《I'm Just the Guard!》Interlude: Some Minor Reconstruction

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Matthew sighed as he overlooked one of the many, many castles in the game Raidscape. He knew that realism wasn't a major focus of the developers but they couldn't put just a little more effort in making things so basic? He was looking at Elden Keep right now and it just screamed 'I glanced at a Wiki page and this is what I came up with'. Everything was just so unprofessional, from the {Guards} to the castle design. Barracks? In a tower? Honestly, he was getting fed up with the laziness shown by his seniors on the developing team. Redesigning the entire game system six months after the game's release is just one aspect of the team's incompetence. Not to mention the fact that they barely did anything when the discovery of an NPC virus was discovered. Yes, that's right. They knew about that stupid hacker and they hadn't done anything for weeks. 'Giving sapience to an NPC Guard?' Tim, the assistant manager of the design team, had said. 'That guy has some serious balls on him.' 'It could've been a woman,' Mary, the goon from the marketing campaign said, having managed to sneak her way into the meeting room. And then the conversation devolved into an argument about the gender of the hacker. Accusations of sexism had been tossed and self-reflection had commenced. Meanwhile, Matt, the intern brat who'd been hoping to take notes on how his co-workers handled hackers, knew that his choice of companies to apprentice at had been a mistake. "The game is popular, they said," the young man grumbled. "You'll get so much experience, they said." "Matty!" a familiar voice cried. He sighed as his chair spun around. His face smacked into the bulging belly of his...acquaintance, Priscilla. He didn't know why the whale liked him so much; he tried to avoid her as much as possible but she seemed to know instinctively when he was trying to sneak some work in. She was part of the design team. Her main task was sketching out new weapons or tools. And while she was annoying and a pain in Matt's side, he had to admit - she was pretty darn good at her job. "What are you up to, buckaroo?" she asked, giving him a squeeze with her flabby arms. The sheer weight difference dragged him out of his chair and further into her body. He managed to extract himself from her folds and sat back in his chair. "I'm up to work," he said, turning back to his computer. It was company-issued; a standard device that was decent for some light programming. Anything too complex required him to bring out his own laptop. A further example of the careless attitude of the company. Why are the IT computers so terrible when their entire jobs revolve around messing with it? Sighing, he rubbed the wrinkles out of his brow. Priscilla was still hovering over him, leaning in so she could peer at his screen through her tiny glasses. "Elden Keep?" she muttered. "Ain't that the place with the, ah, what was it..." "The hacked NPCs?" he supplied. "Yes. Turns out, at least 22% of the NPCs stationed here are infected with the hacker's virus. Can you believe none of the team is trying to fix it? When I brought it up, Patrick-" "Patrick? You mean one of the marketers you're always complaining about?" "Yeah. Anyway, Patrick says it's good for PR so he's telling people not to worry about it. The guy only cares about money, I swear. It's like he doesn't understand how bad the virus could mess us up." "I see..." she mused, straightening back up. "Well, whaddya gonna do about it?" He sighed again. "I don't know..It's not like I have any power as an intern." "Well...why don't you try to make sure nothing bad does happen with the virus?" Matt squinted up at her. "It's a virus. It's all about doing bad things." "I'm not too sure about that," she said, plopping down into the seat next to him. The rolling chair groaned under her weight but, surprisingly, it held. "It's not hurtin' anything, is it? Just makin' the NPCs a lil' smarter." "Well, yes, but-" "So," she interrupted. "All you gotta do is make sure those genius NPCs ain't causing trouble in their castle. Spruce it up a little bit. Make 'em happy." Matt stared at his screen, which was constantly being updated with new information on Elden Keep and the surrounding region. "Hmm," he mused. "Make them happy, huh?" "You gettin' an idea?" Priscilla asked. "I think so," he said with a nod. "Hey, are you free for the next few days?" "The boss man said he was happy with my latest hammer," she said. "I reckon he'll let me alone for a day or two." Matthew grinned. "Then let's get to work!"

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