《I hate being wed in a fantasy world!》Volume 06 - Chapter 5-1 - Paludious Climax
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Chapter 5 – Paludious Climax
“Little Kyou, we ca-AHH!”
“We ca-AAAHHH!? Stop it!”
“You stop first-AHHH!”
“AHH!”
The last hour was pure torture. I'm mounting Mama Orana with my knife in her chest while a finger-wide branch has penetrated my shoulder. Now every time we move, a small twist here, a rip there, it hurts like hell. Blood is coming out of both our bodies and I feel frighteningly cold, the witch is also pale like a corpse.
Oh, she's trying to control another branch which can only mean that she needs a small twist of my blade. “AHHHHHH!”
“AH!” This hurts me as well, as her rocking body makes me scrape against the branch inside my body, but it's better than being impaled by her again.
I'm lucky that I was fast enough to stab her before she could use her magic on me, though I was a bit too late and got myself hurt in the process. Now I examine her whole body. Each time she moves her lips, I twist my knife. Each time she moves her fingers, I twist my knife. Each time she looks away, I twist my knife. Each time I sense her spirit doing something, I twist my knife.
It'd be so much easier if I had the strength to just move the knife up to her heart, cutting through bones and innards. I'm sure that the only reason why she's not doing something reckless right now is because it's easy for me to make her feel pain, as my knife is still in her body. Therefore I'm too cautious to retract it and go for the kill.
My mental endurance is at its end while my body loses blood. Still, I'm most likely in better shape than her, I'm younger and a hero which lets me push my body over its limits. “Now listen to me, Mama. Just pass out.”
“Then you'll kill me. Let me show you that you can trust me. I'll remove the branch if you stop hurting me whenever I try to use [Spirit Magic].”
“Or you'll impale me with another one.”
“I'm tired, Little Kyou. I was just testing you, please, let me go.”
“Just go asleep. Trust me.”
“I can feel your emotions, girl! I know you're planning to kill me!” This is the one thing she can do with her spirit. She's reading my spirit somehow and can look into my emotions, and I'm not capable of severing this strange connection with pain alone. It's as Arako said, when a connection is established, it's hard to sever, though I can just distance myself from her to force it to collapse, we’re in this situation after all.
“...how about you teach me that?”
“What?”
“If I can read your emotions as well, I can tell if you're lying, right?”
“...let me-AH!”
“AH!” This time, it wasn't intentional for me to hurt her. I think she just tried to shift her weight to be a bit more comfortable.
“Understood. How good are you in feeling spirits?”
“Bad.” A [Herbalist] doesn't need that much [Spirit Magic], therefore I have far less practice.
“Oh, why... Girl, a body has several parts, like limbs, organs, and such. A spirit is the same, part of it is the emotional spectrum. Instead of pushing your spirit branch into the spiritual center to control it, you move it to where emotions are and feel them like your own. It's a spell called [Empathy].”
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“You feel the emotions yourself? Like pain?”
“YES! Ahhh!”
I grind my teeth, as another pain is coursing through me while she yells at me. Does that mean... that she feels the same pain as me and did so since the moment she stabbed me!? Does she also feel my period, how my stomach is cramping a bit, how unwell it feels to mount her for so long while the pad is pressed against my nether regions? Who wants a package of that voluntarily? “Why... why don't you cut it out then?” She should be able to just drop it.
For some reason, she's tearing up and starts to yell in a sad voice: “Because I want to feel young! Your pain is much better than the pain of my old legs, my backache, my bones. You have that young pain I've almost forgotten!” Now she's outright crying: “I just want to feel young again!”
Seeing her face, I realize that this is the whole reason for real. She saw a young, helpless girl in her teens, who embodies everything she wants to feel. She's trapped in the nostalgia of youth, the illusion that everything was better when she was younger. As a juvenile, I can't even start to comprehend how it might be for old people, and to be honest, I don't want to try either: “Shut up!” Because of her, I've endured so much pain right now and I ask myself if she is even trying to get out of this situation, as this pain is so much better than her old people’s pain!?
This is astronomically stupid! Slowly, I retract my knife and start standing up. The branch in my shoulder hurts, I want to cry myself, but after that pathetic display of the witch, I'm not in the mood for self-pity. I grab the branch and slowly walk forward, trying to not hurt myself further as much as possible. I need to treat it properly, otherwise, it'll become another scar.
After the initial treatment, I cast [Heal]. It works almost like sewing, just cleaner. Means it doesn't directly heal the injury, but restores HP and closes open wounds. Time for my poultices as well, then some bandages and I hope that it'll heal properly, as I would hate any more scars.
The whole time, Mama Orana does nothing but weeping and getting on my nerves. At least she doesn't try anything funny either.
“*sigh* What a waste of time. Granny, I'm off.”
“...wait.”
“I'm not giving you anything.”
“No, you, I mean... what about treating me?”
...actually, I don't want to. However, “What do I get out of it?”
“I... about the curse!”
I'm not sure if everything she told me about it was a lie or not, but she has my attention. “What about it?”
“Little Kyou, I- you know, you- I mean-”
“Could you please speak clearly?”
“I can help you! Little Kyou, I can help you find your husband.”
“How?”
“The rings are connected. I can use my [Black Magic] to make you sense the connection better.”
“You want to curse me?”
“No, I want to change a small condition of the existent curse.” So she can't help me breaking this curse, but altering it? She has already offered it once, so maybe she really can?
I still can't trust her. She may try something funny, but if she's really trying to help... I want to believe her, but my mind says it's a stupid idea, but I guess I'll trust her anyway, as I'm also denying the possibility that following Mama Orana was a stupid idea. “Well, that's not enough.”
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“You're extorting me further?”
“You've tried to take my youth. Explain me, why should I blindly help you while you have enough reasons to trick me during the treatment or when you're casting your magic?”
“...what is it you want?”
“Let me see... I think I want to become a witch, but what does it mean for heroes?”
“For heroes? It's a class-up.” A class-up? One for my [Herbalist] I suppose, but I'm below the needed level to class up that again. I mean, I would need level 100 for that, I'm level 44 currently.
However, it doesn't mean that I can't do some preliminary studies and research about curses. “Hm...” I look at the books in her shelves, there are no titles on the back, but I take one and flip through the pages, they're similar to what I've learned in Aroahenn, the alfr village, about curses, but somehow different: “Are these books about [Black Magic]? Give them to me.”
“What?”
“These are books that will make me a [Witch], right?”
“You can learn something, but-”
“You give me the books now. Later, when I'm finished with the curse, I'll come back, become a [Witch] and we're even.” I know, that's an atrocious deal, but I want to extort that woman as much as I can.
“...deal.” She holds out her hand to me, while her face is still full of pain.
“Deal.” I grab it.
Suddenly, black flames are dancing around our hands. I've made a mistake! “Don't worry, Little Kyou. Just a curse to enforce this contract. If you don't head back to me if the curse is lifted, every third day you'll have diarrhea.”
“NO!” This sounds terrifying! I don't want that! What an evil curse! She got me! She got me, that old hag! I have no other to blame for it than myself... except her, of course, that sneaky witch, that used her patheticness as a tool!
However, I planned to learn how to be a witch anyway, so it just robbed me of my freedom of choosing the time or teacher... which really gets on my nerves! I want to strangle her. I want to cave her head in. I want... ah, mood swings. I need to calm down.
“Please treat me, I'm too old to die!”
I'm not in control right now and that makes me feel anxious, but I need to remember that this is what I’ve agreed upon so far. Though I'm sure that she's already planning what to do with me the moment I return... I need to counter that... yes, I'm a hero, I'll become stronger by then and can make her explode with my mind if she's doing something like that again! Or I may just lift her curse alongside the ring's, yes, she didn't think of that, I'm sure.
I smile as I’ve found a way out of this predicament. No need to panic, I'm still holding all the cards. “Of course I'm treating you.” Mama Orana feels how I feel, so she knows that I'm full of confidence. Let her think about it.
I treat her the same way I treated myself just before. The witch is still in pain, more than I, but she looks healthier than before and starts giving me some of her books. “So let me hold up my part of the bargain. Take the books, read them, learn them, come back, and finish your training then to lift my curse.” She gives me a small library while I mechanically put them all into my backpack and therefore [Inventory]. “Now your ring.”
I present it to her a second time, this time she chants something. Suddenly, she distorts her face and is about to fall, I grab her by the hip: “What happened?”
“I... I don't know. Something happened, but what...” Then a familiar screen pops up in my vision.
You have chosen [Spouse-Locator], a newly acquired WP-bonus that makes spouses feel where each other are. Are you sure?
Yes, of course I'm sure! Let me find Ken already!
Your husband and sister wives have been informed. Wait for their answers.
Technically, I've done what I can. However, I don't want to stay here any longer than I want. Also, I want to get back to the others as fast as possible. “You have observed me, yes? Can you also locate a friend of mine?”
―○●○―
I hate these swamps. “Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!” Again I'm running to evade the shots of a four-horned stag which shots water bullets, the rapid-water, as I named it. This time, however, I neither have Kyou-san and her [Protect], nor Ara-san and her [Watershield]. So I need to survive this on my own!
The monster is standing inside a pool again and just moves whenever I try to get in its back so far, it's unlikely that I can make a roundabout approach work. Watching the flying bullets, I try to see a pattern here. Rine could deflect them on her own, maybe I can do it too. This looks scary though. I need another strategy.
Of course, I could have run away, but these are XP-bags, after all. It's only one, I should be able to handle it! There, it stopped with the bullets! It needs a quick break, time to get my bow and shoot it! There! Now just before it's about to shoot, I'll-
Momokawa Kyou chose the [Spouse-Locator]-option from the WP-shop. Do you agree with this purchase?
*WAMMM* In this single moment I've realized why the hero-system has no level up messages, condition-messages and the like. If a screen suddenly pops up during combat, it's really, really distracting! In this case, hurtful as well. *WAMM-WAMM-WAMM-WAMM*
Retreat, retreat, retreat! It hurts! There, some trees! [Mask of Wildlife] and [Camouflage]! The shots are receding and the rapid-water is without a doubt just waiting for me to make my move. This message just now has not only robbed me of the opportunity but also put me into danger! Imagine what would have happened if I was fighting up close with this thing. It could've trampled me to death!
Dammit, what was all of this about anyway? [Spouse-Locator]?
Katarine von Stolzherz and Ara'ainn agreed. What is your decision?
What is that!? Can't it wait? I try to push the pop-up to the side mentally, but the WP-system doesn't care about that. Well, I'm playing the waiting game with the monster now, so let's check the WP-store... yes, this option is indeed there, but why? It wasn't there before... could it be that my demands were heard after all? What does it do? …
Well, it cuts into my privacy. It means that I know in which direction my wives are and they know where to find me. This means it's impossible to do something on my own without all of them knowing where I am. … On the other hand, if we had this in Goldbrunn... But I don't want to... However, this may be the only way to meet up right now...
Oh, fuck it. Maybe I would have been able to haggle a removal option or an on/off-switch, but I can't be picky here. Yes, I want that [Spouse-Locator]. Finally, the pop up goes away.
[Spouse-Locator] purchased, you now innately feel in which direction your wives are.
...seriously, that's strange. In fact, I can feel something, it almost feels like an arm, it has weight, it's part of me, but I can't see it or move it by myself. That mental direction also doesn't come with a feeling how close the destination is, but three of these strange sensations are now within my mind... yes, all of them are apart, I can't tell which one is who, this feels like a terrible patch.
I won't think about the WP that were just sunk there. It was only 200 WP, which amounts of 10 days of WP-grinding in our usual fashion... I want them back! We're back to bottom again... well, I told Ara-san that I wanted to keep them for emergencies, this is one, but... seriously, why is it such a shitty version of a feature.
…ah, the rapid-water is retreating, thinking that I ran away. “[Seeker]!” It turns around, but I was counting on it, as my arrow hits it in its face. Too bad, just an eye, but: “[Quadruple Shot]!” Four more arrows, three are shot down by bullets, the last one is deflected by its horns. “Phew...” Ranged combat isn't working and it's aiming at me. Time to make it shoot until it needs its break and then fight back like planned.
After about three minutes, I stand above its carcass while writing to my wives. 'I'm coming for each of you. If you're safe, don't move. Except for Ara-san, come here, you...' I didn't finish it, as I couldn't come up with an insult that would be appropriate.
Well, now I have three leads and no idea who is who and how far away they are. At least not now, I guess the more this sensation moves, the closer I am. Time to fetch them. They're all in roughly the same direction, I'll just start from the right. This is the one I'm looking for first! Whoever it is, just make sure that you won't waste my time by doing something stupid!
...I heard someone. [Pitch]. ...there. I draw my bow and aim in that direction, using [Mask of Wildlife]. A strong spirit. “Come out!” Two ss'raks are emerging from a small pool of water, they were lurking in there, waiting for something. “Are you friends of Crunch?”
“Yuu still alaif. Yuu beaten Kruan?”
“Yeah. If you want to fetch him, he's somewhere there. Just track my steps back.” I have no desire of fighting with even more of them. Also, they shouldn't attack me, because of the duel or something.
“Kruan alaif?”
“At least for now. Why are you out there in the first place, I thought you guys would watch?”
“Losst.”
“You're lost!?” Seriously, what's up with these guys! “...” No, don't do it, don't: “You can stick around if you like.” Dammit, why did I just make that offer, it makes no sense! It'd be much easier just to leave them to die here.
“Wii looking for others.”
...great, really great. “How many?”
“Ssewenn.”
“Wait a minute.” Something is strange because I don't know how they were separated in the first place. Right, they had that [Spirit Magic]-user, someone so capable that I automatically thought of an alfr. “Did your alfr ditch you guys?”
Both of them silently nod. It surprises me how it doesn't surprise me that their alfr-guide has just left them because of some business. It's just too accurate of how alfar behave. They were most likely at the sidelines of the fight. When their alfr-ally disappeared a monster attacked or something like that, they got separated and aren't able to find each other again, as they're subjected to the [Spirit Magic] of the plants that are trying to kill them, messing with their sense of direction to lead them into even more danger.
“Phew... OK, I'll lead you to Crunch, then I'll look for your comrades.” Wait, wait, wait! Why do I keep doing that!?
“No.” How dare you to reject my unintended kindness! “Yuu enemy, but yuu won duel. Honor demaands to let yuu go, no favvorrs taken.”
“Do you understand what it means, you morons! You'll die here!”
“Alf shtill shomewere. Wii wait.”
I want to hurt them. I feel how the inner rage I had is about to burst out of me, I'm clenching my fists so hard that it hurts. I have no idea why it bothers me so much. “OH YEAH!” I yell at them, I'm so annoyed, it's not like I actually wanted to do them a favor, but somehow... somehow... “ARGH!” Without saying anything further, I turn away and walk in the direction of the wife I've chosen before.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I don't even know if I mean them or myself. Actually, I should feel glad that they rejected my offer, I'm on a time limit here, the curse is at my throat, and the moment I lose the [Ranger]-class is the moment I'll probably lose my life as well.
Still!
―○●○―
“Take this please.”
“Wii hunt oursselff.”
“But I really, really have too much.”
In the distance, Kati tries to give some of her quarries to the local ss'rak here. Lvo'tjos knows that the reptilian alfroids are just overwhelmed by having too much food.
Lvo'tjos and Kati are now good buddies, though it was hard to convince her to head back to the village, as she suddenly proclaimed that she knows where to find her husband. It's most likely that Kenta-guy, he's really popular considering the male-female ratio of his party. Well, Kruan may still have his revenge-date and Lvo will pick him up later if he's still alive. Most likely not, but as long as he's still breathing, his ss'rak companions will be capable of keeping him alive for a day or two.
Next to Lvo'tjos, who listens into Kati's conversation from afar, stands a large specimen of a ss'rak. “Watt waz shat beforr.” It's the Voice of Muaotef, or how Lvo'tjos calls the deity: Big M.
“You meant when I saved your life? Voicy, you were almost killed by her. I had to do something and I was hungry. Actually, I've kinda lost track of time, she's a pleasant person and if you would have seen how beautifully she dices monsters, you would most likely shit yourself... well, more than usual at least.”
The Voice of Muaotef is a big ss'rak, but his body is only the acclimation of being a prophet of a deity, which especially made his lungs and speech apparatus grow. It's not like he's a capable warrior, though he's a [Voicespell] at least, a spellcaster that specializes in [Sound]-magic. So this and his reptilian physiology makes it only natural for him to be not capable of controlling his sphincter all the time.
“Zshhhh.” Voicy hisses, but after looking at Kati for a while, who is finally able to give her spoils of the hunt to the swampy villagers, he looks a bit concerned. “Wii zhould imprrisson her.”
“Maybe.” Lvo'tjos knows that this girl can fight, but he's not concerned at all. He's been a hero for about a century, his level and fighting experience vastly outmatches hers, so he's sure that he can easily capture her if needed. “What does Big M think about it?” Lvo'tjos would have let Kati go if the deity didn't have any plans with her.
“The Great One doeshn't need her. Zhough if zhe shpeaks abuut tha tabblett, he kan furrtha his plaans kuicker.”
Lvo'tjos looks at Voicy in a severe and calm demeanor: “Would you please mind your language? It's troublesome to understand.”
“Zshhhhhhhhh!”
“Calm down, calm down. Well, it's time for your big appearance soon, right? Another speech to those even more primitive than you, what a heartbreaking moment. I'm also interested in how things will turn out.”
“Alf, wha-”
“Alfr, with an 'R'-sound. Why is it so hard for you to use an R after an F if you're putting these harsh Rs at every opportune word? Also, I’d like to speak with Big M for a while, would you be so kind? It's about the other heroes and what to do if things go wrong.”
“...what'z your game?”
Lvo'tjos answers in the only way any alfr would answer: “Everything.”
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