

Goddamn. Jaysaun’s and Sinchiya’s plan really worked.

“I-it is not that I was attracted towards you only because of that!” she said hurriedly. “You are a nice and understanding person too!”

“Yeah yeah,” said Alevier grumpily.

“I am serious!” she inched closer to him and looked at him with determination. “You are a great person! It is just that… your first impression sucks.”

“I understand. Anyway, so what happened to you?”

“Yeah about that. When we were looking for you, I suddenly sensed a very very strong impulse of lifeforce which disappeared after a minute or so” she said. “I made a mental note of that location. And when we called off the search I headed towards that spot only to find you knocked out in an alley. I got really worried and brought you here.”

Alevier looked at her. He still found it all unbelievable but, accepted it because of Isella’s honest look and the fact that he had no theory of his own to propose. Not to mention, he was too tired to emotionally react to her explanation.

“Then when you sneezed and your nose began bleeding, you began emitting that ridiculous lifeforce again from your wound in your nose and I could not control my urges,” she said.

“...urges?”

“To drink and devour your lifeforce by sucking you dry.”

“Oh,” Alevier had, for the first time, found someone who could creep him out as much as his sister. She was really talking like a monster. “I thought you said that I smelled of blood.”

He decided to change the topic to something more alarming.

“Yes, you do. Even now the air around you is saturated with that stench - your life force’s smell is that strong. But when you actually bled, I completely lost my senses - the smell was so strong, it was almos-”

“Yet you said I smell nice?” said Alevier worriedly.

“Yeah, I love that smell.”

“You love the smell of blood?” Alevier nervously chuckled and positioned his palm, his spiritual force ever ready. “You... almost sound like a vampire.”

“That is half true,” said Isella looking at the ceiling. Slowly, she turned her head towards him. One of her iris had turned red while the other was still amber, a pair of white fangs were visible in her mouth. Alevier reflexively flinched back.

She softly spoke to him. “I am a Dhampir.”