Inspector dropped me near my car, which was still parked outside his office, and he left for his office.

I didn't know what to do. But I didn't trust myself to be alone at this time. I decided to visit Mary at her place. I called her and let her know I was coming.

I just realized I was going to Mary’s place for the first time. I know where it was. I had dropped her a couple of times. But never been inside her house.

When I got there, she was waiting for me. She was wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans. I could also see some light make-up on her face. Maybe she was planning to go somewhere when I called.

I was not in the mood to think about all these. As my mind was fully occupied by Rahul and where I could find him.

"So how come you finally decided to visit my place? You do know that you have never been here before. Right?”

"Yeah, I was having a bad day and felt like having some company.”

I decided not to tell her about Rahul. No need to worry her. At least not until everything was confirmed.

"At least you finally felt like coming over. Anything particular disturbing you?”

"The usual. It's just that I feel a lot worse than usual today. Would you have anything to Drink?”

"What do you want?”

"Coffee.”

She started laughing.

"What happened?”

"For a second, I thought you were going to ask something stronger like whiskey.”

"You do know that I don't drink alcohol, right?”

"Yeah, I know. Still, it's the way you said. And anyway, it's not like I have anything here. Even I don't drink, if you remember.”

"Yeah, I know.”

I smiled slightly at that.

"Wait, let me get you something.”

I sat in the dining room and waited for her to get the coffee. Looking around, I noticed her place was decorated simply with nothing extravagant. There were a lot of photos in her house. Looking closely, I noticed I was in most of them. Most of them were group photos. But I was almost in every one of them. And there was one with just the two of us, taken before we had started college. I think it was taken when we had gone out to celebrate our admission.”

"Here’s your coffee. It seems like you have noticed my photo collection”.

"Yeah, lot of old memories. Also made me realize how much time we used to spend together.”

"Yeah. Lots of good memories.”

I could see she had a happy expression on her face.

"Here, drink it before it gets cold.”

We sat in silence as I finished the coffee.

"Hey, Mary. I want to thank you for all the support you had given me over the last few days. I don't think I could have handled it alone.”

"It's ok. It’s what friends are for.”

Then she went silent. I could see she was thinking deeply about something. Then she had a change in an expression like she had made a decision.

"Jacob. I want to tell you something. But I need you to promise me something first.”

"Sure. What do you me to promise?”

"You will listen to fully what I say next before you react, and you will also think a bit about it before responding.”

"Ok.”

I was wondering what was coming next.

"Jacob, I love you. I have been in love with you for a long time. I don't even know when it started. I guess I have always been in love with you. Initially, you were an inspiration for me. Someone who refused to accept your situations. Who fought to get above it through sheer will, determination and hard work. You inspired me to work harder as well. The place I'm in right now, a lot of it is because of you. And at some point, that feeling changed to love. And I couldn't think of my life without you. I always thought we would end up together. The reason I didn't bring it up before was that I felt you were not ready. You were so focused on your goals. Planning it all the way, one step at a time. I was so happy when we were both admitted to the same college. I had decided I'd tell you all of this when college got over.”

There was a slight change in her expression before she continued.

“Then Priya came along. You fell in love with her head over heels. You seemed so happy. It broke my heart, but I just couldn't say anything. Seeing you so happy, I couldn't do anything that could make you feel otherwise. Sometimes when you really love someone, you just want them to be happy even at the cost of everything else. I had decided I would never tell you this. But now circumstances have changed. I feel I should not delay it and make the same mistake as last time. So I'm telling you this now. You don't have to tell me anything right now. You can even pretend like this talk never happened. I'll be fine with it. I just wanted to get this off my chest. I just wanted to ensure I did what I could. I completely understand your situation right now. I know you are also not over Priya. But I just had to say what was in my heart.”

I didn't know what to say. I felt like interrupting her speech a couple of times. But each time, I was reminded of the promise she had asked me before she started. Even now, I decided not to reply immediately. We stayed silent like that for a moment.

"Mary. I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry if I had caused you any pain. But please do know that it was never my intention. As you said, I'm still not over Priya. And I still need time to get my thoughts and feelings in order. I hope I'm not disappointing you again.”

"Not at all. I completely understand. Like I said, I'm not expecting anything from you right now. I just wanted to express my feeling. That's all.”

It was getting a bit awkward for me. But at the same time, I didn't want to hurt her feelings in any way.

"Mary, you have been a great friend. And like you said, I would like to think about it properly before giving you a response. Hope you don't mind.”

"Not at all. Please take your time. I’m happy that you are at least thinking about it.”

She seemed genuinely happy.

I said goodbye to her and left soon. My mind was completely shaken up. I needed some time alone to think things through.

The whole night I kept thinking about what Mary had said.

I couldn't get over it. It would be incorrect to say that I was not attracted to her.

She was a great person and has always been with me. She was the one person with whom I have spent most of my life and who I knew for a fact genuinely cared for me.

But I just couldn't embrace it fully. It almost felt like I was cheating on Priya. I know she is not around anymore. But did it give me permission to be with someone else?

I didn't know. This was difficult. And it had not been a lot of time since Priya passed away. Then again, what is the right amount of time for this sort of thing?

What if I wait around too long and end up losing Mary too. Did I really want to spend the rest of my life alone?

But then what about the revenge I promised to take for Priya. How could I think of such things when the culprit was still walking free?

What kind of a person was I? Was I just waiting for a reason not to go ahead with that promise?

My thoughts were getting more confusing, and I was not reaching any conclusion.

I didn't know how long I stayed awake thinking about this or when I finally fell asleep.