This shouldn't have happened. Lvo'tjos is struggling, as he is incapable of severing the connection between him and the wannabe-ranger. Never, ever touch the spirit of an insane alfr, as it will contaminate you. Lvo'tjos feels how madness is about to seep into him, only his concentration keeps him pushing it away.

Like he was warned as a child, he can't sever the connection anymore! Lvo'tjos doesn't know high voltage power lines, but it's like them: The moment you touch one, your muscles start to spasm, causing you to clinch to the fence that's damaging you. It's the same with a hvur-spirit.

If it weren't for his [Avatar]-class, he might have already been driven mad. However, he's now incapable of doing much else but keeping the madness away. He has to knock out that human or get away as fast as possible. As the latter doesn't fit his style, he decides on the former.

Here he comes. A century of experience makes him move his body despite that immense pressure and the fear for his mental health. Still, he notices that the human now moves differently, driven mad by whatever he sees. He also doesn't care about consequences anymore.

With his spirit involuntarily occupied with keeping him safe from the human's insanity, Lvo'tjos needs to rely on his physical power. To his disadvantage, he's an [Avatar], one who encompasses mystical power. He needs to switch to [Sword Dancer]!

Ah, here it comes, the first attack. Lvo'tjos blocks with Ashenvalm, but he can't put any spirit into it. It may still be a nigh-indestructible weapon, but is as blunt as a bat. The force behind the human's attack is immense, but still not ’that’. He's just actually using the hero-system like intended.

Nonetheless, this isn't good. If Lvo'tjos could just kill him, things would be so much easier. Yet if he kills him, then his deity will be alarmed, which will make Big M's plans more difficult, which in turn will also hinder Lvo'tjos ambitions.

Lvo'tjos won't allow any uninvited delays on his agenda! So he will dance on the edge between madness, not killing the human and not provoking him, to get a step further.

―○●○―

“HIYA! HA! HYYYYYAAAAAARH!!!” Guttural sounds, bloodshot eyes, the face of a beast. I've never seen Ken like this before. Whenever he fought for his life before, he might not have been a model for self-control, but he was never that... feral.

He's lost in anger, lost in hatred, like he's at the abyss of human emotions. Like he embodies everything ugly about them. Looking at him gives me shivers, it makes me question his sanity. I'm scared. I'm so scared of him. Yet he looks so much in pain.

What is he seeing? What makes him want to kill it? I don't know. I don't know anything. The only thing I can do is to wake up Rine-chan who is weeping in her sleep. “sorry, so sorry, no, a lie...” What makes Ken so furious, while it makes Rine-chan so... pitiful?

“Arako, can you lift your [Sleep]-spell?”

“One moment please.”

Rine-chan opens her ember-like eyes that are red from crying. “Kyou... Ara...” Her expression shows self-disgust. “I- Dear-no! Kenta! Where-” She hears Ken's screams and I need to look up as a strange sound arises. It's a falling tree, Ken stands next to it, the spear still inside the trunk. He tears his weapon out and charges at the blue-haired alfr again.

It wasn't a thick tree, but was still about as wide as my waist. He never showed strength like that! Also, his speed, he's moving as fast as Rine-chan while the alfr moves slower than before, it looks like he has problems keeping up. The alfr still throws a punch, hurling Ken several meters away in the process, but Ken just turns his body mid-air to land on his feet and uses his [Speedthrust] to come right back into melee.

I can't keep looking at the fight. It's Rine-chan who needs help: “Rine-chan, please! Keep your act together!”

“I'm sorry, so sorry, because of me, just because of me.”

“Rine-chan!” I speak louder, but her eyes are blankly looking at Ken.

“Momo, let me,” Arako says. “Katarine-san, it was a mental attack from Lvo'tjos, so whatever you saw, it was just an illusionary image projected into your mind.” So [Spirit Magic] is capable of showing illusions? I didn't know.

Still, Arako's words fall on deaf ears. Rine-chan is so occupied by what she saw, that she doesn't even hear us. This is the same for Ken. Whatever that Lvo'tjos-guy did, it's too powerful.

Wait, what's that? Why is a ss'rak child running to us? “KATI!” She yells. I can see two adult ss'rak chasing her, most likely her parents: “YUU WEEK!”

“...Zhesha?” This girl however caused a reaction within Rine-chan. I'm wondering how the two of them are related, but I decide to bet on the girl—Zhesha?—as she caused Rine-chan to listen where neither Arako nor I could reach her.

The child jumps at the lying Rine-chan, but suddenly, she's kicked away, one of Rine-chan's reflexes. “...ugh...”

“Zhesha!” Rine-chan jumps up, tears still defiling her beautiful face: “I'm sorr-”

“DOAN'T BEE SHORRY!” The parents finally caught up and look at their daughter, lifting her up, trying to get her away: “NO, ZOSH LET MII, IT'Z HONOR! KATI! FAAAAIIIIIIT!” She yells even while being carried away: “YUU WEAK BUT SHTRONGER SHAN SHAT!”

“Zesha!” The mother presses the jaw of her daughter shut: “This ish a fateful fight, interfering ish dishonorable!”

“GRWWGAAA!” Zhesha flails around like a child throwing a fit, but she doesn't get tired of it. She swings her tail until it, in addition to her legs, is restrained by her father.

“...” Rine-chan looks at her blade. “...” She looks at Arako and me. “...” She looks at Ken, who is hit by the wooden blade time and time again with a series of thrusts. He keeps going forward even though he cries out in pain. As if hurting the alfr is the only thing on his mind. “...later, I need to do that later... 'If you don't fight in the present, you don't have a future to worry about...'” The last one is most likely a quote from her instructor.

Now she charges also in, coming from a blindspot, hitting Lvo'tjos with her blade. The alfr is capable of moving enough to let his armor take the brunt of the force, but this allows Kenta to tackle him.

Lvo'tjos jumps back and is now drawing a dagger, parrying attacks from Ken and Rine-chan. The more I see Ken and Rine-chan act together right now, the more I see how similarly powerful those two are right now.

From my side, Arako comments something. “I knew it.”

“You knew what?”

“Kenta-kun's movements are different.”

“What do you mean?”

“His muscles. Humans have well-defined muscles.” From her standpoint, this might be the case: “Katarine-san's muscles are moving according to her movements. Kenta-kun's, however, don't.”

“What?”

“How do I explain it to you... it seems like it is easier for him to move at that speed than Katarine-san. Like it takes less effort and therefore less work from his muscles.”

“What does that mean?”

“That maybe Katarine-san is still not using the hero-system to its utmost potential.”

“So Rine-chan could be much, much stronger!?”

“Among other things. However, we should join now. Lvo'tjos is at a disadvantage, he can't focus enough on the two of them, as he's currently about to be devoured.”

“Devoured?”

“From an abyss which he won't be able to come back.”

―○●○―

It shouldn't be this way. Lvo'tjos should win, but he's losing. Despite his power, despite his level, he's so busy keeping the madness of the human away from his mind, that he can't use much of the hero-system. He can only use a fraction of his power to deal with the two humans, both of whom he can't kill, as one is a hero connected to a deity while the other is royalty. He just can't concentrate enough to adjust the strength properly with so much going on.

Yet the worst is yet to come. Ara'ainn and the last human will join as well. So he either has to kill or he loses. If he kills, everything he's worked for the past twenty years will be in jeopardy. If he loses, then Ara'ainn will use the chair to make him talk. He can't do that. If he tells her everything, it'll be too embarrassing!

He needs to cut the connection to the human, especially as just thinking about how to deal with this situation has made him lose more and more mental fighting ground. Lvo'tjos hates it, but he has to admit defeat against these newbies. He really should have cut off the limbs of the humans earlier, yet this isn't his style. Now he has to deal with this choice.

The only way for him to cut the connection is to widen the distance, which means he has to run away... so be it!

With this, Lvo'tjos jumps back and starts dashing. However, both humans, the black-haired boy and the blonde girl are chasing him. The boy of course, because he has lost his mind. The girl, however, is even worse, as she uses [Swishstride] to just catch up to him, it's a skill which increases the running speed.

Time to make something risky. Lvo'tjos changes to [Sword Dancer], the moment of inattention to the mental war for his sanity causes the front line to move directly before his spiritual center. Only a step more and Lvo'tjos is going bonkers.

However, he now has the [Dash]-skill to move even faster! He chains [Dash] after [Dash], the strain isn't a problem at his level, and then he feels the relief of the disconnection. His mind is safe!

He looks back, seeing neither the princess nor the boy. It would be easy enough to find them and then beat all of them up. After taking some medicine, his body will be fully healed and then they can't do anything to him, as he will be more careful with them. “Nah, they won.” However, Lvo'tjos is fickle as an alfr, therefore he just gives them that victory.

Time to look for Kruan and his friends. He's done enough for Big M for today. It's not his business anymore.

However, it was nice to see Ara'ainn again. He is still a bit worried whether that boy has made her his sex slave, but from the looks of it, her spirit seems healthy, so it's unlikely. One day, he might tell her. He might tell her about how they all fought for the world but met the ultimate loss.

Right now, however, it's too early. For her and him.

―○●○―

Before we could even join the fight as Arako suggested, the blue-haired alfr already retreated. Our two idiots, Ken and Rine-chan, ran after them despite Arako's warning, but both of them weren't open to reason.

At least it's easy enough to follow Ken with that feeling in our mind. There he is, on all fours. “Ken.”

He turns his head to us: “Give me a moment...” He forces himself to stand, the pain in his face shows how bad his body is. Though there is another sort of pain there. I've never seen him so... vulnerable. It's like I'm seeing him for the first time in my life. He looks so young.

No, he is young. I'm also young, same goes for Rine-chan. We're all just teenagers. We shouldn't fight for our lives! We should go to school, have fun with our friends, slowly becoming adults. Up to now, I somehow never realized but seeing Ken like that...

There is a sharp pain in my heart. It's hard to breathe, everything starts to hurt, my head grows heavier and heavier, my mind is clogging up. Air, I need air!

I barely feel myself falling on the wet ground, yet I feel my heart bursting, it hurts too much! Make it stop! I can hardly notice anything around me, though I'm sure that Arako is by my side. She's talking to whom? “Momo... shock... let it go!”

Let it go? Let what go? Why does it hurt? Why is it so... I can't even describe it, it's such a bad feeling, it's overwhelming me. Breathing hurts, everything hurts, being here hurts, why do I feel so... so bad?

“Kenta-kun, no! You need to distance yourself!” What is Arako talking about? What has Ken to do with it? Ah, it became worse, the feeling got so much worse. I can't breathe, I'm dying! I panic, but in the end, something else is so much worse, so much worse. “Momo! [Sleep]!”

I feel how my mind wanders... sweet, sweet blackness.

―○●○―

This was unexpected. I already knew that Momo has the tendency to attain most of her [Skills] based on current events, but this [Empathy]-spell is dangerous. Like Kenta-kun's [Share Senses], using it unfiltered has obvious demerits.

“Is she alright?” Kenta-kun sounds more concerned than usual. Seeing how his current emotional state almost caused Momo to suffocate, I can only imagine what he's feeling. From my ear-plugging with him, I had a vague sense of how strong humans emotions are.

“She is still connected. I apologize for my phrasing earlier, but you need to increase your distance to her, as she's incapable to cut the connection by herself right now. It's the same reason why Lvo'tjos ran away.” This is an interesting similarity. Both, Lvo'tjos and Momo, tried to delve into Kenta-kun and found more than they could handle.

“Phew...” Kenta-kun drinks a potion to regain some HP. “Today's the worst.”

“It sure is.”

“You'll tell me about that Luuto-guy, right?”

“Later.”

“OK. I'll look for Rine now. Don't make it too hard for me to find you.”

“Returning to the village may be dangerous, that's why we will stay here.”

“Good. ...might take a while.”

“Kenta-kun... are you really fine?”

“To be honest, I feel the worst. Need time to figure stuff out. Still, Rine is worse off. First reality-check in a while, I guess.”

Other humans better understand the emotions and thoughts of humans. So I can't provide useful advice for this: “Be safe.”

“...yeah. You too.” This mood reminds me of the time I ear-plugged him again. Maybe it's what humans would call 'romantic', but I believe it's more about uncertainty. About Lvo'tjos, about Kenta-kun's feelings, things that weren't shared before and now come down like the rain.

Kenta-kun vanishes in the rain and I make a shelter with my [Spirit Magic], warping plants to my will. I look at Momo whose spirit branch snaps back, proof that she is no longer connected to Kenta-kun. I let her sleep, however, as she sure is tired.

Everything today is my fault. It's not that I'm sad about it, but if I had acted differently here and there, none of it would have happened. It's a human habit of looking at their own mistakes and not acknowledge them. It's an alfr habit to look at their own mistakes and not take them seriously.

I'm an odd alfr, so I'll start to analyze every step I took and what it brought. Just as I do with my research about heroes, if I do it carefully I might find some insight. Then I can still decide whether I will act differently in the future or not.

For the first time in a long time, I feel the need for self-improvement. I need to conquer my fears. I will find more ways to fight. I will bring my research to a new level without letting my greed overshadow my judgment.

Nonetheless, I won't give up being a slacker. I will also follow my wimps, like every alfr, no, every living being should do!

With this determination, I write down the stats of my party-members. Katarine-san and Kenta-kun have shown me new ways to look at the [Attributes], giving me the idea that Katarine-san may actually not be using the hero-system as intended. Since she was so powerful before becoming a hero, it's hard to judge her improvement...

Why does the hero-system support Kenta-kun's movement, however? His muscles moved less than Katarine-san's, though he has more mass than her. There are two ways to look at it. The more likely reason is that the muscle's output is increased and therefore he can do more with less work, making him work more efficiently. The question is, why did it only worked so well when he was at the brink of insanity, or whatever a hvur-spirit means to a human?

Thinking about it, Kenta-kun performs best under a certain amount of pressure, so a hero may be the most powerful when he's cornered? This is a trend I have already observed by reading hero-literature. I hadn't taken it seriously, as stories are told to be entertaining, and overcoming difficulties that seem overwhelming is an efficient method to bring excitement.

However, if this is true, wouldn't it mean that if a certain state of mind can be trained then all of us would become stronger?

Interesting.

While today may have been a disaster, it may open a new chapter in my research.

The possibility of enhancing muscles and other functions by having a specific state of mind. Though instead of enhancing himself there is another option on how Kenta-kun could move like Katarine-san without having that much work put into it. Forcing his will on the environment.

While this may be counter-intuitive, I still note it down.

I look at Momo next to me, who is making some of her usual humans sleeping-sounds. Her face looks less tense than before, so I presume that she is recovering from her former bad experiences. This... she has a bandage around her shoulder...

“Momo.” I put my hands on her ears. There is almost no reaction. I forgot again that the ears of humans aren't as sensitive. So I put my thumb on her nose, this makes her face grimace and makes me wonder, what will happen if I try something different.

Until Kenta-kun returns with Katarine-san, I will have some fun with my friend.

―○●○―

I sit on a trunk, neither Kenta nor Lvo is here. I can feel in which direction Kenta is, but I feel too bad... I could put myself together after seeing how Zhesha went out of her way to cheer me up, but now everything is crashing down.

…really, I should have taken the raincoat with me. I'm wet from head to toe. I'm cold. I feel miserable. Though it's not the weather that makes me feel so down...

I feel like a traitor. I've betrayed everyone, my country, my friends, my lo... no... he is... “uuuuuuhhh...” Tears are coming from my eyes. It feels like they're replacing the raindrops. I taste their saltiness. “Mother... father...” ...I want to go home. I also want to be here, but I want to go home as well. Why can I feel both ways? The voice of my mother whispers into my mind: 'Kati, do you want to be away from home?'

'No.'

'What do you think, how does Kenta feel?' !? I- ah, no! No, no, no! What- no, wait, what have we done!? Dear... Kyou... I'm sorry! So, so sorry! “Ugh...” An ugly noise comes out of my throat. “Ugh...” My heart is filled with a thousand needles, each time it beats I feel pricks all over it. My vision blurs as more and more tears are coming. I'm the worst.

Wallowing in pain and self-hatred feels terrible, but appropriate. However... “Seriously? You can't even cry ugly.” This voice... no! No, not him! Not now!

“Go away! I want to be alone!” I hide my face in my hands.

“Ain't happening.” Without even asking, he sits down next to my trunk. Why does he sound so... so... argh, he sounds so different than usual. It's almost like he's happy seeing me like that! How mean, Kenta! “Well, woken up?” He asks casually.

“...go away...” I don't even know how to face him, what to say to him.

“Hurts, right?” Yes, it hurts! Please, leave me alone! “Well, you can just cry. I'll wait.” Why does he sound so gentle right now?

“GO AWAY!” I try to stare him down, yelling at him. Can't I have a moment for myself!?

His face, however, is calm and less... like him. “Nope.”

This is making me angry: “WHY!?”

“Because I can't miss it.”

“GRRRRR!” I'm not angry at him, but I still feel a raging feeling inside me and take it out on him. I'm sorry, it's not your fault, it's all me.

“Let me guess... When he showed you the person who you loved the most, it wasn't me, right?”

It feels like a nail in my heart. “...” I turn away, trying to not look at him, who seems so... infuriating!

“I know what you saw,” he continues. How can you know? I didn't even know it before! However, Kenta is smart: “You saw yourself.”

...he's right. Lvo vanished and I saw myself. Does that mean that I love myself more than anyone else? It feels so true... I can't put it into words, but it was the truth, which makes me a horrible person, only loving myself.

“Rine, I'm bad at consoling. So I'll be straight: How could you love me when you never saw me?”

“...what do you mean?”

“Rine, have you ever considered why I do stuff?”

“What do you mean?”

“Still too high, huh? Well, I'll make it easier. Rine, you're an idiot.”

“Wha-” I may not be that smart, but calling me an idiot!?

“Whenever something is going on, you interpret it as you want. When I help, you're like 'Kenta, you're noble', while what I'm actually doing is just trying to win a favor or stop a risk. When Kyou-san is kind to you, you're like 'She's my best friend' instead of thinking about how she tries to manipulate you. And I won't even start with Ara-san... Face it, Rine. We're not good people.”

“But-”

“Shut up! Just shut up and listen!” Why is he so mean to me right now...? “Rine, it's only natural, if you think about it. If everyone always loved you, how can you even imagine one hating you? If everyone acts upon your whims, how can you even consider their own standpoint... you might have an idea that the world doesn't revolve around you, but you have never witnessed otherwise... Think, what would happen if you cry usually?”

“...mother or father would find me... telling me that everything is going to be better...”

“Why would it be better?”

“...because...” I can't even think of an answer...

“This is the problem. You don't think. You never actually thought about these things. You're just an idiot because you neglected using your brain. Today is the day you can start.”

“Start?”

“Yeah, start using your brain more. Watch me, try to guess why I'm doing stuff, don't just assume something. Then you'll learn that I'm not close to anything you thought I am. Get to know me, instead of some superficial delusion you have of me.”

“...get to know you... Sorry, this is more than I can handle.”

“Wrong answer. You want to be a [Wizard] to become smarter, right?”

“...yes...” Have I really said that? This sounds so...

“Then start thinking. You may feel like crap right now, but it becomes better. It always becomes better.”

“Kenta... do... can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me what you like. I just won't answer everything.”

“What did you see... when Lvo...” Thinking back, Kenta was like a whole other person, no, he is still like a whole other person...

“Just someone from my past.” His face has a strange, melancholic expression. I can't even pry further, as I have the feeling that Kenta isn't here anymore. “Well, if you’d like to cry, I'll wait.”

“Please give me a minute.” It's not that I want to cry more. It's something different. I feel a strange thing in my heart, something that almost hurts: “Kenta...” He's so far away despite being close... I want to ask him something, but I can't even order my thoughts... “When... when I become... when I get to know you... can... I mean, will you... Kenta, do you even like me?” Seeing how I'm just an egotistical girl, who puts her expectations onto everyone without even questioning it, I don't even know how Kenta and me are actually related... I mean, he is my husband, right? No... he's cursed, so he hates me, right? Everything I thought is just a big fat lie I told to myself...

“I, like you? ...well... Let's say this: The way you are right now is much better than before.”

So he likes me more if I cry, wallow in my feelings of self-pity, self-hatred, and insecurity? I... “What does that mean?” He slowly moves his right hand, almost like a fist, to my forehead. Then he flicks it, but my hand moves faster than I can react, giving him a straight on the nose which makes him fall on his back, while his nose starts bleeding. “Kenta! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!”

“Phew... if you're sorry,” his pained voice comes: “Could you please stop doing it! I hate it!”

“So sorry... … … can I ask another question?”

“Hm?”

“Will this pain ever go away.”

“Mine? I hope.”

“No, I mean the one inside my heart...”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, but you get used to it. You always get used to it...” Kenta falls into silence, staring blankly into a place I don't know.

Despite everything, this feels like a precious moment for me.