"Hey guys, let me tell you the story of a man, his name was uh. Whatever. he did this and that, and the important part was that he gave me a cookie." one of the god boasted at the poker table, as he took out the cookie he recieved.

"Wow! What did you do for him to give you that?!" the other gods exclaimed.

"I just needed to give him some power you know, the one that makes whoever that has a weak mentality succumb to him. Hehhe." the god laughed. Apparently that was a really good trade.

"Man, I'm so jealous" another god said.

The cards were flopped once again. And, there went my money into the hands of another god.

"Hey new guy, what do you govern?!" they suddenly turned their attention to me.

"Potatoes" I replied.

"Woah damn"

"Sweet"

"why am I the god of dreams?!"

"Lets trade, my metal powers for your potato powers"

I refused their offers. It looks like they had noticed the worth of the almighty powers over potatoes.

Perhaps one would find it strange. In a serious poker match where money that could be used to overcome and buy over a few kingdoms were thrown around in a light hearted manner.

I looked to my balance. Only 4000million remained.

However, if I win, I can multiply that by 12. Everyone here is bound to call it regardless. Poker here was wierd. No maximum or minimum buy in. Thus allowing gods to randomly go All in at will.

":Call" the other 11 replied without even a second thought.

It was true blind poker. One where the cards hadn't been distributed yet. No way to cheat.

"So, the system has been telling me that I need to drive a kingdom or 10 to insanity so I can turn into a god of Madness." The god of Insanity, Jilirium said.

"Sounds like a pain , but I've been there done that" the god of Madness, Illirium replied.

"What about you new guy? What's your evolution?" the gods asked.

"Potatoes are at the top of the food chain" I replied.

"Fuck, how long more do I have to evolve" the god of destruction, madness, Chaos, death and Deprivity, Kiportu moaned.

"Git good" I replied.

The cards flopped. I won with a high card of Ace of spade. Looks like no one even had a single pair.

Good. Now I had 48000million.

"Hey bro~! Lend me some to play slots~" the god of alcohol and medicine, Uthyria slung his drunken body over my shoulders.

I passed him 40000million.

"I'll give you like 80% or something~" he replied, rather drunk.

The slots rolled. A normal 777 came out. Multiplying that amount by 777times.

A strange amount of 2.89x10^12 was displayed in my credit balance. What does this numbers even mean. How can I play poker now? I don't even know how much this was.

"Fuck, looks like I'm actually out" I sighed.

"Its alright bro, come, let's just have a drink" the god of Madness, Illirium conjured alochol out of thin air, and treated me to a glass.

And with that, we drunk our sorrows away.

Since our balance was broken, which means we don't have any money.

I tried putting a 100million on the blackjack table. And to my suprise, it worked. And yet the money didn't change. Oh this must be it! Its not that it was unusable, it simply became infinite!

I told my revolution to the mad god of madness.

"This is a revolutionary discovery!" he shouted.

Woahhhh.

The world was trippy. Like slanted. Perhaps this was what it means to be drunk? I mean, I did let the strange and yet harmless aura exsist in my body after all~?

And with that, came the 1087th glass.

Oh.

How did things get here?

My eyelids fell on me, as I saw Uthyria claim the #1 spot for the drinking contest that started from who knows when.

And among every other god on the floor, I collasped as well.

I woke up with Illirium screaming at me not to die.

What? Was he still drunk?

I looked at the aura comming out of him. Yeap he still was.

Apparently all the other gods were as well.

Though I had only been here for 3 or 4 days, this place was strangely hospitable. How many days had I been here already? Time ran strangely. Or rather, noticing that my hair had reached my shoulders, I wonder what happened.

"hey, when does the annual auction start?" I asked.

"Oh, tommorow." some god replied.

"Well, I had a good time here, goodbye" I saId to the group of gods that had been with me for 3-4 days? Or was it some few months? I vaguely recall throwing money at each other at a point in time though? When did that happen?

The first thing I needed to do was to get a haircut.

Which gods jumped upon me at the godly babershop. In the end, my hair was cut before I could even reach the counter.

"That'll be free~" the god at the counter was drunk as well.

Time to head for the annual auction. So, where was it?

I recalled a god of travel I had met before, uh Hermes? Yeap, so i rang him up.

"Map to auction" I said.

"Its held to the east of the starting village."

"Where is east?"

"..." he was silent for a while.

"I'll open up a wormhole for you, it'll be a hundred million"

"sure" I replied.

Then, as I transfered over a hundred million, a rift in space tore up infront of me. And I stepped inside it.

"Dominic, was it?" Hermes asked me.

"Yes?" I replied.

He didn't say anything, and simply sighed.

As I thought, the gods were rude. But he did help me after all, so I had to thank him for that.

The autction house was how do I put it, held inside a very very grand castle like theater thing. Apparently they built it yesterday. I took a number from the counter, where the gods used angels to help carry out the reception and stuff.

#9999998 was my plate number.

The first item that was auctioned would be the medicine I seeked. Which no god wanted it much, so I got it for a 100million or so.

Now that THAT was done, I could buy some other things the gods were selling.

Let's see... Phantasmal metal, Nah.......

Mock divinity spell..... tempting but no,

Blood of the first vampire.... ew

Yggsdrasil's fruit of life... they say it tastes bitter.

A sword in a shape of a katana blessed by the power of the sun... I see a female goddess who was called uh.. Amaterasu? Brimming proudly. But.. nah. What if I grip it too hard and it breaks? She had a rather dissapointed look as other gods tried to appease her nearby when it was sold for less than the fruit.

Oh. Fatal damage talismen? I could give it as souviniers to my siblings. They sold it in a bundle of hundred. So I bought it. It was a fierce competition, since other gods wanted to give their followers as well. But , gave up once it hit 500million.

"For our next product, we have a super rare, once in a lifetime beast. The child of the beast itself or at least that was what it was rumored to be..." the surroundings were in an uproar.

Oh, but the beast didn't have this aura though? It was much more.. deadly? Like a billion times. They probably are trying to sell off an ordinary phantasmal beast for alot of money. And it appeared as though most of the gods had already called their bluff about it.

Does it taste good? I wanted to try. Thus being one of the only few buyers, I bought it for cheap.

Based on the appearence of its multiple heads and hard exterior, I guess I could deep fry it? Would it taste good? I wondered.

The next one... Hermes boots? Hermes?

There was an uproar, as the gods fought over it. I guess his an idol or something?Apparently it allows you to fly anywhere. Which explains why gods wanted it.

Agies shield. Cultivation pills. More pills. Some sort of Chi boosting scroll. A legendary sword. Some godly make-up. Lipstick that increases charm.

Then there were items looted from the previous war. Hades helmet. Titania's evil energy. Not sure why they were selling that but whatever. And a time bending blade used by Maxwell sometime back.

The final item was some sort of land being for sale in the god realm. Apparently it was the rights to some part of the capital. Which a mad god bought to make a theme park with the land that was said to be perfect for the instant growth of crops and the meditation to increase one's power.

Not that gods liked to visit theme parks in the first place.

The mad gods were also hated due to their insane buying powers.

Throught the auction, I felt Indra's gaze alongside two other female goddess, one Freiya, the other one near Indra.

Damn. Do gods hold grudges for the rest of their eternal lifes or something?

The auction ended, and I recived my items afterwards. The phantasm beast was held in a cage. I opened it up, and held the beast in my arms. Wanting to feel for the weak spots. But strangely, it was soft in everyway. Including the sharp edges. Meaning that I could cook it in any way I wanted.

I poked its belly, and it made some wierd sound. Pretty good.

"Nice and fat" I said with a smile.

"Who do you think you are calling fat?!" a feminine voice revered through me. The beast started to glow and take on a human shape.

"You, a mere no-name god dare to call me the great Titania. F...Fa..Fat?" a beautiful young girl appeared before me.

She had a slim body figure, rather well-endowed on the chest. Actually to be honest its abit flat. Short, around the average female height. And two horns pointing out of her head. A vampirerish face which was sharp, and a little bit beautiful and cute at the same time. Red eyes. And black armor on her shoulders. With her flowing crimson colored hair slung over her back.

But the problem here was that she was naked.

As a man, I'll be honest. Actually you get what I'm thinking. So I took a good look and burned the image into my brain.

"hmmm... Flat" I gave my opinion after observing closely abit longer.

She seemed to have noticed her own predicament as well.

"Yoou,,,,,!" she screamed as her face flushed red. Her hand came. I blocked it naturally. Her legs after wards, allowing a full peak of her secret garden below.

Thank you for the meal.

And I blocked it as well.

Afterwards, she simply turned back into her beast form in my arms.

"If only I had my powers...." she mummbled.

Cute. Not like it'll matter regardless.

I spotted a familiar person ahead.

"Hey Kipotru! I got myself a cute little pet~" I boasted.

"Ohhhhhh! But I got to built a themepark in the capital~ for you I'll make the mascot a potato! Too bad you're leaving the heaven (god) realm for a while, at least when you come back it'll be done!" he said.

And with that, I made my way back with the aid of Kipotru, as he distracted Freiya long enough for me to sneak into her teritory and return back to the statue in the mortal realm.

"What kind of god does wierd shit like this?!" Titania complained as we snuck into the house of Freiya.

I found the statue and quickly returned.