《Demons Don't Lie》Chapter 37 - A negotiation after a question in a deal in a deal
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Markus wiggled his eyebrows at Rin before making his second tablet disappear in a puff of smoke. He picked the first back up from where I’d left it on the log before I’d knelt next to Septo.
“Now, I think we can both agree that three one names against—how many would you say are here, Algier?”
“Twelve, give or take.”
“Right, twelve more-than-one names. Wouldn’t the odds be absolutely terrible for the many? On that note, you should reconsider this whole business with telling us how to deliver the rabdoses.”
“We don’t want a fight, by the way,” I added. “It’s too much hassle and we’d rather not lose any healing items. No telling what we’re going to face at the exit.” It certainly wasn’t her party, as I’d already discovered, but the fact that there were only twenty-eight demons guarding the most hotly contested point in the Ring of Betrayal meant they weren’t a pushover.
The three name haures didn’t respond, but her exterior was so stony, you could only assume she was fuming. All of that question-asking business with Septo had paid off—doubly so, because my corruption hadn’t increased after being asked a question. Rin’s delay tactics and attempts to find our allies were now rendered useless, at least in her eyes, since she now assumed she was completely outgunned.
Even if we did attack Rin’s party and she called reinforcements, they would all be bunched up inside the Junction Tower. Against three potential one names, that wasn’t a fun idea. Of course, if they actually did call all their forces back, we might have been screwed. Even with Markus, even if Silica happened to show up—okay, maybe not. Still, all it would take was for one stray projectile to hit me and I was a goner. It was better not to risk that. Rin must have been thinking something similar. Why risk losing members in a fight, especially when they weren’t even the strongest group out there? I’d have to thank Septo at some point for providing us with that opportunity.
The dog-headed balaam had their eyes fixed firmly on the ground. When Rin glanced their way, they slinked back a little.
“By the way, Rin,” Markus asked, his voice teasing. “Did you end up finding our allies?”
Rin shot Markus a death glare. “No,” she said thickly. At that moment, her second laptop disappeared and she collected her first one off the ground. “Fine. You can deliver the rabdoses yourself, Markus.”
“Sounds fantastic to me,” Markus said. He tossed the tablet up and, rather than vanish in a puff of smoke like usual, it faded away, indicating he’d put it away for safekeeping. “Come on, human. We have some chores to do.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Er, aren’t we forgetting something?”
“What’s that?”
I paused for a moment. “The price. We still haven’t settled on one.”
“We’ll get to it. No need to rush these things. Seriously, you’re talking to a one name. I’m pretty certain I know how to do those deal-y things.”
“Agreed,” Rin interjected. “I’d rather see what we’re working with before we negotiate price.”
Well, there was more to discuss than price. For example, we still hadn’t negotiated safe passage into the contract. Who knew what Rin would try to plot while we were away? Either way, I let it slide. I couldn’t undermine Markus too much, regardless of how it grated me.
So, I let the haures lead the way back into the woods. As I did so, I shouted over my shoulder, “Call your allies back, or we might accidentally step on them.”
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Rin whipped her head back to the Junction Tower. “Polka, call them back!”
We travelled randomly through the woods. There wasn’t any particular place we were looking for, rather we were waiting for our allies to present themselves. Shadows rushed by in the distance as Rin’s allies were called back to the Junction Tower one at a time.
It was uncomfortable as Hell, having to stroll about with only Markus. The haures decided to make it even more uncomfortable by speaking once we were well out of earshot of their iuda—which took a good ten minutes of brisk walking.
“I’m just thinking aloud,” he said, “that Rin may possibly be preparing an ambush on the opposite side of the Ring.”
“‘Possibly’ is an understatement,” I grumbled. “Of course she is. Even if she looked all scared, we don’t know how much of that was an act. Stronger demons can imply things that aren’t true, so long as it’s not explicit. Either way, it makes sense to pile up her forces to prevent a potential attack, and if it turns out that we’re not as terrifying as I made us out to be, she might decide to attack anyway. Which is why we should really get that protection clause in the contract.”
“Well deduced. You can say some intelligent things from time to time.”
“I’m flattered,” I said dryly.
“However, there is one bit of information that you’re missing. Rin is unpredictable. To most haureses, preparing an ambush would be idiotic when the other side demands that both parties cannot attack each other—it’ll never happen anyway, so just scratch the clause in and get it over with. However, Rin loves chaos. It’s part of what makes her such a formidable haures.”
“Wow. Two compliments in a day for people other than yourself. Is your sigil breaking, Markus?”
The haures shot me a serious look. “Even if I negotiate our safety through the Tower, in all likelihood she’s going to include some specific language in the contract that’ll let her weasel her way into attacking us. For example, she may state that she will offer protection to our party of six. In that case, when it turns out there are only five members in our new party, she could very well null and void that part of the contract.”
“Aren’t you meant to be the master negotiator? Don’t let her do that.”
“Ah, but I wish I could. You see, you’ve put me in a bit of a dill. That little gambit of yours, claiming we have six members, with three one names, is, without a doubt, bullshit. I’m not quite sure what interpretative magic you applied to get to that conclusion and, truly, I’m amazed that you managed to get around the balaam’s compulsion.”
“But as brilliant as it was, you’ve now left me having to accept whatever deal she throws at me. Otherwise, if she asks a pointed question, your lie will be exposed very quickly. Who knows how she would react?”
I lowered my gaze and fell into contemplative thought. After a minute of walking without our allies presenting themselves, I couldn’t hold a question back. “Why did you choose to bargain instead of fight? The reason you’re not telling.”
“Oh, that.”
Markus’ gaze darted around the woods, as though seeking something out. There was nothing out there, however, but trees and undergrowth. Even the critters that usually thrived wherever green things grew were gone, likely annihilated by the digressers that roamed these lands prior.
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“As much as I would like to take all their points,” Markus said, “another fight would put your fragile human flesh in harm’s way. Now, while I would love nothing more than to see you get flayed alive by a horde of clumsy demons, what I would not love is an encounter with that snake-loving earth hag. I’m not quite ready for a full confrontation with her. I would first need to,” he tugged on the bottom of Penny to stretch the leathery glove taut, “get a little bit more acquainted.”
On the surface, it sounded like Markus just wanted to increase his affinity with Monk and Penny. However, there were plenty of ways to interpret that statement. For example, he could have meant that he literally wanted to get more acquainted with Silica so as to better learn her weaknesses.
Upon considering that, something occurred to me. Though I knew it would be pointless asking him, I figured that any hint would be better than none.
“Markus, why didn’t you just blast the estray?”
The haures cocked an eyebrow at me. His thumb pressed into the palm of his right hand. “Oh, Algier. For all your bluster, you truly are just a clueless human. For a moment, I thought you had insight into something that we demons are unable to utter. You know, that thing you mentioned after the estray was erased?”
I nodded. He was referring to the fact that humans descend to Hell and become demons once they’re dead. It was one of many secrets that Everwant had bestowed upon me. One of the less horrible secrets, anyway.
“Well, our sigils prevent us from even speaking that. It’s stamped right into the binding ring, along with a bunch of other, equally annoying rules.”
I already knew that, again thanks to Everwant. In fact, he hadn’t provided any information worth my time. What a waste. It was a good reminder that Markus was a piece of shit. After the events of today, I needed that.
Leaning in, Markus offered me a fanged grin. “Oh, please. Would you have preferred I laid out my weaknesses for you?”
“We would all appreciate that.”
Markus and I came to a halt as Toll, Enzi, and Volce materialised out of thin air. Enzi and Volce released their grips on Toll’s arms, and the balaam stuffed their knife rabdos, Myst, into a frayed rope they used as a belt.
The haures swiped a finger at our allies. “Ah, there’s that thorn in my side. All three of them, in fact.”
“As charming as usual, I see,” Volce said in a mocking tone, implying he was never charming. Markus shrugged in reply.
Enzi bounced up to me and beamed right in my face. “How do you think it went?”
“There’s no need to ask that,” I deadpanned. “How many—give me a count of their party.”
“Fourteen,” Toll answered without prompt. They were being remarkably cooperative today, which was a breath of fresh air.
“So a few are hiding,” I mused. “Good. Let’s get to divvying up rabdoses.”
As soon as those words left my mouth, Toll, Enzi, and Volce all eyed Markus wearily. The problem was that we hadn’t decided on a price, which meant we were going to overstock on rabdoses.
“Who shall hold them?” Toll asked, their crest standing at half mast.
“Well, I think yours truly,” Markus said, adjusting his tie.
“Oh, bullshit!” Volce shouted. “You’re not going to give them back.”
“I have a solution for that!” Markus said. He snapped his fingers and a tablet popped out above his hand in a puff of black smoke. “We sign a contract.”
Enzi flashed a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t think this is something that can be resolved with just a contract.” She cocked her head to one side, “Simply put, nobody here trusts you.”
“Oh, you don’t trust me?” cried Markus. “After all of you screwed me out of my points, stabbed a loophole through my contract, and threatened to erase me, I’m the untrustworthy one? As opposed to the human who keeps weaselling his way out of everything we throw at him?”
“Would you have preferred we kiss you?” I said. I glanced at Toll to see if they’d respond, but the balaam only shot me quick look before fixing their gaze back on Markus. Very cooperative. That did not bode well.
Markus shrugged. “Alright. Then let’s use demonocracy.” He might as well have just told me to go fuck myself.
Demonocracy, much like its inspiring ideology, democracy, was conceived as a way for demons to make decision in a peaceful manner. It’s rather simple. Every demon is offered a number of votes to cast when making group decisions. The number of votes they have is decided by a simple formula: ten minus number of names.
Therefore, Markus had nine votes, Enzi Lash eight, Volce Alabaster Avaricious Valance six, and Toll was unknown as of yet. As for me, if I were even allowed to participate, I would be offered a glorious one vote. The thing was, it was contentious whether humans deserved a place in demonocracy. That would no doubt be argued over.
I raised my hand and said without prompt, “I cast my one vote to tell you to go fuck yourself. Everyone should get one vote. Period.”
None of the demons were going to agree. However, by establishing myself as part of the voting system, I could head off any arguments against me getting no votes early, or at the very least misdirect conversation away from that topic.
Markus cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, and use that broken old system that humans were so fond of? Please remind me how that turned out for you.”
“That is what Algier is implying, yes,” Toll answered.
“Either way,” Markus continued, “you can just sit this one out, human. You don’t have any rabdoses to trade anyway. Unless you want to offer up that knife of yours.”
I snapped around to Toll, brushing off Markus’ comment. “You need to tell us how many names you have.”
Toll’s eyes darted between the haures and myself. “Markus is aware.”
“Well, we aren’t,” Enzi chimed in. “I’d like to know so that I may keep count.”
“Yeah, tell us your names” Volce said, floating up to Toll and flitting about behind their back. “I cast six votes.”
“I cast eight,” Enzi added, raising her hand.
“One,” I said dryly.
“I cast all my votes against,” Toll spoke carefully.
Though on the surface demonocracy seems like a system that unfairly favours lower name demons, it’s actually incredibly fair by demonic standards. Demons are not created equal, and the power of a one name far surpasses that of a five name, let alone a nine name. To offer a high name demon even a ninth of the say of a one name was more than what they would get under any other circumstance.
But behind every beautiful façade lies the ugly interior. Though a weaker demon could vote against a one name, none of them would be stupid enough to. They would be asking for a swift toss back into the Pit. Therefore, demonocracy is generally used under two circumstances. One, when there is a factional divide between two strong demons, and two, when a strong demon wants to offer choices to their subordinates in the “fairest” possible way. And obviously, it’s a great way to avoid fights since it does give a “fair” resolution.
Markus fixed Toll with a smirk. “You know, I could vote against as well.”
Toll bored their keen gaze into him. “What do you want?”
“I want you to vote with me on six occasions. I will decide when those are.”
“Five.”
“Do you really want your names being revealed?”
“Obviously not.”
I turned to Toll. “Why is it so important that you keep your names hidden? The administrators would have already revealed them to the audience.” I could not afford to let Markus do this, even if it cost me a question. He was going to use Toll’s vote to ensure he gave away the least items.
“That is actually not true,” Toll said. “I asked the administrators to keep my names hidden, and they obliged. As for your question, it is because there are some individuals in this tournament that would hunt me down relentlessly should they find out who I am. This way, my chances of survival are greater.”
You now owe Toll the following [Questions]:
3 mundane, 6 inquisitive (was 5), 2 seeking
I blinked the popup away. They were getting way more abrasive.
“But they already know your prime name,” I said to Toll. As in, the first name that all demons had from the moment they were bound to this universe.
“That’s fine. I’ve never used it until the Culling.”
There was little else I could do to stop this from happening, but there was something I could do afterwards. I relented.
“I accept your deal, Markus,” said Toll.
“Excellent. Now.” A tablet appeared before Toll with a stylus hovering in front of it. As though being manipulated by an invisible hand, the stylus scratched a signature onto the tablet. With that, the tablet disappeared in a puff of smoke. “All done.”
I raised my hand. “I vote to be allowed to make two votes until this session has adjourned.”
All four demons stared at me wide eyed. Asking for more votes was strictly taboo. The reason this system was employed in the first place was to avoid fights. However, that was only true for demons.
“There’s no reason I can’t,” I said, shrugging. “The rules surrounding human votes are tenuous. So I can have more votes if you’d like me to. There are no rules against it, or for it, for that matter.”
Enzi was the first to catch on. She raised her hand. “I think that would be a wonderful idea.”
Volce took her cue, realising I had a plan. “Sounds good to me,” he said. After all, the two of us would likely vote the same on all matters, so it made sense for him to increase my votes.
I eyed Toll. The balaam shot me an acute stare back. “If you vote yes, I’ll let you direct three of my votes.”
“Oh, come on, Toll,” Markus said. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to believe the human. He’s already weaselled out of a deal made by me. Without a contract, you’re practically guaranteed to get screwed over.”
“Then how about this. Toll, I’ll let you ask me about how I knew that demons are dead humans.”
Toll’s head turned the side and they fixed me with one eye. “Let me ask…” they emphasised.
“Without telling everyone else first, that is.”
The balaam made no moves. They were even more unreadable than usual. Though Toll couldn’t divine the answer, there was nothing stopping me from just spilling it out when answering a question. However…
“Of course, you won’t ask just yet, since you would have done so already if you had enough questions.” The logic was sound. If they couldn’t divine the answer, then the cost in questions would still be high, even if it was easier than divination. Again, though, the balaam’s expression didn’t shift.
“Very lovely offer,” said Markus, clapping slowly. “But what’s to stop you from simply lying to us?”
It was Toll that answered. “It will be found out.” Everyone turned to Toll and waited expectantly. The balaam drew themselves up. Their feathers fluffed out then settled again. “You’re all rather disappointing, you know? All of you have means for finding the answers yourselves. The fact that a human has run you around for so long makes you all a joke to your cantos.”
“Oh, please, like you’re one to talk!” Volce growled. “The only reason I never bothered asking was because I’ll pluck it straight from his mind, anyway.”
“If you truly think an entity that can stop my divination will simply let you read those answers like it were a book, then you are truly delusional.” Toll faced me head on; both their eyes pierced through me. “And I must admit that I am endlessly frustrated with how much you keep fucking with me. I accept your deal, Algier. You get two votes.”
I don’t know what made me happier, the fact that I’d succeeded or the fact that I’d thoroughly pissed off Toll. It was about time I got under the balaam’s feathers.
I turned to Markus and folded my arms. “You know, you could have just directed Toll to vote against me, since the deal is already signed. Why is that?”
Markus stared at me deadpan. “Ha ha, jokes are for laughing at.”
Well, it was obvious. Though demonocracy didn’t allow repeats of a vote in order to hurry things along, amendments were acceptable. If I lost the first vote for two, we could hold another one for three, then four, eventually burning through all of Markus’ forced questions. Since I already had two other demons and a total of fourteen allied votes on my side, it had to be taken seriously.
“How wonderful!” Enzi giggled. “Now, I would love to discuss who gets to hold onto the rabdoses. I would like to cast all my votes on Algier.”
“And let the weakest member of our party carry all the goods? No thank you.”
“You can have him sign a contract to ensure he hands them all back afterwards. Though I’m sure you’ll give mine back without a fuss,” she said to me, then offered a wink.
“Oh, I could never refuse you,” I said sarcastically.
Volce waved his hands in the air. “Wait, you need to tell me if that’s sarcasm or not. I’m really not too sure at this point.”
Markus shrugged. “As long as I get to write the contract, I’ll vote yes.”
“That sounds acceptable to me,” Toll said.
“Wait a second,” I said. “How come I don’t get a say in this before you all vote?”
“Don’t be stupid,” Volce spat. “The last thing we need is Markus signing one of his sneaky contracts.”
“Yes, but like this, I will sign a contract,” I said.
“Why is that a problem?” Toll asked.
Of course, I couldn’t tell them why I was protesting. The last thing I needed was for them to find out that I’d had contact with a Marquis, and that he vaguely threatened my death if I let my corruption climb too high. How high? Who knows? And that fact alone was making me extra cautious. Well, I had no choice. Besides, Volce wasn’t wrong. Letting Markus hold onto the rabdoses increased the risk of him wiggling his way through a loophole in the contract.
I folded my arms. “Well, it’s not like it matters what I vote, so let’s get it done.”
Markus grinned then snapped his fingers. A tablet appeared before all of us. I was surprised to see that it only showed three pages of fine text.
“Since you’re such a weasel, my poor human,” Markus sneered, “I’m going to keep this one as simple as possible. Don’t sign it yet. Once I fill out all of the rabdoses we need to trade, plus optional extras should Rin decide to be difficult, then you can sign it. I just wanted you to know how much I abhor you right now.”
I shook my head. “Just say you want to suck my dick and we’ll get it over.”
“I need to remind you that I have very sharp teeth. Now.” The haures clapped his hands. “Let’s decide who has to give up their precious findings. We’ll go around in a circle and vote one at a time on a rabdos you pull out of your inventory. If you haven’t identified it yet, kick the human until he does.”
I raised my hand. “I’ll identify everything if you give me three vo—”
“No!” Markus and Toll said in unison.
Enzi leaned closer and placed a hand on my arm. “Please, Algier. It would really help me if you could identify all of our rabdoses.”
Enzi has asked for a [Favour]. You now owe her 0 [Favours].
[Corruption] has increased from 10 to 11.
I let out a long, agonised groan. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Sorry,” Enzi said, sheepishly clasping her hands before her. “I’d just really like to know the identity of some rabdoses, and since you’re always playing so hard to get, I felt I had no choice.” She offered me a brilliant smile. “Also, would you mind voting no on my turns? Thanks.”
The thing about demonocracy is that it’s all bullshit. The most powerful demons always get what they want.
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