《Exhuman》417. 2252, Present Day. Aboard a VTOL, heading west. Athan.
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I'd never really hung up on anyone before. It occurred to me that for most of my life, I'd just chatted with my friends in person whenever we had much to say. I used messenger, sure, but when the meat of your conversation was gonna be 'let's hang out' anyway, why not just hang out?
And then I became Exhuman, and I traded football for lightning and my mobile for comms. Aside from taking it out, turning it off, or changing to a private channel, there wasn't really any hanging up on people with comms. Not that I ever had a lot of reason to. Cosette was a grump, but she was our grump.
But this call was on the phone. I had plenty of reason to hang up, with all the shit I had to do, and I wasn't exactly enjoying the chat, explaining repeatedly in excruciating detail, every step that we'd ever taken to prevent this kind of catastrophe, every contingency we'd ever made and how each of them had failed.
And after I'd explained all that, he said "Explain to me how you allowed this situation to happen." And that was pretty much it for me. I pulled the mobile away from my ear like it was a slug. Did this guy not live in the same world we did? Did he not know what an Exhuman was, or see what Justice was capable of? Did he just watch the reports so he had enough material to ream me, instead of comprehending that gee, that guy is really off-the-charts.
So yeah. I hesitated just a moment, before hanging up. At which, Saga cackled and AEGIS' jaw dropped.
"You didn't--" she said, her eyes wide.
"He's being a prick."
"He's the president of the United States!" she flailed. My phone rang again, and her bafflement redoubled as I hit ignore. "Athan, what are you doing?"
"Is he causing trouble?" Karu's joked from the helm. "Do I need to turn this VTOL around?"
"Athan just hung up on the president!" AEGIS said, with the tone of one telling the teacher. "The president of the United States!"
Saga blew some hair out of her face derisively, her gangly arms entwined in the seat harness in a way that would definitely make her dead if we ever got in a crash. "Oh no!" she lamented with an enthusiasm never heard outside of sarcasm. "Athan's gonna lose his job! We'll all become homeless and poverty-stricken, forced to sell our bodies on street corners to get by."
"Even if you're joking, the fact is, the president's already talked about shutting down the agency, remember?" AEGIS pushed her glasses up. Her harness was, of course, in pristine order. "After we were putting pressure on them to get Athan released, and more seriously after the New Eden breakout. He said the country lacks faith in the XPCA and homeland defense and special police units would be more than enough."
"Which is just fucking wrong," I added.
"It is," she agreed. "But the fact remains that he personally has an axe for the agency, and you are giving him legitimacy in wanting it taken down and what are you doing, Athan? He's the friggin' president, and you're blowing him off. Do you want the XPCA falling apart during this crisis?"
I sighed. As much as she had a point, there was also no way I'd consider wasting the next month and several boxes of crayons explaining.
I really wished Lia could field these calls, but she was overseeing some diplomatic negotiations with the panic in New Eden. Cosette was an option, but she was right around my equal in level of respect for authority. Moon and Tem were deployed. Whitney wasn't what I'd call a talker...and was probably the most divorced from the rest of us opinion-wise, I wouldn't want her writing promises the rest of us had to keep. And AEGIS, Karu, and Saga were here with me.
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Which really left TARGA, but yeah, fuck no. I'd rather he shut us down than give him inroads to run the agency through her. Besides, he was demanding to speak to the director, otherwise I could have just pawned him off on any random general.
My mobile rang again, and I considered strongly just turning it off.
"Ooh, let me!" Saga pleaded. "I've always had a few ideas for how America could be improved that I've wanted to run by the president. Don't you think we have a shocking lack of spikes?"
I stared at her, confused, as I again ignored the call. "Spikes?"
"Oh yeah. You see it all the time in vids and media. The evil empire always starts putting spikes in all their clothes and architecture, all the better to impale people on. We need trenches filled with spikes around every city, spikes on every rooftop to let the heavens know just how welcome they are, spikes on every traffic sign to remind people, speed limit sixty. Or fuckin' else."
"Saga, shut up," I asked. "This is serious right now."
She shrugged. "If it's so serious, why aren't I back at the Raven's Nest running things?"
"Were you not listening?" AEGIS asked.
"Eh, prolly not. Was it you talking? I tend to tune you out after a sentence or two. It's always long-winded exposition and technobabble. And when it's Athan, I try to stare at his lips and imagine what those words would feel like if they were pressed against--"
"Saga," I cut in. "For starters, there's hardly anyone in the Raven's Nest anymore. After we were shipping out, so was everyone else. We're beginning evacuation of all major cities."
She fished in her ear with a pinky. "Oh. Yeah, I remember something like that. You were like, Denver? And I was like, Denver? I hardly know 'er!"
"The fact that this woman is the nerve center of our agency does explain a fair bit," Karu's voice came from the front. "It is a wonder this collapse had not come sooner."
"And second," I soldiered on, "We need you."
"Aww, shucks. I need you too," she grinned. "Like right now. Come on, tear my pants if you have to, don't waste another second."
"We need you to mindfuck Oasis for us," AEGIS spat. "If you can get their armies and weapons on our side instead of off terrorizing the world, they stand a good chance of being able to hold Justice back."
"Aww, so I have to keep my pants on? Hm, although I guess you didn't specify how I convince them to join us. Think I could be the next Helen of Troy? The bony ass that launched a thousand ships?"
"Let's keep that as plan B," I continued. "Plan A, you get your head into their tree, you hijack it, we have a shitton of weapons and mentally-enslaved bastards to do some fighting for us."
Saga sighed dramatically. "You know I can't say no to weapons and mentally-enslaved bastards. You really know how to tickle my buttons."
"Push your buttons?" AEGIS asked.
Saga gave a shrug. "Whatever gets you off."
"I know it's not in your nature," I continued again, "but you are kind of instrumental to the plan. Could you please, please, focus a little?"
"Fine." Saga crossed her arms. "Such a buzzkill. You know, I haven't left that stinking XPCA edifice in weeks, and when you finally do take me out somewhere, it's all do this, do that, save the world, and never a fancy dinner and an unfancy hotel."
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"But you don't eat. Or sleep," AEGIS argued.
"Well, we'd just fuck anyway, would be the plan."
"Then…" she looked at me and paused, as though not sure why she was persisting, but I could see the confusing itching at her. "Then why the restaurant?"
"What, you've never had food sex?" Saga cackled.
"Okay, I officially regret asking. Never mind. Karu, how are we on an ETA?"
I heard her shuffle a bit at the helm before she replied. "There exists news both good and bad, as it were. The good is that with the Sirius we are making better time than originally anticipated. The bad is that agency resources are currently stretched thin, and we will have to stop to refuel in San Francisco before crossing the Pacific rather than picking up a new bird."
"That doesn't sound so bad," I commented.
Karu laughed, but not a pleasant one. "You have never seen an aircraft fueled before, I take it. I estimate an hour and a half delay, minimum."
"What? That long? Don't they just jam the hose in and turn it off when it's full?"
"There are a plethora of factors, not the least of which being distribution of fuel in differing tanks across the vehicle to ensure even weight distribution, precautions to minimize the chance of a static or frictional spark detonating all in a conflagration, and the availability of a fuel team to begin with. It is very little like fueling one's car, in practice."
I swore. "Can't we authorize ourselves to jack some other flight? Like, shit, there's gotta be another VTOL in the city somewhere. This is an emergency."
AEGIS responded with a slow shake of her head. "Even though that's true, a state of emergency was declared in all major cities. San Francisco is being evacuated too, and any available vehicles would be in use, not just lying around. Even if we could 'jack' one like you say, it wouldn't exactly be fueled up for a trip over the ocean either."
Well that was stupid. It was impressive how much time I spent being the XPCA director and feeling powerless. My mobile rang again, as though to remind me, and this time I turned off the ringer.
"I guess we help with the evacuations as we can, then. Not sure what all there is for us to do, but we can do it."
"Oh dear me," a new voice chimed in on comms, and I already knew what was coming. "It sounded to me like someone had to stop breathing out of their mouth to pitch that idea."
"TARGA, be nice," AEGIS warned. She sounded almost playful though, like the owner of a dog that kept charging in and bowling people over but never willing to put a leash on them. I had to stare at her in bewilderment as she just gave me an apologetic shrug, like that was just how TARGA do.
"I'm always nice. Normally when I see an ape in the wild, I have it tranqued and put back in the zoo. This one is permitted to be on comms channels, and stink up my VTOLs."
"Normally, when I see a cockroach, I step on it," I informed her.
"Please, don't bruise your brain cell for my benefit."
"Which is kind of ironic, considering you don't have any. Just a simulation of them. Sad, really."
"Wow, Athan, that's super rude," AEGIS informed me.
"I meant her."
"I know what you meant. I am commenting on what you said."
"But--"
"That's like if you argued that she was a bitch because all women were bitches. While in a plane full of women."
"One of whom is piloting," Karu added, helpfully. Despite not actually saying that, somehow I was getting death glares anyway.
"...sorry. I just meant her."
"What was that?" TARGA pounced. "Sounded like a shit apology to me?"
"Don't you jump all over him either. You started this," AEGIS turned on her. "Do I have to separate the two of you?"
"No," we muttered in unison. And then it was awkwardly quiet for a few moments as the insults stopped as quickly as they'd began.
AEGIS cleared her throat. "Well, if we'd just be in the way of the evacuation, I suppose our only task is to make sure we are fully prepared for the trip, and besides that, have some time to kill. Anything we want to see or do? San Francisco was our little home away from home for a while there."
I gave it a moment of thought. It wasn't exactly a great time in my life. I'd lost my leg, which became a permanent disability. AEGIS, Whitney, and I were living out of a tent in a campground, without any real money or resources. I'd lost Lia to the XPCA and Moon to her father, and was feeling depressed and useless.
"Uh, nothing jumps to mind. Maybe I'll just wait on-base."
"Nonsense," AEGIS decided. "We'll be in the air forever, you need to stretch your legs. If nothing else, we can go back to that park with a pagoda and hindu shrine we wished at before."
"What, really?" I stared at her. "We agreed it was superstitious nonsense."
"Maybe so. But my wish came true," she winked at me. "Given we have the time, I wouldn't mind going back and saying thanks. Or, y'know, making an even more greedy wish."
"Like...Justice being defeated and the world returning to sanity?"
"Sure," she grinned. "Wish for whatever you want."
"Ooh, I'll wish for a pony," Saga chirped. "Made of rainbows. And meat."
"I would wish for a v2 Eblazer Artorias," Karu commented. "A singular round from such would put our issues with Justice to rest...and many other problems in the future, besides."
"I'd wish for whatever AEGIS wishes for," TARGA added. Completely unnecessarily, because she was, as far as I saw it, an insufferable suck-up.
"Even if it was something involving Athan?" AEGIS batted her eyes at me sideways.
I could almost hear TARGA's harsh breathing over the comms. "S...s-sure. Maybe I'd wish for you to come to your senses and find someone more suitable instead."
"I wish you'd shut the fuck up," I said.
"Well I wish you'd die."
"Children...please…" AEGIS sighed.
"Look, can we not," I argued. "The world is going to shit. What's Justice been up to since we launched, cockroach?"
"He has continued his western-trending rampage, Ape. Memphis was eradicated, and he seems en-route towards Denver."
"So you see," I turned to AEGIS. "You know as well as I do how fucked we're all getting right now. I don't really have the inclination to waste time traipsing through an evacuation zone to pray at some stupid shrine for love. I just want us all to focus on what needs to get done. I expect this shit from Saga, and TARGA can obviously be full of shit and work at the same time. But you and me...we need to focus." I shook my head. "Or maybe I need to focus."
She looked at me for long moments, during which, again, I thought I could hear TARGA's breath. And then she frowned.
"Athan, I disagree. There's no benefit you'll gain by just sitting inside your own head and killing yourself. Get out, stretch your legs, see what the city's like, remind yourself of why we do all of this. We have this chance to pause, and I think it's critical to take it. Things are coming to a head, and we don't know the next time we'll be able to slow down...or…"
She swallowed hard, and her hand found my knee and gave me a firm squeeze. She didn't need to say it, we all knew, but she continued on anyway, her voice more gentle.
"Or even if we'll all be alive after this. So...while I'd like to say it's important for you, and as your self-appointed caretaker, I think you should…" She paused, seeming to check Saga and my faces to gauge our response before finishing. Then took a deep breath. "Well, the fact is, even if that's true, I'd like to go. For me. And I'd like you to come. All of you. My friends."
Karu and Saga aww'd in unison, though how sarcastically, I couldn't tell. And while I still thought it was probably a stupid waste of time, apparently I had that time to waste, and wasn't going to not give it to her after a speech like that.
"I've never...had a friend before," TARGA sniffled.
"Dude, she wasn't talking to you," I snipped.
"Shut up. Don't try to take this from me."
"She was talking about us going to the shrine together. You're not even here. How could you possibly misconstrue that?"
"I...shut up, Ape. She spoke to all of us. I was included."
"Yeah, over my dead body." I glanced at AEGIS to gauge her approval, but she seemed deliberately neutral in poise.
To my surprise, it was Saga who answered me, her face serious for fucking once. "Athan, if they want to be friends, don't be a dick."
I blinked at her. "What?"
"You heard me. Let them be friends."
"W...what?"
"Do I need to shout it in your head? [Let them be friends!]"
I winced, and the VTOL dipped slightly, followed by Karu's elegantly strung-together insults of choice.
"I'm just super lost where you became some kind of appointed guardian of TARGA," I explained. "Do you not remember the whole fucking bit where TARGA imprisoned, tortured, and broke you?"
She rolled her eyes. "If you're arguing that was the same TARGA, then you've got no reason to hate her."
"Again. For the third time now, what?"
Saga ticked off on her fingers. "That Targa that you hated died, and took that AEGIS which you loved with her. So if you're saying this Targa's the same, it only follows that this AEGIS is the same too. In which case, your gal never died, and you've got no beef."
"I'm not saying that. I'd never fucking say that. AEGIS died that day, protecting me."
Saga shrugged. "Then you accept that and this AEGIS are different people. Just like that and this TARGA are. So give it a rest and let them have their weird sorority-sister friendship thing going on."
"Also," Karu added from the helm. "Not to provoke success in this relationship endeavor, but it is never a good look to forbid your partner from having friends, as it were."
I had to pause to reel for a moment. "What? What the hell brought this on? Why are you all ganging up on me?"
"It's okay," AEGIS assured us...them more than me, it seemed. "Athan's an idiot and I know it. But I appreciate it, guys."
"I am so lost," I told her.
She just smiled. "They have some strong feelings about specific things, you big dummy. You pushed some buttons."
"Tickled some buttons," Saga corrected.
"I uh, don't get it. But I'm sorry," I told Saga.
She just gave me half a smirk and then a mental impression of a time that felt so long ago, a memory of her and AEGIS finally bonding, finally becoming friends, a ragged friendship which finally bloomed after a hundred years of betrayal and dispute. So things were...complicated there.
But any further understanding had to be put on hold, as we were coming up on the city now, dipping below the clouds with a bit of turbulence which made Saga and her ill-equipped harness almost punch herself in the jaw. She muttered in irritation as we laughed.
"All right, preparing for touchdown," Karu commented, flipping switches and pulling the VTOL slower and more level with every moment. "I know not your plans, but I for one, will accompany AEGIS on her pilgrimage. Making a wish is a ritual I have no reservations in observing."
"I'll tag along," Saga said. "Though it might just be fun to stroll through the city and soak up the panic as everyone flees. Might be the closest I get to feeling like Godzilla." She shrugged. "Until Athan dies and I can go on that dream rampage vacation I've always dreamed of."
"Sure, I guess I'll go too. For you," I told AEGIS. "And I'm sorry about being an insensitive ass so much this flight."
"Well, we have a whole 'nother flight in an hour or two, so you can try again then," she grinned. "I know you're stressed about the whole...Justice destroying the world thing. We all are. We're just better at being full of shit the day before it all goes to hell."
"What, this isn't everything going to hell?" I asked. "He's gonna destroy every city in America. Maybe then, the world."
"Sure," she agreed. "And that's super fucking awful and we're doing what we can. But it's not hell. Not just yet."
"Then...what is?"
Her eyes were still sparkling yellow, her smile luminous and genuine.
"When you decide you can't take anymore, and go off to fight him" Her voice was lively, despite her words. "When you sign up to die."
"I don't think that's happening," I told her.
But she just smiled more broadly, like there was somehow a joke here I just wasn't getting. "Sure," she agreed. "We'll see who knows you better, when it comes to the end."
I shook my head. "Even I'm not that stupid."
"We'll see."
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