‘I must say Veera, that was quite bold of you.’ Io remarked evenly as Veera took up position near the gates of the village. Not wanting to seem like a crazy person or reveal Io’s existence to the guards or other onlookers, Veera casually began walking along the curvature of the palisade, keeping Winters in view. He’d taken a knee before her father’s shrine and seemed to be talking as he bowed his head. Once she was satisfied with her distance, Veera rubbed her earpiece and replied.

“I didn’t plan this Io.” She didn’t know if she felt offended, apologetic, or both. “I honestly wasn’t sure I even wanted to bring him here today, but it would have felt wrong to send the two of you away. I had hoped this might help him with his own grief in a way.”

‘I do not think you are wrong, but that can’t be why you led us here.’ Io asserted, trying to get a better understanding of the young Cauthan’s motivations. This was very new territory for the VI, and she wanted to understand both perspectives of the increasingly apparent relationship before making a judgment. Veera sighed.

“No Io, but I needed to get all of that off my chest. I’m sure you can understand why saying that directly to Russell would have been an issue?” Veera asked, feeling surer of herself.

‘Yes, I believe I do. The Lieutenant would not have been an appropriate direct outlet. And I do understand the need to…let things out?’

“Exactly. Since the subject of my…emotional unrest…is Winters, I’m back where I was before you two arrived in terms of seeking solace. I can talk to Thantis or Gentia or even Antoth at times, but it’s not the same as friends or family. There are some things you just can’t speak of to priests or guards. The way Winters makes me feel and the things he’s done here…those definitely fall into that category. My father has always been the one I’ve sought comfort from. Today’s no exception. Like I said, I don’t know if I should have brought Russell along at all. There were pros and cons and in the end I guess I sort of just let things happen. I couldn’t bring myself to send him away in the end. I’m sorry. I know this wasn’t fair to him. He’s dealing with his own grief and then I went and dropped that…ton of bricks on him?” She hung her head in silence, remembering the feel of her back against the human’s chest, his breath against her ear. She wouldn’t admit it to Io, but in light of the embrace they’d shared, the idea of regret was far from her mind.

‘I see I’ve caused a misunderstanding Veera. For that I must apologize. It was bold, but I did not mean to imply it was wrong.’

“What?” Veera looked up again in surprise, immediately feeling silly as Io was nowhere to be seen.

‘I have been attempting to analyze the relationship between you and the Lieutenant ever since we first spoke.’

“I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me given your nature, Io. Though I will admit that was a very intense situation. The story of his ship is quite tragic.”

‘It was Veera, and I have come to realize that I was particularly selfish that night.’ Io admitted.

“Again…what?” Veera was feeling even more confused. Were all human computers like this? She reasoned that couldn’t be the case. It would be a nightmare.

‘I made a request of you-”

“Please, don’t hurt him.” Veera replied easily, the memory still fresh in her mind.

‘Exactly Veera. I did not for a second take into consideration what that might mean for you as time went on. At that moment I was solely concerned about the mental state of my partner and any emotional distress you might suffer on account of my request was a non-issue. In reflection, I have concluded that this was the first instance that my nature as an artificial lifeform led me to a sub-optimal decision.’

“Should I even bother saying what again?” Veera asked, bringing a hand to her forehead.

‘You may, I find it mildly humorous.’

“What in the name of the twin goddesses are you talking about Io?”

‘I am talking about the way the Lieutenant feels about you.’ Those words caused Veera’s heart to pump harder for a couple beats.

“What do you mean?” She breathed.

‘I was unwilling to consider the idea that sacrifices on Russell’s behalf, in order to help you, might actually do some good for him. I should have. He is a HEL Jumper after all. Only two types of humans join those ranks. Those who wish to kill and those who put others before themselves, sometimes to a ridiculous extent. I assume you can guess which type the Lieutenant is.’ Veera nodded emphatically as Io continued. ‘You should have seen his vitals when he fought Vash’s guards for you. He ended up enjoying it quite a bit, not to mention all that came after. I have access to numerous non-fiction and fictional texts but they are of only moderate use when trying to learn about the two of you and how, if at all, I should interact with you.’

“Io please, don’t…you’re his partner. Why would you ever step back from that?”

‘I knew I liked you for a reason.’ Io wished she had her projection abilities so she could offer Veera a smirk and a wave of thanks. ‘But to my point, would you like to know what the Lieutenant is doing right now?’

Veera did want to know, she really did, but such things were private, weren’t they? “I don’t think I should know Io. If he wants to tell me about his talk with my father, I think he will.”

‘I see. Well said Veera. In that case I shall explain without using that particular knowledge. As I was saying I have access to accounts of relationships between men and women from myriad sources both real and imagined. Even so, there is little that I’ve found helpful.’

“How can that be?” Veera asked, knowing that Io was talking about an entire planet’s historical works.

‘It is not because I cannot scan through them all and find analogs, I certainly can and have. The uncertainty comes from the multiple intricacies of this particular pairing. The two of you share characteristics of many different types of human relationships and those interactions combined with hormonal effects, cross-species considerations, and other factors including the circumstances of our arrival here…well…it’s quite the tricky subject. To my knowledge no human has ever had intimate relations with a Ghaelen. This is new territory.’

“Uh…you lost me Io.”

‘You and the Lieutenant met, in your terms, around one cycle ago, yes?”

“Yes.” Veera confirmed, wondering where Io was leading her.

‘So under normal circumstances, after that period of time, most humans would classify a friendly relationship between individuals, like the one you and the Lieutenant share, as being acquaintances.’

“I would agree with that. It hasn’t been very long. Am I being desperate?” Veera mumbled, scratching the dirt beneath her with a talon and realizing just how whirlwind everything had been. It made her feel a bit immature, if she was honest with herself.

‘Now you see where I’m starting to have trouble. If it were that easy then yes, you would be desperate indeed. But it’s not. Let’s add in another element. The two of you were, at first, completely incapable of communicating except through the use of a few basic of words and gestures. So instead, correctly in my opinion, you decided to engage in tactile discovery of one another. It would have been considered quite intimate under non-first contact circumstances.’

“I think it was still intimate, even in that case.” Veera affirmed, remembering that afternoon with a rush of memory and emotion: fear, curiosity, heat.

‘Perhaps. Russell was most disappointed he didn’t get his turn.’ Io informed her with a measure of humor. ‘But we soon understood the reason for your abrupt departure, do not worry. He made up for that today in spades.’

“Yeah…he did.” Veera said longingly, remembering how wonderful it felt to be held so completely.

‘Now again we have to add another element to this relationship. The two of you have come to rely and depend upon one another. With regard to the physical necessities of life: food, shelter, warmth, clothing, and the like, the two of you behave like a mated pair, either on Earth or Mara.’

“Io!” Veera almost yelled.

‘Am I wrong?’

“N-No…it’s just embarrassing!”

‘Why?’ The VI asked.

“It just is!”

‘How interesting. Let’s put the material needs of survival aside for a moment. From an emotional standpoint the two of you appear to be using each other as a crutch or outlet for pent up pain and loss. The circumstances are vastly different, but I believe that the Lieutenant only began improving once he shared his tale with you. And I believe the fact that he is talking to your father right now is encouraging to you as well Veera, even if you consider that wound to be scarred over.’

“You’re right on that front Io. It’s cute actually. I really do think my father would have liked him.” Veera said with a sad smile. “So what does all that add up to in that exceptional brain of yours?”

‘I wasn’t finished.’

“No way! How could things possibly be more complicated than that?”

‘You mean beyond the physical attraction you both have to one another? And don’t bother denying it, neither of you is subtle. That was quite a show you put on the other night by the way, lounging on your bed like that. But what I wanted to say is that he sees you as you are. He does not know that your stripes are strange, he’s drawn to them. He doesn’t care a bit that you are tall, so is he. He doesn’t care that you are poor. Now that we’re here, so is he. That is to say nothing of the fact that the two of you, combined, have been accumulating resources at a rate greater than either of you could achieve alone. You have returned the favor as well Veera, much to my delight. You do not ascribe anything superfluous to the Lieutenant. Antoth sees him as a potential threat, though I will admit that’s understandable. Thantis sees him as a curiosity. Ratha sees him as an interloper and rival. Vash sees him as a heretic. You see him as he is.’ Io explained as Veera began to feel a nervousness coil and twist inside her. Io was hitting very, very close to home.

“So…so what does that all mean?” She whispered, almost terrified of the answer.

‘I have absolutely no idea!’ Io concluded with an air of mock accomplishment. ‘The two of you are a complete enigma!

“Talking to you is a very draining experience sometimes.” Veera deadpanned as she slumped to the ground with her back to the wall. She took a moment to look out over the fields rich with life. In the light of early dusk they were quite pretty. Winters joined them soon after and broke her reverie.

“Hey there, you alright?” He offered her a hand with a slightly nervous look. She took it and felt warmth explode from the point of contact. As soon as she was on her feet she wrapped her arms around him. Damn the fates and whatever else. Io had confused the hell out of her and the last embrace had been a grounding experience. Subtlety was overrated anyway.

“Veera?! What is…” Winters’ reaction was cut off as Veera explained herself.

“I’m sorry Russell…I just couldn’t keep all this inside anymore. This last lunar cycle has been a complete whirlwind for me.”

‘I will admit I don’t think I helped, sir. I am still working on girl talk.’ Io acknowledged sheepishly. Winters laughed deep in his chest, a low rumbling noise like stones in a barrel. Veera loved it. For Winters’ part, his time among the shrines had left him feeling lighter and full of purpose. He wrapped a hand around Veera’s back and stroked the fur under her crest plumage with the other. The action was barely a conscious decision.

“Dare I ask what the two of you talked about?”

“Just how crazy all this is.” Veera mumbled into his chest, not yet ready to look at him.

“I can agree with that, this is definitely crazy. But you don’t have to be sorry for anything Veera.”

“I do. I’m an emotional wreck and you’re dealing with everything on your plate already. You don’t need this.” She insisted.

“No…but I think I want this. Even if I…can’t yet?” He insisted, his voice dropping at least an octave. Veera sucked in a breath and felt her heart slam into her ribcage. “I still have a lot to sort out on my own Veera, and I’m admittedly a bit scared of sitting down and hashing this all out and figuring where we stand with one another. But I would much rather do that than wander around in the darkness. You’re…very pleasant to hold.” Winters finished, thinking for just a moment how odd it was that he felt none of the adrenaline or nerves he’d been suffering moments before. He hoped it wasn’t just him seeking physical comfort as a coping mechanism. It was a distinct possibility and would be completely unfair to Veera. Those darker thoughts were pushed back as she began purring against him.

“Io and I tried that already, got nowhere. Maybe we can try later?” She mewled, finally looking up at him. “I want this too…whatever it is.”

‘Utterly fascinating.’ Io whispered in a clinical tone.

“Io!” Winters grumbled, looking up at the sky in frustration. It was a dark blue, streaked with the gold of the setting star. “Having a moment here…apparently.” He looked back to Veera. The smile she was giving him was like the smell of cut grass on a spring morning. It immediately set him at ease. Slowly, she disengaged her hold while taking his hand in hers.

“Shall we head home for dinner?”

“Yeah, let’s go Veera.”

As they walked through the streets of the village, Veera found herself further and further lost in though. A few times she almost bumped into her fellow townsfolk, coming home from either working on the festival or in the fields. The shock and awe of having initiated an embrace with Winters and having it returned had faded rather quickly. It was true that she felt it was an important moment, but freaking out about it would solve nothing. Besides, the hug had been one of those moments completely devoid of the nervousness she exhibited around him. They were becoming more common. That was the subject of her reverie. It was clear enough to her that there was some sort of physical attraction between the two of them. She was sure Winters had some idea as well. Hell, even Io picked up on it. She thought, looking at the human to her right. He met her eye briefly and nodded, but seemed unconcerned. Veera returned to her thoughts. She couldn’t deny the bimodal nature of their interactions, sometimes deep and tender, others hesitant and flirtatious. On top of that, she was pretty sure that each time her nervous tendencies had taken a back seat; emotions had been running very high. Did that simply mean that they were willing to support one another regardless of appearances and feelings, was it an excuse they were using to become closer in a physical sense, or was it, as Io had suggested, an outlet for the pain they’d both experienced?

“Penny for your thoughts?” Winters broke through her trance as they turned onto her street.

“What? Is that some sort of human colloquialism?”

“Indeed. Was wondering if you wanted to talk about anything. You’ve been off in your own little world for a while. Everything alright? I know today has been…well, it’s been a lot of things hasn’t it?” He laughed at the absurdity of it all, a sound she found most pleasing. His concern was endearing to her, but she didn’t want to discuss the subject in public.

“Yes Russell I’m alright, maybe we can talk inside?” Nodding in agreement, he remained silent until they reached her home. After divesting himself of the majority of his gear and vest, he began building a fire for them.

“You’ve been doing quite well for us here.” He commented casually, looking at the small piles of supplies and food that filled up the left hand corner of the room. “Just don’t push yourself too hard alright?”

“I’ll be fine, thanks Russell. No offense, but I think I have plenty more experience than you do as far as scrounging is concerned.” She assured him, hefting the half-finished pot of stew over to the pit.

“No arguments here and no offense taken.” He assured her, keeping his attention on the lattice of wood. Once he was finished with the construction, they lifted the stew into place and lit the fire beneath it.

“We’re getting pretty good at this, don’t you think?” Veera asked with a wink, feeling that nervous, playful tension coming back. She shook her head in frustration.

“I do…but I feel like I should ask again. Are you feeling alright? Did you want to try…you know…hashing this all out? I know it’s eating at me a bit.” He stood and walked over to her, sizing her up. Her chest tightened again as he approached. It was a scene they’d played before, but without his armor and with her new clothing everything felt different, riskier. She decided to go with blunt honesty. It had already worked once before.

“I don’t know what’s happening to us. Half the time I’m around you and everything feels right and perfect and I’m comfortable and you’re comfortable and things are fine. We work, we eat, we cook, we joke around, we talk about things…like last night. But then there are other times when I can barely stand to look at you without feeling like I’m fifteen again and I hate myself for it.” She ended her rambling by huffing and kicking at the ground, scattering a few bits of loose earth. He reached a hand out and grabbed her shoulder gently.

“Woah woah, Veera it’s alright. No need to take it out on the floor. Is this because of what you and Io were talking about? Io, there something you need to tell me?” He raised his voice slightly.

‘I do not believe so sir. After my discussion with Veera I was no closer to being able to answer my original inquiry.’

“And what was that, exactly?” He asked, looking Veera in the eye.

‘The nature of your relationship with one another, of course. It is a most unique phenomenon.’ Io informed him. The human closed his eyes and took a steadying breath.

Well, that explains a lot. He opened his eyes again and addressed Veera. “Veera, did you want to say anything about your little talk? And that’s not a demand, by the way. Just giving you the floor if you want it.”

“I…I don’t know. I’m afraid to question things.” She told him softly, holding his gaze. Winters began chuckling. He wasn’t sure where the thoughts in his head were coming from, but he’d made a pledge to the dead. That much made the whole situation worth taking seriously.

“Let’s eat, shall we? I think it’ll help. Then we can question, or not question anything we like. Alright?” She nodded, knowing that empty stomachs could only make things worse. This time Winters sat next to her by the fire instead of across from her. After they’d both had a few bites he began.

“Why are you afraid, Veera? Is it because of what we talked about yesterday? Losing…this?” He gestured around the room. He hoped Io would remain silent for this.

“I think so, yes.” She admitted shortly. “Is that wrong of me, after what I said today? I feel like I want everything…like I’m being selfish.” He nodded, a serious look on his face.

“What was the last time you held someone your own age, before me?”

“What?! What does that have to do with anything?” She became defensive at his questioning.

“I’m not trying to embarrass you or anything, but I would like to know. Equal exchange, I’ll tell you the same?” He offered. She eventually relented and bowed her head, tail drooping.

“When I was a small child.”

“A day before Jess died.” Winters replied evenly. Veera stared at the fire as a tear graced her eye.

“You see why I’m scared? How do I even…you loved her very much, didn’t you?” Veera asked, defeat evident in her voice. Winters brought a hand to her shoulder.

“I did. I still do. I probably always will because of the way we were parted. A part of me was ripped out that day.” He surprised even himself as he held his composure. He took a breath and kept focused on his purpose. “Veera, there’s only one part of the death of my comrades that I’ve really been able to come to terms with. And that’s it. I know that she and I had something, and that it’s gone. No matter what I do it won’t come back. I’m not over her death, but I understand that our relationship died. Does that make any sense? Now that I’m saying it out loud it doesn’t seem to as much.” He trailed off, running his fingers along the cool earthen floor.

“No, it does Russell. Do you want to talk about her?” Veera asked, wondering if she would be able to follow through on that offer. Fortunately, Winters demurred.

“No, I don’t. But thank you Veera. The reason I mentioned that is because it worries me. I’m worried I’ll hurt you.” He looked at her, light of clarity in his eyes. She found herself enchanted by his blue irises but confused by his words.

“Hurt me?” Veera whispered. He nodded.

“I’m not exactly an expert on matters of the heart Veera. I’m a soldier. A soldier who wanted the one woman he couldn’t have, no less. Don’t know what that says about me, but what worries me is what’s been happening here…with you. And please, don’t take this the wrong way. Let me get the thought out.” He held up a hand to forestall any further reaction as Veera scrunched her face up. “I don’t want to replace her with you. You are a wonderful person Veera, a wonderful woman. That much I know for sure, even if it’s only been a couple weeks. What I don’t know is if this…whatever it is that I feel…is because of something genuine, or because of the void that Jess left behind.”

‘Sir…’ Io tentatively tried to join in.

“Please Io, let the hormone riddled biological organisms sort through this first. I promise unlimited question time on the way home, alright?”

‘Of course sir. My apologies.’

“There’s no need Io, you know that. Veera…do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?” He asked nervously, wondering how the first direct mention of Jess as his lover would go over. He braced for impact.

“There’s no way you’re normal.” She whispered.

“Eh?” That was not one of the answers he’d foreseen.

“Normal men don’t talk about themselves that way. Normal men don’t care that much about…oh who am I kidding? I don’t know what normal men do and I don’t care. I don’t think I ever have, not since the normal men decided I wasn’t worth their time. But you…damn it all Russell!” Winters grimaced. Now they were in territory he’d anticipated. Veera threw her hands into the air in frustration. “What does it say about me that I’m completely willing to take that risk?” And just like that they were right back in a place he hadn’t expected. Was Veera saying what he thought she was saying? If that was the case then…

‘I’m sorry sir, I have to.’ Io pleaded with him, eager to say her piece. Winters nodded reluctantly, knowing he didn’t have anything constructive to add at the moment. ‘Veera, Russell…I don’t know the answer for either of you in this matter of the heart, but I am convinced that you are each other’s best chance of surviving. Not just of surviving, but thriving here on this planet. So please, before everything goes along a hormonal and neural laced pathway I can never follow you down…don’t forget why it is you’re helping one another.’ She had appeared in Winters’ visor with an insistent look in her eyes. Even her hair was a bit more disheveled than usual. He appreciated all the thought and effort she’d put into her message.

Absolute silence reigned in Veera’s home, save the crackling fire. Veera and Winters stared at one another with questioning eyes, trying to see past the surface and into one another. Veera brought a hand slowly to her ear and caressed the cool plastic of her translator. Winters spoke first. “I made a request of your father today.” Veera nodded but said nothing, waiting for him to continue. “I asked him if he would look after my friends, help them find peace until I can build a proper shrine and send them home. In exchange…I promised him I would care for you in his stead.” He wasn’t sure what else he could add, but he felt Veera should know how committed he was to their joint survival. Without another word she flung herself on top of him, their dinner long forgotten as she sobbed against his chest.

“You big, stupid, noble human! How do you expect me to remain calm when you say something like that?! See, this is what’s been driving me crazy. We’re not flirting right now, we’re well past that. We’re touching, a lot. I’m on top of you. You’re saying things like that about my dad and about me and I’m crying like a pregnant woman and neither of us care! I’m not feeling like my guts are twisting themselves in knots…well I guess I do but that’s from fear so it doesn’t count! And you aren’t doing that cute thing with your neck that you do whenever you blush! So why? What’s different about right now? Why isn’t anything happening like it’s supposed to? In a way I can understand?” She asked, dropping her head back onto his chest. She listened to the comforting sound of his heartbeat as he answered, it helped steady her nerves.

“Big, stupid, and noble? No need to inflate my ego that much.” He joked.

“Does it look like I’m laughing Russell? I’m not laughing.” She insisted, though her next sob did sort of sound like a chuckle.

“Sorry Veera, coping mechanism. If I had to guess? I’d say it’s because there’s one thing we’re sure of in all this chaos and right now, thanks to Io, we’re focusing on that.”

“What is it?”

“That we both want to live. And we both want the other to live.” He said with utmost seriousness, any trace of humor gone. She bowed her head and shook her feathers in confirmation of his words. She extended a claw and began drawing slow circles on his chest.

“I want you to live Russell. I want you to find a place here, as long as you need it. I want you to say goodbye to your friends in peace, knowing that one day you’ll be with them again. I want you to fill that hole in your heart, however and whenever you choose to do so. I can’t stand to see you suffer.” He nodded at her, biting his cheek to fight back the tears before answering and avowing his own desires.

“I want you to live Veera. I want you to thrive and shove it in their faces. I want you to be warm. I want you to be fed. I don’t want you to be afraid. I want you…to find your own way in this world so that if I have to go…you’ll be ok.” He wasn’t sure why, but saying those last words seemed to send a lance of phantom pain through him. It was the truth. It accounted for all eventualities. But for some reason the truth hurt. Veera was looking up at him now. He found he quite enjoyed her partial weight atop him, to say nothing of the innocent look in her eyes.

“Then let’s go with that Russell. Whatever else comes will come. I don’t know what the rest is, and I’m sure it won’t be easy…but I think now that I have this rock against the storm…it’s enough.” She knew asking anything more would be crazy, and knew she couldn’t be sure she wanted more. Not like she knew she wanted him to live. One day it might not be enough, but that was something she’d worry about if the time came. Feeling a modicum of inner peace following their heart to heart, she spoke to him again. “I know this is going to sound anti-climactic but…do you want to finish eating? I don’t know if the stew will keep another day.” He smiled at her and reached up to rub the base of her ears. “Hey now you…I don’t think that’s necessary for me to live!” She let out an involuntary purr in spite of her meek protests.

“Not at all, but I think we both find enjoyment in it. But as you wish, let’s eat then.” He gave her a compassionate look before pressing himself off the ground and taking her with him. A short time later they’d finished their meal and were sitting on Veera’s bed.

“So…we ok?” He asked, taking her hand in his.

“Yes Russell, we were always ok. I think after what you told me the other night I felt like I had to…no. That’s the wrong word. I felt like I wanted to open up to you about my parents, about my past.”

“Thank you for trusting me like that Veera.” He whispered earnestly.

“You earned that trust Russell, but you’re welcome. After everything today, seeing my dad and seeing you talking to him too I just…I don’t know. It felt like a thunderstorm was raging in my head. I barely knew which way was up.”

“I know exactly how you feel.” He laughed softly, secretly glad he wasn’t the only one suffering from ‘hamster wheel brain’.

“I do understand what you told me about Jess. It was…a little hard to hear to be honest, but I understand why it had to be said. You have as much time as you could ever need. You know that right?” She brought her nose close to his, making sure he could see the seriousness in her eyes.

“I do. Thank you.”

“Thank you for thinking of me. Do you want to stay?” She tried, knowing the likely answer. He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, focusing on her scent strongly for the first time. It was earthy and subtle, like wine. He wasn’t sure he wanted to leave.

“I have to.” He finally spoke. She didn’t protest, wrapping her arms around him instead. Slowly he returned the gesture, happy to indulge her.

“Then just be careful, please. You don’t have your armor.”

“I will be. I’ll have my gun at all times and Io will be watching my back. Goodnight Veera.” He released her and stood slowly before making his way to the door and gathering his things. She followed in order to see him off, padding softly across the room.

“You really are the most un-Cauthan man I’ve ever met.” She informed him happily. After a brief bout of surprise, he flashed her a grin.

“I should hope so.”