Gerry felt feeling slowly returning to his extremities. He’d blacked out. He knew that much. He didn’t know for how long, or in what shape he was in. All he knew was that Death did something to him. Something instinctually wrong.

He pushed his way to his feet, shook his head, and tried to get his bearings. He felt like someone stuck his head between two gongs, gave a group of eight year olds a metric ton of sugar, and let them get all their energy out at his expense. He shook his head to try and dislodge the pain, but it didn’t work. It should have worked. He was very aware that his Infernal nature should have used the æther to heal something as mundane as a headache, but it persisted.

“You need to make a selection, Gerry Dear.” Death was standing close by. “Choose what tastes good.”

Gerry didn’t understand her, but her bringing attention to it made him feel what she was referencing. There were distinct differences all around him. He wasn’t sure how they ‘tasted’, but his head was really starting to pound, so he grabbed the nearest one. The scent of cloves filled his nostrils, and he felt like he’d eaten Sriracha.

Death looked on with approval. “It’s easiest to choose what’s most familiar. We’ll broaden your pallet in time.” She turned away from him and focused on a man standing about twenty yards away.

“No hug for your big sister?” Death smiled and took a step toward God. God stepped back, and Death’s smile broadened. “Are you still scared of me, Brother?”

Gerry gulped and had the sudden urge to puke.

He had never seen God before. He doubted anyone outside of Heaven had really seen the Primordial, but he was not impressed. God wore a standard brown robe tied together by a plain piece of rope at the waist. The rope had to work a little harder than normal because of the gut on the deity. It made him look like Saint Francis’ fat brother. His face was nondescript, his brown hair was unimaginative, even his eyes were dull. If Gerry passed this guy on the street he wouldn’t have given him a second glance.

“I’m not here to impress you,” God’s eyes looked past Death and straight at Gerry.

Gerry couldn’t help but pee himself a little bit. God might look plain, but the power and majesty in his voice was anything but. Gerry had been spending so much time with Death that he’d forgotten what it was like to be facing an unfriendly primordial.

“Play nice you two,” Death chided them both, and brought their attention back to her.

“You’ve created an abomination,” God spat and the city rumbled from his agitation. “It’s against everything we swore to obey.”

“Swore to obey,” Death doubled over with laughter. “What are we obeying anything for? Please, enlighten my, Brother.” Death crossed her hands across her chest and tapped her foot against the ground. With each tap a building collapsed in the distance. “I look around and I see a broken toy, and it’s not even your toy!” she laughed. “You stole this toy from your brother and you broke it. You can’t control the pieces on your own chessboard, Brother. They instinctually go against everything you have strived to teach them, and some of the worst offenses, they do in your own name. Talk about irony.” She barked, pulverizing an adjacent building down to its molecules. “Admit it, Brother. You killed your own brother for these things and they are an utter disappointment to you.”

“Enough!” The East and Hudson Rivers rose several feet and flooded into the city before subsiding. The space around God rippled with his sour mood.

“Looks like I struck a nerve,” Death looked over her shoulder and gave Gerry a wink.

Gerry headache was gone. In fact, he felt like a million bucks. The scent of cloves still lingered, and he felt an after taste of spice on his tongue, but he felt like he could take on the world.

He was pretty sure that Death and God could read his mind, and he didn’t want to irritate either of them.

“Don’t talk to me about murdering our siblings. You started that.” It was obviously God was visibly trying to constrain himself.

“Don’t put that waste of æther on a pedestal,” Death waved her hand in front of her like she was banishing a fart. “He made you look like a hellion. Do you remember him?” Death put her arms at her side and stared straight ahead. “Everything must be precise. No deviations are acceptable. You are one one thousandth of a centimeter out of position.” She made a robot voice before turning and spitting on the ground. “I did existence a favor by getting rid of him. But you, little brother, you killed poor Cronus. The curious one of us. He might not have agreed with you, but he respected you.”

“You’re impossible!” God shot back. “Whenever I do something its wrong, but when you do the same thing its ok.”

“That’s the gist of it,” Death smiled sinisterly. “So, what do you say?” She cracked her knuckles and the planet seemed to hold its breath. “Are we doing fisticuffs and putting this place out of its misery?”

God looked like he wanted to. He really did, but Gerry saw something in his eyes that he’d never expect to see in a billion years: fear. God wasn’t sure he could win a fight with Death. Death had been telling him that since Gerry met her, but it was an out-of-this world experience to see it confirmed by God himself.

“I’m waiting,” Death sounded eager and bored at the same time.

God took a deep breath, visibly shook himself, and looked away in the universal sign of defeat.

“Ah well, maybe another time.” Death smiled, turned her back on God, and gestured for Gerry to follow.

“No.” The command stopped Gerry in his tracks, but got nothing more than an exasperated sigh from Death. “He is an abomination. He can’t be allowed to stand.”

“Oh he’s gonna stand,” Death challenged, “on his own two feet with a big swinging dick.” She looked excited that they might brawl after all.

“You took Gabriel from me. You took my son. I demand retribution.” God looked pissed, but not pissed enough to go to war with his sister.

“Hmmm,” Death pursed her lips and seemed to be deep in thought.

While she pondered. The leviathan rumbled into sight. Like a dog seeking its master, her eyes found Death. Death smiled, “Get him, Girl.” She pointed at God.

The beast new what that meant, and with a challenging roar, charged the Lord of Heaven. It was almost comical. The five hundred foot gargantuan was stampeding toward a fat man dressed like a monk who didn’t top six feet. To a layman it looked like she was going to scoop him up and have a pint-sized snack, but Gerry knew better. Even though he’d watched the leviathan had driven Michael, Lucifer, and an injured Beelzebub from the field of battle, it was no match for a primordial.

There was a loud crack, like lightening had struck the earth at Gerry’s feet, followed by a blinding white light. When Gerry’s vision returned, and spots stopped dancing like sugar plum fairies in his vision, the leviathan was slain. It wasn’t just slain. God had fileted the beast. All that was left was clean bones that toppled down the street. They still destroyed everything in their path, but they skid to a halt just short of God. The dust didn’t even settle on his robe.

“Well, there you have it. An eye for an eye. I took one of yours, and you took one of mine.” Death clapped her hands, and the bones turned to powder.

“The beast was Cronus’ not yours,” God argued.

“Cronus has been dead for a long time. No one knows that better than you,” Death retorted. “And it was clearly following my orders, just like Gabriel was following yours when you came here, along with the other minor angel you sent with him. She’s around here somewhere.” Death likened Ava to misplaced keys.

Ava took the moment to push herself out from under some rubble. She still looked battered from Death’s slap, but she was alive. God waved her over, and after placing a hand on her shoulder she looked as good as new.

“Father, I…”

“Shhhh.” God shook his head and silenced her. “I know.”

“Like I said, our business is concluded here.” Death stated. “See you around.” She grabbed Gerry’s hand and…

“Wait.” This time it wasn’t a command, but when Gerry turned back around he did not like the twinkle he saw in God’s eye. “Do you fancy a wager, Sister?”

Death’s body vibrated with anticipation. “Always, Brother.”

“You and I will retire from the battlefield and let our champions fight in our stead. Winner takes control of this island.”

“Deal,” Death answered immediately. “But no alterations to them starting,” she placed her hand on Gerry’s shoulder and he felt a rush of energy, “now.”

God grimaced, but didn’t make any moves towards Ava.

“We’ll leave you two to it,” Death gave Gerry a smack on the ass like he was about to run out of the tunnel for Monday Night football. “Here’s a chance for some payback.” Death whispered the incentive.

Gerry didn’t know if God had any words of wisdom for Ava, because when he turned around, the primordial was gone. All that was left was him, and a small vortex of dust stirred up by the void suddenly created by the departing primordials.