Alf climbed unsteadily onto one foot, leaning heavily on his cane. “My wife and I just got attacked by a monster,” he called out to the soldier. “Neither of us can walk. My wife’s hurt really bad.”

“Don’t move.” The man’s eyes narrowed. He held his sword out in front of him like it was a torch. Three of the soldier’s companions advanced cautiously, spreading out to cut off all possible avenues of escape.

Which was ridiculous. Alf glanced down at his bloody, tattered tunic. He looked like something the cat would drag in. And Blix looked even worse.

Jane? Can you tell if these guys are players?

No response. Come to think of it, he hadn’t heard from her in a while.

“Thank goodness you guys are here,” he said out loud. “We were afraid you were another monster.” He limped towards the first soldier, ignoring the man’s growing agitation. The guy’s grip was all wrong. All of the soldiers were holding their swords wrong. Apparently, they’d never watched any old movies. Which made sense, now that he thought about it. The aliens had only been human for two days. According to Jane, they had no clue how RPGs worked. They didn’t know about grinding. They didn’t know about leveling up. And from the looks of things, they hadn’t even figured out opposable thumbs.

“Don’t move!” the soldier shouted. “Someone bring the chains!”

“Tell you what,” Alf said low enough for only the man to hear. “You seem like a nice guy.” He stepped forward and settled into an overhead guard stance. “Put your sword on the ground, and I’ll let you walk away.”

“Quick! He’s going to attack. Bring the—”

Alf leaped forward, whipped the cane around in a full circle and smashed the heavy end into soldier’s sword arm.

The guard dropped to the ground, screaming like it was the first time he’d experienced pain. Which maybe it was. So weird.

The other soldiers were running now. One of them, the beefiest of the bunch, tripped over his feet and faceplanted into the rocky trail. Alf swung at the man’s unprotected wrist as he raced past. He was a bit disgusted with himself, but something about chaining human-looking beings to a wagon made his blood boil. It didn’t matter whether this was a game or not; slave chains weren’t okay.

The four soldiers by the wagon advanced as a group. The one in the lead swung her sword back and forth like a crazy woman.

Alf skidded to a stop, scrambling backwards as the woman charged at him. She might not have much experience with swords, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that momentum plus blade equaled ouch. He turned and ran, but one of the soldiers broke away from the group and headed towards Blix.

Crap. He really should have thought things through better. Still running from Food Processor Lady, he angled towards Blix, but he wouldn’t be able to get there anywhere close to fast enough. Put three stat points into dexterity, he hurled the thought at his stats interface without opening it.

His muscles tingled like he’d touched a live wire. He stumbled a few steps, but then his feet caught up with his body and he was running faster than he’d ever run in his life. But still not fast enough.

The soldier lunged towards Blix. His sword slashed out, arching down on her as she tumbled towards his legs.

A flash of blood.

The soldier went down.

Alf brought his cane down on the man’s neck and leaped over the tangle of limbs. Food Processor Lady tripped over the pile of bodies as Alf plodded to a stop and turned to face her. She was halfway to her feet when he whipped his cane into the elbow of her sword arm. He took out her other arm and bashed a dent in the crown of her helmet before chasing after the other soldiers, but they were already halfway to the bend in the trail.

“Blix!” He turned back and dragged the still thrashing woman away from the pile of bodies. “Blix?” His heart pounded in his ears as the rolled the man’s body off his friend.

She glared up at him. “Your wife?”

“The sword, the cut… Where?”

“In your dreams.”

“What?” He spotted a band of red on her thigh and dropped to his knees. “Um… Is if okay if I…” He moved a hand towards the six-inch-long cut and froze. “I don’t know if I need to…”

“Just do it,” she said through gritted teeth.

He pressed his palm to her thigh, grimacing as white-hot pain flowed down his arm and pooled in his hand.

“Whoa… That feels really good.” She rolled onto her side and covered his hand with her own. When the pain finally subsided, he looked under his hand. The cut had completely healed.

“We should probably get going,” she finally said. “If those guards come back with reinforcements…”

“Right.” He swung her onto his back and headed towards the horses and wagon.

“Seriously,” Blix said. “We need to go. Now.”

“But all those people…” He jogged up to the wagon. “Hey, I’m Alf and this is Blix. Um… Do you guys know where the keys are?” He pointed to the manacled leg of a male elf that looked to be about his age.

“The big man with the golden helmet,” the elf said. “I think his name—” His voice cut off like someone had hit pause.

“Just leave us be,” said a dwarf-looking woman with a chain around her neck. “They’ll come back for us soon enough. The Almighty Unconquerable wants a war, so war there will be.”

“Is that what you all want?” Blix called out. “Do you want to go off and die in this unconquerable guy’s war? Or do you want to play your own game?”

“We don’t have a choice,” the dwarf woman growled. “He’s the king now. We work for him.”

“This is an RPG. You can do whatever you want.”

That earned her more than a few raised eyebrows.

“Do you want to fight this guy’s war for him?” she asked. “Or do want to party with Alf and me? It’s the whole group or nothing. The decision has to be unanimous.”

A shouted discussion ensued, but it quickly became clear than no one was particularly thrilled with the direction the game had taken.

“If you can get us out of these chains.” Dwarf Woman spoke for the group. “We’ll try things your way.”

“Alright then. Alf, help me onto the bench and hand me the reins.”

* * *

Name: Jane

Level: 5

Class: Paladin

Health: 225/225

Stamina: 184/195

Mana: 784/784

Exp: 15/2800

Attr Points: 0

Skill Points: 0

ST: 13

DX: 14

CN: 15

IQ: 28

CH: 16

Combat Skills:

Faire du Canne 7: (Effective Skill: 9.45, Basis: ST+DX, Enhancement: 28.4%)

Grappling 1: (Effective Skill: 1.33, Basis: 2ST+DX, Enhancement: 4%)

Crafting Skills:

Woodcrafting 1: (Effective Level: 2.1, Basis: DX+IQ, Enhancement: 6.3%)

Spells: (Basis IQ)

Minor Healing 5: (EL: 14, Cost: 25, Freq: unlimited, Effect: 42 points)

Major Healing 2: (EL: 5.6, Cost: 35, Freq: 1/hr, Effect: 200cc tissue regen)