Killing upper echelon of a major city during the time of war may not have been the smartest decision.

Thinking over the events of the last few days again, I may have been extraordinarily lucky.

Many ‘important’ people may have come to the city from the caravan. And the city leaders may have prepared a ‘feast’ just before the actual war to ‘strengthen’ their ties.

And by that I mean binding all the powerful and important people in corrupted rituals, and if you have been invited and don’t take part in it you disappear really fast.

And even if somehow your sleeping guilt magically awakens, what are you going to do? Tell people that all their leaders, idols and heroes are evil? Or even more tell public that they sacrifice children and slaves to Lucifer?

People will laugh at you, ridicule you and turn deaf ear to everything you say. And those in power have many ears, so in the end you will quietly disappear.

But I still don’t understand how I survived against dozens of wizards. They casted their spells, but they were somehow really weak. It is really strange, the wizards I know are gods among men, creatures of mana which with mere though bend the world to according to their will.

Are my standards of wizard to high?

No. There must be a reasonable explanation.

But an empty bubble of power did more damage than I could imagine. The whole city is in chaos. Many factions crawled out of their holes the moment their masters disappeared. Bandits, Assassins, Dark Guilds, Mercenaries and Guards with ambitions. They all were controlled in some form, money, black-mail or fear. Politicians have polished their skills in manipulations and control for eons.

The city is closer to hell than it has ever been. Someone was able poison the already limited supply of clean and drinkable water. During the battles for the past several days about a tenth of the city burned down. People are hungry, scared and desperate.

City gates and wall are guarded like never before. No one can exit, nearly no one. There are always exceptions, if you have gold.

And even if you exit, what are you going to do in the middle of desert which is in state of war?

The thing is, that every city has an emir, something close to a mayor. Emir answers and follow the Dead Desert Consul. The Consul is a group of most powerful merchants in desert, and they think only in terms of profit. They communicate with each city through a special enchanted communicator walls. And those walls require a small group of skilled mages to operate, which are usually held in high respect.

There is an incredibly high chance these communication mages were on the ‘feast’. So I end up with in a city, which has nearly no communication with outside world.

This city is a really important point in the desert, therefore it will be ‘taken under control’ one way or another. Sending and capturing the city will take resources, but if the city will be left to rot and starved, in its half-dead state it will take much less money. Lives don’t matter, never did.

I survived somehow. But with one lung it is hard to do anything. With my basic knowledge of biology I just ‘tell’ the body where to send the right nutrition. So if something can be healed on a normal person, with mana it takes much less time. But it is a totally different story if that body part doesn’t heal normally. In those cases I have to take manual control and tell the body what exactly to do. Regenerating lost rib bones is hard, I have to extract bone essence from other bones and direct in in the correct direction. But restoring limbs and internal organs is a FUCKING pain in the ass.

I still can’t understand how saying few fancy words can magically recreate body parts. I have seen how it happens with my very own eyes, and can only say that it is god damn bullshit.

FUCKING MAGES.

Powerful earth Wizards are not rare, but that fucking earth javelin did ‘quite some damage’ to my lung, and by that I mean that it totally disintegrated it. The javelin pierced at least 5 people before it got to me. They disintegrated into chunks of flesh and gore instantly. Only because I commanded mana to hold my body together I didn’t follow their fate. That attack threw me to the ceiling corner, which was at least 10 meters high. After that I had to take ‘manual’ control of my nervous system, every organ and muscle not to die and continue fighting. In retrospect it is good that it had such a high velocity, if it didn’t rip out that chunk of flesh, then my body would absorb most of its kinetic energy, and that would have been a really bad end.

Nightmares didn't stop. But at least no one visited me there.

I need to leave the city, but in the state of my body it is an achievement to take a shit and not fall apart.

Back when I was at north, everything looked easy and planned, but the souther I went the more problems arose. Stumbling upon Caliphate assassins, nearly missing caravan because bandits became creative and blew up the ship I was on. And even though I somehow arrived before the departure of caravan, the situation with cultist ‘happened’. But it all pales before the fact that war started when I was in the center of the country and desert that was attacked, which resulted strictly controlled passages in and out of the city. Oh, and not to forget that a really smart ‘person’ decided that it was the best time to clean the city of the said cultists which resulted an utter chaos and full stop on all travel.

Great isn’t it?

I am not sure what to do next, all possible plans of fast travel through the dead desert fell apart. But before thinking of traveling through the desert, I need to think about how the hell do I get out of this FUCKING city.

But problems are never alone. That wind wizard with who I traveled in caravan is quite often circling in the air, searching someone.

Me, more likely.

It looks like she has been following me from the moment I entered the city through the gates, but because of the event in the adventure guild she lost me. I can feel it with my guts that whatever she wants, will cause more problems, that it is worth.

I don’t know why she is looking for me or what exactly she wants, and I don’t really care.

With her I can easily travel over the walls. But I still don’t want to.

Don’t want.

[No one is asking your opinion. We have a problem, and need a solution. Time is more important. Get to work.]

She has repeatable chain of actions, flying around for about 20 minutes after which she lands and rests until she can fly again. She has repeated it again and again for quite some time, few days actually. Stubbornness of some people is commendable, but why is it always directed in the wrong direction.

I am not hiding. Or at least that is what I would want to think. If a fight started, or lets say she would want to enforce her opinions or demand, I am not sure if I would be able to politely decline in current state of my body.

I need to continue what I was doing before.

Cleaning slavehouses.

Because of the whole internal strife in the city not many care about them, they are just food burden. But when they will need a meat shield for the battles, situation will turn around. I need to free the people while I can.

‘People’ huh. I still have doubts after what happened yesterday.

…

A woman in blue dress in lying on ground screaming while four are holding her to ground. One of them as if tired of her struggle punches her, which causes a yelp of pain and sounds of sobbing. They proceed to rip her clothes off and take of their pants. They stop at the last moment when I finally limped close enough for them to see me.

They look at me, while the area is barely illuminated by setting sun. After they exchange brief glance and jeers with each other one of them stands up and jumps at me with knife.

I may look like a hobo more than I have ever been, covered in blood from head to toes, with rags barely covering my body. I am constantly limping and often cough when I try to take a breath. But even in my state there is still strength in my hands. The attacker falls down on floor screaming, after I ripped out his hand out of his shoulder socket, which wielded the knife.

They finally react to me as if I am a thread and I can finally see their faces. A takes several seconds to recognize them, they are the ones I freed last night. A group of demihumans barely 16.

“Why?” I squeeze out of myself. “I freed you from slavery, and the first thing you do with that freedom is rape?”

As if they recognize me they eyes squint and widen, but they continue looking at me with hate.

“Answer me!”

“They do not deserve to live. What they have done to us can not be forgiven!” says the youngest looking one on the right. His cat ears perked aggressively.” They tortured us, they starved us! We were less than animals! They… They all… my… my mom… they didn’t… They never stopped… I begged, I promised I will do anything but they… my mom.” he finishes through the tears that are streaming from his dark brown eyes.

“They killed her, and fed her body to the dogs. I will kill them. All of them. Humans are evil. You are all the same. You all deserve to die. Men, women and children. You-” he proclaims while pointing his dagger at me.

A moment later his neck splits apart. Others perpetrators followed his fate, while the half-naked woman on ground covered in their blood is looking at me in horror. She screams and flops on her stomach after which she starts crawling away from me in terror.

The head of the boy stops rolling on ground as his dead eyes look at the sky with tears still stream out of them. His face frozen in enraged and vengeful expression.

[Do not dare to look away. This is result of your actions. You did it.]

There are things that can not be forgiven. His mother… I am not sure I would.

There is nothing I could say to them. There is nothing I could say to heal or help them. They are just wounded animals, and they will seek destruction.

I am responsible for that.

[Don’t make a scene out of it, it is not the first time you killed children, not the last. They didn’t ask for your help, they never needed your help. But still, you are not so different from that boy. You have never created anything, never nurtured anything. Destruction is the only thing you know, only thing you are able to do, and nothing will change that.]

[But you are not alone. Those you hate and despise, those that use and manipulate, those that have power and authority are the same as you in that respect. Aren’t you happy that there are people similar to you?]

There is no righteousness in this world. And there will never be, and we made it that way.

…

Innocent may have died because I freed slaves, and many will die. Their deaths are on my consciences. Should I really free more? The yesterday situation may repeat.

[May?]

They are not bound by fate, they have free will. I should not judge them by actions of their kin.

[Oh? What about dark elves? So humans and demihuman should not be judged, but dark elves are one big evil group, and they all are the same? Fucking Hypocrite. If you have rules at least stick to them, even HE follows his]

Glancing at the wind wizard I see that she is finally out of mana and starts going down. I have some time before she returns to the search.

I need to move.

As I walk in the opposite direction and start thinking about next immediate actions I hear a wind spell explosion which is followed by a scream in the area where the Wizard should have landed.

Not my problem. Not my.

That is always what people say. Someone else will help.

[And they will always say. People are able to convince themselves quite easily if it ensures that they will sleep better. We will sleep better knowing that she WASN’T our problem, won’t we?]

Shit. Life would be much easier if I was different. How much different life could be, but it won’t.

Limping to the direction of sound I find a rather ugly situation. There are at least 20 bandits, one of them with enchanted crossbow standing in the rear. Wizard is pinned to wall with a big arrow in her shoulder. Daggers embedded into her palms are holding her to wall immobile. There is a gag in her mouth and she is unconscious while bleeding from her temple.

“Come on. No one will notice. She is not a virgin for sure, so no one will even know if we have a go.”

“No, that is the final answer. Don’t damage the goods.”

As they were grumbling and arguing, I was gathering as much air as I can. My body will not be able to take on a long battle with one lung. I need to end it fast.

I throw a short dagger into the head of the one with crossbow, while swinging the sword in wide arc to kill as many as I can. The first swing took out six in an explosion of flesh and gore with sound of bone crunching and flesh ripping apart, the second swing followed shortly after.

One of them, in the rear of the group, suddenly took out another enchanted crossbow out of his cloak. I should have expected them to have more than one crossbow. Distance between us is too small to dodge and too big to reach him.

FUCK.

The fired arrow disappeared and an enormous force pinned me to the wall as sword falls out of my hand. It went through the left lung. FUCKING SHITS. The wound only started healing. With roar I rip myself out of wall and attack with everything I have.

…

I finally finished coughing out pieces of my lung that only started regenerating but already needed to be replaced with non-damaged versions. I need to start all over again. God damn it.

Few ran away, few had their skull crushed by my hands, few had their throats ripped out. Their blood is still flowing from my mouth. Teeth are a really good weapon, and they are always with you. It may look and sound barbaric, but when your life is on the line you tend to use everything you have, and philosophical preferences don’t matter.

Those who ran away will return with a backup. I need to get out of here, but the retarded dart board is still pinned to wall.

So much mana and power, but it all is useless if you don’t know how to use it correctly. Should I really help her? She will for sure cause problems.

[Always finish what you started.]

I sigh and remove the daggers, which are pinned her palms to wall. Daggers fall on the ground with a clang. After I rip the enchanted arrow out she fall down as a sack of potatoes.

Oh come on. Slapping her face several times does not return her to conscious.

[Finish what you started.]

With a groan I throw her on my shoulder and start limping in the direction where I came from. The burning sun of noon and heat not helping in the least.

Life could be much easier. But no, I needed to get more injuries.

[Who are you going to blame? Our life, our decisions]

…

I used few pieces of cloth to close her wounds. I don’t have potions, and even if had I would not give them to her.

Closing my bleeding took a bit more energy than it usually would have. I was not allowed to fully heal from the last hunt, and the one before that.

Wyvern not taken into account.

The night came but she still hasn’t waken up. I am too tired to wait any longer, and I will not fall asleep near her.

Slapping her few times finally gives a result. She slowly opens her eyes with groan as her green eyes meet mine. Green eyes, green clothes and wind magic. I really hope that this is just a random combination and not a personal aesthetic preference. The eccentric ones with visual preferences are the biggest pain in the ass.

She continues to stare at me in half daze for at least a minute until her eyes start to close. I don’t have time for this.

“Why were you searching for me?”

“What?” she replied with weak voice as she jerks awake with pain visible on her face.

I really, really don’t have time for it.

“Some idiot was uselessly wasting energy to fly around in search of something or someone. Bandits waited until that idiot wasted most of her mana and attacked.”

As if remembering her eyes widen in realization. “You saved me?”

“You survived. Most of them didn’t”

“Thank you.” she says quietly.

“You did not answer the question.”

Looking at me for another few seconds she continues.

“I need your help.”

“I already helped you.”

She continues to stare at me as if waiting for something, with questioning look. I am really tired of this shit, as soon as I try get more information out of her, her eyes close and she falls to side.

The cloth on her shoulder turns red. She lost too much blood and she should not be able to cause an issue for some time. I re-bandage her shoulder with what was available, piece of her cloak. She should survive, at least for now.

I can leave her here, but she is the easiest ticket over the wall.

[She will cause more problems.]

I start calculating other options of getting over the wall. Whatever I do, it will take much more time and has less chance of success than using the wind wizard.

Maybe I can ask her to get me over the wall for saving her. But whatever she wants should have been worth several days of search, and she for sure will bring it up.

FUCK.

The decision brings a deep sigh.

[You will regret it one way or another.]

...

In the morning I wake up with a groan. This body will not hold on for much longer if I continue like that.

But who cares? It doesn’t need to.

I look in the direction of my ticket and find her awake, standing and looking at me. Great, she awoke earlier than she should have, and looks much healthier than I am, and to top it all, she could have killed me if she wanted.

[Your decision. You allowed that.]

She continues to stare at me with expectation. I need to take control before she does. I stand up.

“I saved you yesterday. Repay me with getting me over the city walls.”

“Promise to help me first.”

“What?”

“Promise to help me.”

Did she hit her head too hard?

“Why should I?”

She continues to stare at me. Few minutes pass in absolute silence while we stare at each other. This is not getting us anywhere. I sigh.

”What exactly do you want?”

“I need you to go somewhere with me.”

“Why?”

“Because I asked for your help.” she says with a questioning and authoritative look. As if the fact that I am asking it is ridiculous.

What the actual fuck. Because she asked for help? No, no, no. This is an overkill, this is not worth it. I had enough problems so far, a mentally ill idiot will not become another one.

As I want to walk away, she speaks quickly.

“If you don’t, I will tell Uncle Yorgan.”

“Ha?”

“Someone attacked the Emir palace. Emir family dismembered remains were found in the palace dungeon which as rumors say was used in dark rituals. Bodies of an A class adventurers were found there too.” she pauses for few seconds looking directly into my eyes and continues “Not many can do that.”

She takes a deep breath and continues again.

“You are a Blood Brother, I saw the mark. You came to the city and the next day the dark cult was found. That is no coincidence.”

Still looking into my eyes she expects some kind of change or reaction.

“You must be from the Heretic Hunter group. My uncle, Lord Yorgan Kifaros, is one of your captains. If you don’t help me I will send a letter to him and you will be punished.”

There is so much I want to say, but it is as if you are trying to squeeze something enormous through a small hole, everything gets stuck.

“Help me, please.” she finishes with desperation.

This desperate stuck up idiot with mental issues tries her best to seem the one in control, but I can smell her fear. A strong headache pushes me too close to making a rash decision.

“We will talk after you get me over the wall.” I squeeze out.

“No promise me that you will go together with me to Mozzarel. Promise me. Blood Brothers will never break a promise.”

I was going to travel through it one way or another.

“I promise that I will travel to Mozzarel.”

“Thank you.” she says with a bright childish smile. “We will travel over the wall during tomorrow night. I need to rest a bit more and get few thing in the city. Travel will be long and hard.”

So my wrecked condition is not taken into account.

[People will always think only about themselves.]

The fact that she knows, that the Emir family was part of cult, means that this information is public. It was made public on purpose, a tool to sway massed to new ruler more likely. The city is going to hell much faster than it should.

I don’t know what worries me more, the fact that an inexperienced, but powerful wizard has a mental capabilities of child and threatens me with ‘You bad. I tell mommy’, adding to that the absolute belief in ‘blood brother pinky promise’ bullshit, or the fact that she doesn’t know that Yorgan has been dead for at least 5 years.

Yorgan. He saved my life, several times.

[Oh? Do you think helping her you will repay the dept you owe to him? Don’t lie to yourself. He is dead, rotting in his grave, and there is nothing you can do to help him. Nothing.]

[Focus on goals. There are still slave houses in the city. Isn’t this what you wanted to do? Who knows maybe the nightmares won’t return. Right?]

…

I cleaned the city as much as I can. I can’t delay it any longer, there is just no time left.

Olana, the wind wizard, helped me get the food and travel supplies. It was much harder than one could expect.

Buying anything is no longer possible. Lack of clean water, groups fighting for power, desperation and utter chaos changed the city within few days. Shops are closed, food is so scarce that people started killing each other for few pieces of bread, and it is not just few instances, the whole city is in such state.

Gold is worth nothing if you can’t exchange it for goods.

Incredible what a small piece of information, that war started, few poisoned wells and several dead people, rulers mostly, can do.

It took one and a half day to gather all the needed resources. And a single night to free slaves. The funny thing is that freeing the slaves was the easier task.

The ‘acquired’ horses, clean water and food were quickly transported to the other side of wall. We had to drug the horses as they would not take the flight well, and any sound could be the end of operation.

The guards with enchanted crossbow is a serious problem. In close quarter I can ‘disable’ them quickly, on far distances I can somehow evade the incredibly fast arrows, but on mid ranges it is deadly weapon, especially if there are several of them.

There is a guard with crossbow every 4 meters on the wall. And you can’t guess which one of them has an enchanted one.

Olana casted a wind spell which took us all together and transported as far as she could from the city walls. All in all she was able to hold only for few minutes, but it was enough as we were in about half a kilometer from the city. She said that she was tired and that she isn’t used carrying so much weight with wind spells.

Tired huh.

Still trying to hold the status of ‘powerful wizard’. But I didn’t care, I have seen many trying to pose as something they were not, and even those that represented something always tried to cast a bigger shadow, as if it would change what they really are.

We quickly ‘woke up’ the horses and started the travel. While on horse I will be able to heal myself much easier. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that there is just too much to heal, my body is just one big wound.

…

Taking as priority I healed the lung first, with more oxygen intake my body will function a bit better.

In about a week we will get to south city Samolesh of the dead desert. From then on it will be only travel in a near straight line.

It is only spring, but the heat is already unbearable. I don’t understand how people live in this region and don’t lose their mind.

Several ‘locals’ though that a pair of traveling adventurers are an easy prey. They were proven wrong. The good thing is that you need to prove they wrong only once, the bad thing is that there are many you need to prove that to.

[But who is counting the number of dead bodies we are leaving behind. Right? They are not people, or at least it is easier to think that way. How many fates we crushed, how many lives we destroyed.]

I didn’t speak much with my ‘traveling companion’, but her constant glancing for the past few days had already became quite tiring. Still, I will not start the conversation.

[You are doing your best not to address her by name, still trying to think of her as nothing more than a temporary shadow, as we have done to all we met. By her behavior it is not a question if she is a noble. But the fact that a noble wizard is traveling alone raises too many questions, and getting to the Mozzarel isn’t the goal for sure. Therefore the question, what is?]

Olana as if finally gathering the courage and determination opens her mouth. “Listen, I know that you are not allowed to discuss this stuff, but, my Uncle, do you know how…”

I know exactly where this is going, and anything I say will only cause more questions, problems and issues. I continue to look forward as if I never heard the question. After few seconds of silence she continues.

“…Nevermind. I shouldn’t have asked.”

Sometimes the best answer is silence.

…

Life is a strange thing. We meet people we never expect to meet.

It looks like the that group of ogre, dwarf and elf somehow left the city too. They did not do that alone, but that is normal, higher number increase the chance of survival.

We all somehow found a small oasis in the middle of nowhere. They are extremely rare, and if people find them, they always try to rest there or replenish water supplies.

It should have been a ‘happy’ moment, where two traveling group meet. It should have been a moment where we clap each other on back, congratulating each other that we survived and left the city somehow.

But it isn’t.

When we arrived in the oasis everything was already finished, the desert centipede pack attack was repelled.

Was repelled, but with a price.

Out of 15 people of the group that arrived at the oasis 4 lay dead.

And one of the dead is the dwarf, whose name I don’t even remember. He lays on his back with a big bloody wound in the center of his chest lifelessly, while sand under him turns red.

The ogre is standing grim over the body of his comrade, while the elf in on his knees, weeping and lying over the body of the dwarf.

Not comrades, friends. Whatever they said or did, they were still together.

Till the end.

“Silo, we need to go.” said the ogre.

“Go?” whispered the elf turning to the ogre. “Go where Metas?! Liam died and you want to go?!”

“There is nothing we can do for him now.”

“Nothing we can do? Is that all you can say?! You can’t grieve him at all? Did you ever think of him as a friend?!”

The ogres eyes shot wide open as he punched the elf in the face sending him to ground.

“He was as much your friend as mine!! You think I am not in pain, you think I…” he stopped as tears start streaming down his face.

Life goes on.

People die every second.

[That it just statistic. Every single one of them has a name, family, friends and enemies, dreams and hopes, a story never told. But together they are just statistic.]

I continue to stand and look as everyone around is moving, checking their gear and preparing something, expect the duo crying with their dead friend on the ground. Memories of me in bloody uniform standing on the battlefield riddled with craters which are filled with fire, with all my team mates body parts lying around, while legions march at me. We were left to die, reinforcement weren’t just late, they didn’t exist in the first place. We were meant to die, to disappear, burying all the secrets with us.

Returning from the memories I see as the ogre pickups the body of dwarf, which he proceeded to carry and puts on the horse.

[Nice isn’t it?. You are not the only one suffering, they all are also in this hurricane of chaos and death we call life. They are as much alive as you are. You always tried to evade looking into people, as the more you look, the more take it personally. You will try to understand them, help them, put yourself in their place. But do not do not look too deep into them or we will lose the edge which we need to do what we are required.]

[Do not forget, we are not allowed to die, the moment we die HE will take control over this body. We need make sure that not a single fraction of our body remains. He will spend every single fraction of his power to bend the fate and get this body. And THEY ALL know this, and are waiting for our death with glee.]

I can’t die.

Not yet, not here, not now.

I do not want to see another day, there is nothing good there waiting for me.

I want to end it all now. But I can’t.

Death is easy, living is hard.

New day shall come, and maybe, maybe it will be different.

Hope is not much, but it is all we have.