《Bardcore》27. General Dogsbody
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Micky rose on unsteady legs, each step threatening to send him back to the sand and dust of the training square. Ingunn had moved on to her own training, her feet set in a wide stance as they moved through a complicated pattern. Each step was paired with a measured beat of her wings, driving her forwards or to the side with speed and power. She moved as though she hadn’t just completed the same intense training as Micky. With one last glance over his shoulder at Ingunn Micky hobbled his way back into the reception area.
The thin o’rgimchak smiled as Micky walked in. “I see Miss Ingunn was most thorough in her training?”
“Mate, I’m not sure if that was training or she just really doesn’t like me” Micky replied with a grimace.
“Has she started training you with the practice swords yet?”
“No”
“Then trust me, she is rather fond of you. Several new inductees have decided not to take up a contract with us after being introduced to Miss Ingunn’s training”.
Micky gave a weak attempt at a smile. “Thank BLEEP for that. If that’s how she treats people she likes I’m like ninety percent sure I’d die if she disliked me.”
“I think you might just be right” the young man replied before smiling back at Micky. “If you would like I can take you to the changing rooms? A shower might refresh you before you meet with Algernon.”
“That would be brilliant mate, thanks.
Refreshed by the shower, and feeling at least partially human again, Micky walked back towards the reception area. As he crossed into the room he noticed the receptionist from earlier had been replaced by a grinning Algernon.
“Ay-up Micky, you don’t look nearly as dead as I reckoned you’d be” he gestured towards Micky.
“Cheers mate, I appreciate the vote of confidence. I’ll be honest that wasn’t what I thought I was coming for this morning.”
“Always good to start off right in the the deep end. If you’d up and BLEEPED off or decided not to train I’d know you weren’t gonna work out. Come into me office then and let’s get you squared away.”
Algernon’s office turned out to be a cramped wooden room, lined wall to wall with shelving. The shelves were laden with a dazzling array of items and trinkets. A heavy set of iron gauntlets and an obsidian war-hammer with a thick spike protruding from the base of the handle were mounted on hooks behind the desk. Micky was dying with curiosity about the room’s contents and he prepared to utilize Examine before Algernon gestured to the seat before his desk.
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“Pull up some bench Micky, let’s get the boring bits out the way” he said before pulling out a single page contract.
“Right, so the gist of it is this. You’re gonna be contracted to Ferric Recoveries, that’s me and mine, on a six month probationary term. We’ll get you trained and geared up, an you’ll get 4 gold a month as a stipend. You’ll also be entitled to one share of any salvage or discoveries that your team retrieve. The number of shares can shift about a bit from job to job depending on who’s involved an what needs doing. Before you ask any questions have a look through this, then ask away.”
The contract was written in simple terms and echoed what Algernon had explained. It seemed to Micky that while he was in Baer’s Landing he would be responsible for his own expenses, but in the field his crew boss would cover all the costs. There were also mechanisms for earning extra shares while on an expedition.
“This all looks amazing Algernon mate, but I’m still not totally sure what I would be doing for you? Asked Micky after he had examined the contract.
“You’ll be coming on board as an apprentice salvager. Which pretty much means you do whatever anyone else says. Your job is to learn how things work on an expedition while you train.”
“General dogsbody, I think I can deal with that” laughed Micky. “What happens after six months?”
“Me an the crew bosses will have a wee chat, see if it’s worth keeping you on. If you haven’t BLEEPED the bed too many times you should be reet as rain. We’ll as like as not have a chat with you about specialties and class upgrades too.”
“I’m in mate. You’ve got a new apprentice salvager, as long as Ingunn doesn’t kill me first.” Mickey grabbed the pen from Algernon's desk and signed the contract with a flourish.
“Aye, she’s a tough one is our Ingunn. You’ll be training with her in the mornings. Just keep your tongue clamped down tight an she’ll teach you well. I’ve got an ol’ mate who can teach you a few Bard abilities, he’ll be coming by in the afternoons.”
“This is everyday right? I’ll either be in shape or die trying.”
“Normally you’d have the time in between expeditions to yourself, the full members will either spend it with their families or at the pub, but we’re gonna use this time to get you up to speed.”
“That sounds more than a little ominous mate, I’m not gonna lie”
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“That just means your paying attention Micky. Reet, I’ve got work to do so BLEEP off and get some lunch in you. Bajni out there will show you a couple spots that sell lunch round here. Tell him he can expense it.”
Micky slipped out of the office and back in to the reception area, which was empty again save for the young o’rgimchak Micky now knew to be called Bajni.
“Hey Bajni, Algernon said you might know of a few places to get lunch? I could use some food after Ingunn near killed me.”
“Of course Micky, that’s not a problem. What’s your budget like?” The young man replied, placing his book back on the counter and standing up.
“Uh, Algernon said you could expense it, so that’s pretty much up to you mate.” All eight of Bajni’s eyes seemed to widen at the words ‘expense it’.
“I know just the place then Micky, please come with me. Two training sessions a day and a free lunch. Algernon either loves you or hates you.
Banji led Micky on the short walk back towards town, stopping at a small adobe building just before the bridge.
“Before we go in Micky, how do you feel about spicy food?” Banji asked, seriousness written across his face.
“I’m partial to the odd curry now and them mate. I don’t want it to blow my face off, but a little heat is good.”
“Excellent, then I believe you will enjoy Narasimhaan cuisine. Please do not be alarmed at the owner, Piyush may look somewhat alarming, but I assure you he is a soul of gentleness.”
“It’s not another ball of snakes is it? Those still do freak me out a bit” admitted Micky with a sheepish grin.
“Not at all, the Narasimha are humanoid in appearance, although some have compared them to large predatory cats.”
“Giant cats that love spicy food. Now I’m dead curious. Led the way Banji my man.”
The inside of the building was decorated with fragments of colored tile, set into the walls in flowing mosaics. The thick colors blended together seamlessly and reminded Micky of impressionist paintings he’d seen in a museum. At the far end of the room was an earthen oven, banked with low coals. Crouching over the entrance was a stout, heavily muscled man, how appeared human from the shoulders down, but rising from neck was a leonine mane and jaw. Eyes glowing in the reflected light from the fire he turned and smiled at Micky and Banji.
“Wagwan Banji man, ye come eat wi us today?” He asked with a fearsome smile towards them.
“It’s good to see you to Piyush, I’ve brought a new customer with me today as well” replied Banji, gesturing to Mickey. “How has business been?
“Eyah run though, bare quiet” Piyush replied, gesturing to the empty restaurant with a relaxed shrug.
“I’m sure it’ll pick up in no time my friend. In the meantime can we get two of the house specials?”
“Mi go get the plates dem”
Micky and Banji sat down on the low wooden cushions as Piyush busied himself around the oven, soon the smells of thyme and nutmeg filled the room along with more than a hint of chili.
“Banji mate, just how spicy is this going to be? My eyes are near watering just from the smells” Micky asked with a glance over at the oven.
“Only a little I assure you, I’ll order some yogurt as well though just in case. It helps to cut out the heat” replied Banji.
“That answer absolutely does not fill me with confidence.”
Before Micky could protest further Piyush laid two steaming plates before them. Thin skewers of minced meat covered in a fine dusting of spices on top of some kind of mashed root vegetable.
“unu a guy fi it den” Piyush said with a flourish before wandering back to the kitchen, returning with two glasses of drinking yoghurt.
“Thank you kindly my friend, it looks amazing as always.”
Micky took a tentative bite from one of the skewers, finding it surprisingly sweet with only a hint of spice.
“I was wrong Banji mate, this stuff is incredible” he said waving the skewer for emphasis before taking a second much larger bite.
“I would urge a little caution Micky, the heat does tend to creep up on people” Banji said as he took a small bite from his own skewer.
The heat began to climb in Micky’s mouth, going from a gentle warmth to a furnace in the back of his mouth in the space of a few seconds.
“BLEEP me dead” he said, trying to drown himself in the yoghurt. “It’s not helping. It literally does nothing. Piyush mate are you trying to kill us?”
“A tru tru, it spicy some” replied Piyush with a gentle smile.
Recovering slightly after the yoghurt calmed his burnt nerves Micky looked up at Banji, “I’m not sure who’s trying harder to kill me mate, you or Ingunn.”
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