《Demons Don't Lie》Chapter 9 - A deal with a deuce
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The good thing about a fire is that it’s a useful source of light in the dead of the night. The bad thing about a fire is that, in order to have one, things have to catch on fire. Sometimes you’d even have to run towards the things that were on fire. Like what I was doing.
I plunged between the burning trees, chasing after Toll. The heat licked at my face, my arms, my whole body. I could barely see as my eyes were stinging. I pushed through, however, following in the footsteps of the bird-headed demon in front of me.
The balaam hadn’t explained their reasons for diving headfirst into a fight, but my thought at the time was that they were trying to third party the fighting groups. Or, in other words, they were trying to mop up the points, items, and any stragglers that happened to survive while they were still distracted or injured. I considered that to be idiotic given how steadily the flames poured into the night.
Through my tears, I almost didn’t see that the balaam had come to an abrupt halt in front of me. I skidded to a stop, then blinked a couple of times. The patch of trees and grass we stood in was free of flame, though charred as though the devastation had already passed through. In the centre was a mound of brick and rotted wood. A tiny demon laid flat against it, cowering before another that held a gloved hand towards them.
Toll held their spear firmly in front of them. Enzi rushed into the clearing next and was about to speak, but upon seeing what Toll was fixated on, she raised the sword she’d won earlier. I almost scoffed at them. They weren’t going to win that fight.
The demon holding their hand forward glanced up at the three of us. Their eyes were glowing red like the flames of Hell. “Oh, more customers,” he spoke in a voice like oil. “It’s not too often that people come to me of their own accord. Unless, of course, it is to strike a deal.”
I wanted to make a witty remark back to him, but my throat had dried out from the heat, and I was too stunned to think of anything smart. I knew this demon, and I had no idea why he was here. Tall, tailored black suit with gaudy black shirt and tie, slicked back hair, two small horns that ran close to his scalp, and a smile that made you think he’d just told you he’d slept with your mother.
Of course, he wouldn’t have done such a thing because he wasn’t an enepsi. This was a haures, a demon of deals, and he didn’t seem all that interested in making one right now. Didn’t need to, either, if the burning forest was anything to go off. He was a one name haures; a terrifying bastard who was close to monopolising worldwide banking services under his self-titled brand. Markus.
In that brief moment that Markus looked away from his prey, the smaller demon leapt off the pile of rubble and flew around it, despite his lack of wings. Markus smiled at our group and said, “One moment, please,” then turned on the fleeing demon.
The haures stuck up their gloved left hand and flames streamed out from his palm. The heat was overbearing and I had to cover my face to protect it.
A shout came from the smaller demon. “You fucking dull-eyed under-cooked water-belcher!”
He dodged and weaved around the jet of flames, rising and falling and tumbling around as high as he could fly.
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“Will you calm down already?” Markus bellowed back. “I thought demons loved fire.”
“Not as much as you love your fucking ego, small-horn!” the small demon shouted over his shoulder. He ducked behind a tree and was out of sight.
Markus sighed and let up on the flames. Turning back to us, he said, “Deuces, right? Slippery little buggers. You can all run along now.” Then he marched off into the burning trees.
Enzi leaned toward me. “Now would be a good time to get rid of him.”
“I agree,” said Toll, their eyes unflinching from where Markus had disappeared. “He’s too dangerous to stay bound for any longer.”
“Idiots, both of you,” I said, voice hoarse. “He just mopped up a war party but you think the three of us can take him.”
Toll’s crest rose. “And do you think that letting him exist for longer will be any less of a threat?”
“Obviously.”
Of course not. But what choice did we have? We were standing in a field of fire that the haures had made, and Markus didn’t even seem to flinch at it. If we were going to take him, we’d either need more allies or to catch him by surprise.
I was about to follow Markus into the newly lit thicket when a high pitch yelp sounded from the trees. The deuce came hurtling through the air with the end of their tail on fire—both tails, actually, as all deuces had two red tails that each ended in a sharp point. The deuce caught sight of us and floated straight in our direction.
“Hey, what the fuck are you naval gazers doing?” the deuce howled. “Attack him! Let’s work together.”
The deuce dived at me with blinding speed. I didn’t even have a chance to raise my knife to fend him off. He landed on my chest and gripped onto my shirt, hugging me.
He was about the size of my forearm and red from head to toe. The deuce wore shorts that were long enough to cover his stubby legs and the only thing keeping them from falling off him were a pair of suspenders. His white shirt was soiled and he’d buttoned it up incorrectly so that it crumpled. Two nubby horns poked out from a bowl of grey hair. When he pried his head off my chest and flashed me a brown-nosing grin, his teeth looked like twin saw blades.
“Hey, you’re a human, right?” he blurted out in a high pitch. “That means you’re a nice guy. Nicer than demons, anyway. How about you lend a deuce a hand—”
I smiled back as I slipped my knife under his chin. The demon froze.
“You have to the count of three to get off me. One.”
“Where did that bloody red bastard go?” came Markus’ oily tones. He strolled out from the flames, and when his eyes settled on me and the deuce in question, they brightened. Literally. “Human, hold still for a second, would you?”
Markus then raised his left hand and pointed a gloved finger at me.
I looked down at the deuce. “Three.”
“Aaargh!”
He flew off and started tumbling through the air. Flames shot after him, nearly singeing him.
“You cheating meat bag!” the deuce howled. “You skipped two.”
During the turmoil, Toll had slipped away into the flames. Enzi was collecting some of the rabdoses that had dropped onto the floor after Markus had sizzled the other demons to death. Which left me to negotiate with Markus and a deuce with anger problems. And the worst part was that my throat was dry! What a mess.
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“Hey, deuce,” I called out. “You never told me your name.”
“Fuck you!” the deuce shouted back.
Markus chuckled. “See? He’s not worth befriending. Just let me deal with him and he’ll be out of your dinner.”
“Fuck you too, Markus!”
“Oh, how rude. That’s not how you talk to an old friend.”
Sighing, I said, “But I thought you wanted my help, deuce.”
“From a nice human!” the deuce cried. “Not a stab-happy psychopath.”
A jet of fire whizzed past him and burnt his pants. He yelped then patted his pants down, tumbling and twirling all the while.
“Alright, fine! I’m Volce. Say it wrong and I’ll kick you in your sensitive bits!”
I buried my head in my hand. Even to this day, I don’t think I’ve ever met a demon this outrageous. Regardless, I needed a way to suppress Markus and using the deuce was one way to achieve that. Even though the haures was struggling to catch Volce, his eyes were constantly darting to his surroundings. He was waiting for a fight. Focusing on the deuce alone while ignoring us meant we could have just walked away, and that was probably his intent. It was a good offer; he had two gloves and had only used the one so far. That being said, if Markus was so fixated on the deuce…
“Volce,” I recited. “You having fun up there?”
“Does this look fun? I’m about to become crispy fried demon!”
Markus gritted his teeth. “Oh, yes, you’re going to be very well done. You mind leaving us alone for a while, human? As you’re no doubt aware, us demons don’t eat so we tend to make a mess when we play in the kitchen.”
I shrugged. “Well, Volce, I just figured that if you really didn’t want to be burnt to ash, you would have partnered with me.”
“Partner?” the deuce howled.
He dropped to the floor and skidded along it, then popped up behind a tree.
Markus growled, “You zippy little bugger!” Then he cranked up the flames.
I covered my eyes from the intensity and could only hear the roaring of flames and Volce screaming an extended, “Fuuuuuu—” When I looked up, the tree was ash.
“Okay, partners!” the deuce screamed as he whizzed past me.
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Markus said. “This moron is only a four name deuce. What good will that do for a human?”
Volce’s name count was something I was doubtful of. Sure, both Toll and now Markus had confirmed he was a four name demon, but he’d held out a long time against a one name. Less names meant a demon ought to be stronger. Give the discrepancy between their ranks, and that fact that Markus had a powerful rabdos, Volce ought to have been erased. Yet he was still dodging and weaving quite gracefully, I admit.
“He wouldn’t do much for me,” I calmly agreed with Markus. Calm in spite of the clusterfuck of events taking place around me. “He is pretty weak. Which is why he should offer something better than a normal partnership.”
“Alright!” Volce screamed. “Conditional mindreading.” I stood silent with my arms folded. A stream of fire singed Volce’s nubby horns. “Fuck! Okay. Power throttling. Er, protection so long as you don’t attack me. No, full protection!”
“For how long?” I asked.
“Until the end of this Ring.” I said nothing. “Alright. Fuck. Until you want to end it.”
“Better, but I’m still not tempted.”
“I agree. You shouldn’t be,” Markus chuckled. “It’s a terrible deal.” Despite his bluster, the haures’ eyes were darting nervously around the forest.
Fire licked Volce’s back causing him to let out a melodramatic squeal. He crashed hard into the pile of rubble. Markus approached, wiping his brow dramatically.
“Finally,” the haures sighed. He raised a hand. Blue flames engulfed the glove.
Panicking, the deuce reached out to me with both hands. “At-will activation!”
“Deal.”
The moment the word had left my mouth, I felt something heavy and cold press down on that part of me that I called a soul. With that sensation came the knowledge that the deuce and I were tied together, that there was a contract in place which I had no choice but to uphold.
Like a switch had been flicked, the fire rising from Markus’ glove licked out. He turned and stared at me with one eyebrow raised.
“Really? You’re going to do this to me?” Sighing, he scratched the back of his head. “Well, I should at least commend this little bugger for finding himself a temporary out from this dilemma.”
As he spoke, his eyes locked onto Enzi. She’d snuck around to the flank with sword in hand, the blade turned translucent, shimmering in the light of the fires as though it was barely there at all. Toll was nowhere to be seen.
“Oh, Enzi. Fancy seeing you here. What happened? Sucked a Marquis a little too hard and accidentally killed him?”
She smiled at him. “If you’d like, I can give you a blow by blow of all my exploits.” Her sword remained poised at her side, ready to be brought up at a moment’s notice.
Markus’ face twisted in disgust. “Perhaps share the details with your human. I’m sure he’ll be very excited to hear it.”
Just as I’d thought, Markus had been leery of the three of us since the start of the fight. The moment I’d partnered with Volce, he may have figured the fight was too difficult and decided not to pursue it. Sure, he might have been able to take us at that time—he was a one name, after all. But a demon wouldn’t take that risk if they could avoid it. The safer option was to avoid the fight and bide your time.
At least, that’s what I assumed was his logic. I was so damned wrong.
Volce stared wild eyed, gaze bouncing between Markus and me. It took him a few seconds to realise what had occurred, but when it sunk in, he leapt up and darted behind me, using my shoulder as a shield.
“Haha!” the deuce cried, thrusting a finger at Markus. “Take that, you little money bitch!”
Markus snapped his fingers and a lick of flame rose into the air. “You know I can still erase you, right?”
The deuce cowered behind me, undermining the false bravado he’d shown just a second ago. Sighing, I grabbed Volce by a suspender and threw him off me. The deuce floated harmlessly through the air before coming to a stop.
Markus adjusted his tie. “Well, I think that’s enough fighting for one night. I’m sure you want to get your sleep and”—he tilted his head back and shouted, “You can come out now, little balaam. I promise I won’t fight you. For now.”
It took everything I had not to take a jab at Markus. Every word he spoke steadily pissed me off.
Toll emerged from the burning thicket looking slightly singed. A few thin licks of smoke rose off their face and hands. They had their spear in one hand, gripped tightly. With eyes locked on Markus like he was prey, Toll circled around the haures, keeping far enough from him that Briary’s thorns wouldn’t reach the balaam if they threw the spear. Markus cocked his head to the side.
“Come now, we don’t have to fight. We can be friends—okay, perhaps not. I doubt you’d make a good friend.” He snapped his fingers. The sound was surprisingly sharp despite the gloves. “I know! How about allies. It’ll be easier to clear the first Ring with five of us. Of course, I could probably do it on my own, but it’s so lonely without lesser demons to carry my bags, so to speak.”
“Agreed,” Enzi said. The blade of her sword was starting to take on a more solid form. “I would terribly hate to have to spend five hundred of my own points to pass. A hundred each is far easier. I’m sure some of us have already accumulated so many points.”
“And he will likely eliminate us the first chance he gets,” Toll spoke.
The balaam was right, but Markus wasn’t the only one thinking of using an alliance as a pretence for backstabbing. At the very least, keeping him in sight was safer than allowing him to roam around freely to accumulate more rabdoses.
Toll pointed their spear at Markus. “Give us a demon’s word that you will not attack us before the end of the first Ring.”
Volce leaned towards me and whispered in my ear. “The fuck is that guy’s problem?” He jerked a thumb at Toll.
I stared at him deadpan. “Ask them.”
“Ha ha, ask a balaam a question. Your jokes are so terrible I’m fake laughing.”
Markus glanced around at the burning thicket. He snapped his fingers and the flames died down a little. Not the gloves’ doing, but a natural ability that all haureses had: the ability to smother fires at will.
That ability seems pointless on the surface but think of it like this. Say a demon army has swept through your lands and set everything to the torch. A haures then comes along and offers to put the fires out in exchange for the low price of everything you have. You agree because you’d have less if the fires continued raging. They wave their hand and the fires are gone.
Given their line of work, such a feat is a necessity. After all, when your favourite kind of diplomacy is gunboat diplomacy, you need the means to call off the guns.
As soon as the flames subsided, I instantly felt relief. I’d grown so accustomed to the heat that I hadn’t realised how much I’d been sweating. Just soaking up the radiance had taken a lot out of me and I wanted nothing more than to lay my head back down and sleep.
“Let’s sign a contract, then,” Markus said, flashing a devilish grin.
“A demon’s word is enough,” the balaam answered.
“Would you prefer I phrased it as a question?”
Toll’s crest rose and fell as the balaam tried to contain themselves. “No.”
Markus threw up his hands. “Relax, I’m just playing with you. I give a demon’s word: I will not attack any of you until the end of the first Ring.” Then in a rush, he added, “Subject to any further renegotiations, betrayals on the part of the other contracting party, or any action taken by the other contracting party which could potentially lead to my erasure, unnecessary loss of points, or anything that would be detrimental to my ability to move to the next Ring.”
A long silence from Toll. The tension between the two demons was thick enough to taste. The flames licked away at the trees, not fading fast enough. Toll’s grip on their spear tightened.
“Not good enough,” the balaam spoke thickly.
I couldn’t take it anymore and raised my voice. “Accept it, Toll; you won’t get a better deal. After all, Markus didn’t become a one name haures by playing fair.”
Slowly, the balaam’s crest fell. They lowered their spear until the tip touched the scorched earth. Relieved, I pressed a hand to my forehead.
“Let’s all agree to work together until the end of the first Ring,” I said. “And if it means anything, I, a lying human, promise to work together until the end of the Ring.”
One by one they all accepted, Toll going last.
Finally. The night had lasted far too long. In some ways, I would have preferred a straight fight to that mess, especially given how it all turned out.
Sighing, I said, “Alright. Let’s find somewhere that I can sleep. Markus just burnt down half the forest so that’s going to be a giant beacon to any would-be attackers. We need to move.”
Markus poked his forked tongue out to pantomime gagging. “Ah, sleeping. The thing that humans do when they ought to be working.”
I was too tired to clap back, and too pissed off with Markus to think of anything witty. I said dryly, “Yes, that.”
Without further ceremony, I trudged through the clearing and into the smouldering thicket. The other demons caught up, each keeping their distance from each other, aside from Volce who hovered silently by my side. After a few minutes of walking, the sky began to brighten ahead of us. Morning was on the march.
During our trudge, we were unable to find a place that looked remotely safe for sleeping, so we kept walking until the sun peaked over the horizon. Naturally, I felt like absolute crap. The last thing I needed was Toll trudging up to me, asking me questions. Unfortunately, Toll thought otherwise.
“Algier.” There was a weight to their words, and I couldn’t help but stop and frown at them. The other demons paused as well, eyeing us curiously. The balaam continued, “When a human is angry, they make a certain expression. It’s very different from the expression they make when they are afraid, or happy, or curious. I know these expressions very well. I have seen them many times. The one you showed when you were speaking to Markus was one of anger.”
No questions, just statements. I didn’t like where this was going. “Of course. He’s a condescending prick. Any human would get angry talking to him.”
“Algier.” The balaam’s voice was getting thicker, deeper, resonating through my soul. I instinctively held my breath. “Answer me truly: why are you angry with Markus?”
I tried to lie, but the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. They wouldn’t no matter how hard I tried. Toll had just cashed in a question and I could do nothing but tell them the truth. I held no grudge as I did; at that time, I felt I owed them an answer.
“Because he killed my mother.”
The moment the question was answered, it was like something left me: something that had been weighing me down yet was important to me. I could already guess what it was.
Trying not to face the balaam, to let them see how pissed I was, I trudged on with my head down. As I walked, several popups invaded my vision.
[Corruption] has increased to 3 (was 2)
You now owe the following [Questions]:
Toll: 2 Mundane, 1 Inquisitive, 1 Seeking (was 2).
A new [Contract] has been signed with Volce:
Deuce Pairing (Duration: Until the user cancels) (Addendums: Conditional mindreading, power throttling, full protection, at-will activation)
Convenient. Everything that had been laid out to me in a way that made it easy to recall. I didn’t have a data bank in my body like a demon did, so having it listed in my status screen cut away the disadvantage of having a flawed human’s memory. The contract with Volce seemed simple enough, though I’d have to check over each of those addendums to make sure he couldn’t weasel his way out. What bothered me most was that Toll had used up one of the questions I’d asked before we ran into the fight—which never happened, making it all a waste of my time—and as a result my corruption had increased by one.
I didn’t know how bad it was to have a corruption of 3 since there wasn’t an agreed upon way of quantifying corruption. However, judging by the quick jump after having one question answered, I assumed it was a system that increased linearly and that I’d need to at least see double digits before I noticed any change in me.
Despite the ominous sounding name, corruption isn’t that bad. Assuming you don’t give a fuck about your humanity, that is. Simply put, the higher your corruption, the more demonic you become. No, you won’t turn into a demon if you become really corrupt, it’s just that your behaviour would be indistinguishable from one. Meaning, no art, no games, no sleep, no sex, no alcohol, no lies—you get the point. All the good stuff tastes like ash in your mouth.
The problem was, I never liked demons. Still don’t, actually. The last thing I needed was to be acting like one. So I made a note to keep my corruption down as much as possible. Besides, I really needed to be good at lying if I wanted to survive. It was the only tool in my arsenal, aside from a useless knife, and corruption made it… difficult to lie.
As I was walking, Volce sidled up to me then nudged me in the shoulder. “Bad luck about the questions, Bambi. Well, I’m sure you’ll get your revenge on him. How many items you got?”
I glared at the deuce and held up my knife.
The deuce stopped dead in his flight and gaped at the knife. Then he gripped at tufts of his lank grey hair and screamed, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
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