The donkey quivered, shaking like it had a bad case of donkey Parkinson’s disease and muttering disgruntled hee-haws to itself like it was writing a donkish dissertation on being terrified.

The light in the storage bunker was dim, lit only by small cracks in the hacked together wooden walls that let in faint light from the fathomless beyond.

The donkey was the only live animal in the bunker, though there was a friendly looking taxidermied toucan that had been keeping fine imaginary company. Together the two had gleamed that there were skinned cadavers hanging upside down in the cooling closet a few feet away.

CREEEEEAK

The donkey’s eyes burned as light flooded the room and two familiar figures trudged into the storage bunker. One was smoking a long cigar that almost looked like five cigarettes taped together.

“Look, cap’n, aye’m sick of this damn ass filling up our storage bunker!”

The donkey blinked, raising its head.

“Aye mean, look at how much space this ass is taking up!”

The donkey snorted.

“Blitsy me boy, aye don’t care much fer yer vitchin’. Even if that ass is huge aye don’t need ye to complaing to be about it! Aye’ve got bigger responsibilities than huge asses, unfortunately.”

The donkey rested its head cautiously, side eyeing the taxidermied toucan.

“Cap’n, it’s just, aye mean, Avast! If aye’d of known that ass was so thicc aye would’ve thought a little more about what aye did with it.”

“It’s quite alrightedy-beesms, me hood lad! Aye’d of done somethin’ the similar meself were aye wearing yer foot coverin’s. Course aye’m not, and hen, who knows, maybe aye wouldn’t. Anyhowsits what aye’m tryin’ to tell ye is not knowing how teh deal with such a huge ass is understandable, though a little dissappointing.”

They were interrupted by the snorting of a chunky dog. A Caldonian Bulldog.

“Michael, leave us alone.”

Michael walked up to the donkey and sniffed in its face, covering the donkey in grimy dog mucus. Then, Michael growled, haunces engaged.

“Michael! Stop sniffing that ass! Leave that ass alone, Michael, leave it!”

Michael eventually left it.

“Well, Cap’n, do ye happ’n to have any advice on how aye might go around properly handling this ass?”

“Think over it for a few days. By the end of the week, if ye haven’t made yer mind up, aye’ll throw ye and yer lame ass right off the side of the ship!”

Blitzy regarded the donkey.

“Cap’n, aye don’t think it’s lame. The ass is definitely stinky, though.”

“Aye, matey. One of the stinkiest asses aye’ve ever laid me ayes upon.”