《Cliché cliché the classic cancer cliché》Rewrite : 8
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"Hello, I'm dominic, human." that was my introduction.
"So Dominic, what are you here for?" the goddess asked. In a rather contempt tone. I guess that's how the gods behave?
"Can you please heal my sister?" I asked.
"Why should I?" the goddess replied.
"For you're a really kind, graceful and benovelent god?" Dominic tried.
"I know." the goddess replied.
What the fuck? How narssassistic can one get?
"How about I give you a potato?" Dominic tried again.
"Huh? Who'd want something as useless as a potato?" she said.
Useless??
Her words had immediately turned me off. Even if she wanted to, I wouldn't even want to seek or take help from her.
"Ew" the words crept out of my mind.
A slip of the toungue or so they call it.
"Huh? What was that?" the goddess asked.
I didn't bother to turn around and reply her, as I just simply left from the front door.
"A mere mortal dares to ignore me?!" her voice prattled on behind.
Then, around me, I noticed some sort of a black aura trying to wrap itself around me. It looked to be the same type as the one which affected my sister.
" As benevolent as a mafia I guess?" the words slipped out of my mouth again. This time, rather intentionally.
The black aura was sort of blocking my vision, so I broke it apart with my fist. The impact had a sort of sound that was the same as shattering glass.
She gave me a parting gift, I guess I should give her one too?
Picking a rock from her garden, I threw it at her house, quite a distance away. Making sure to hit the garden as well. Her front door on the left where her figure was, and her garden slightly to the right. My rock travelled in a really stratight path, destroying the plants, causing them to literally scream, and tearing down half of her house.
NIce shot! If I were a judge that'd be a 8/10.
Her face looked horrified, as I notice some ultimate level magic gathering.
But I don't wanna fight right now~
"Let's just call it quits kay?" I said, as I kicked aside the light magic sort of like a gigantic laser shot at me. The sound of glass shattering yet again.
"..."
She remained silent. Guess I'll take that as a yes.
Moving along, its time to have some fun in the god realm. I mean, there's pretty much a whole year to waste before I can get my item.
The first stop would be... let's see, ah as I was walking on the air, a natural path that forms under the feet of the residence in this realm, I spotted a nice little ambient village not far away.
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I guess gods also like to live in communities?
I arrived, jumping down into the marketplace, where multiple gods appeared to be selling and buying stuff? Sort of like the normal scenery one sees in the night market. A bunch of cookery gods competing against each other by selling various delicacies at a rather reasonable price. Such as lobster smeared with the sauce made by an egg of a cockatrice and the etc. Stuff you'll find in the restraunts of the highest class were being sold like nothing in this little marketplace.
I, naturally went on to taste the delicacies. Buying a stick with some sort of meat on in for 50 credits, as I bit onto it, some sort of full sensation rushed into my tastebuds. It was.. heavenly. Easily the best thing I tasted.
The next one sold an odinary looking sausage on a barbequed stick, for a hundred credits. Dragon luncheon meat made sausage! was on its store board. It was delicious. Betraying the looks, the taste was unexpectedly rich and delicate. It reminded me of eating some premium steak smeared with the best of the best of sauces.
"Splendid." my comment leaked out unintentionally. It was more like I couldn't control it.
"Heh, my sausages makes my customers tell the truth!" the store owner, probably some minor cooking god, smiled.
I then noticed a sort of pinkish white aura floating adrift around me.
Oh. So that was it.
I quickly waved it aside.
Then out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the almighty , food that breaks even the heavens itself.
Oh my god, or was it gods here? A potato, sliced into a swirl, drapped in cheese and deep fried to goodness.
I immediately headed for it.
10credits.
That was cheap?
I bit into it. The natural taste of the potato was splendidly brought out by the flavour of the cheese. It was. Perfect. Crispy on the outside, soft and tender on the inside.
"Truly the best" I commented, as I walked down towards a less populated street.
"Hey you!" I heard a female voice call out to me.
Was I getting hit on? No way, I'm not my brother...or my sister... sometimes even females go after her...
"Yes?" I asked.
"Are you a new god?" the girl asked. I noticed two distinct cat ears on her head.
"I've never seen you around here" she continued.
Come to think of it. Mortals were somewhat of a rare thing in this godly realm, and would probably be killed or kicked out if one were to be found roaming here...
Then, a sudden brilliance had hit me.
Remembering how Freiya reacted to potatoes. I knew I had to change the gods persepective on it.
"Oh, I am the new god of potatoes! Here to spread the gloriousness and fame of the almighty potato and establish the OOTP( order of the potatoes)" I said. Pretty epic if you ask me. Its like some sort of grand speech.
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"Oh shit its a mad god!" the female god screamed. The surroundings too, begin to walk away as fast as possible.
Rude.
The gods were rude as heck.
"Hey! Um" another female voice called out to me.
This time I saw an ordinary female appearence wearing a farm straw hat thing?
"So are you serving under any agricultural god?" she asked.
What was she talking about?
How could a potato god serve under any mere agricultural god. If its the potato, it'll be at least the leader of the whole agricultural god business. I had to correct her way of thinking.
"No. Potatoes are superior to them! Why are you asking me such pure nonsense?" I replied.
She screamed and ran away. "Its really a mad god!" she exclaimed.
As I thought, the gods were really rude.
I carried on my little tour in the village, until I arrived at a rather desolated street. In fact, it was completely empty other than a few guardian gods who stood in my way.
"Get out of the village mad god! This is the end!" they shouted.
Oh, so theres nothing left to see?
"If not we are..." before they could finish.
"Sure" I replied.
"uh." they seemed to want to talk some more.
"That's it?" they asked.
"What's it?" I asked.
???
Guess we are confused.
"Well, he is a god of potato after all..." one of the guards said.
"explains the peacefulness..."
And with that, I slowly walked towards. North south east west, I think I'll go with whatever direction I'm heading to now.
~~~~~~
Walking. Walking.
There was nothing in sight.
Faster and faster, I went ahead. Until I broke into a small sprint where the clouds flew behind.
Ahead I noticed a sort of colosseum sitted above a gigantic cloud. By gigantic I mean like 15 soccer fields large. And that was also the size of the colosseum. Or the whole town was designed that way. I noticed. Centered around the town was another giant colosseum.
Which was where my legs brought me.
I flew right in, and took a seat. For some reason, the whole columm was empty. While the others were rather filled up. Looks like even gods have some humanish hobbies. Or since most gods were once human at some point, I guess that's just how it was.
And then, some macho guy appeared infront of me. He had rather tanned skin, or was it brown. Rather good looking, and had some sort of harem around him.
I looked at the goddessess I presumed. Damn. They must have went through plastic surgery on everything or something.
The god glared at me.
"Youngling," he began.
"That's my seat" he said.
I looked around at all the empty seats. Why don't he get his own? And laid down horizontally across the chairs.
"In..Indra this.." one of the girls moaned a rather seductive complain.
A spear gathered in his hand. As lightning crackled and boomed all around.
"Move." he said.
I noticed everyone else intensely staring over here.
Wait a minute. Could it be? That the seats were needed to be bought?
Whoops. My bad I guess.
Out of the corner of the eye, I spotted a god standing fazzled and selling hotdogs. Oh, another sellling drinks!
I bought a hotdog and bit it.
Damn. That was good. So i bought the rest.
I drank from the drink. It was also good.
So I also bought the rest.
While I was doing this, Indra could only intensely stare at me.
You gay or something bro?
I gave him his seat. So that was resolved right? And thus, I sat down two rows ahead.
"Darling, there's nothing left to eat or drink" a female voice said.
"you!" his voice boomed yet again.
"Hand over the food and drinks!"
"Uh. No." I said.
Though I said no. I might give him some if he asks nicely though...
And yet again the words slipped out of my mouth in a soft mumble.
"You..you bastard!" Indra was in a fury.
His spear condensed in his hand. I'm pretty sure that was some famous thing he had or something. Could he be a popular god or something?
His spear was thrown towards me.
Oh boy. What if my drink spills?
The spear was how do I say? Fast? Yet not fast? It was like fast in a constant way. Without much of a change in speed.
I kicked it aside. His face was sort of like very suprised, as he cancelled his spear before it hit him.
And again, I found myself surrounded by the guardian gods.
"You again?!" the were suprised.
"hello again!" I was suprised.
"ya want some drinks and food?" I asked.
"Sure! Wait a minute you're not allowed here!" the guard gods said.
"k." I replied.
So I passed along the drinks and food I bought, and left.
"Wait...blah blah blah" I heard Indra talk behind me.
That was one angsty god. I don't think I'd like to talk to him much. Pretty rude as well. Though I was the same. Guess this was my fault? Bleh. Doesn't matter~.
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