“Stop staring at that venison like the deer is going to come back and eat you!” Siv commanded him. “You need to eat.”

Ethan made a showing of eating the charred meat on the wooden plate in front of him.

“There, satisfied?” He said, after swallowing the large bite.

“Not yet, but maybe later.” She replied coyly causing Torag to laugh uproariously and Ethan to blush.

“What has you so down, boy?” The large man put his arm around Ethan’s shoulders. “Are you that love sick you can’t even eat? Or did I beat you too badly earlier today?”

“If taking a beating caused loss of appetite then it’s a miracle you’ve even managed a bite.” He said, shrugging off Torah’s arm and ignoring his comment. Their practice session that morning had gone better than any so far. Ethan had forced Torag to yield in rounds with swords and a round with axes. For all that he’d not wanted to fight with two weapons, he was getting rather proficient in the style.

“Yes, but you flew halfway across the ring when I hit you with that club.” Torag laughed as he replied. Ethan rubbed his ribs, he was sure at least three were broken from the blow that had sent him flying.

He’d balked at training with bludgeons, the massive clubs were unwieldy and wore his arms out faster due to their weight. Siv had just laughed at him when he’d complained after having several of his ribs broken.

“No one is going to say I didn’t train a student properly.” She’d said and forced him to train for an additional two hours with the heavy wooden weapons. Now his arms were heavy and he was exhausted. But that wasn’t what was slowing down his eating. He’d been trying for four days to commune with the Spirit of Water to no success. Ethan wasn’t looking forward to another afternoon of numb, waterlogged feet with no progress.

“You need to eat more.” Siv pushed his plate closer towards him. “My grandmother will throw me in the lake if you show up for mediation unfocused from hunger.”

“Thanks.” Ethan took another unenthusiastic bite under her gaze.

“You’re trying too hard to force a connection Ethan.” Siv said. “Water flows where it will as it wants. You can’t force it to do anything.”

“You can build a dam.” He grumbled quietly, slightly annoyed at his weapons training spilling over into his spiritual training.

“True.” She laughed, smiling at him. “But water fills in the cracks of the dam, angry at being contained. Then, when the dam breaks, water rushes forward, taking out its frustration on those who attempted to contain it.”

Ethan thought about what she told him. Every day of failing to connect with the Water Spirit, Ethan had tried harder the following. Siv was right, it had become a brute force attempt to create something she was telling him wasn’t a forcible connection.

“Are you finished over feeding my pupil, granddaughter?” The War Shaman had approached untouched by Ethan while he had been deep in thought. “He’s looking a little rounder every day.”

“He’s barely eaten at all, grandmother. If he’s getting bigger it’s from knocking Torag around the training grounds every morning.” Siv smiled as she defended Ethan. “Truthfully, I think he’s off his appetite out of fear of failing you.”

“A Skarobjorn being beaten by an outsider?” Hertha held her hand to her chest, feigning shock at Siv’s statement and ignoring her admonishment. “I never would have believed it.”

Ethan blushed at the compliment. Torag was a skilled warrior, for Siv to mention it to Hertha was high praise. Torag just laughed at the good natured teasing.

“It was only once or twice,” he socked Ethan not ungently in his bruised side. “I managed to break a few of his ribs though.” The impact caused him to wince in pain, unable to react in an equal manner.

“Ugh. My spleen…” Ethan groaned, adding an extra dramatic flourish. His three companions laughed at his pain, but Hertha placed her hand on his shoulder and a cool wave washed over him, instantly healing his broken ribs.

“If you children are done playing with your toys, I think it’s time my student joined me for the afternoon.” Hertha looked at her granddaughter who merely bowed her head in respect.

“He is all yours, venerable War Shaman.”

“Impudent child!” Hertha smiled and pinched Siv’s cheek.

“Come now, Sorry, my granddaughter can clean your lunch mess and hopefully learn some respect in the process.” She said, gesturing for Ethan to follow her.

Ethan could hear Torag and Siv laughing as he went with his teacher. It’s easy to forget that this is “just a game” being here in Skaro. Ever since his last respawn, the residents of The Tower seemed to interact with him differently. Jerry and Alera were just the starting examples. He was feeling real kinship with Siv and Torag, despite that later’s less than warm welcoming. And War Shaman Hertha was more than deserving of respect to him. His long standing inner emotional turmoil may have contributed to game mechanics, but the melding was almost flawless. Even though he’d failed so far to connect with the Spirit of Water, he felt more at peace with his inner rage better than he ever had in the “real world”.

His first few days at Skaro he’d been preoccupied with finishing the quest and getting back to his friends. But the longer he spent in the small town, the more he felt at home and unsure what leaving would mean to him. Siv’s flirtatious comment during lunch was far from the first, but his reservations about any sort of non platonic relationship with an NPC was holding him back. He’d initially assumed that her and Torag were partners, but Torag had laughed at him when he’d called her his “wife.”

“She is my Battle Sister, I would follow her past the gates of Helheim itself and drink with her in the great halls of Valhalla.” Torag had said with the most serious look on his face. “But she is not my wife, it is better this way. Were she, I would be a lucky man. But,” he’d frowned, ”I would also be dead, you cannot truly fight with someone you love. One of you would be constantly distracted by concern for the other, leading to mistakes.”

“Are you ready for another afternoon of meditation?” His teacher’s question interrupted his reflections on Torag and Siv.

“Yes, Elder.” Ethan lied. His toes hadn’t felt properly warm in days from sitting by the water’s edge and he was consistently having a harder time focusing on whatever it was he was supposed to be concentrating on.

“Don’t lie to me young one.” The older woman smacked him playfully on the arm. “The bond you’re trying to focus with the Water Spirit is important. It will help to temper the influence of the Fire Spirit.”

“If I can ever make the connection.” Ethan mumbled, slightly disheartened.

“You will. I have faith in you.” Hertha reassured him as they walked.

The edge of the water did not look as calm and inviting as it had the first day he’d approached it. Today the small shoreline looked uncomfortable and sandy. The water even looked colder than he knew it was. The usual clear sky was grey with heavy clouds, Ethan wasn’t sure if they would bring snow or rain. Either way. He’d end up cold and wet as he sat by the lakeside.

“I’ve been meditating myself, Ethan.” Hertha said to him as he took his usual seat. The waves overnight had once again washed away the imprint he had left from sitting there the day before.

“I want you to try a different approach today.” She paused, waiting to make sure she had his attention. “You’re trying to create a connection, a bond, with the vættr.”

“That’s what I’ve…” he began, only to be interrupted by a patient wave of her hand.

“The connection is very much like a friendship, it’s not a desire for power or greatness. It’s a partnership.” She said, gesturing her hand over the water causing a tendril of the lake to rise up and wrap itself around her forearm before retreating to the body of water.

“Just like you are able to embody the passion of Fire, I want you to think of a relationship you have with someone who embodies the quality of water. Calmness, compassion, flexibility.” She said. “Remember that relationship, and how you developed it. I think that will help you connect with the Spirit of Water.”

Ethan sat down at the lakes edge, the water once again painfully cold from melted ice coming down off the mountain. Even though he was uncomfortable, he couldn’t help but appreciate the natural beauty of the serene lake.

“Thank you Teacher, I’ll try what you’re saying.” He said.

Hertha nodded and walked away, leaving him to his meditation.

Someone calm and compassionately, yet flexible. Ethan tried to think of anyone he knew that had those traits. Instantly, he came up with an image. Mom.

His mother’s face came into mental view. A small tear formed in his eye and ran down his face at the thought of his mother.

She loved him unconditionally and was one of the most compassionate people he’d met in his life. Not just to him and his siblings, but all their friends knew that if they ever had any troubles, Ethan’s mom was the person they could come to. David had nearly failed out of college one semester and had gone to her for advice on how to approach his own parents. She had sat him down at her dining room table, and listened to him worry about his parent’s reactions. Then calmly had poured him a cup of coffee and talked him through it. His mother had promised David that if anything happened, he would always have a place to stay with her and Ethan’s family.

But, as he remembered such a warm encounter with his mother, he also remembered her stubbornness and pride. His father always said that once his mom decided on something, there was nothing he could do to change her mind. Compassion and care she had plenty of, but flexible wasn’t a word he’d ever use to describe his mom. If she was represented by any of the Elemental Spirits, Earth would be the most likely.

Who else could represent a similar relationship to the Spirit of Water that I know? Frustration at once again failing was beginning to settle on him, not a good emotional state to be in when he was trying to commune with a Spirit dedicated to flexibility and patience.

As his toes began to go numb to the cold of the lake water, another memory surfaced. This one so vivid, he felt like he’d been transported from the side of the lake to the actual point of time.

He was back in the small apartment he had shared with David in college sitting at his old computer. The room was dimly lit from the glow of his computer monitor and a small lamp across the room. He was hunched over his keyboard, his phone next to him.

“Ethan, you need to stay calm.” Leah’s voice came through on speaker phone. “Don’t say anything you’re going to regret.”

Ethan was silent, his head in his hands. This was the moment that Kevin was about to split his guild.

“K, I don’t know what to do.” Ethan rubbed his temples. “The worst part is Kevin isn’t exactly wrong, Jared hasn’t been pulling his weight recently. This week he made Daniel look good on the DPS meters.”

“He can be right, but still be an asshole about it.” Leah was being sympathetic to his position. Technically, Ethan and Sam ran the guild, but Sam had logged out early and hadn’t gotten to hear Kevin’s ranting. “But, you and I know that Jared is going through some shit right now with his sister. We’re his escape. If we cut him off because of Kevin, what does that make us?”

Leah was right. Jared’s kid sister had just been diagnosed with leukemia. It wasn’t common knowledge in the guild, but Jared had confided in Leah and Ethan a few weeks prior. They’d kept his secret for him.

“You’re right.” Ethan sighed and looked at his phone, wishing that he could actually see Leah as they were talking. Sometimes gaming was still extremely low tech. “I’ll talk to Sam in the morning about what we need to do. Thanks Leah.”

“Anytime Ethan.” He couldn’t see her, but her voice was comforting. “You about to crash?”

“Yeah, it’s 2am here. We were in that raid way too late for me, I have class in the morning.” Ethan’s phone vibrated and lit up on his desk next to him. “Hold up, Daniel just texted.”

He picked up his phone and swiped to his text.

“Hey man, you need to log in now! Kevin is starting shit in guild chat.”

“Are you still there?” Ethan asked Leah, slightly confused by Daniel’s text.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Her voice came back.

“Not sure, Daniel just said that Kevin is doing something in guild chat and I should log on.” He moved his mouse to wake his screen back up and clicked to log into the game.

“Should I log in too?” She asked, concern apparent in her voice.

“Not sure yet, but it may not hurt.” He said as he selected one of his lesser known alts. If Kevin was causing problems, he wanted to see it happen without Kevin knowing he was there. Once the game world loaded, green text started filling his chat window.

Larad - Guild Chat: Kerim, I don’t even know why the fuck they’re still letting you raid. Your DPS is shit and you keep standing in the fucking void zones.

Larad - Guild Chat: You wiped us so many times tonight.

Oh fuck. Ethan thought as he read the messages Kevin, Larad, was sending.

Kerim - Guild Chat: Fuck you Larad, you don’t know shit about what’s going on right now.

Larad - Guild Chat: I don’t give a fuck about “what’s going on right now” you wasted *MY* time tonight with your stupid shit.

Larad - Guild Chat: I don’t know why Tareth or Shotaur haven’t kicked you yet. You don’t think they know you’re the problem?

“Ethan you there?” Leah’s voice was high pitched in her worry, she’d logged in just in time to see where Kevin had dropped his and Drew’s character names.

“Yeah.” He was in shock, he knew Kevin was pissed but this was going overboard. “Hold on.”

Whisper to Kerim: Hey it’s Ethan, I’m here seeing this. Just log off and I’ll take care of it.

Whisper from Kerim: He’s been like this since right after you logged out a while ago. I didn’t say shit.

Whisper to Kerim: It’s okay, I have your back. We’ll talk about this tomorrow, but let me take care of it.

Jared didn’t say anything else, but logged off abruptly.

Larad - Guild Chat: Little shit couldn’t handle the truth. Fuck that guy.

“Ethan, calm down.” Leah’s voice came through his phone again, just in time. Ethan was beginning to get pissed. “If you say anything it’s just going to get worse.”

“You’re right.” He sighed. “It’s late and I’ll handle this tomorrow.” Ethan rubbed the bridge of his nose and spun around in his chair. He wanted nothing more than to go to sleep after the long night.

With a deep breath, he turned back to his computer and was about log out when a series of messages caught his eye.

Larad has left the guild.

Doya has left the guild.

Carach has left the guild.

Blanket has left the guild.

“Leah, what the fuck!?” Ethan panicked. The players that had just left were part of the core of their raid team. Kevin and his friends had just abandoned their guild.

Whisper from Trav : Hey, you need to check the guild bank. They took most of the shit as they bailed.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” Ethan’s enraged shout echoed in his tiny bedroom.

“Ethan? Ethan? What happened?” Leah’s voice was full of concern, Daniel hadn’t sent her the same message yet apparently.

“Fucking Kevin just left and Daniel told me they robbed the fucking bank!” Ethan steered his character to the guild bank, slightly afraid of verifying what he’d just been told. His character’s direction trembled with the shakes of his hand on his mouse as he guided his character towards the bank.

“What? Are you sure?” Her voice was full on panicking and Ethan could see her own character coming in his direction in the near empty digital building.

With a right click of his mouse, Ethan opened the guild bank interface. The once stocked pages of inventory were now completely bare. Months of donations and work were gone to a group of players upset about something stupid.

Ethan leaned back hard in his chair, completely shocked by what he’d found. He was numb, he’d trusted Kevin and the people who had just robbed them. They’d been playing together for almost a year at this point.

Anger began to rise in him. He wanted to hit something. He wanted to get up and put a hole in his wall from the rage he was feeling.

“Ethan, can you hear me? Are you still there?” Leah’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m here.” He shook his head in disbelief, not that Leah could see him. “I can’t believe they did that.”

“Me either.” She sounded apologetic, not that she had any reason to be. “You going to call Sam, tell about it tonight?”

“No, it’s late and he won’t want to deal with it tonight.” Ethan logged out of the game, there wasn’t anything he could do. They’d been robbed.

“You should open a ticket. See if a Game Master can do anything about what happened.” He could tell Leah was trying to sound hopeful and comforting, but he doubted that a GM be able to get their stuff back. More than likely they’d just say Ethan had trusted the wrong person with access.

“Yeah, maybe.” He didn’t believe what he was saying.

“Hey, Ethan.” Leah paused. “It’s going to be okay. Even if more people leave or we don’t get anything back, we will be okay.”

Tears ran down his face as Ethan opened his eyes. Leah had been right. The Game Masters never did recover their stolen loot and nearly half the people in the guild had left. But Ethan had finally been able to convince David and Miguel to join their guild from other servers and Leah brought Tae-Won in not long after. Ethan and Sam had decided to promote Leah to an Officer position in the guild. Her level head had kept them on path ever since.

So you do understand. A calm and playful voice trickled into his mind. The Spirit of Water had finally contacted him.

“Yes.” Ethan wiped the tears that now flowed down his face, the cold of the water suddenly much warmer.

Passion and Determination have to be tempered. No matter how brightly you burn, or how firm your beliefs, flexibility is required. The path of the Shaman requires balance. Do you, young initiate, have that balance inside of you?

The voice was patient and calm as it spoke to him, but Ethan could feel the power behind it. The Spirit of Water wasn’t just the placid lake or the gentle stream. It was the rolling ocean and tidal waves.

“No. I do not.” His own voice was weak and ashamed.

“But with your help, great Spirit of Water, I could come to understand better.” Ethan took a deep breath and sat up straight.

With my blessing, you could guide the flames inside you and direct your focus, while still being true to yourself. I can help you enhance your own spirit. Is that what you wish?

“More than anything.” He didn’t try to hide the hope in his voice.