This is a terribly terrible idea.

Making my way back to the glade wasn't hard in the slightest since I've gone this path three times before. Even so, walking it in a human form is... refreshing. I'm not quite as tall as I used to be, but compared to the goblin or the mini-wizard, I'm much closer to my original height.

Sure, walking to the village was nowhere as fast as it was to fly, but it still felt quite nice. That is, if I kept the thought that this body was not mine out of my head. Man, this is-, this is kind of messed up, right? Just sticking out of their neck like some kind of tick.

And man, I hate ticks. Nasty little buggers, we threw them in the furnace, we did.

Before I've even noticed it, I'm standing at the edge of the glade, feet rooted in place. Uh. Um. I should-, I should move. I know this isn't my body, but, like, move? Feet? Come on, get moving! Stop just-,,

In the distance, by the village, I notice someone. A single person is mulling about, glancing out into the forest as if in search of someone. The sun only rose a few minutes ago. Who could possibly-,

He notices me. I realize he noticed me because his whole body perked up, and he broke out into a little half-jog towards me. Once he arrives, wheezing and huffing, I recognize him fully. It the mini-wizard.

"Oh, Mister! There you are, you've been out all night! Really had me worried there, but I'm glad you're alright. Must have been quite the battle, huh? Nobody else was awake, but I saw that fireball! Didn't know you knew that spell, but... Must have been quite the enemy! And all in your nightgown, heh!"

Without thinking, I slowly nod, not sure how to respond and if I even can respond in any other way. His brows furrow together, and he goes silent for a second, as if expecting some answer from me. When he gets none, he just continues.

"Well, uh, I've been out here looking for you all night, so I haven't made breakfast just yet, but, well, let's go back home and I'll make us something to celebrate your victory, alright?"

I nod again, and he smiled a thin smile before grabbing a hold of my hand to lead me to the village. I let him, partially to uphold my persona, and partially since feeling is believing, and right now, I believe there's someone who might just accept me. Maybe.

Once we pass that tall stump, I feel some weight on my shoulder lifting, some weight I hadn't even noticed was there at all. The village comes closer, and I get a better look at it than before, the red wooden walls and the sundial in the middle and the large house that probably no one lives in. This is a good place. Cosy and huddled and good. If I was allowed to live here, I would do so without regrets.

Sure, I'd love to live just about anywhere that has people, but this place looks really neat. Just sitting out here, out of sight, out of mind.

We reach the tall house, the one the wizard lives in, and the mini-wizard turns around to face me, his eyes worried as they traverse the body I've borrowed.

"...Are you sure you're alright? That was quite a big battle, if you don't feel well-,"

I vigorously shake my head, quieting him. He stares at me, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

This has gone on too far. I'm not here to replace this old guy, I'm here to convince them that I'm no threat. Keeping up this charade does more harm than good.

"I'm not him," I say, staring straight into his eyes.

"Wh-, what-?"

"I have borrowed his body to talk to you, to convince you that I mean you no harm," I say, speaking slowly and clearly. His eyebrows scrunch up and I can clearly tell how his mind is starting to process what I said.

"-You fiend!" he says, jerking his hand out of mine, "it is you, villain! I should have known not even Fa-, Mister Brobdingnag would be enough to send you running home, tail between your legs, no! I told them as much, but did they listen? Oh no, they went on and on about 'better safe than sorry', but I knew you'd appear, you filthy sock-puppet! And here you are, standing before me in the body of my only family, taunting me!"

"-I'm afraid I'm not quite following-,"

"Oh, you need not speak a word. Unlike my friends, I hardly believe you our enemy, however, when they see what you have done, I doubt their hearts will be calm."

Behind us, the door to one of the many houses creaks open, a familiar face peering out. Antonio! The one person here I know the name of! I had almost started to doubt I saw him at all!

"Esteemed hunter! Alert the others, we have an enemy among us!" the mini-hunter called. The man in question muttered something before stepping out, clothed in a lax pajamas. In his hand, he held a horn of the hunting variety. With no further words, he put the horn to his lips, and blew.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO" it sounded, and at the noise, almost every door around us opened up, some quicker than others. Most people didn't have anything, especially not the children, but the hunters all had their weapons.

"What is going on? Antonio-, no, Mal, what in the world is happening?" the warrior asks, who was pretty much naked except for a pair of boxers and his trusty sword.

"The fiend, our enemy-turned-friend-turned-enemy has returned!" the mini-wizard replied, pointing an accusing finger to myself. The warrior seemed confused, a deep frown embedding itself onto his face as he surveyed the village.

"...I don't see anything."

"No, you fool, it's Mister! He's taken Mister's body!"

"Hey, no need to call me foul names! And I don't under-, oh. Oh, oh no. Tell me he hasn't-,"

"I'm sorry to say that I have," I interjected, hoping to become less of an enemy and more of a person to have a conservation with. The warrior turned to me, his confusion only deepening, with an added tint of mutiny to it.

"You-,, Johnny?..."

"...The very one."

If a man could look more disappointed, he would have to be disappointed in God himself. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the warrior put down his sword, embedding it in the dirt.

"Johnny, did we not-,"

"You did, but I'm here to persuade you again. Whatever I did last time to incur suspicion, I will now undo. I don't know who the-, the devil you spoke of is. I have nowhere to return to."

"Look, Johnny, sure, but-,, can you just get out of Mister Brobdingnag's body? And maybe then we can talk?"

I look down at the body I'm in, the old and wrinkly hands, brittle and yet strong.

"-This is the only way for me to speak. Without this, I am but a lowly monster, easy to be chased out. This shouldn't be a battle, but if it is," I glance up at them, my eyes more hesitant than they should be, "I will not lose."

The warrior recoils, and glances around at the other villagers. Everybody but the hunters seem confused, unsure and scared. To them, I'm sure this wizard I inhabit is nothing but a senile old wizard. They don't know anything about this, or why I'm acting like this. The only ones who know anything are the hunters, the ones with the weapons.

The warrior knows this as well as I do.

"...Everyone, put down your weapons."

"But-,, Gautier-! He just strode right in here like he owns the place, and he thinks we'll just accept him without a fight??"

"Grenouille, not now. He spoke the truth, even if we fought him, without Mister Brobdingnag, we're just a bunch of third-rate phoney adventurers."

"...!" the archer made a strange sound, but he couldn't say anything. The warrior was right. In a show of strength beyond the physical, the arched put down his bow, and the other hunters followed. Once this finished, Antonio took a step forwards.

"Now, if I may ask, what in the ever-loving shitbag is goin' on?" he asked, still holding the horn.

"A monster is trying to join the village," the healer said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, sure, so why're we talkin' to the wizard?" Antonio asked, pointing straight at me.

"I'm only borrowing this body to speak with you. I truly mean no harm, unlike what you might think."

Antonio stares at me, nose scrunched and eyes squinting in that "are you shitting me?" way that I always imagined he was capable of. He then proceeds to make a couple of movements between the hunters and I, as if searching for some way to express the tied-up words in his head.

"-This is some bullshit right here. Hey, elf boy, did the wizard send out a quest before this all went south?"

The mini-wizard seems surprised at being called out, but he quickly pulls himself together and closes his eyes in thought.

"Hmm, yeah, he did say something last night about a 'quest has been sent', but I'm not sure if it has been accepted yet. Even if it did get accepted, what kind of heroic adventurer could arrive here within a night?"

"Why, only the most heroic and kind one of all, of course!"