“Hang on!” Nightfang cried, heaving the helm to the right. With his vampiric strength and reflexes, he was a better choice than the zombie. The ghost ship sailed in front of Riepaimva, broadsiding him with the cannons and grenades.

“What is this.” the eldritch being said, clearly annoyed. Less than a mile to the Daemon Sultan’s court, and they pop up again. Cockroaches. They’d shaken off most of the monsters, but still pressed forward to face a god. “Fools.”

“GIVE THE BLIGHTER EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT!” Captain Blackwell bellowed, chopping into a black beast with a spectral saber.

“Aye-aye, Captain!” Cross growled, hefting the rocket launcher from the turret and aiming a stream of grenades up to Riepaimva’s face.

“Insolent. Ach’lthenos gvocka, ach’lthenos gvocka, ach’lthenos gvocka,” he incanted, all the remaining monsters there smashing together and forming into a large mutant mass, twenty feet tall, squashing skeletons and zombies when it landed. “Play with that for now. Daddy has business elsewhere.” With that, he began to move around the ship.

“No!” Leo cried, pointing his sword at the god in defiance with his remaining arm. “If you want to wake that thing over there, you’ll have to kill each and every one of us to do it! We will not stop otherwise!” he shouted proudly, blood still running down a cut on his head.

“Very well. Terms accepted.” He gestured to the monster. It roared and reared up, but the team was ready.

“Zessshing-onatoth!” Nightfang cried, biting his arm open. The blood flowed out like a ribbon, wrapping around the abomination’s legs. He grunted in pain, but Nightfang held like a hero as he grunted and hefted, knocking it over. Leo walked over and shoved his blade through the thing’s eyes. Though it was missing the power of Zet-Mathaig, it was still a supernaturally exceptional sword. The creature moaned as the flame of life was extinguished, Leo turning to glare at Riepaimva.

“Send whatever you want, you’ll never get us with those little tricks. My cause is righteous and my friends are with me. You’ll have to do better than that.”

“Humph. You’re righteous, all right. No left in you.” Riepaimva snorted. “Very well. Since you are literally asking for it, taste my power. Zagthen, zagthen, zagthen, entimeous…” Riepaimva’s neon eye burned, and every person aboard the Dead Man’s Hand felt like their heads were caught in a vice. Nigel collapsed to the deck, visions of slaughter filling his mind. The streets of New York were painted red, monsters attacking innocent people. They were chewed, clawed up, and mangled ceaselessly. And he was helpless to stop it.

“Euuuuaaaaaaghhh!” Vanessa saw herself attacking Riley, making her brain bubble and boil out of her nose and ears. As Vanessa placed a hand on her little sister’s head, chanting, Riley whimpered and went comatose. Vanessa could feel the smirk on her lips, and she tried to rip them off.

“NO! NOT AGAIN!” Nightfang screamed. His hands were on his mother’s mutated head, twisting and snapping. Over. And over. And over. He screamed again, twisting and turning.

The crew was affected as well, each ghost wailing in torment and regret, visions filling long-dead minds, torturing them. Some thrashed, some prayed for it to cease, others just stood there aghast.

“Urg…” Cross muttered, holding a hand to her head. Girls hung from nooses, charging suspects were gunned down by her own hand, witches attacked. She could hardly tell what was really happening. “No-we, we have to…” A girl’s corpse hung from the ceiling, staring at her with dead, bulging eyes. Why couldn’t you save me, they said. She looked to her left. Blood and gore, gruesome human remains from every crime scene she’d ever been at littered the ground. To her right was every abuse victim she’d come across. There were…there were…

There were far too many children.

“NO!” Gathering all her focus, she balled a fist and slammed her head, concentrating on the pain. “This…this isn’t real. It’s another one of his tricks.” she growled, gritting her teeth so hard they strained. She shook her head violently. The ship. Focus on the ship.

The visions didn’t quite disappear, but faded. She looked around, and saw she was the only one free from Riepaimvas’ spell. “God I hate this crap.” She saw Crenshaw staring ahead, eyes twitching, the grenade launcher at his feet. “Crenshaw, you alright? Need you to move-” She placed a hand on his shoulder to push him aside, but everything went black for a moment.

“Huh?” Suddenly, it was her and Crenshaw, watching a less grey General Kimball swearing a much younger, less lined, and overall…lighter Crenshaw in with a group of other young men.

“Soldiers, today you embark on a new journey to protect these United States. Your contributions will never be known, nor officially recorded. But it is the goal of the Unknown Agency to curtail things like what happened in that German village. Understand?”

“Sir yes sir!” Crenshaw replied smartly, saluting with a…and Cross had to pause, with a smile.

“The hell is this!?” she said, turning to the older Crenshaw. He was shaking, muttering “No…no…don’t do it…” over and over. Another man elbowed Crenshaw playfully.

“Well, he can keep a secret no problem. He never told Mel about that time with his mom!”

“Shut up, guys.” presumably Mel said tiredly, and they all laughed. It was strange to see the dour agent laughing happily.

“C’mon Justin, I’m buying today. I still owe you from last time.” young Crenshaw said, leading the man who joked out. He snorted.

“Dude, you’ll never be able to pay me back, you’re hopeless with money.” Justin said, and Crenshaw rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah.”

Cross watched in astonishment as the scene shifted, Crenshaw trembling under her palm. There was a long, dark corridor in some kind of lab, Crenshaw bleeding and frantically pounding on a sealed door.

“Justin! Justin! Don’t do this man, don’t do this!” he cried into a radio. Cross could barely make out Justin through the reinforced window to the darkened room, smiling sadly.

“That’s a nugatory, man. I have to.”

“No! What’s going on!? We got your distress call and now you’ve sealed yourselves off!?” young Crenshaw shouted, pain on his face. “What was that last message about? Why did you kill everyone!? Don’t do this!”

“Sorry man, can’t let you know what’s up. Class three entity. You know what it is, what it does, it lives on. This’s the only way to kill it. We’re the last ones. You ready guys?” There was a chorus of sad agreements. “Sorry. Goodbye.” The radio projected gunshots, and Cross turned away from the flashes of muzzle fire form the window. Both Crenshaws stared helplessly at it, transfixed.

Then the world shifted, playing out the same story again.

“We do not have time for this!” Cross snarled. “Crenshaw!” she bellowed loud enough to make him turn. Just enough so she could deck him with a right hook.

“C-Crss? Yumn…” The shared vision faded as Crenshaw slumped in the corner, K.O.’d.

“Hey, hey! Wake up!” She shook him, slapping his face, but he was out. “Crap. At least he’s out of that nightmare.” She glanced at Riepaimva, walking back to the clouds. “Crap.” She reached down, grabbed Crenshaw’s M19, and hauled both his and hers to the railing. “EAT THIS!” She let loose full auto with both grenade launchers. Aim wasn’t important, the only thing was to get Riepaimva’s attention. And as the grenades exploded on the black body, hitting the clouds on either side, Riepaimva did indeed notice. He turned his baleful pink eye directly on her and her alone. She froze as chills ran through her body. So much pure, furious hate.

“What does it take to be rid of you pests?” Riepaimva said, raising a six-fingered hand, a familiar chant being sung. Light gathered in it as he performed the spell.

“Uh-oh.” Cross said. “Wake up! Wake up! We gotta move!” she shouted, trying to turn the helm but only spinning in place. How did you fly this thing!?

Riepaimva fired.

“GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!” Captain Blackwell roared, the supernova once again passing through them as his ghostly power made them intangible.

“Holy crap!” Nightfang cried out, the intense light snapping them out of their traumatic visions. He saw the captain kneeling on the floor, panting. “Oh no!”

“Afraid I won’t be putting on a repeat show, lad.” he said, doffing hi shat. He seemed dimmer, and more translucent than normal. “I’m, I’m spent. If t’wernt for young master Scott, I’d be with the Lord now.”

“Chill, chill, you’ll be okay.” he said, trying to comfort the ghost.

“No. He won’t.” Riepaimva was suddenly there, looming over the ship. “You have tested my patience for the last time. Enough. Hev’wgathos, venietesze.” was chanted hundreds of times at once, from mouths opening on his body. Nightfang, Cross, and Nigel all tried to attack, but bounced off a forcefield materializing not twenty feet from the hull. “That should keep you mice in your cage. Just watch as I wake the creator and end this charade of reality.” He turned once again to the clouds holding Azathoth’s presence.

“So that’s it!”

“Oh for Azathoth’s sake!” Before him, standing bloody but defiant, the last one between him and his goal. Having snuck off the ship, proud and ready, pointing his sword with his remaining arm: Leo. He grinned.

“I thought it was strange, but now I see your game. You’ve got certain biological advantages over us, but you’re not really that much stronger than even me, aren’t you? Zet-Mathaig, the uylata spider, all of them are bigger and more powerful than you. When they worked their mojo, I’ve never seen them cast a spell like Scott does. But you’re throwing them around like candy. For all your talk of superiority, you really don’t have that much, do you?” he said, the pieces coming together. Riepaimva narrowed his eye, staring at the champion.

“You’re a clever one, aren’t you.” he said at last. “If you’ve figured that much out, I suppose I could congratulate you. I am considered barely a wisp, cosmically speaking, by myself. However, this changes nothing.” His eye burned hotter, the waves of malevolence emanating from him palpable. “I have compensated for my…deficiencies. I know thousands of rituals, thousands of spells, incantations, and sigils. No matter the source of my power, I am far beyond anything you could imagine. If you tried to know all I do your mind would rupture. Now, little fool…” He reached down, grabbing Leo and bringing him up to eye level, the boy’s stabs futile without the might of Zet-Mathaig. “What do you think you can do about it?”

Leo struggled and strained and stabbed, but nothing would loosen the grip. The god squeezed tighter, making him cry out in pain as his ribs contracted.

“You…won’t win…” he gasped, trying to swing the blade but failing. There was a familiar blackness building behind his eyes. Yu never forgot your first death, after all.

“I have. There is nothing anyone can do. I have overcome all obstacles in my path. My era-long plans have come to fruition. And there is nothing you can do to stop me, you weak, pathetic little man.” He turned and flung Leo into the ship through the forcefield.

“Yaaaahhh!” Too fast, the deck was coming up too fast! The whole crew watched in horror as Leo flailed desperately, no one able to move in time. What could he do, what could he do! He was about to be splattered! He twisted and turned, there! The mast! If he could grab that-but his trajectory was too far away. He reached stubbornly, reaching, reaching… “Whaaaa!”

Something popped in his shoulder, and a green tentacle burst out of Leo’s stump and wrapped around the mast, stretching fifteen feet. He swung, bleeding off momentum before dropping heavily to the deck-Battered, bruised, but very much alive.

“Leo! What happened!?” Nightfang cried, the group rushing over. He panted, staring at his new appendage.

“This is unexpected.” he said, then looked up. “But…but that doesn’t matter. I failed.” He hung his head as they watched Riepaimva smile, striding into the clouds. He knocked shrines and altars aside, scattering the perpetual dancers with a single spell. The relentless drums stopped, and the horrible creature still sitting played his reedy flute desperately, oozing and trembling as the Calamitous Ruination loomed over him. The other gods cowered, helpless. The endless, chaotic mass of Azathoth bubbled and roiled. The end was here.

“Time to wake up.” He smiled with too many teeth, and reached down to snap the flute.

He stopped. In the silence, there was one voice still chanting incantations.

“Aztock, turath, neb emuu kashnoth serbaph jslatmon ha! Aztock, turath, neb emuu kashnoth serbaph jslatmon ha! Aztock, turath, neb emuu kashnoth serbaph jslatmon ha! Aztock, turath, neb emuu kashnoth serbaph jslatmon ha! Aztock, turath, neb emuu kashnoth serbaph jslatmon ha! Hey! RIEPAIMVA!”

There was a glow as the clouds beneath parted, that accursed toxic emerald green. The universe seemed to shake as the great corpse of Zet-Mathaig rose, groaning in a bizarre, elephant-like baritone. The enormous body rose up before Riepaimva like a wall, blocking him from his master as the tentacles waved.

“No no no no no no no…” Riepaimva whispered breathlessly. There, fused waist-deep into the mass of flesh above Zet-Mathaig’s eyes, flinging off his black coverings, was a bone-white skeleton, pupils glowing green.

“Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” He gestured wildly, spreading his arms as the god rose as a subservient zombie, ready to obey his commands. “It worked! I can’t believe it! It worked! I mean, of course it worked! I am a genius, after all!” Scott’s voice echoed across the silent universe.

“You…wretched mortal! How DARE YOU! You think…you think a GOD is your PLAYTHING!?” Riepaimva shouted, subtly chanting and growing extra arms. A double ridge of spines protruded along his spine, his rage and magic transforming him into a fiercer, more feral state. Scott grinned down at him.

“Usually no. But zombies? Zombies are my jam. And if the subject of reanimation happens to be a lifeform commonly referred to as divine, well…” The skeletal shoulders shrugged.

Everyone on the ship stared at him wordlessly. There could be no words. He had animated and controlled undead before, even on a large scale. But this…but this…

“He…he…” Vanessa gaped. Leo’s mouth opened and closed.

“S-Scott-please be careful with my god.” he whimpered, impressed and terrified beyond anything else.

“That’s it. I give up. That’s it. How-how even the hell!” Cross said, throwing her hands in the air. “You. Get me the strongest alcohol on board.” she told a trembling zombie, pointing a finger.

“B-But we don’t h-have any!” he protested.

“Ugh. Figures.” Cross leaned back against a wall and crossed her arms. If it was out of her hands, she could sit back and watch the show. The kid pull a hell of one on.

“HA HA HA! I feel great! The rush! The power! So this is what it is to be a god!” Scott declared, cackling madly. “My ritual worked! Truly, necromancy is the ultimate art! There can be no other!”

“Necromancy is a minor skill that should have been lost aeons ago! This perverse corpse puppetry is as obscene as you!” Riepaimva shouted. Scott grinned mercilessly, the eyelights glowing brighter.

“Oh? So you say? And who’s gonna kick who’s ass with said so-called, ‘minor art!?’” Zet-Mathaig’s zombie roared, lashing out with his many tentacles. Unfortunately, Riepaimva completed his spell and vanished. “Where-?”

“Here, fool!” There was a black fist aimed right at the skeleton, but Scott lazily waved a hand and a tentacle sprouted, blocking the hit.

“Ah-ah ahh, it’s not that easy!” he taunted, pulling the tendrils he’d snaked behind Riepaimva back, tripping the god. “Gotcha!”

“Please.” Riepaimva rolled his eye, before merely stepping back from the flailing limbs. Scott stumbled as Zet-Mathaig fell down, not stopping. Riepaimva peppered the zombie with spells.

“You are a mortal. You cannot even conceive of what it takes to fight on our level! It would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic!” He grabbed a tendril and ripped it off, reshaping it into a jagged blade covered in evil symbols. “You are weak.” He sliced into Zet-Mathaig, letting loose a strange fluid that passed as blood. “You are stupid.” He cut through tentacles like mowing grass.

“No! No! Stop!” Scott cried, jerking and flailing as tentacles fell away, desperately trying to halt the attack. Regrowing more limbs was child’s play, but soon the Elder God would…

“You are done for.” Riepaimva had hacked his way to the heart of the zombie, where the skeleton had been ensconced. He gaped at the cyclopean eye in abject terror. “You thought you could actually make a change. This was destined to happen, there is no other outcome. You are stupid. How could you even think this was a good idea? You’re nothing. Just a little boy running wild with a side act. YOU have no place in this world. And I will rectify the sin of existence.”

“No! Nooooooooo! Get away!” The bones threw out a hand, shooting more tentacles. Riepaimva easily dodged them, coming into range.

“No!” Nightfang gasped.

“Tell me this isn’t happening.” Leo muttered in disbelief.

“Kid, no…” Cross said, unable to process what was happening. The kid was supposed to show up with some big crazy new thing and save the day. That’s how it had ben. That’s how it should’ve worked.

“I’m scared!” Vanessa cried, clinging to Nigel.

“I am too. But it’ll be over soon.” he said, smoothing down her hair but unable to tear his eyes away from the fight. From Scott losing. From Riepaimva…

CRUNCH!

At the last second, Scott had managed to form a protective barrier of zombified god tentacles around his bones, but Riepaimva smiled with all his teeth.

“Weak.” Riepaimva swung another black fist. “Weak!” Again. “Weak!” And again. “Weak! Weak! Weak!” Over and over with all of his fists, snarling like an animal, abandoning spells, techniques, and weapons to just pummel him in primal rage. “Weak weak weak weak weak weak weak WEAK!”

The tentacles cracked and broke. There was a moment of pure horror as the skeleton was exposed, then the fist met. Again and again. Zet-Mathaig roared and crumpled, the skeleton smashed into the flesh. Over and over.

“You have no business here! You have no right! Die, and die again!” The fists smashed into him without pause, breaking and crushing him into a pile of calcium, unable to be put back together. Riepaimva held his arms up and shouted triumphantly.

“No…he can’t…” Leo said in horror.

“KIIIID!” Cross yelled, eyes wide and wet. It had been hard to watch, but harder to look away. There was nothing left of Scott but space dust now.

“At last! All will be set right! The universe…the universe will end!” Riepaimva scrambled over the corpse of Zet-Mathaig. “At long last, this accursed existence will end!” On the ship the ghosts cried spectral tears, wailing. The humans, fishman, vampire, and betentacled Leo joined them, screaming helplessly or sobbing, clinging to one another for solace. Could comfort that it was, for the end was not only night, it was now.

“There will be nothing, nothing but what lord Azathoth creates when he regains his senses!” Riepaimva crowed in victory.

“Oh really? How do you know that this isn’t a pleasant dream he’s having, huh?” Riepaimva froze. Those on the ship stared in shock.

No. It couldn’t be.

Riepaimva mechanically shifted his eye to his feet, where the bones of Scott lay smashed to pieces, mostly dust. They were unmoving, and as he looked closer he could see the unmistakable sense of necromantic magic fading. Scott wasn’t merely dead, he was gone.

“Personally, if I were an omnipotent mindless god-being, I’d find all this highly entertaining. I wouldn’t want it to end.” Scott’s voice. But no ghost, shade, specter, or spook to speak. What was…? “Hey, down here. Over on your left.” Riepaimva examined the smashed bones, then looked a little further. He gaped. There, embedded into the flesh, was a large speaker, exactly the kind that was on that damned ghost ship.

“Wha…wha…”

“Yoo-hoo!” All eyes turned. Space broke and unfolded, Bess chanting frantically as she opened the pocket dimension Zet-Mathaig had holed himself in to spring the ambush.

Scott grinned and held up the microphone.

“And a big thanks to my main minion Bones, who played the part of decoy so well!” he declared with a flourish. He was flanked by his apprentices, their eyes rolled back as they uttered forbidden syllables form the Necronomicon in a trance, unable to stop. They were surrounded by the corpses of the monsters Riepaimva sent after them, the Zombie Titans standing over them imperiously.

“Get on with it bone boy, I’m tired.” Bess said, panting and falling to a knee. The other three had to concentrate on the ritual, while she and the zombies had to do everything else. Her fingers and throat ached from casting so much.

“You…you tricked me!?” Riepaimva said. “H-How!? I can see in over 400 dimensions, how-”

“Ah, but can is very different from did. Did you look at my decoy close enough?” Scott relied gleefully. “Look at me. Other than my mind, I’m just a skeleton. I had a skeleton minion. A spare black robe, and we’re the same. Add a hidden speaker and voila! The show was ready.”

“You-but-gaaah! It was such a simple trick, I could have seen through it at any moment! You mock me, filth! Who in their right mind tires to fool a god with puppets!?” Riepaimva foamed angrily. The extra casting mouths were opening, ready to chant. He was growing spikier as he got more worked up.

“No one, that’s who. Fortunately, my mind ain’t quite right.” Scott grinned. “And I really have to thank you. You’re the one who allowed me to pull it off with such aplomb.”

“W-What!?!?” Riepaimva sputtered.

“To capture my stylistic flair, I couldn’t just have a mindless zombie. However, it just so happens I ran into one of the Taboo users you’ve been using awhile back .He had a mere smattering of necromantic knowledge, but he applied it very creatively. Quite talented, I must say. I killed Bones and reanimated him…sloppily. Wouldn’t hold up long, but it didn’t need to. After all, talent borrows. Genius steals.” He held up his hand, the faint strings of dark magic connecting to the remains of Bones.

“But you have miscalculated. I’ll crush you now!” Riepaimva cried, cull of cold fury. He raised several hands to wipe away the fool. Scott just grinned.

“Heh, glad you enjoyed my magic trick. Oh, but a magician never reveals his secret, not until it’s too late anyway. I’d make a killing in Vegas.”

BBWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!

Riepaimva’s eye went wide.

“Speaking of which, allow me to introduce my very lovely assistant.” Scott said and stepped to the side, revealing Amber. Her skin was paler than white. Every vein bulged, trying to contain her rushing blood. Her fists were clenched and her teeth were grit as she held it together. Crystal blue lights flickered around her as she wrenched the ritual dagger from her chest, blood splattering everywhere but she didn’t seem to notice. She tossed it aside, and Scott dove to catch it.

“Babe, this was expensive, not to mention now has great magical significance!” he chided.

“Sorry.” she said, an odd tenor in her voice. She turned her eyes to Riepaimva, glaring. She opened her mouth, and Zet-Mathaig roared.

It was there. The golden sunlight yellow spectral image of Zet-Mathaig, waving angry tentacles at the puny Elder God. Amber took a step forward, the power and anger emanating across the universe. Riepaimva took a step back.

“You shall not prevail. I will avenge both myself, and every life you’ve ravaged in the name of your pointless destruction!” she thundered.

“W-What’s going on!?” Nightfang said. Scott answered with a grin.

“We had Amber possessed by the ghost of Zet-Mathaig. What, you think a wizard does the heavy lifting himself? That’s what pawns are for!” Scott cackled madly as Amber was there, smashing Riepaimva’s eye in with both fists, sending him reeling.

“Grr...I killed you once, I can do it aga-urk!” Amber flew through his black body, blasting a hole in it.

“You’re the reason both of us died in the first place. You can’t escape.” she said, moving the spiritual tentacles into the hole. Riepaimva howled as the ghostly tendrils infected him, ripping apart his form from the inside out.

“Not yet!” Riepaimva grabbed his own head and twisted it off before his body disintegrated, hurriedly casting every recovery spell he knew. Form his neck the black tarlike substance bubbled, reforming a new body. He narrowed his eye at amber, watching him calmly.

“I see you’re more vicious than that narrow-minded fool.” he said, and Amber nodded.

“You have to be eliminated. Nothing is safe until you are.” she said simply. She leapt, the spiritual mass soaring over Riepaimva’s head. “Avesh!” From every single tentacle came a blinding stream of gravity, concentrated enough to make a black hole. But before Riepaimva was struck, he teleported. Amber landed and raised an arm to block the supernova exploding on her back, reducing the force down to nothing. She turned to him angrily, smoking. “Those tricks won’t save you this time.”

“I see you’ve picked up a few yourself. Death has been good to you.” Riepaimva said, surreptitiously opening an eye on his side. Azathoth was right there. The goal wasn’t to defeat this girl, but to wake the creator. His back opened a mouth, chanting a spell. Black creatures formed from his essence and crawled off while his body flung spells at the possessed girl. They made it to the clouds, when-

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“TALLY HO! GOOD SHOW, GOOD SHOW LASS!” Both the cannons and Captain Blackwell thundered, blasting the monsters as Nightfang turned the ship, free form the cage.

“Shut your trap and fire!” Cross snapped, letting loose with the M19.

“Ah, my lady Cross! Such a spitfire! It reminds me of this one Spanish beauty, who-”

“Talk later! Explode now!” Connor said, jumping onto the ship, Bess on his back. Riley landed a second later. Bess immediately started throwing spells and curses at the monsters amid the fire.

“Zombies secured! We can’t let him get to Azathoth!” she cried.

Riepaimva blinked as he dodged and slithered through spiritual tentacles. How? How had this come to pass? These stupid little monkeys were so far below him. They thought they were playing heroes. Just like the rest of them! All of them, all of them, they couldn’t see what was right. This reality was not the one that truly mattered. They weren’t real, none of them were, none! All merely figments Azathoth dreamed up mindlessly, as ephemeral as a mirage. Why couldn’t they see that they didn’t even deserve to exist?

“You rotten wretches will not get in my way!” he cried. Glancing to the side, Mephistopheles had Mephitomonagnarious in a headlock, both struggling mightily but there would be no help form him. He looked forward as he threw yet another supernova, and it was pushed out to the far reaches of the universe by the girl. Even Zet-Mathaig couldn’t merely ignore those! “What’s going on? Why are you so strong!? Zet-Mathaig alone couldn’t have made you this powerful!”

“Because I’m not alone!” she boomed, echoing through existence. “My friends are here, as is my family!”

There was a psychic shout as the uylata roared in agreement, the mother spider prominently joining in. Riepaimva could feel them, see them clearly as their collective power surged through Amber. Zet-Mathaig’s supported both. And he could see the strong will of the girl determined to protect everyone, all coming together and shining brighter than the stars. He hissed; such power even his spells had a hard time affecting. If he kept fighting like this, he would never be let near Azathoth again. He narrowed his eye, but grinned. The ultimate destruction of everything did deserve a grand finale, after all.

“I’m not done yet! Ill face you with everything I have! No one is stronger than I!” he bellowed, putting his hands together at his side as nuclear radiation began building up, taxing even his divine prowess. Had to make this good.

“You won’t win! I’ll stop you!” Amber cried, surging forward, the hopes and dreams of everyone entrusted to her, her friends beside her as she raised a furious shining fist.

“Pathetic fool! Your desperate hope will be your downfall! The only thing that matters is power, and I’m stronger than you, mortal!” he cried as his mouths chanted, springing out black tendrils to attack her as she flew at him. They were erased by the holy light emanating from within her. He howled, letting loose a blast of force that Amber cut through, approaching him screaming. He grinned. These hero-types, they were so predictable.

“Diiiiiiieeeee!” The nuclear fusion blast suddenly curved, aiming at the ghost ship. Everyone froze at the deadly light.

“Nnng-!” Amber used all of her might to knock it away, then lashed out with her tendrils, Riepaimva doing the same, millions of tentacles hitting and retracting to hit again at the same time.

“I’m better than you!” Riepaimva said, whipping and parrying.

“I won’t lose! I can’t!” Amber declared, shouting and pushing with all of her might.

“Sucker.” Riepaimva said, watching the fight. He’d secretly shrunk down and left a hollow copy to battle her, sure to be destroyed any minute now. He’d never lost sight of the true goal of Azathoth. That was the only thing that mattered. He grinned and cackled as he ran to the chaotic cloud of shapeless form at the center of all.

“Lord Azathoth! Lord Azathoth! WAKE!” he cried, almost there.

“What!?” Amber said, pausing in the trading of blows.

“In Your name, I now wake-gak!” A large tentacle had wrapped around his neck, yanking him back.

“WA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Whoa! The power! The sheer magnitude of this POWER! HA HA HA HA HA!” Scott laughed. He rose, his body now actually fused to the grand corpse of Zet-Mathaig. He raised the tentacle to his eye level. “Now what have we here? A silly little mouse thinks he can conquer me!? Ha!”

“You…you…I’ll kill you!” Riepaimva screeched, trying to claw at him, all magic forgotten. Scott laughed again.

“Pathetic fool! You really thought you could win. Sorry, but I’m on the case. You nearly had it, too. A villain can always get one over on the good guys, and you did so perfectly.”

“Hey!” Amber protested. Scott smirked.

“But you see, your ability to predict heroes was also your downfall. You’re only focused on winning, while I’m five steps ahead! You’re a villain, which makes it easy to read for a villain-type like me, Riepaimva.”

“You played the game, and played it well. But you weren’t as smart as me, and weren’t ready to take on a NECROMANCER! SEKH!” He made Riepaimva cry out as he shot him full of necrotic energy, and flung him to Amber. She pummeled him with ghostly tendrils and knocked him back to Scott, whipping and rending him with Zet-Mathaig’s physical ones, bolstered by necrotic energy. Back and forth they savagely beat the helpless god, unable to form even a coherent thought for a spell. At least, no matter what happened, he would carry on, even if he died. Existence would fall!

Scott grabbed him and threw him up like a basketball.

“This’s the end for you! No more sealing, you’ll just come back! Prepare, RIEPAIMVA!” Both he and Amber shot above him, glaring down. “You think you can’t die? THINK AGAIN!”

They slammed their tentacles on him, blasting him straight down. The black shadowy mass disappeared into the swirling Nuclear Chaos below.

Riepaimva fell through…clouds, would be the closest sensation. He slammed onto the…ground? He groaned and stood up, pain wracking his essence. Beaten by two Zet-Mathaigs…ugh.

“W-Where-?” He looked around. Bluish, purplish, greenish, whitish, blackish mist billowed around him. There were…unknown shapes slithering just beyond his perception. What he could see was a rock. Shaped somewhat like an opening clam, with six outcroppings suggestive of stubby legs. His eye widened.

“L-Lord Azathoth…” he said breathlessly. This was where Azathoth was joined to the physical realm.

The rock shifted, and cracked open.

Mysterious shapes whirled inside, but out came a black elongated neck. It stretched up, swaying like a snake. Riepaimva stared at the mouthless, humanlike head. His eye blazed as bright as it could as he looked into the two.

“Wh-no. NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

The left eye, the left eye, contained….

EVERYTHING

The right eye was pure, absolute

NOTHING

Riepaimva clutched his head and shrieked in mortal terror as he stared into the eyes of Azathoth. There was literally nothing he had seen in his existence like this. He struggled to do something, anything, as seeing, his mind trying to comprehend Azathoth ate away at his personal existence, erasing him from reality. He was not alive. He was not dead. He simply was…not.

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Outside the swirling chaos, they could hear Riepaimva’s screams, until they ceased. Scott, hardly daring to believe it, jumped and crowed his victory to the heavens.

“It’s over! It’s OVER! WE DID IT!” he shouted jubilantly.

“Yeah!” Amber cried, waving her spiritual tentacles. Cries of joy broke out on the ship, everyone celebrating.

“Finally.” Cross sighed in relief, a smile crossing her face as she sat back and wiped her brow. She needed a stiff drink and a full night of sleep.

Until the mass of Azathoth rumbled.

Everyone could feel it, stomachs and spirits dropping as Azathoth stirred. Scott gaped in horror.

“N-No.” he gasped. “He…he WAKES!” This was it. Amber laid a hand on his shoulder.

“I have an idea. Mother Spider!” she called quickly.

‘I am here, child!’ the spider said telepathically.

“Take it, the power of Zet-Mathaig! Spread your telepathy to everyone!”

‘Uylata, expand your minds!’ the uylata spider commanded. The uylata concentrated. Their telepathic powers, directed and aided by the mother spider and empowered through the spirit of Zet-Mathaig reached across the multiverse, penetrating into the thoughts of all living beings.

‘Please! There’s no time to lose!’ Amber psychically implored. ‘There was an evil god, trying to wake something that’s going to destroy everything!’ Flashes of understanding, the flow of battle appeared throughout the minds of all. ‘Through great effort, we managed to defeat him. But Azathoth’s waking up! You can feel it! We have to try and put him back to sleep! Please, help me! We need…we need to calm him down! We need to sing him a song! Please, everyone! Join in! We can hear you, and everything will be alright!’

‘Lullaby, and goodnight, with pink roses bedight, with lilies o’erspread…’ she began. The uylata joined in, as did everyone on the ship.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Scott said in disbelief.

“If you’ve got a better idea…” Amber said, raising an eyebrow.

‘Soft and warm is your bed, close your eyes and rest your head…’ Scott sang in his mind.

It seemed hopeless. The uneasiness and shaking grew, the hasty plan not enough. Then, it happened.

‘Hey, wasn’t that that kid on the news?’

‘Necromancer! A necromancer trying to stop Azathoth!’

‘Why is a necromancer trying to save us? I though they cared naught but for destruction!’

What are the uylata doing? They’ve stopped their duty for this!? We must help them!’

‘The hell is that thing!? Make it go away!’

“Then sing! Sing a lullaby!’

‘Scott! When you get back, you’ve got so much explaining to do!’ Scott gulped. That last one felt…maternal.

But the message was heard. On Earth, even through the confusion, people began to sing. Out loud wasn’t necessary.

The bird-creatures began to trill on the planet Kr’ell. The insectoid sages of Pluto inscribed soothing messages with their brains. The living fires of Stonvgzloik-27 crackled and popped, hoping to send the creator of all back to sleep. Everyone, all races and species came together, unified in song, gently lulling the Daemon Sultan, the Nuclear Chaos, the Blind Idiot God back into a nice, deep rest.

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Deep, deep in the far corners of whatever, wherever else Azathoth truly was, he stirred, shifted, then fell back into a blissful, peaceful slumber.

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“Okay, good plan,” Cross said, keeping her mental voice joined with the rest. “Is he asleep yet!?”

“You’re still around, aren’t you!” Scott snapped, but wondered the same thing himself.

“I…I don’t know what to do from here! The kids I babysat were asleep by now!” Amber said. Azathoth’s ever-shifting…form? Billowed and retracted, over and over. It was impossible to tell if he was back to whatever passed for normal.

“Allow me to take it from here.”

There was a flash, a whirlwind of silver energy and white light sweeping across the cloud. Wherever it went, whatever it touched was righted. Shrines were rebuilt, alters set up, dancers back in their eternal gyrations, the vile drumming and flutes restored as if nothing had ever happened. Amber blinked, then descended to the deck of the ship, Scott infusing with his divine zombie to join her.

“Okay, what’s going on?” he asked, looking around and only seeing confused faces.

“My handiwork. Have to say, Mr. Havenbrook, it seems we owe you quite the debt for your work.” He turned around and saw a tall, pale man, dressed entirely in an immaculate white suit. White shoes, pants, shirt, vest, jacket, hat, not a speck of color save his skin. He was smiling, his eyes squinted up. “Yes, quite the debt indeed. Forgive me for my tardiness, but that Riepaimva was a thorough one. Quite the caster he was, making it so even we couldn’t get near the center of the universe. Don’t know where he got that from, but I’m glad it died with him.”

“Who’s this joker?” Cross said tiredly. She just wanted to go home to bed. The man smiled wider.

“A joker? Hah. Good enough a name as any, I suppose. On behalf of all of us, let me congratulate you Mr. Havenbrook, Miss Harris. Just call me Mr. Joker.” He winked at the skeleton, shaking his hand. Amber unconsciously slid away; there was something…off, about him. Even with the might of Zet-Mathaig and the uylata behind her, his presence made her uneasy.

“Thank you sir! Always a pleasure to save life, the universe, and everything.” Scott grinned, shaking back eagerly.

“Hmph. And we thought you were mostly harmless.” Both Scott and Mr. Joker grinned wider.

“My job here is to clean up and put right everything, nothing more. My bosses’ll be on my case if not. So we really should relocate from here, it’s not safe for you or anything else."

“Right. Captain! Take us home. Sekh!” Scott cast, channeling necrotic energy to repair every zombie and restore every ghost.

“Roger sir! SET SAIL, LADS!” Capitan Blackwell boomed, waving his saber as the undead crew got to work.

“So, um. Mr. Joker. Forgive me, but who are you?” Amber asked the man as politely as she could. He stroked his chin, smiling.

“That is an interesting question. I’m called many things, have done many things. Rest assured, you need not worry about that right now. I’m just here to clean up, make sure everything gets back to normal. Or as close to normal as anything is. Chaos is the rule of the universe, you know. But that, I find, is what makes things so interesting. A little more to starboard captain, if we’re to-” The ship rocked as Mephistopheles and Mephitomonagnarious crashed into the deck, still wrestling. Mephistopheles had his arm wrapped around his nephew’s throat, choking him out.

“Give up, boy!” he said exasperated.

“Ghhk-nvr!” Mephitomonagnarious managed to grunt. Joker smiled and tapped Mephitomonagnarious on the forehead.

“Sleep.” The daemon slumped over, and Mephistopheles relaxed at last, wiping the sweat from his head. “There you are sir. All brainwashing gone, all contracts nullified. Would be hard to keep going in any case, now that Riepaimva’s gone.”

“Oh? And who are you to-” Mephistopheles took one good look at Joker and his mouth snapped shut, his eyes wide. “A-Ah, y-y-yes. T-Thank you for your generosity, my lord.” he said, bowing low.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. We can talk later.” Joker dismissed, and Mephistopheles whimpered. Cross and Bess shared a worried look. “So Mr. Havenbrook. Most of the cosmic loose ends are being tied up. Save…” He glanced at the enormous zombie of Zet-Mathaig, trailing the ship, and Amber’s glowing form. Scott cracked his neck and sighed.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Personally, we’ve never seen eye-to-eye, but we cannot have mortals commanding gods. It simply will not do.” Joker said.

“I get it. Simple enough fix.” He stared at Zet-Mathaig, eyes dim in thought. “Just one thing first.” He put his boney fingers to his jaw and whistled. “Yo! Big guy!”

“Wait, how did he-” Nigel frowned, but Vanessa laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t question it. That way lies madness." she said with hard-earned wisdom. Scott was grabbed by a tentacle and they fused again, illuminated by a brilliant toxic emerald light.

“This power really is amazing.” he said, almost sadly. “So let’s put it to use.” With Zet-Mathaig’s otherworldly senses, he could easily reach Earth with his magic. He began to chant, enveloping the entire planet in necrotic energy. “Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Ael shith, tivam se ael nath! Follahl xerph'um estios! Ha! Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Ael shith, tivam se ael nath! Follahl xerph'um estios! Ha! Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Ael shith, tivam se ael nath! Follahl xerph'um estios! Ha!"

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Ms. Finch stared off blankly at the ruins of the town. Ed was curled in a ball several feet away, the corpse of the man not far. Neither had moved since the creature had passed through. Tears had long since dried in the twenty-seven hours since all hell broke loose. Now there was only stillness and ashes.

She clung to her daughter’s body, cold and stiff. Rigor mortis was setting in. The Finch widow didn’t care. Her light, her life was gone. The only thing she could do was try to hold onto whatever remained, no matter what. She knew she had to let go. That Ellie was never coming back. But she had to…eventually.

FWASH!

The land shook, waves of great and terrible, chilling power sweeping across everything. She stifled a scream as it felt like the hand of Death trailed down her spine…and moved on. For one frightening instant, grief was gone as everything was enveloped in a toxic emerald light.

IT faded as quick as it came, and Ms. Finch pulled her daughter’s body closer, cradling it. What now? What horrible thing was happening now!?

“M-Mommy?” Ellie croaked, coughing and blinking her eyes, Ms. Finch stared at her in rapture. Her heartbeat and pulse were back, her body starting to warm up. But she was cold, far too cold yet. The Finch widow wrapped her jacket around her daughter, weeping. “I’m hungry.” she said weakly.

“Oh, oh God! Baby! You’re back! You’re really back! Praise the Lord! Oh God, oh God…” Ms. Finch collapsed, sobbing. Ed raised his head.

“You bastard! You shot me!” the man said, his body healed of the bullet wound. Suddenly Ed was hugging him.

“You’re alive! You’re alive! This ib gread, ebrywun’s alibe!” he blubbered, tears and snot streaming down his face.

All those who met their end in town were starting to get up, shaking off the dirt and debris, wondering what happened.

“What’s going on, Mom?” Ellie said, trying to put it together. “Where are we? Where’s Mr. Finn?”

There. You’re welcome. Everybody gets one. Make good use of it.

rang in their heads at once. Not just in Pineway. Everywhere on Earth, for one instant all death in the previous day had been reversed. There was panic, there was laughter, there was fear; some died again right away, thanks to natural causes or precarious positions. But much, much, much more lived than perished, healed completely with the dark, arcane arts. Above all else, there were tears, and they were tears of joy.

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“Whew.” Scott said, hopping back on the ship. “That was tiring.”

“S-Scott, you…” Leo was smiling and beaming at him, so proud of the formerly misanthropic skeleton. He grunted and folded his arms.

“What was I supposed to do, huh? Everything’s messed up, it was the least I could do.” He saw Leo smiling, and sighed. “Go ahead.” He was pulled off his feet into a hug, much tighter than usual thanks to Leo’s new appendage. “Hnn! You’re…strong…” he gasped.

“Oh, sorry. This’s-uh, heh heh.” he chuckled helplessly and scratched the back of his head, waving the green tendril. Bess was staring at Scott.

“But…but…you don’t need to breathe!” she protested in defense of biology. Joker snickered.

“Ah, precious.” he muttered.

“Boss! You did it! You’re the greatest!” Riley shouted, grabbing his waist and swinging from it. “This’s great! We’re heroes!”

“Yeah. Can I be put down now, please?” he asked. Riley was still wearing her zombie armor.

“Sorry.” She gently set him down. “But this’s awesome!”

“Yeah! You both did very, very well. Thank you. I don’t think I could’ve cast that spell without three necromancers. Good job.” he said, hugging them both.

“So…we get ice cream?” Connor asked hopefully. Scott sighed and grinned.

“Yes, you get ice cream.”

“Yes!” Both kids pumped their fists.

“Oh lord, he’s infected them more than I thought.” Amber said, and Leo patted her shoulder.

“Hey, it could be a lot worse.” he pointed out. She sighed again and nodded, smiling. She glanced at her shoulder, the tentacle still resting on it. This was her life now. Then again, as she glanced at her pure white skin, she wasn’t one to talk.

“Alright!” Scott clapped his hands and touched Amber’s heart with a finger. “Let’s get this show on the road. Avzech’nus, avzeemus, cl’thgata hun…” He chanted, and Amber felt the overwhelming power drain away as her mind became hers alone once again. The gigantic ghost of Zet-Mathaig appeared next to the ship. “Okay. Connor, Riley, candles! Circle!”

“Right!” They scrambled to prepare a magic circle on the deck, overseen by Scott. He had the zombie lay a tentacle in the middle of it.

“That should work, right?” he muttered. “Alright. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Ael shith, tivam se ael nath! Follahl xerph'um estios! Ha! Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Ael shith, tivam se ael nath! Follahl xerph'um estios! Ha! Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Allaghvah, goochun esteros. Ael shith, tivam se ael nath! Follahl xerph'um estios! Ha!”

The zombie stilled as its’ corporeal form dissolved into essential salts. The divine spirit leaned back as it was covered in swirling blue dust, illuminated from both without and within, a soft glow that comforted all who saw it. With a burst of energy and light, Zet-Mathaig rolled its’ tentacles and roared across the universe. Leo’s sword appeared in his hand and burst into flame once more, warming his heart.

“Wow.” the champion said breathlessly. With that, Zet-Mathaig waved its’ tentacles and departed, crawling off into distorted space from whence it came. Joker nodded.

“The god’s in his heaven, and all’s right with the world I suppose.” he shrugged.

“Which does remind me,” Scott turned to him, eyelights glittering. “I seem to owe someone a debt for my return. I believe I’ve paid that in full, and then some.” Joker laughed, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Why Mr. Havenbrook, that’s a good one. You made a deal, boy. One that indebts you to us forever. There’s no getting out of it.” he said with a dangerous smile. Scott tilted his head.

“Really? Okay, let’s just go wake Azathoth again, put everything back the way it was before I-”

“NO!” everyone screamed and reached to stop him. Scott paused and grinned, turning an eyelight to Joker, more desperate than anyone to stop him, Joker gaped, then pulled his hat over his eyes.

“It seems you have the advantage, Mr. Havenbrook.”

“As always.” Scott said, leaning against the railing. “Besides, I don’t think that decision’s up to you. Think that’s with the boss of all y’all. We’re square. Got it?” There was a moment wi6th Joker looking off into space, then he smiled.

“It seems you’ve managed to pay off that debt, Mr. Havenbrook. A very dangerous game. That means we can do another deal in the future. This isn’t over between us, all of us.” he said, his eyes shining silver. Scott merely grinned.

“Wouldn’t dream of it. After all, I got a stake in all this now, wouldn’t want my hard work going to waste. Rest assured, this isn’t the last time you see me.”

“After all, I play games to win.”

Joker burst into laughter, rubbing Scott’s bald skull and skipping to the edge of the prow.

“Yes, Mr. Havenbrook! I like your style! This is one of the things that makes humans so interesting! I look forward to seeing the moves you make. Ta.” He bowed and hopped backwards off the ship, vanishing in space.

“That guy was creepy.” Amber said.

“You have no idea, miss. At least he’s gone now.” Mephistopheles said, wiping his brow. As the ship turned to head for the crack in reality, Amber hugged Scott close.

“It’s over, right? At last?” she asked, feeling safe and warm in his boney arms.

“Yeah. Told you I kick ass.” Scott grinned. She sighed and smiled.

“So you do. But that Joker guy was weird. Who was he, Scott?”

“On our side for only this instance. It’s a long, horrible story for that one.” Scott answered. “I’ll tell you later, if you’re not feeling squeamish. I’ll tell you what, though; he’s totally gnarly.”