VIII – How screwed am I?

Previously on ‘Glitch’:

Edward is pregnant and GEO is the father! Ha! Did I get you? That was a trick to test your attention!

The Sprites--mysterious D&Desque monsters who exist to eliminate those that abuse glitches--are passionate about ruining Edward’s life! They attacked in the school bathroom and the fight that came after trashed the whole place! Guess who will be blamed for this? - Edward, of course!

Now our hero is facing two troubles: the Sprites that are trying to kill him AND his mom, who will probably succeed at killing him if she has to pay for all the property damage.

Let’s watch and see how things get even worse!

-| Glitch - |

“Please hear me, Ms. Taylor,” pleaded Adela. She talked to the school’s principal while Edward sat outside the office. He sat on an old bench and listened to her discussion through the door’s breach.

The girl continued, “Edward did not mean bad! I am sure he is not entirely responsible! Also, his parents just went through a divorce and they cannot pay the repairs. Please don’t sue them!”

Elizabeth, Thief Queen, heard the girl’s defense. “Is she going to be a lawyer?” she asked, speaking inside Edward’s head. “I think she might even convince granny.”

“Adela wants to be one, just like me. But with our grades, it likely won’t happen,” he remarked, scratching the back of his head. “Could we talk about the elephant in the room now? Just for a moment?”

“What is it?” resisted the woman, as if she avoided her embarrassment.

“Why do you gotta make those creepy mean speeches every time? I think they will never believe I was not on anything!”

“Don’t be so loud. Someone might see that you are talking to yourself and you’ll end up even worse.”

“But did we get those Sprites out of the way, at least?

“No, they are four and they are still all around the school,” she replied, thoughtful.

“What? So that was all for nothing?”

“I fear we might have fallen into a trap,” she snorted. “It was either getting embarrassed in front of the whole school or having Sprites slit your wrists. These bloody things know exactly what they are doing.”

“You sound like you never had problems with them,” remarked Edward. “I thought all Glitchers had trouble with these things.”

“It’s not an issue when you’re constantly moving around and when you are strong enough to keep the weak Sprites away. They seem to be a bloody plague when you have a social life, though.”

“What am I gonna do now? It’s impossible to live like this.”

“First, calm down. Second, I’ve saved your life. It could be much worse. My concern is that they have the upper hand for now—”

Loud steps echoed across the hallway. “They are coming again?” asked Edward.

“No, it’s Macro,” said Elizabeth. “Isn’t he your best friend, toothpick? I must say, he has good taste for watches—”

“Oh, I brought his watch back,” said Edward, standing up from the bench and yanking Macro’s golden watch from the pocket.

“—what are you doing, toothpick?” protested Elizabeth. “That is my treasure, not yours!”

The punk walked down the hallway pretending that he read a document. He used papers to conceal the injuries and swellings that dotted his face after the confrontation with Brandon and the Cubs.

Edward rose his voice, “Macro? Is that you?”

Macro ignored him. Yet he could not see what was ahead through the documents—and he was still dizzy from the beating that he took. Yet he risked a response, “I dunno who this Macro i—”

He tripped on the floor and the papers sprung from his hands. “Damn it, my chest,” bemoaned the punk as he struggled to stand up.

Edward crouched to help him. “Damn it, Macro. I know you are hurt. There is no need to hide your f—”

He saw Macro’s face. The result of his meeting with the Cubs was not pretty. He had more swellings than skin. The punk looked as if he kept an entire box of chocolates in his mouth, similar to how a hamster does with its sunflower seeds.

Edward burst off laughing. “I’m so sorry!” pleaded the boy, shedding tears of joy. “I swear I don’t wanna laugh, but it’s too funny!”

“Listen here!” Macro grabbed the boy by the shirt and rose him off his feet. “One more laugh and I’ll ¨$&%*$ make you regret helping me, you hear?”

“I’m sorry, I“—he showed the golden watch to the punk—”this was yours, right?”

“M-My grandma’s watch!” said Macro, dropping Edward. He became calmer as he saw his reflection on the watch’s surface.

Edward smiled, “I cleaned up and fixed it for you—”

“Sure. You are the specialist in clocks here. Not me,” remarked Elizabeth, sarcastically.

“—it’s fresh a new now. Wear it,” he gave the watch to Macro, “it tells the time now—”

Macro wept.

Edward recoiled. “Y-You are crying?” he asked.

“I’m not, I”—Macro wiped the tears from his face and swallowed his agony—“why would you think that, huh?” he snorted.

“Never mind,” resigned Edward. “This watch really seems very important to you.”

“My grandma used to say that when she came to America, her family only had that watch. Everything else was taken…”

“Tito, right?”

He nodded, continuing, “So when the mansion burned and my parents died, she gave it to me as a reminder that I could lose everything, but not my history. So if my family went from a single watch to being filthy rich, I could do it too,” he faltered. “Or something like that. It’s been a while since she passed. It sounds bad, but I can’t tell the whole lesson anymore.”

Elizabeth conceded, “He doesn’t seem that dumb, although he makes an effort for us to think that.”

Macro blushed. He continued, “You’ve done some serious &%¨$% for me, Eddy. If you need something, just call me out,” he said with a funny taste in his mouth. He felt as if he had never tasted those words in his mouth before.

“I’ll keep that in mind!” said Edward, smiling.

“But don’t abuse it!”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

“Also,” the punk faltered, looking away. “If it ain’t asking much, I got a question…”

“What?”

“Was I going crazy or did you knock two people out on the basketball court—”

The principal’s door opened. Adela walked out with a smile on her face. She had a document between the hands and news at the tip of her tongue. “Done! You are saved,” she said, giving Edward a piece of paper. “You just gotta show up after class every night until forever to help clean the school up.”

“Thank you so much, Adela!” he said, reading the document and confirming what she said.

The girl glanced at Macro. The swellings on his face disgusted her.

“Sup,” said the punk.

Edward rose his sights and noticed that his two friends met each other for the first time. “Oh, yeah”—he coughed—“I forgot to introduce you guys. Adela, Macro. Macro, Adela.”

She grabbed Edward’s arm. “Please stay away from him!” she said, facing the punk.

Macro rolled his eyes, put his hands in his pockets and entered the principal’s room. “Whatever,” he snorted.

Adela swung her head left and right as the man distanced himself. “Please stay away from this Macro guy,” she told Edward.

“You shouldn’t be so harsh on him, you know? I think he’s trying to turn things around. Something tells me he’s not in the Cubs anymore.”

“We can talk about this on the way. Let’s go home now?” she asked. “I’m scared to go alone. It’s dark already.”

“Lead the way.”

They walked through the school’s hallways. The girl twirled her hair and rambled about her romantic life:

“I think it’s really not working out with Brad. Sometimes I feel like he just cares about showing me off to his friends as if I’m some sort of prize. He is also very touchy. We went to see a movie in the outdoor cinema last weekend, but he just kept trying to grab me. I was so busy pushing him off that I couldn’t watch the movie. What does he think that I am?” she ranted. “I got angry and threatened to walk out. He just laughed, called me the b-word, yanked my popcorn and told me to go home by foot—and not make much noise as I left so that I’d not disturb his movie. Can you believe that?”

“And you walked out, right?” asked Edward, hopeful.

“Of course not!”

“I figured…”

“Enjoy her company while you can, toothpick,” remarked Elizabeth. “She’s clearly too pretty to be your friend. It’s a matter of time before she becomes one of the cool kids. You will be left only with Macro and that fat ginger kid who squeaks when he eats.”

Adela and Edward passed by a girl whose face was dark with grease. She wore full baseball attire.

“Hey, Eddy. Hey, Brad’s girlfriend,” said the girl in baseball attire as she toyed with a baseball, “I found the school’s old baseball equipment. Anyone wanna be my batter?”

“I have a name, you know?” Adela snorted

Edward smiled and waved his arm. “I think we’ll pass, Karina,” he replied. “But shouldn’t you go home now? It’s getting late. Wanna join us?”

Elizabeth recoiled. “Toothpick, why are you inviting this other girl? Did you fall on your head when you were a kid or are you naturally this bloody stupid—”

“Home is for the weak!” replied Karina, confident.

“—what a relief.”

“Carry on, then,” said Edward, grinning.

He and Adela reached the school’s exit. Chicago’s smell of trash and smog filled their lungs.

The girl rose her voice, “so why didn’t you show up to the test yesterday? I wanted to talk about the Skulls’ heist.”

“It’s sort of a complicated answer, and I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you,” bargained Edward. “Not even I believe it sometimes.”

“Of course I would believe in you. You never lie to me!” said Adela, squeezing his cheek. “You are my cute little honest friend.”

“Friend…” Faltered Edward. That word had a sour taste in his mouth.

“So what happened yesterday?” she insisted. “I wanna know.”

“Well, I woke up with a metal thing in my—”

Loud car honks interrupted his explanations. “Babe! Adela!” shouted a jock from inside his convertible. “Get in, babe, hurry up!” he said, opening the car’s door.

Edward squeezed his eyes and noticed yellow lines painted on the sidewalk near the car. “I think he’s blocking the ramp for the disabled,” he said.

Yet Adela forgot that the boy existed. “Brad, you were waiting for me?” she asked the jock, her eyes shining like jewels.

“Hell no, babe,” Brad replied, glancing at a bouquet of flowers on the passenger seat of his car, “this flower is my new girlfriend. We just hanging.”

“You brought me flowers!” said Adela as she ran to the vehicle and yanked his gift from the seat.

“Hop in”—Brad wore his sunglasses—“I’m taking you home.”

Edward scowled at the offer. “Adela, wait,” he pleaded, glancing at the girl, “he did not even apologize.”

She faltered as she heard his voice. The memories of why she was upset with Brad struck her. She rested the flowers on the seat and walked back.

“No, I’m not going with you, Brad,” she said. “Edward will take me home. Won’t you, Eddy?”

“Of course I will—”

Brad pressed the car’s pedals. The honk of the convertible’s motor was like a fine serenade for Adela. “Babe, I’m sorry, okay?” conceded the jock. “You were acting up and I had to do something. Now hop in and quit with the crap. I even put on your &$¨%$ song,” he said as he turned up the radio volume. “Our song.”

Verses of music burst off the car’s sound boxes, “And I swear by the moon and stars in the sky. I’ll be there—”

Edward swung his head left and right. “I don’t think he’s really apologizing…”

“—I swear like the shadow that is by your side. I’ll be there,” the radio continued as Brad moved his lips and gestured as if he sang the song for a bewitched Adela. The music was like the singing of a siren, enchanting the girl and convincing her to enter his car.

The girl lost her air. She had hearts in her irises.

Edward rolled the eyes. “Adela!” he said, shaking her shoulders, hoping to break the spell. “Adela, I’m talking to you—”

“Look straight, Edward,” intervened Elizabeth.

He lost his air. He saw four Sprites facing him from the windows of the apartment buildings that surrounded the school. The reflection of Adela’s neck colored their blades.

“You wanna know what?” Edward resigned. “Go with Brad, Adela.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, confused.

“Yeah. Just go. I’ll stay and play some baseball with Karina,” he said, facing the baseballer girl.

Karina’s eyes shined. “Really? You’ll play with me?” she asked, approaching him.

“Yeah,” replied Edward, trying his best not to have a psychotic attack. “Leaving Adela with her jerk ex-boyfriend while I go play baseball will be super fun!”

“Yes, it will! Now if only I could find a catcher…”

Edward glanced at the road and saw that the Sprites crossed the street and neared the school. He sweated, nervous. “Maybe we can call”—he noticed Macro leaving the building—”Macro!”

The punk recoiled. “Me what?”

“You are the catcher!”

Macro grabbed Edward by his shirt. “What are you implying, dude?” snorted the man, blushing. Veins pumped on his forehead.

“Y-You said you owed me one!”

“I thought like helping you out with some bags! Not with something like this!”

Karina hopped in excitement. “I’ll get the helmet ready for Macro!” she said, clasping her hands and running to the school’s old baseball yard.

The punk faltered. “Wait”—he dropped Edward—“you’re inviting me to play baseball?”

“Of course. What were you thinking?”

“Nothing,” replied Macro, blushing. “I’ll play with you guys, but I can’t stay for long.”

Edward smiled, satisfied with the tiny team that he had quickly assembled. “See, Adela? You can go now,” he said. “I’m covered—”

The boy coughed. The smoke of Brad’s speeding convertible filled his lungs. Adela had gotten in the jock’s car and they left without saying ‘goodbye’.

Edward’s grin collapsed. “Elizabeth, why didn’t you tell me that she had left?” he mumbled, crestfallen.

“Mostly for comedic purposes. And also”—her voice deepened—“because of the Sprites. Get moving now.”

The boy looked back and saw a gang of four armed anthropomorphic toads approaching him.

“Let’s go play now,” he said out loud.

The Sprites stalked the Edward as he followed Karina on her way to the school’s abandoned baseball field. Elizabeth analyzed the situation:

“Now that you have company, you can’t just turn into Thief King and let me deal with the problem.”

“You are right”—the boy glanced at Macro and Karina—“they’ll see if I change form. So what are we gonna do?” he asked, glancing at the four Sprites who walked after him. The entities were armed like an RPG group, carrying swords, shields, daggers, and rods. They did not move their lifeless stares away from Edward’s neck.

Elizabeth replied, “You shall fight them, not me. You’ll learn with me.”

He faltered, frowning at his thin arms and legs that were supposed to defeat four creatures from another realm. “Learn what?” he asked her, skeptical.

“You are the world’s dumbest Glitcher, Edward.”

Tables for the Table Gods:

Spoiler: Spoiler

Edward's Stat Cards:

Edward (Thief King Mode)'s Stat Card: