《Cliché cliché the classic cancer cliché》Chapter 96
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Bob 11 months ago
Bob found himself to be surrounded, it was a strange and weird feeling, as he stood to be hugged in the embrace of tens upon tens of red slimes. "Are you awake, my young child?" a sweet whisper echoed from above, as Bob could only stand to see a dragon, one with the size of a mountain, looking down upon him, with eyes like those of a predator. Despite the good intentions of the dragon, Bob could only feel nothing but fear in the presence of such a fearsome beast.
Briefly recalling the previous events, Bob was in a state of relief and shock, as he found himself to be safe, while at the same time in the danger of being killed by a dragon at any moments notice. "Who are you?" Bob attempted to signal with his body in slime language, as the dragon simply smiled, or to Bob, the dragon bared its menacing teeth. "Don't eat me!" Bob screamed in a panic. Transforming from her original body to her sentinel form, Bob noticed a woman with red skin, she walked forward, with her two horns slightly poking out of her crimson hair, making her appear as if she was a devil. Her scales at the sides of her thighs gave the impression that she was wearing an accessory on her legs, that covered nothing but the sides of her thighs, down to the feet. "Little slime, do not be afraid" the woman reached her hands out and pulled Bob towards her chest, hugging him in an embrace. "There there" she uttered as she patted the young slime. Bob wanted to run, not only did she not answer his question, but she was randomly touching him as well. Though it did feel good, was what Bob had thought, as he allowed her to continue. "Now then, I am Verona Feris, the queen of all dragons in the underworld. I would like to thank you for rescuing one of my beloved pets from that creature, though I was going to do so myself. Anyhow, I wish that you will enjoy yourself here, as this one has other business to attend to" with that said, Verona placed Bob on the ground. "Come now my dears, show our guest a good time will you" Verona beckoned.
The red slimes gathered around Bob, chanting "hero, hero!" as they signalled to him. Bob noticed a particular red slime swaying it in the most agitated manner, as they did a slow dance around him in a circle. Bob could only shyly accept the warm welcome of the slimes. Verona watched on for a bit, as she smiled at the cutesy behaviour of the slimes, for her and her strange hobby of observing slimes and keeping them as her favourite pets, the scene and the green slime that was rather large for unknown reasons piqued both her curiosity and pleasure. The slime was weird in many ways, but the most important part was that it could maintain its huge size without being a part of a cluster of slimes. Those slimes came to be known as Large Slimes, King Slimes and larger slimes have yet to be discovered. She wanted to figure out how exactly did this particular slime get so big. Or perhaps it is but part of the biology of that specific species of slime. As she studied Bob from a distance away, she realised that he might be particularly smarter than the others. From the way he joined into the welcoming ceremony so smoothly, it showed that he had great adaptability for a slime. Bouncing along with the others, Bob was caught up in the mood.
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The red slime that was rescued by Bob decided to bring him around her home. Showcasing the strange magma pits here and there, as well as the secret passages that he can use to leave or enter the place. The entire cavern which the slimes call their home was inhabited by the queen of dragons, Verona and the embodiment of greed Nazhá. The area which the slimes live in was just beyond that of Nazhá's territory. It appeared that she was chasing the source of a strange heat, when she stumbled into his pit, as did many of the slimes attempting to find the heat source, being baited to their deaths by his toxicity and corrosiveness. The layout of the cave which they resided in was unexpectedly large and complex. There were the magma pits, which the red slimes love to bathe in located just behind where he had awoken. A tunnel extended from the left towards the outside, branching into 3 different paths along the way to more magma or towards the outside. On the right led 2 tunnels that went to a magma waterfall, blocking the way outside which the red slimes can just jump through. The other tunnel brought Bob to a dead end. "This is my secret location" the red slime signalled to him, as he noticed a very small crack on the wall. "Come on, let's go," the red slime said as she squeezed herself through that hole. Following her, Bob found himself in another rather small cave. This time, there was only a small private magma pit at a corner, with pressurized air coming out from random holes in the ground. "Watch this" the red slime announced happily, as she stood upon one of the holes. *bloop* *bloop* *bloop* Her body made a sound, as the air turned into bubbles as it passed through her. "!" Bob was surprised, and immediately went on to do the same. *BLOOP* his body made a loud sound, as his larger body size shot the compressed air in one goal. "hahaha" the red slime laughed, as the two of them spent the rest of their time making noises with air bubbles. Competing between the loudest, the longest and the nicest sound. Having been told that she didn't have a name, Bob, with all his creative abilities, named her "red".
Dinner came swiftly, as Verona dropped strange cubes of uncooked meat onto the ground for the slimes to eat. The red slimes immediately swarmed the uncooked food, leaving Bob in a state of shock. "How can you guys be eating that?" Bob asked Red, who merely tilted her body to the side, being unsure of what was wrong. "Come with me," Bob told her, as he dragged her along with some of the cubes of uncooked meat. Making their way back to the secret room of hers, Bob placed the meat near the magma pit, causing it to sizzle, as the animal fat within begin to cook. Within minutes, even though it was a bit burnt, Bob offered the meat to Red once more. To her, what he had just done was nothing short of a revaluation. The taste of the meat immediately shot up in flavour, as the putrid smell of blood was significantly reduced. "This is nothing, there's something even better" Bob slightly flaunted in front of her. "This" he took out a potato from his inventory. "This is the gift from the gods. It has unrivalled taste, and even many uses" Bob told her, as he passed a potato to her. "This is a potato, the god of potatoes will be pleased" Bob began to spread his own religion to her. Taking a bite, the number of followers in Dominic's list rose by one.
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"Young one, come over here" the red dragon beckoned Bob. Answering her call, Bob went towards her. "What is it?" Bob asked in slime language, bobbing his body up and down. "I'm going to be leaving this place for a while, do you wish to come along with me?" Verona had wished to showcase her new pet to the archdevils while they enjoy their sick pleasure, in watching humans perform under cruel circumstances. She could never understand their infatuation with humans, much like how they could not understand her's with slimes. Regardless, they live amongst each other in peace, occasionally competing but nonetheless in peace. "Can I tag along?" Red asked as she sat atop of Bob's head, signalling her will to go along with him. "It looks like another one is following along" Verona smiled, as she placed the two slimes atop her head. Her scales clung tightly to them, as she took flight away from the caverns, with enough speed to break the sound barrier.
As they arrived at a place known as "jgtuien", Bob was greeted by a single male devil, bowing down as he received them. "Its been a very long time Verona" the archdevil, known as Lucifer smiled, as he kissed her on the back of her hand in her human form. As though he was receiving a royalty, Verona was guided towards a curious circle while being allowed to thread only on the carpet as she arrived at a large magic circle. "May you help us do the finishing touches?" Lucifer used this opportunity to gain the touch of a 'pure' dragon, increasing the effectiveness of the magic circle and likeliness of a dragon being summoned. "Sure, sure" Verona replied, half-heartedly as she sent a little bit of her mana into the circle. This piqued Bob's interest, as he followed suit without anyone's notice. To Bob's disappointment, he didn't feel any different. "Glad to see your shows still running along fine" Verona commented as they were led deeper into the place. "So, what did you really call me here for?" Verona got to the point. "You see, recently we have discovered something here" Lucifer explained, as they went further down, towards a spiral staircase that seemed to drop down forever. Carrying Bob and Red, Verona jumped straight down in the middle with Lucifer, falling for what seemed to last minutes. "At the bottom of our digging, to see what was beneath even Hell, we discovered a really. Really, a special little secret that has been hidden after the war" Lucifer grinned. "To think that this was where he was" Lucifer gave a wry smile as they arrived at a strange chasm. Within it, shackled in chains, spears, knives and other torture devices, a young man was bounded up and made to bleed for all eternity as his continuous cries echoed loudly without end for years and years in the past and to come. "Guess who?" Lucifer burst in tears of joy, as he stared at his king. The one who once made the entire godly realm tremble in fear. He recognised the pain amplification spells written all over his king. A miniature magic circle was installed in the mouth to cut and repair his tongue at the same exact moment. His mental and physical state was kept healthy by the blessings given to him by the gods. Only to leave him to suffer for all eternity. It was but a mere coincidence that they managed to find where he was. "Verona..." Lucifer whispered as the entire air around him changed. "Will you... help my king?" Lucifer begged as mana gathered around him. "You and I both know that this curse can't be broken" Verona answered, her eyes staring down at the archdevil. In a one on one match, Verona could easily defeat him, however, the situation was slightly different. Hundreds upon hundreds of archdevils, ranging from barons to emperors, and even pure-bloods like Lucifer popped out around the area. "Yes, I know that, however, the vessel for the gods' wrath can be replaced. And the only vessel strong enough to match the king here in hell, is none other than you Verona," Lucifer answered, almost sympathetically. "Even if you have weakened, even though you might be nothing compared to your past self, you are the strongest one we have in all of hell," Lucifer said, as the archdevils began to rush in, their hands, attempting to clasp around her very soul. "Bring it on" Verona answered, as she threw Bob and Red to a side.
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Old Riding Author Lunatic Asylum
Just off the A19, in the dark, incomprehensible lands known as Yorkshire, there lies a town. A town where shadow-silent alleys glint with the secret hunger of knives. Where blood soaks the chipboard window shutters of forsaken terraces stretching off into the night. Where the smog-choked air rattles with the depraved laughter echoing out from clubs that can only generously be described as post-apocalyptic. Well, that’s Middlesbrough. But down the A19 a bit (an impossibly long way down, actually) there lies another town: Raughnen, in the ancient, forgotten Old Riding. It is an equal match in muggery and thuggery alike. It also has magic spells and pointy wizard hats. And now, across the miles and across all sensibilities, a pretty nasty power (a magic one) calls out for its pretty nasty counterpart (a decidedly unmagic one): a proper sound Boro lad. Nothing good can come of it. This is a collection of one novella and four connected short stories: I. A Yorkshire Summoning II. Old Riding Day Trip (the novella) III. Heaven is a Parmo IV. Death on the 66 V. Death on the 257 In total, this comprises 34 chapters totalling around 35,000 words, so try not to worry. It will be over relatively quickly. There are three more short stories with more tenuous links to the core collection: Rush, Paper Round and Scenario 79: Sausage Fingers, all of which can be found in my collection Short Records of Misadventure. Reading these may allow you to make more sense of certain parts of the story, if any sense is to be made at all. NOTE: There are instances of prejudice and discrimination within these stories, including elements of sexism and ageism, which are purely the thoughts and actions of the characters involved and which certainly do not reflect my own views on these matters. ANOTHER NOTE; A WARNING, PERHAPS: This can get a bit weird. In less than 150 pages, we have four viewpoints, first and third person narratives, and a completely disjointed plot with lots of gaps, dead ends and no real resolution. Also ZERO lunatic asylums. It's all a bit odd. If that sort of thing isn't your cup of tea, which it most likely isn't, it might be best to move on now.
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