《I'm Just the Guard!》Wednesday Recap #1
Advertisement
You stand before a round oak door, nervous as you're working up the courage to enter the study. You pace back and forth, arguing on whether or not you should knock on the door. 36% of you say no, 20% say yes, and a worryingly 44% picked the funny-but-unhelpful option!
Finally, after griping with your inner self for so long, you give up and turn away from the door. But you hear someone clear their throat from inside the study.
"Oh, dear," says a youthful but elegant voice. "There's quite a bit of turmoil in you, young - or old, I'm not ageist - reader. Why don't you come inside for some tea?"
You freak out for a moment, wondering how the beautiful voice from behind the door could possibly be reading your mind. The voice laughs.
"I'm writing you, my dear!" it quipped. "Of course, I can read your mind! Now, come! I don't have all day, you know? I have stories to read myself."
Sighing, you shrug your shoulders. What's the worst that could happen? Your fate is in the voice's hands after all. You open the door with closed eyes, trying to wrangle in a sudden bout of existential dread. Trembling, you blindly walk over the threshold and into the study. You hear a crackling fireplace somewhere off to your left and the soft breathing of the study's only occupant.
"Finally," the voice grumbles pleasantly. You hear the sound of a cup clinking against a table and whisper-quiet footsteps padding towards you.
You freeze up, terrified that whatever approaches will end you right where you stand. You consider running, escaping down the hall where you might have a chance of leaving this dreadful place with your breath still in your body. Before you can move a muscle, however, you feel a small paw slap your leg, and the voice cry, "How do you do, reader?"
Advertisement
Jolting backward, you open your eyes in surprise not to see some ferocious beast of an author but...a small felt mouse with a fake totally real and super-duper handsome mustache and a big black K on its chest. The mouse wiggles its large, round ears at you in greeting, gesturing toward a table with two chairs on either side. "Shall we sit and have a cuppa?" it asked politely.
"Uh, er, sure," you mumble, unsure of how or why this...thing is a sapient being capable of producing some of the best work you've ever seen. You watch, intrigued, as the mouse skips over to a chair and, with one jump and a bit of a scramble, plops onto the seat.
"Well? What are you waiting for?"
"Ah, nothing..."
You quickly make your way to the other chair, sneakers loudly slapping against the dark wood floors. The mouse grimaces at the dirt you track into the room but says nothing, patiently pouring another cup of tea.
"I'm not English, you know. I just like impersonating them and their tea-addicted habits," it says, pushing the cup towards you. You take it, gratefully, and take a hesitant sip. It's good, you have to admit. No sign of any poisoning yet...
The mouse chuckles. "Relax! I'm not here to kill you; I promise!"
The words of reassurance did little to calm your anxiety but, for the moment, you force yourself to relax and wait for the mouse to finish taking a particularly big gulp of tea. You hold back a snort as the creature lets out a startled gasp when it spilled the tea, covering your mouth with your hand as it glared at you. It whipped a handkerchief out of the air and dabbed at its fluffy chest before tossing it back into nonexistence.
Advertisement
"So!" it finally begins. "What can I help you with?"
"I, um, I'm struggling a bit to keep up with your story," you begin shyly, twiddling your thumbs. "You kind of...jump all over the place and it's...difficult to follow-"
"Your bloodline is weak," the mouse deadpanned.
"Um...what?"
"Hm? Oh, the story structure is confusing? Deary me, that's unfortunate!"
"Y-yeah, so if you could limit the number of interludes-"
"You bring shame to your entire clan," the creature hissed.
"I, ack, what?"
"Pardon? Cut down on the interludes? I quite like the amount we have. They're sporadic, you know. I think maybe there's a different solution to this problem, don't you?"
"Um...no?"
The mouse laughed, throwing its head back. "Of course, you don't, silly reader. Did you even read the title?"
You look up, straining to see through the lines of text before your eyes see the words WEDNESDAY RECAP #1. "Oh...So then...Why's it taking you so long to get to the recap?"
"I got distracted," the mouse sighed. "Already 788 words in and I've gotten off-topic..."
"...Why don't you start now?"
The author perked up. "Oh, since you asked so nicely, why not? I suppose we'll start with Thursday's chapters. And by we, I mean me. You have no part in this."
"I-er, yeah, I guess..."
Thursday
We check back in on Crystal in chapter C.3 (I changed Interlude: Crystal to Crystal.1 so it makes a bit more sense that way.) and find she's lost her magic progress just as Flake has while re-gaining the class {Mage}. She then meets a Player in disguise going by the name 'Jerome' who agrees to help her find civilization. Meanwhile, in chapter 41, Flake is struggling to cope with the loss of his classes. He finds closure by practicing his skills only to further anger an irate NPC called Prisoner Jamarco, a political prisoner who's spent a decade in Elden Keep's dungeon.
Friday
We take yet another break from our scheduled programming to get a sneak peek at the exclusive content available to all patrons on my Patreon! There, we meet a young Myconid {Lady} going by the name of Liu Rijal who's been kidnapped by {Pirates} led by their fearsome captain, an Apeman called Kurt. This story is, of course, part of the extended Raidscape universe and will have no direct impact on Flake's story. Heading back to chapter 42, Flake nearly has yet another mental breakdown when he unknowingly triggers the responses to even more unnamed NPC prisoners.
"Well," the mouse says, brushing imaginary dirt off of its legs. It hops out of its chair and waddles over to you. "It's been fun recapping with you, readers, but I'm afraid our time together must end."
You protest as it grabs you with strength unbefitting its size and drags you towards the exit. "Ah, wait! Isn't there any more you can tell-"
The mouse kicks you in the butt, punting you out of existence.
Advertisement
- In Serial9 Chapters
Snow Flames
How do you feel when you find guilty people who live without any regrets? It's a drama, a revenge story full of excitement and sometimes tearsWhere it all started on the day that the Elite University holds the Reunion for the Class of 2015 or maybe since five years ago?
8 135 - In Serial9 Chapters
Faux Artificer
Having awakened to the worst set of proficiencies with no skills and bare minimum stats, Adam's dream of leaving the village he woke up in seven years ago seems hopeless. He gets a break though and is spirited away by a strange man to a strange tower. Decoding a cheat-like system, Adam is thrust upon a path of discovery and danger. Can he navigate a strange world while keeping his unique ability secret. Adam’s only choice is to fake it until you make it.
8 167 - In Serial14 Chapters
The One, The Enlightened
@ito_michiaki IG. Be There. The truth will prevail........ Everything you need to know....Michiaki Ito and Raiden Ito are two inseparable siblings. They and their childhood friends Hikari, Akihito, and Miyuki can accomplish anything together and back each other up. However, something would put their friendship to the test. It all started when their school mysteriously gets closed due to a publicly announced fire breakout. The group instantly realizes that this is not true and while they try to figure out what is wrong, Ito's parents are called to the school and never come back. At that moment, the group decides to secretly enter the school to investigate. Will their findings bring anything to the table? Searching through the school, the group stumbles across a scrambled note and a mysterious crystal. The school is empty and they could not find anyone else. Returning from school, they meet Kyouko, a girl who experts in those kinds of strange disappearances. With the help of Kyouko, they learn that the crystal is a part of the 9 Rivals, which are 9 magically powered crystals each one having a unique effect. Kyouko decides to help the group resolve the mystery of the school's incident and rescue Ito's parents.
8 155 - In Serial64 Chapters
Awakening
This story was previously known as "The Awakening".~*~"One... two... three... one... two... three... a million... is that number right?" A figure less voice echoed."Hello? Who's there?" Caliope asked, focusing on that voice."One... two... who? A million... a billion... no, it's more... a legion..."Silence. She had seen too many horror movies and heard too many stories about that single word to overpass its meaning. The voice went quiet, yet she was still unable to see where it came from. She rubbed her eyes and all she could see around her was a thick path in a jungle-like scene. She didn't remember how she got there, but she knew it was for something important. Her eyes focused on the far end of the path and all she could see were more trees. She turned to the opposite side and found just the same."One... two... billions... but always back at one..." the voice resumed it's counting."Where are you? Who are you?"~*~-Her name is Caliope, and when she was a young girl, she never believed in happy endings. For her, there was nothing more than what you see in front of you. All she needed was her best friend Vanessa.Her background is very simple; a foster child with foster parents that were everything but warm and caring. Regardless of that, she became a smart and responsible young woman, ready for whatever came her way. At least that is what she thought.Her new job interview changed her life. It changed everything she ever believed in, and what she thought it was real. Her new boss is an amazing woman who has a son, something different from what he is made out to be.As she discovers the hidden truth about her boss and her son, she has to prepare herself for a whole new world that will unfold to her.~*~Intro collaboration with my loyal reader @GabrielleCardenOriginal Picture from the cover made by Marcus J. Ranum~*~This story has erotic scenes, religious perspectives, and judgment. Be warned and read at your own risk.
8 200 - In Serial12 Chapters
Just a bunch of OneShots, please request anything!There is smut- so yee, if you don't like it just skip it
8 68 - In Serial24 Chapters
3 Twin Demonic Brothers || MXTX Crossover AU
an crossover au of what if...Hua Cheng, also known as Crimson Rain Flower Sought, just happened to bump into someone in black and red, hair tied in ponytail as he took a walk at somewhere alone, waiting for his beloved highness, The Flower Crown Martial God, Xie Lian to finish his job at Heavenly Realm. He sensed the said latter's soul was not belong to that body, but somehow his mind, more like a memory, triggered him that it reminded him that the said latter 'was' one of his family... Brother?He tired to shake off his mind by helping the latter. As that latter looked up, that hit him. No wonder why he still want his highness call him 'San Lang', he actually has a brother! He knew his made-up story was something else as he just said it out of his mind without him realising. The soul's appearance was indeed look familiar to his. This is indeed his biogical family.Yes, an crossover au of Luo BingHe, being the oldest twin, Wei WuXian, the middle twin and Hua Cheng, the youngest twin!All the characters are not mine, all the characters belong Mo Xiang Tong Xiu! (making ocs in the future just incase) Art belongs to do6skun (i forgot which platfrom, pls forgive this lowly author) a/n:yes, this is my very first fanfic and hope you guys dont mind my grammar and the mistake :). this fanfic is inspired by Waffle_Lulu-chen :)and yes the very main ship here are bingqiu, wangxian and hualian as i barely ship the other (especially like fengqing and xicheng but i actually love beefleaf). will put tw on top of any chapter and may contain disturbing. and no smut bc, just bc.[ started : 31st Jan ] [ ended : 17th Feb ]
8 99

