Chapter Thirteen

**Vanna: Digital Tears**

Vanna watched from the edge of the forest as Jason and Ronan moved farther and farther away from her. The day was cold but it wasn’t the weather that numbed her. “Damn it, Jason,” she muttered as they faded out of sight. She wasn’t looking forward to tonight. “Come on,” Vanna said pulling on Juno’s reins, “we have the day to kill.”

Since their first encounter with the wolves, Vanna had improved significantly in strength and felt confident if she encountered another similar pack she would survive. She hadn’t revealed this to Jason, but once he started paying her she received an ongoing class quest that rewarded her experience for everyday Jason stay unharmed. I’m sure that boy doesn’t tell me plenty either, she thought to herself.

While her stats were doing well, her equipment was on the weaker side. All the money she’d saved up went into buying Juno at the cost of still walking around in mostly her starting armor. Every morning she checked the set warily watching as its durability point decreased.

~Standard Leather Armor [Light Armor] (Average Durability: 9/35): +5 Leg Protection, +8 Body Protection. Set Bonus: +5% mobility in combat.

Vanna knew she should wear a helmet but after five decades of grey hair, she was willing to take the risks. At least her starting weapon was still useful.

~Steel Soldier’s Sword [1-Handed/2-Handed] (Durability: 80/85): Piercing Damage: 10-15, Slashing Damage 25-33

Vanna had browsed plenty of general stores and blacksmith shops since being in the game and knew the weapon cost somewhere in the four to five gold range. But besides her weapon, armor, and canteen she was dropped into the game with little else.

Her tutorial quest chain gave her two choices; either join an army or a bandit group. After a month with the former, she didn’t think there was much difference between the two. Instead of liberating each newly conquered village her company would loot, pillage, and too often rape the inhabitants. The longer she was in the game the more she came to believe what the NPCs were feeling was real. At first, she was disgusted, not just with her fellow soldiers but with the game itself, but she had no choice. It was here or back in the real world stuck in a coma. Soon enough she came to wonder why, when the developers could make a world so real they chose to make it a hell rather than heaven. In her old life, Vanna believed in God but had the same convictions. She knew seemingly unjust suffering is what led many people away from religion but she always managed to hold on by also seeing the good in the world. But for most of her time in the game, she failed to see any good.

The evils she witnessed were what led her to desert her army, that and the awfully low pay. But soon her money pouch ran dry and she hopped from city to city, relying on the charity and hospitality of monasteries to survive, looking for someone to hire her as a mercenary.

Vanna grinned as she remembered the first time she met Jason. He couldn’t have looked more like a player if he tried. Then he still had the disbelief in his eyes that deep down, he saw the NPCs as no more than code, with digital tears. She always wondered how many players she encountered without even noticing it. After a while she came to believe most players, if they chose to stay in the game, blended in with the NPCs and only revealed their true existence to those close to them. She saw this in Jason and herself, neither of them had revealed they were players to even Eliza.

She sighed and pushed her memories and thoughts from her head and focused on the forest around her. If it weren’t for Juno she would have gone off the main road and trudged through the trees the entire way. “Good girl,” Vanna cooed as she stroked the pony’s mane. Her recovery had been surprisingly fast. Vanna pulled a hard apple from her pocket and let Juno nibble on it. The mare had handled Vanna’s weight fine that morning and Vanna was impressed. She didn’t want to push her too hard and risk injuring the animal, so she was done riding Juno for the day.

A little over an hour later they reached Vanna’s first trial. Once she saw the road begin to bend before her, the hairs on Vanna’s neck began to rise. “Damn it, Jason,” she muttered again but kept moving. She knew exactly where to go. Every time she and Jason passed through the forest at the exact same location Skippy brayed frightfully. She was never sure if Jason noticed, but the kid (Vanna thought of anyone younger than seventy as a kid) was already white in the face every time they went through the woods so it was hard to see how he could have shown anymore fear if he knew what they were walking by.

Most of the trees were on their last leg of shedding their leaves but that didn’t matter, Vanna was looking for a pine sapling. Juno brayed before Vanna found the pine, she always knew animals, digital or not, had a sixth sense. “Shhh girl,” she said calming down the pony then moved to tie her reins to a log. Juno stomped anxiously but Vanna moved on.

She spotted the pine just of the road and ducked nervously into the brush. After a few steps, the stench punched her and her stomach riled. Vanna’s eyes began to tear but instead of turning she quickened her pace. When she saw the base of the pine she knew it hadn’t been disturbed by animals, but that didn’t make her want to see it anymore.

The night before her sleep was restless as she tried to decide on the best way to confront Eliza. It wasn’t until that morning she figured it out, and all it took was remembering her own husband.

Almost an additional foot of leaves had fallen onto the spot since they left it but she was now quickly shoveling them away. Every second passing was like another dash in a sprint, her willpower was draining faster and faster.

Finally, she saw the first signs and turned and hurled. Vanna gagged but wiped the remnants of throw up from her lips. The animals may not have gotten the spot, but the creatures of the ground did. A moment that could have been ten seconds or ten hours, it didn’t matter to Vanna, went by until she found what she was searching for. She leaped up from the ground, did one quick swoop to cover the hole she dug then ran out from the trees. She pocketed the item then crouched and held onto her knees, gasped for air, and finally cried.

*****

It took a little bit of wandering but Vanna eventually found Eliza’s old homestead. Ponies aren’t as hardy as donkeys, and Juno wined the entire time they pushed through the brush. When they finally broke out into the clearing, Juno snorted then knelt down and relaxed.

“Sorry, girl,” Vanna said slightly sarcastically but hoping she hadn’t overstrained the animal. She looked fine so Vanna patted her and moved on.

At a glance, the compound looked untouched, but a fresh set of fallen leaves could hide many things. The door to the house was closed but unlocked so Vanna went inside. Like outside, the indoors also seemed to be frozen in time. In the hearth was little more than black char, but Vanna dipped her hand.

Still warm, Vanna thought surprised. Her gut had told her this was where Eliza would go but it was reassuring to have solid evidence of the fact. All I have to do now is wait. Besides the hearth, there was only one other hint that someone had been in the house recently, the neatly made bed. Sweet Eliza, Vanna thought then reached in her pocket to make sure the item was still there. It was.

Back outside, Juno had made her way to the metal retaining dish under the well. The puddle was shallow but enough for the animal’s tongue to lap up a few sips. Vanna cranked the handle a few times and filled up the trough for Juno.

“Don’t wander off now,” Vanna said to Juno. The pony snorted as if in recognition but continued to drink. Vanna found a comfy pile of leaves and took a nap.

*****

When she woke up she was relieved to see it was still light out. She never understood how Jason quickly adapted to waking early like all the NPCs, she always needed someone to wake her up in the morning. Vanna blamed it on his youth.

Vanna was also surprised by a notification that said her relationship had increased with Juno to 'comfortable'. Whatever that means, Vanna thought. She always assumed she and the pony were getting on fine, she didn’t need some system to recognize that. The next notification told her that Juno learned the ‘Stay’ command which explained why the pony hadn’t runoff. What angered Vanna was the system telling her Juno could only learn a set number of commands. I’ve been breaking horses my entire life, she grieved herself, I taught the spiciest mustangs to sit with their legs crossed. I can teach a damn pony whatever I like. She shut out the notifications and watched Juno. The pony was grazing on some grass by the pig pens where the least amount of leaves had fallen.

She’d needed to hide the pony by the time night came and figured she'd coop her in the pigpen. Vanna got up and stretched then went to inspect the pens. It would be tight but if Juno laid down she’d be comfortable and more importantly warm.

The last few hours of daylight passed by in a savory slug. Vanna spent the time scrolling through pictures from her past life on her player screen. William, her grandson, had set it all up for her before she entered the game. She had a collection, sprawling in the thousands, of photographs, an instant messaging program, and a video calling feature. In the beginning, she had called her family almost every day but that had slowly faded as she accepted this world more as her own. The time disparity wasn’t an issue as the game put her in the equivalent of a logout when she was called and she was sent to a room similar to the blue player creation room where time progressed equally to that outside the game. William told her most players didn’t bother with the feature as if they needed to tell someone on the outside something they would just leave the game, but that option wasn’t available to Vanna. In addition, it was akin to a cellphone plan and cost her a decent amount of real-world money every month, but she had plenty of money back on earth and what was she to spend it on in a coma besides medical bills.

Vanna tended to make her calls at night to speed along in-game time but what she cherished most was the photo library. The collection constantly expanded as her family sent her more every couple of days and many nights she found herself just flipping through time until the sun came up. She lingered on the early pictures of her and her husband before they had kids the most but she cherished them all.

As the sun began to set, Vanna tucked Juno into the pigpen then headed towards Finchead. She wanted to watch Eliza to be certain she was the one traveling to the homestead in the night.

By the time she made it to the edge of the forest, all she could see were the torches and hearths in Finchead. An hour passed before Vanna saw one of those light break off from the rest and grow larger as it approached the woods. The light looked like it was going to continue on the road through the forest so Vanna moved to hide a dozen feet off the path.

All of Vanna’s focus was on the flame as it slowly but consistently approached the forest. Every second the presence of the forest and the oppressive coldness of the night were replaced more and more by the anticipation of who bore the light. The light moved closer and closer, step by step until finally, it stopped just feet from the forest’s entrance. The light settled and Vanna could see it was Eliza holding the torch. Vanna breathed a sigh of relief then continued to watch as quietly as she could.

For a long moment, Eliza simply stood and stared at the mouth of the forest. Vanna knew it was no more than a black void but she wondered what Eliza saw. Finally, the woman entered the forest and Vanna waited for her to get a safe distance before she began to trail Eliza.

The light led her back to the compound and all Vanna could pray for was that Juno stayed quiet long enough. Vanna stayed out of the clearing as she watched Eliza walk around the compound. Aimlessly at first, then to the spot where she had tortured the two bandits, and finally into the house. Vanna had been careful to shut the door and leave the inside exactly as she’d left it. Eliza was a smart girl and would notice any changes. The hard part was how Vanna would make her grand entrance.

Eliza shut the door behind her, presumably to keep out the cold, and Vanna let what felt like fifteen minutes pass and she couldn’t detect any signs that Eliza was going to come back outside. There weren’t any windows on the building but from the crack under the doorway, Vanna could see a thin line of light signaling Eliza had relit the hearth.

Vanna knew knocking on the door was too dangerous and could think of only one way to draw Eliza out of the house casually. Vanna waited a few more minutes then moved quietly to the outdoor firepit the bandits had tried to roast one of the pigs over. The pig had been taken down at some point, presumably by Eliza or some animals. Dry wood was scattered all around the property but for now, she moved some dry leaves into the stone circle and used a set of flint and steel to light a kindling fire. In the weak and dying light, she found some twigs by her feet and threw those and some more leaves into the pile. Now she could see and stacked some logs in, which was when the rusty hinges of the door creaked.

Vanna didn’t turn but continued her task. At first, there was no movement but eventually, Vanna could hear the crunch of leaves under feet nearing her.

“Here,” Eliza’s sweet voice said.

Vanna turned to the woman and used all her strength not to cry. She took the log Eliza offered and placed it in the fire. For the next few minutes, the women worked to build up the fire to a roaring blaze then sat silently on a log next to each other.

“I’m sorry,” Eliza whispered.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Vanna said.

“You’re kind to worry about me. Jason too,” she added. “But,” she hesitated, “you don’t understand.”

Vanna looked down at her left hand. The same hand she looked to every morning when she woke up for the last sixty years. She still looked at it every morning in the game even though there wasn’t anything there. Old habits never die.

Vanna reached out with the left arm and squeezed Eliza’s hand. “Oh child,” she said choking up, “but I do.”

“No,” Eliza yelled surprising Vanna enough to get her to jump back. Eliza’s face flushed and she calmed herself, “sorry Vanna, but you don’t. You don’t understand and how could you.”

“Eliza I’ve buried a husband.” Eliza's face lit up in shock.

“How…how old…” she mumbled but never finished.

“It’s the worst thing I ever had to do and I still miss him. It took a while but I moved on,” Vanna said. All Eliza could do was cry.

“I…I know he’s…” but she couldn’t say it. “But it's hard Vanna.”

“I know child,” she said and hugged the girl. Vanna’s heart began to race and she knew the next few moments could change everything. “Eliza listen to me,” Vanna said pulling away and straightening up. “I should have told you from the start,” Vanna hesitated. “Jason and I know where your husband is.”

“What?” Eliza whispered confused. “Ho…how?”

Slowly Vanna retold the story of the first time she and Jason entered the woods. “He was gone before we even got there, but we buried him. We should have told you as soon as we put two and two together but I guess we didn’t want to shock you anymore. It was a mistake.”

Eliza remained silent. Her tears had dried up and she stared at the ground.

Vanna reached into her pocket, “I went back to where we buried him today and brought you this.” Vanna pulled out a wedding band. “Here.”

Eliza looked at the ring then slowly took it from Vanna.

“After my husband died, I wore his ring. It helped me to move on but also remember him.”

Eliza slipped the ring onto her finger, it was slightly big but didn’t slide off. She looked at the ring then smiled back a tear, “thank you, Vanna. I understand why you waited to tell me. It still feels unreal.” She cried again.

Vanna pulled her into a hug and cooed, “it will be alright.”

“But Vanna,” Eliza whispered, “promise me you’ll take me there one day. When I’m ready.”

“I promise, child.”