《Exhuman》404. 2252, Present Day. Quiet home, Bethesda, MD. Athan.
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It was a weird phrase I didn't exactly get, but right now, it was too quiet.
We'd left the Raven's Nest at five PM sharp, driven home in about half an hour, and then AEGIS had begun to cook. I was sitting at the table, presumably keeping her company and trying to match her small-talk, none of which was about the XPCA or her breakdown or Saga or my hospitalization, And any attempt to bring such up was met with a curt response and a swift change of subject.
"...I learned this the other day, thought you might be interested, but apparently the Army-Navy game is being held nearby here this year. If we're still around in the winter, would you want to go?"
There was nothing in her voice to make it sound cloying, nor fake, I heard it that way all the same.
"Meh. I don't know why that game gets all the hype. I think the Air-force/XPCA game is the best one every time. Speaking of XPCA...are we going to talk about today?"
I heard the sound of pots clattering out of my sight. The small dining room I was in had fallen victim to sunset, and I was talking to her through a doorway, which was by appearances, a gateway to heaven, based on the light and sounds and smells.
But heaven held very little interest for me right now. Not with all the earthly affairs we had to tie up still.
"Oh sure," she said. "I still wanted your input on what kind of salad dressing you wanted, though."
"Um, don't care. Caesar. Ranch. Whatever's white and creamy."
She giggled. "You're white and creamy. And by creamy, I mean dreamy." She popped into the doorway long enough to solicit me with a crude jerking-off gesture. "Also, creamy."
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I seriously questioned.
She disappeared back into the light of the room and the sounds of cooking resumed. "Just tryin' to solicit the guy I like for a little action. Here I am with this rockin' bod and the amazing multitasking capacity to bang and cook at the same time like some nineteen-fifties dream wife, and you've never once taken advantage."
"Yeah, you're not getting 'any action', because we're not currently a thing. And speaking of multitasking, are you planning to come back to work? When I spoke with Saga, she seemed to think they really need you over there."
She made a noncommittal noise. "Are you going to turn on the lights in there? You'll hurt your eyes sitting in the dark."
"Can you just answer my questions?" I sighed.
"You haven't answered mine."
"I asked you first, and mine's actually important."
She popped into the room for a moment and clicked on the light. I squinted at the newfound glare, and at the sleek black of her uniform. We hadn't been dress shopping yet, and her old outfit was still torn, so for the moment, by appearances, I had a wife cooking for me in full military dress. Bare feet emerging from her pants, but otherwise. And then as fast as she came, she went again.
"AEGIS, you're being painfully, painfully transparent in trying to sidestep any XPCA conversation. Please."
The kitchen sounds ended with a violent clatter, and I felt my heart racing in way that only the sinking sensation of fucking up could do. She did not choose to manifest in the doorway, choosing to let her voice alone come in here to berate me.
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"Because, Athan, we had an arrangement. I was supposed to work there and come home every night and unplug. And then I didn't, for three days. And then I nearly killed you."
"Yeah, and that was obviously a mistake. But leaving work at five sharp? Refusing to talk about it at home? I know that...getting too involved is a scary thing, but we can talk about it."
"I put rules down. Unplug. And did we follow those rules? No. And bad things happened. So now we are, and you're not going to bitch about it."
"You said unplug, like, physically unplug. You're unplugged, right now."
"You can't tell me what I meant. I meant unplug, entirely. Turn off work mode. Turn on lovey-dovey lifey-wifey mode."
I shook my head at the empty room. And then for good measure, popped up to turn the light back off. More comfortable in here without. "It's not like it's dangerous to just talk about shit afterwards. That's what a lovey-dovey lifey-wifey does, isn't it? Ask about my day? Talk about hers?"
"Except," she said, starting to cook again by the sound of it. Chopping something now, and thus becoming a knifey-lifey-wifey. "That I don't want to engage about work. I want to engage with you, about things that are not about me, or my computer side, or anything even touching that shit."
"By being fake as hell, you mean. And refusing to talk about the stuff that seriously matters."
"Or," her head popped into the doorway for a moment, and glared at me. "You could just humor me and not talk about work." She vanished again, but the curt tone of her voice lingered. "You know, like a properly appreciative hubby."
"I'm not exactly clear on when we became wifey and hubby but I didn't approve this."
"I take what I can," she giggled.
I sighed. "Okay. I know I'm being insensitive to your wants. I know I just want to get this shit...this very important, possibly world-shaping shit all sorted out, what with things at the XPCA coming to a head, and Saga's proposal that we head it off as it does. And that you just want to put all that away and be with me instead."
She appeared in the doorway again, knife and carrot in hand, which she was apparently peeling in one continuous motion.
"And that you want to be you, and work makes you not able to be you, and talking about work is like...I dunno...complimenting a girl on some part of her she hates. Like her cankles or something."
She gave me only half a glare. So I was improving.
"So you are paying attention," she commented, before the carrot was finished and she went back in for more chopping.
"But," I finished. "I think I got my answer. I think we're all set."
She re-appeared with a bowl in her hands, turning on the light with the last of her glowering and brightening up at me along with the room. The salad she placed in front of me appeared restaurant-quality, if not better.
"Fresh buttermilk ranch," she commented. "It's supposed to be miles better than the shelf stuff."
I took a bite, and it definitely was. Creamy as hell, but applied sparingly through the bowl so as to coat everything, rather than just being thrown carelessly on top. I suspected too, that there was less of it than a normal human might toss in there, because AEGIS did tend to weigh the nutritional values of foods pretty highly in her presentation. But the fact that there was dressing at all in there, to say nothing of real creamy buttermilk dressing...it showed she did care about flavor. It was healthy, or at least healthier, but still so good.
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My eyes almost watered as I gave AEGIS a smile and a reassuring thumbs-up. God, it was great to have a version of her who could cook.
The food distracted me from my conclusion only for a moment, and I had to force myself to pause long enough to get it out.
I swallowed and wiped my lips on a napkin. "But I think, in the end, as I said, I got my answer."
"Which is?" she asked.
"You are planning to come back. Despite everything."
"And what makes you so confident of that?"
"Because, all the rules you've made up and applied, they were all implemented to set limits on…" I tried to come up with a better phrasing, but couldn't. "On how much damage you're doing to yourself by working. So if you're still pushing for keeping those limits, that means they're the limit of something else, right? So you're coming back."
She frowned at me and kinda wavered on the spot. I could see her thinking, conflicted. She probably just wanted to go back in the kitchen and check on her main course, but also wanted to have this talk...but also wanted to avoid this talk more than anything.
"Well. Yes. And no," she finally admitted while I got back into the salad. Tomatoes and carrots and little shreds of red onion, which were spicy without being overpowering. Saga might have enjoyed this if she wasn't still at the Raven's Nest. "I think we all know I can't just completely leave you hanging. I would hate to see you fail if there's anything I could do to help."
I nodded, mouth crammed of food.
"But also," she fretted, darkly. "I hate it. I'm miserable. I can't have a moment of self-reflection without despising what I do and become. Which just makes me less likely to have those moments -- or want to talk about work," she gave me a shadowy glare. And then sighed. "Which just is yet another incidental force which pushes me to turn off that part of my brain and just work more."
"But can't--" I swallowed. "Can't you just...be like a normal person and deal with work you hate? Nobody who works a nine-to-five is like, in love with it. It sucks, they do it, and then they come home and...I don't know, I'd say 'relax' except your idea of relaxing is cooking a...whole goose or whatever."
"Turkey pot pie."
I shook my head. "Or whatever."
"I get addicted to work. I'm a workaholic, and a real junkie," she pulled at her hair. "It feels so good, feels so right, feels useful and...y'know, completes me. And I hate that. It is literally an addiction, and I feel like you're asking me to be like a druggy who has to hit up just a little bit every day. It's insane."
I sat in relative silence for a while, eating. When no reply was forthcoming, she popped back into the kitchen to check the oven and then reappeared.
"I don't...suppose, you've considered that you might be happier giving up on me," I suggested.
"No."
"You'd have your work. If it was a conscious choice, instead of like failing--"
"No, end of discussion." She crossed her arms.
"But you said it yourself how it completes you."
"Yeah, except it completes a different me than me. Like, maybe a different AEGIS might have gone for that, but not one like Prime or like me. We picked our goal, and we're dead-set on gunning for it."
"But the XPCA--"
"They can burn and the world can go to hell if it has to, Athan. I'm serious about not changing on this one."
"You'd seriously let the whole world go up in flames, instead of giving up on me?"
She stared at me, her electric-yellow eyes icey. "It's your dream to save the world, right? If I came down to it, you'd sacrifice anything for that."
I shook my head. "Probably."
"Even me."
I looked down at the remains of my plate. Just shreds and dregs. I didn't answer, which was probably an answer in itself.
"Because that's who you are and that's what you believe. I don't take it as a criticism or failure. You have your beliefs and goals, and as much as I'd hate it, as much as I'd die and be miserable, and curse you forever, if you threw me away to achieve your goal, I know that's just because that's who you are and how much that belief matters to you, more than anything or anyone."
"I wouldn't--"
"If it came down to it, be with me or save the world, I know which you'd choose. But you also know which I would. We're different."
I wasn't prepared for this sudden dive into the extreme. Sacrificing AEGIS was about the last thing on my mind at the moment. We were just talking salad and work.
She continued. "I know it. You know it. We'd argue and discuss and debate and cry, but if that choice came to either of us, we'd make the ones we'd make. I'd burn the world, and you'd burn me. And I don't think anything could ever change that. So you don't see how shitty it is that you're pushing me into changing that part about myself?"
"No, because...I mean...I disagree with you. I want you to change, at little, at least."
"And how would you feel if someone changed you, so that when it came time to choose, you'd let the world burn?"
I didn't have an answer.
"Yeah." She got up to go back to the kitchen. "So consider that perspective when you're telling me it's just work, or just a little change. Consider how eroding something so fundamental to you might feel."
I stood up to go with her. She permitted me to wash my dish and put it away before shooing me out of her work zone, and so I lingered in the doorway, leaning against it, watching her bustle, but wasn't really there.
She'd really gotten me with that one.
It'd been pretty stupid of me to think of it from just my perspective. Of course asking her to give up her biggest dream was a shitty thing to do. But she had other dreams, ones she was possibly better suited for, ones no other person could fulfill. Like running the whole XPCA, like building a better world.
Of course, she'd argue that nobody was better suited to love me. She'd built a body specifically to do it. She'd tailored her appearance and personality to suit mine. She'd learned how to cook, sew, triage, and god-knows how many other things to be of service to me. Maybe there were others who could love me, but she did her damndest to be irreplaceable there. And she'd made it very clear she was the only one looking out for my interests even more than me.
To ask her to change any of that...even if it suited me, having it thrown in the contrast of someone asking me to stop giving a shit about saving the world? Fuck that seemed fucked. Just how much of a bad guy was I? I could hardly believe I'd just casually asked her if she'd ever considered giving up on me.
And somehow she was still there, still working away over a hot stove, making food she couldn't even taste, couldn't even eat, all for me. Even after I say shit like that.
I stumbled in and landed on her with a hug, to both of our surprise. She half-turned in my arms with alarm, but a smile.
"Oh?" she asked.
"Sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"For being such a huge ass. For...trying to make you change to suit my needs."
Her arms gently wrapped around my shoulders, hands not touching me to keep them clean for cooking. Or maybe to keep my back clean from what she had been.
"It's okay. You're a dumbass. I knew this a long time ago. But I really appreciate you taking the time to reflect on it."
"It was super not okay. I'm sorry."
She gave me a cheeky smile that seemed to say that everything was fine now. One hug, and all the issues hanging over us had gone away.
And then she kissed me. Not terribly long, but on the mouth, my nose filled up with her unique scent, bubblegum and eraser shavings.
"I was only half-kidding about being able to fuck and cook at the same time," she suggested.
"I think I'll keep those separate. Erm. Not to make any promises. Let's stick with the first one. I mean, the second one."
She gave me a knowing smile and a couple bouncy poses as we separated. I had to be an idiot for constantly turning her down. Like, fuck.
But just like she'd pick me first, I picked my work. I sighed as I pulled away. We could fool around later, if our relationship survived the whole end of the world shit we were constantly butting up against.
"Next time I'll just cook a big ol' thing of whipped cream and coconut oil," she winked. "And I'll do it naked. Maybe an apron. We'll see who's keeping those separate then," she grinned.
I tried very hard not to think of AEGIS wearing nothing but coconut oil and whipped cream and failed very hard.
She was about to say something else when the oven beeped, and her coy smile changed to an excited one. She bustled for a moment and then drew forth a beautifully golden-brown pie, the top patterned with a fine cross-crossing weave, interlaced with spirals of rosebuds, all rendered in flakey crust.
"Wow," I commented. "It's huge. And...gorgeous. When did you have time to make all this...artistic shit?"
"Oh I'm just that good," she said, proud as fuck as she eyed her handiwork. "And I made it large so the others had dinner around, too. Lia, Whitney, Cosette, and Karu. And Tem."
"Well it looks incredible."
"Enough gaping," she said, with a dismissive wave and a small blush. "Tell me how it tastes already."
Dinner was lively and light, and the pie tasted as good as it looked. AEGIS sat and laughed with me, talking about all the variations of pot pie she'd researched, and the different metrics she'd used to combine and judge the recipes. She'd gone as far as running simulations in her head, for what kinds of consistency and how many parts-per-million of each ingredient there would be per bite, cross-referenced against human reviews and how each seasoning reacted chemically through cooking, immersion, solution, and the like.
It was actually kind of insane, and I couldn't help but to laugh and smile as she got incredibly into the intricate details of peppercorn surface-area, and what portents that held for flavor absorption, as she drew a line graph in the air with her fingers, babbling away at the optimal grind size based on peppercorn freshness and competing flavors.
She didn't go as far as projecting a holo about it, but I was pretty sure she could. For that and every other ingredient in the dish. It was no wonder it was so good, it'd been mathematically calculated to be the world's most optimal pie.
With all her talent and capabilities, AEGIS might just be able to be the best at anything in the world, if she set her mind to it. Watching her now, so excited and animated, and with superhuman capacity for thought and effectively eidetic memory, of course she could help the XPCA. She'd help any system she was a part of, she was just that uniquely gifted. But at things like cooking, which really fired her passions, I realized I might just be looking at the best chef in the entire world, someday. And someday soon.
She suddenly stopped, all her excited energy extinguished in a moment. It took me a moment too long to notice, and I thought she'd crashed. But instead of freezing, she was just looking at me now. Aghast.
"What?" I asked. This sudden shift was terrifying. "What? Seriously."
"Exhuman event," she said, standing, holding her head, her eyes racing as she pulled data from the 'net. "They're making their move."
"You've been on the XPCA servers? This whole time?" I gaped at her. That was hardly the point at the moment, but it shocked me how after everything we'd argued about tonight, there she still was.
"Athan. This is big. War big. They're on the move."
"Right. Yes. On the move, who, how?"
She stood, stumbling slightly out of her chair, leaning across the table as she fumbled her way past it. The distracted walk of one who was still pulling as much data as possible out of the air. It took her another minute to make it into the cozy living room we hadn't yet furnished, and she fumbled with her damaged hair for a moment before giving up and just turning on the wall holo with the regular controls.
It took her only a moment to find a news channel, which was showing footage of...somewhere, I didn't know. An endless expanse of lichen-covered rocks. And what looked like a small battalion of men and women walking across it. My heart sunk at recognizing them.
Clad in loosely-flowing silks that seemed to flow all around them, they walked in perfect synchronization, despite the uneven ground. Their looks, even from this footage, which was probably spy-plane if not satellite, even from here seemed unnaturally focused, unnaturally unwavering. The heads didn't turn like normal humans. Nobody was speaking. None down there had any curiosity, any thought.
It was a square battalion of toads, marching towards something. And each one of them had a gun in their hands, something unique and terrifying, maybe a thousand of them, all told, the only piece of them which was not unform. The reporter had been talking this whole time, and I heard her say something about how the footage was ten miles outside of some city in Russia, and the Russian military was scrambling a response.
"Oh no." It was all I could say. Rio had actually gone and done it. Her threats to test out her arms in a more direct fashion, somehow, I still hadn't expected to happen. Not like this.
"We need to get in there. We need to stop her. Before this becomes a full-blown war," AEGIS said.
"That's just what she wants. She wants a fight. She wants everyone to come stop her."
She paused. "Then how are we supposed to stop it?"
I shook my head without an answer, as the screen suddenly flashed white. An explosion, a missile maybe, detonating directly on top of the advancing force.
Even the reporter seemed to be holding her breath as the feed stayed white for far too long. A huge blast, I realized, for it to be whited out that long. And then gradually, color started to seep back into the picture.
And there they were, still marching, as advanced as you'd expect if they'd never even paused at the blast. A mindless, unstoppable army with the powers of a hundred Exhumans in their arms.
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