Rarely did I feel that the world was conspiring against me. Yet, as I lingered beyond the doorway to Athan's home, seated on the cold concrete with book in hand, my knees stiff from how long I had been still, I couldn't help but for my mind to wander to desolate places.

The familiar words on the pages before me were just a backdrop to my thoughts. This had been my mother's book, and I brought it out not so much to read -- it was not that good a book, for one thing -- but rather to remember. The mind was a tricky, fickle thing, and though I labored to keep mine under control, I still understood the value of artifacts like these. Things touched with nostalgia.

Unfortunately, the spell of the book was lacking at this time. I closed it gently and laid it aside to stare up at the white door before me.

I was, I knew, being unfair to Athan. As reasonable as it sounded to demand his motives and history, I had no grounds to do so. I knew this, and knew that my time here was a mere farce to cover my own weakness, which I despised, both in the doing and the knowing. Still, it would be a lie to say I found him blameless. Even if I was being unreasonable, he was being equally obstinate.

I had liked him, once. The realization of this had been devastating to my ego. After so many years of telling myself that the world was a broken place which wanted for paragons and produced only pain, I was horrified to find how easily I could fall into friendship. For a time, I thought he was like me, aware of this world's faults and fighting to fix them, and with greater success and virtue than me. I looked up to him, even.

And then he vanished, leaving me alone again. It hurt, and it reminded me of what I should have already known. The more one invests oneself in others, the more pain they bring when they leave. I was not deluded that he was a bad person, but I would not mind to see him suffer, just as I wished to see the suffering of the P-Force members abate. That was why I was here; a simple medium to move existential pain from the innocent to the guilty. Or so I told myself.

I sighed and hated myself a little. Knowing he was not at fault spoke to my own weakness, and knowing that and changing nothing spoke to it further. I reached into a pocket and pulled out the true source of my consternation. The real cause of me being...not necessarily here...but anywhere but home.

My mobile, still glowing faintly, alerting me of one new message. It was a name I had never expected to see, and it had so rattled me, I had not so much as read the message since receiving it two days ago. My mobile was, effectively, dead to me, and it was a small irony that Athan had asked why I didn't simply call, when it was the state of the device, the state of my mind, which had pushed me onto him.

I heard voices approaching and buried the message and mobile with it in my pocket, looking up to see Athan and AEGIS approaching. Odd, I had thought them in the house. They must have left within minutes of throwing me out and in some haste, for them to have missed me.

He leaned heavily upon her, his eyelids drooping with exhaustion. She seemed fit as ever, if not annoyed at my presence.

"Is this a sit-in now?" she sighed, drawing to a stop.

"What's the matter with Athan?" I asked.

She leaned over and checked out his face from my angle. "He...had an accident. He's sedated on painkillers. What's the matter with you?"

"You will have to be more specific. I have many matters."

"It's the middle of the night and you're kneeling outside our door. Who the heck does that?"

"I the heck do that."

"Yeah, but why?"

Athan's head drooped and AEGIS readjusted him on her shoulder. "Should you not get him inside?" I asked.

"Oh, 'cuz now you care about his well-being?" she barked with sudden intensity. "I'm obviously not a fan of Athan and...Alyssa...doing whatever...but it's a whole other level of crappy to try to use that information to blackmail him against me. Really shows just how much he means to you if you'd do that to him. And shows just how much I should never, ever associate with you."

"I apologize, my intention was to build a rapport, not to blackmail."

"Well first off, you suck at it. Second, I fail to see the difference. Selling him out to me, or making him sell himself out, you're still being a bitch. And I'm way not a fan."

It did not improve my mood to see that AEGIS saw me as such. I knew I was quite socially lacking, but having it pointed out to me after I was already fleeing and failing both…

I did my best to purge my feelings on the matter. If I continued logically, if I could just pry an answer from her, if I could just stay balanced on the edge of being right and just--

I found myself hesitating even in drawing together the loose plan I had formulated in the hours on my knees. Athan did not look well.

"Whatever I have to say can wait until he is at rest," I said, swallowing heavily. She said nothing but nodded and opened the door. She left it open behind herself as she passed through, an implicit invitation.

Was it because I had not demanded a conversation over Athan's lolling consciousness? I suppose if she thought me a bitch for trying to use him, she could think me reasonable for letting him rest. I let myself in before she reconsidered.

"What is wrong with Chariot?" Tem demanded. The room abruptly seemed to fracture and dark lines seethed at the edges as she spoke.

"He's just tired," AEGIS lied. "I'm going to put him to bed."

"You are lying. You are lying to me, AEGIS. Did you do this? Did you hurt Chariot?"

"Would I do that?" she replied with a wan smile and Tem hesitated. "He's just tired. Too much uh...rough sex, you know?"

"Oh," Tem said as the room faded back into normalcy. "Good for him."

After a few minutes AEGIS returned and faced me, both of us standing in the doorway. My legs complained bitterly after sitting outside in the cold but I did not permit them to bother me.

"You got anything to say, then?" AEGIS said.

"I have much to say."

She blinked several times at me while she waited and then she spoke. "I'm not Athan," she said. "I'm not going to play your stupid word games. Fuck with me, and get out of my house."

"I am merely an advocate of people saying what they mean," I explained. As she opened the door, I added "But, I will endeavor to comply with conversational norms where I can."

"So talk, little round-bottomed bitch."

I found that title offensive on several levels but did not reply. Instead, I began to repeat my case to her about the nature of relationships between Athan and Jack and Tower, and how his absence had wounded them. And ironically, his return wounded them more.

"And?" she asked.

"And...I believe much of this can be mended with a simple explanation. What is invariably a simple misunderstanding could be easily resolved. So please explain to me why Athan chose to leave...them all."

"You might be particular with words, but at the same time, you really suck with them." AEGIS shook her head.

"I am trying to explain on your terms, and concisely."

"You're also trying to pretend you're this amazing person coming out here for altruistic reasons to help these suffering teammates, while at the same time blasting Athan with terms like 'traitor' and 'betrayal'. It really pisses me off, and the more I talk to you, the more I dislike you. It's obvious you took his abandonment harder than either of the other P-Force."

I felt myself stiffening involuntarily and forced myself to breathe. "That is immaterial. My point still remains."

AEGIS squatted the short distance to be at my height and her yellow eyes burned into mine. "Not that everything about you doesn't already scream this, but you've got serious trust issues, huh? Y'know, I heard your daddy is CEO of the IkaCo Tech Conglomerate. Was he too busy to give you love when you were growing up?"

She smirked at me knowingly. I resolved to kill her if ever given the opportunity.

"Are you going to tell me what I wish to know or not?" I asked.

"Probably not."

"Then why waste our time with these predictions and psychoanalysis?"

She stood back up. "Because, like I said, you're a bitch, and I don't like you. Maybe if blackmail is the only thing you understand, you'll leave Athan alone if I know a little about your past. Or--" she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Is it really in your past? I'm pretty sure your mobile has an unread message. For two days now, huh?"

"H-how?"

Her eyes burned as she stared at me, all emotion and sympathy gone from her face in a terrifying instant. "I saw it in the hallway. Did you think these eyes were the same level as a human's? And your phone has been connected to my personal 'net relay for hours now. I know everything on it. Would you still like to discuss blackmail...sorry...building a rapport, Kaori?"

I felt a ball in my gut and the urgent, instinctual need to escape. It was as though a switch had been flipped inside of her, and any sympathy, empathy, kindness that she possessed had become pure, ruthlessly efficient evil. I did not know or understand, but I did know that I was utterly outmatched in a battle I had not expected to have.

I bowed deeply and quickly. "Forgive me," I said as clear as I could get my voice to go. "It was wrong of me to attempt to use the two of you against each other. It was foolish and selfish and weak of me to come here and to do so."

"I'm sure you're only saying that because you lost," she cooed. "And normally, I might be more understanding, but nobody is driving a wedge between Athan and me right now. Do you understand, little round-bottomed bitch?"

"Hai. I understand."

"Good," she said, and smiled again, though malice still lingered behind her eyes. "Don't fuck with Athan and me."

I stood bowed and waiting until given permission to rise.

"What?" she asked, finally.

"Please. Tell me what I came here to know. I abandon all excuses and deception, I must know."

"If I tell you, will you leave?" she asked.

"Hai. I will."

She hooked a finger under my chin and pulled me upright, her eyes burning into mine still. She smiled wider, but it was not a friendly smile. "Well too bad. Get out of my house."

I realized as the cold of the night set in on my body an hour later what had just transpired. I had been deliberately intimidated. Nobody had ever tried to intimidate me before, and I was -- now, far removed from the events -- irritated that it had worked so effectively against me.

I wondered if Athan knew what a terrifying monster his girlfriend was capable of being. If he ever abandoned her as he had abandoned me, she would not be following him with irritated words and demanding an explanation. I very much suspected she would use knives and would take several private souvenirs. With an emphasis on 'private'.

Of course, I had no basis for this assumption. Just something from my books. She seemed the sort.

Even worse however was that she knew what was on my mobile. Even I had not read the message...I did not know if she did, or could...but to think that after all these years, I would get a message like this, and then not even be the first to read it? It hurt more than it should have. It opened painful memories I thought long gone and injected the difficulties of my current life into them.

I should at least read the message, I thought. AEGIS had shown me how vulnerable I was emotionally, and I had spent much of the hour since...calming down, actually. But after I had done that, I had loathed myself for being so cripplingly fragile.

I had come out here to run away from facing the message, and then what? Expected that those in that household would bend to my wishes? It was stupid. Every bit of it, ill-conceived, flighty, irrational. It was not who I was. And perhaps reading the message would prove to be nothing, and I could resume myself.

I doubted it very much, but could it be worse than this?

I pulled the mobile from my pocket and ignored that my hand was trembling. As though I had meant to do it all along, I opened my messages and did not pause to allow my courage to falter. Decisively, I pressed the name at the top of the list.

The contact listed as 'Ikeda Ichiro'. In the contact notes, my mobile knew him as 'CEO of IkaCo'. Some part of me which was not my heart knew him as 'Otousan'. Father.

The message was brief. As I expected, he had few words for me after all these years. I held my breath as I read them.

And then I rose to my feet and trembled in rage as I had rarely felt. I took exactly five seconds to even my breathing before knocking on the door with restraint.

"Who is it?" AEGIS called out playfully from the other side, sounding as though she had been waiting just beyond it for me.

"You are despicable," I informed her. "You are...vile. Inhuman. You are lower than dirt."

"Sorry, don't know anyone by that name," she said, and then with obvious delight "Maybe you should be more precise with your words."

"AEGIS give me my message from my father."

"Say 'pretty please'."

"Pretty please."

"Say you'll never fuck with me again."

"I will never fuck with you again."

The door opened. "You really should shut up, you'll wake Lia up," she said, grinning.

I shut up. There was nothing else to do. I could shoot her in the face, and would still lose to this woman.

"That's what I want to see," she said, looking at my face. "That absolute despair. I know you're a stubborn one, Moon--"

"Kaori."

"--Moon, and I know you'd probably make my life hell if I let you. So this is me stomping it out. Nipping it in the bud. And a big part of that is making sure this solution is permanent."

"I understand."

"Good. So you're going to do exactly what it said in 'daddy's' message to you." She leaned over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a piece of paper. "This is the only copy of your father's message. You want it, you do that. Got it?"

I nodded. The content which had replaced my father's message had been quite clear.

> Piss off, Moon

> Love, AEGIS

There was little room for misinterpretation.

She crumpled the paper into a ball and then held it to her shoulder which thrummed and glowed with circles of yellow light and a quiet roar like a distant motor. After several long seconds, the paper began to smoke and wilt and I realized she was burning it.

The moment I stepped forward, she threw the paper out the door with a smoking trail, and I dove after it. It bounced several times on the concrete before picking up speed down a set of stairs, tumbling and leaving a looping trail of smoke behind it.

I was barely out the door when it closed behind me with a quiet click as though she were just sending me out to the corner market. She truly was without feelings.

I awkwardly bent as I ran, stooping and chasing the rolling ball of paper until it stopped, and then slapping at it with the grace of a confused dog while my fingers burned. I managed to smooth it out and then, having no water, threw myself on it.

I closed my eyes as I felt the fire burning itself out under my stomach. Tears of pain and of injustice rolled from my eyes as I waited and endured with my face in the dirt. I would face any amount of pain to read these words, I told myself. So strange that I had avoided them so long.

When at last the paper was burned out and so was I, I rolled onto my back painfully, leaving behind a couple of small, singed circles which had once been bits of my sweatshirt. I brushed them aside and found the paper still mostly intact, burned at random as it had been wadded when lit.

The message was...was precisely what I expected, and any triumph I felt in having it in my hands was defeated by its pointlessness. It's authenticity was unquestionable, something I hadn't even considered as I'd chased the fireball, as it was exactly as it should have been.

It read, approximately, in Japanese:

> Kaori

> Your cooperation is appreciated, as always.

> This is Ichiro Ikeda.

> Your return to Japan is requested. Please make arrangements to come back.

> That is all. Please confirm what was mentioned.

It was a completely standard business letter, written in casual Japanese, as one would speak to a business subordinate. Stripping away the formal template the entire message was a mere one line.

Your return to Japan is requested. Please make arrangements to come back.

No reason given, because a CEO would never need to explain himself to a simple girl. Pack up and leave. Not a question.

This is why I had avoided reading the message. It sounded absurd, but I knew there could be no other reason for him to reach out but for him to have found some use for me. Now that I had read it, I was obligated to go.

I did not wish to, of course. I had a life here, I was useful here. I was making...a positive change to the world, so that it would be slightly less painful and slightly less dark. Whatever use he wanted of me would be for credits alone, I believed.

Maybe a business marriage. Those still happened very rarely.

But what I wanted had, and never would matter. I was not a person, not really. I was merely a void where a person should have been, and I had taken his place.

I had been in America too long, I realized. I had gotten full of myself and forgotten myself at the same time. Such arrogance, that I thought I could come here and make unreasonable demands of others. So American. How I could grow away from my roots so readily sickened me. I sat up and began to contemplate the means to get home.

It was night and the streets were dark and unfamiliar, but at least I had my mobile back to give me directions. Perhaps I could summon a cab and then a flight, I thought. I did not think I would need any possessions back in Japan, being one myself.

I had time to give Athan a mental apology, realizing that I, too, was abandoning the P-Force and justice, as he had. Perhaps I had my answer after all. He did not need to change, the world merely changed him. I felt bitter and sad that both of us could be lost so easily.

Something grabbed the back of my neck and I dropped my mobile as it held me. I tried to think of words to yell or actions to fight back, but I was unprepared, and by the time I considered that acting was a necessity, I was already looking at my unconscious body from outside, watching it be dragged away down a dark sidewalk.

I tried to scream but I did not know how. Even being kidnapped on a street corner in the middle of the night, it felt unseemly and impossible for me, a lifetime of being quiet, being out of the way, making no fuss. If I could kill him, I would, but my hands passed through him without effect.

He shook his head at my attempt.

"Kaori, my sweet," he said, his voice aglow with delight, "I never expected to see you. Never expected to find you here and alone in the dark. I'm here to take you to your new home."

I twisted and struggled and tried to pick up sticks and rocks to hit him with but the sidewalk was well-kept. He watched me with glittering eyes as he pulled me ever further away from Athan and AEGIS and safety, never touching my skin, fully aware of how my powers worked.

"Kaori, don't be mad. Be happy, can't you be happy for me? All I want is to see your beautiful smile."

"Who are you?" I demanded of him. "Let me go!"

"I'll let you go once we're safe and home, don't you worry. As for who I am?" he gave me a broad, heartfelt smile that unnerved me entirely. "I don't really matter here, you do. For now, you can just think of me as your faithful servant, and the happiest man alive."