I stare over the edge of Barabar at the clouds below, wondering if it would be possible to get some more of that happy liquid. I'd probably have to sneak away from Joule the next time she used a physical form, but I'd have to do it before we reached the city.

Alice leans her arms on the banister next to me, startling me somewhat. I hadn't heard her approaching at all.

"Looking for Xylphys?"

I check over the edge again. Nope. Still just a blanket of clouds, with nothing visible underneath them.

[There wouldn't be much point.]

She chuckles, turning around and leaning her back against the railing, sighing deeply. "Can I tell you something?"

I sense a strange tone in her voice, and I feel uncertain about it.

[...Yes.]

She stares at the pool in the center of Barabar, her fur gently rippling in the wind. "When I was a kid, fhuma weren't quite as... accepted as they used to be."

[What's a fhuma?]

Alice chuckles. "Me. You. Pretty much anything that isn't a pure race, like a dwarf or a human." I nod in realization, though I don't fully understand the purpose of separating species so indistinctly.

[Continue.]

She takes a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't - I've never really told anyone this, okay? The only reason I'm telling you is because you don't judge anything or anyone."

I turn my full attention to her. This sounds as though it's going to be important.

"Anyway, as I was saying. When I was a kid, I used to live in the alleys of Careolis. I know you don't know where that is, or even what that is, but - just imagine a bunch of stuffy people ignoring everyone lower in status than themselves."

[So, an anthill full of queens.]

It pulled a small, sad laugh from her. "Yeah, that's a way to put it. It was just me and Barkley for a long time. He was another fhuma like me, and boy was he optimistic. Where I'd try to hide from the guards, he'd make friends with them. We were a pretty good team, even though we went hungry most of the time."

She pauses, and seems unwilling to continue. Nudging her, I ask tentatively, [What happened?]

Alice sighs, and the fight in her body language dissipates. "He was just gone one day. A few days later, guards started poking around my alleys. It doesn't take a genius to realize they killed him. They cornered me, and I killed three of them with my bare hands. I thought I was a goner after that, but Barabar was making a stop nearby and I managed to get on board. I basically was raised here."

I pull some air into my mouth and release it quietly in a sigh. I'm surprised that I know exactly what I want to say, even though it would likely break my attempts at staying distant. [I don't have very many friends. The only one I can honestly say I'm close to is Joule, and that's because I've learned all of my abilities from her. She's been with me ever since Noah modified me, and I can't imagine living without her. I don't know - maybe I'd call Noah a friend? He's really unpredictable but consistent at the same time. It's hard to describe.]

Alice is looking at me with some surprise. I've never spoken this much before. [My life really hasn't been very long so far, so I don't have the experiences you have, but I can't imagine Joule disappearing, or Noah dying. I mean, I'm not sure Noah can die, but what I'm trying to say is that I kind of get it. I'm really sorry to hear about Barkley. I hope you find out what happened to him.]

We were both quiet for a moment, just watching the carpet of clouds float underneath us. Alice smiles and starts walking away. "Thanks, Null. I really needed to get that off my chest."

[No problem.]

Baby runs over, grinning. "Hey, guys! We're getting really close to Xylphys - we should be there in a few hours!" He sees Alice's face and pauses. "What'd I miss?"

[Don't worry about it. Thanks for telling us we're close.]

As Alice and Baby walk away, chatting with each other, I ask Joule a critical question, one I never thought I'd ask.

[Should I really join the Lymphadra colony?]

She's quiet for a long, long moment.

[It's up to you.]

I'm not sure I can make that decision.