《I'm Just the Guard!》35: Mace Guards
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After my episode with the acolyte, I had every intention of keeping low and staying out of any unnecessary trouble. Unfortunately, once the holy man left, the mace {Guards} cornered me against the far wall of the lobby, blocking me from the view of other passersby. The two women towered over me, casting their shadows wide and far as they stared into my soul. The less manly looking one spoke first.
"What was the deal with you and Preacher Ike?"
I cleared my throat, resting one hand on my sticks as I straightened up. "What's it to you?"
The more manly looking one shoved me into the wall, pressing her mitt into my chest. I exhaled harshly, feebly grasping at her wrist as her hand tried to crush my rib cage.
"I was apologizing-gak-and telling him I'd-urg-come to service!"
Her eyes lit up and she released me, patting my shoulder gently. Then she went still like a statue. The less manly looking one gave me a warm smile as she unstuck me from the wall.
"Wow, what a misunderstanding, right?" she said, giggling slightly. "Who knew there were more Johans working at the keep?"
"Ahaha, yeah..." I muttered, rubbing my chest. "It's a, ah, recent development."
Her eyes gleamed with unpleasant delight. "You're a new believer, then?"
"You could say that..."
"Well, Wing and I are always happy to welcome a new brother to the faith," she said, clapping me on the shoulder. I winced as her metal gauntlet squeezed my poor bones for an uncomfortable few seconds. "I'm Rella, by the way. And you are?"
"Flake."
"Interesting name!"
I could say the same for you. "Sure is. Hey, I've got to get debriefed now that I'm off my shift. You know where I should go for that?"
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"Deb-" She stopped, staring off into space as her eyes twitched and her mouth flopped open and closed.
Uh-oh. Is this my fault?
"Um, Rella?" I looked at Wing but the mute, manly woman only shrugged, lifted one gauntlet, and backhanded Rella across her face.
Reflexively using [Burst] to pull me out of harm's way, I watched as the gigantic woman teetered backward. She kept the blank look even as she fell with a loud clang to the tiled flooring. A nearby girl in {Maid's} clothing shrieked while the other {Guards} sighed in contempt. Apparently this was normal?
"I-is she okay?!"
Wing shrugged again, raising her leg over Rella's chest in an obvious attempt to stomp her friend into the underworld. I stopped her quickly, noticing Rella's face had returned to some semblance of normalcy. She blinked a couple of times before groaning and struggling to her feet. I moved to help her but she waved me off when I grabbed her arm.
"I got it, I got it," she muttered. She stood, tall and proud, and frowned at Wing. "Hit me a little harder next time, won'tcha? I didn't feel that slap at all! What kinda backhand was that?"
Wing grunted, made a threatening fist, and went back to statue form.
Rolling her eyes, Rella turned to me. "Come on, Flakey boy! I'll show you where the {Debriefer} is!"
She grabbed my arm, pulling me through the thinning crowd of Keep inhibitors with Wing on our heels. I let myself be dragged along-partly because I'd probably lose my arm if I tried to pull away-and asked, "{Debriefer}? Why does that sound like a class name?"
"Because it is! Our {Debriefer} is the best you'll find out here. You won't find him slacking till the Underworld freezes over!"
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