While she hadn’t exactly been expecting to go out completely uncontested, she was also generally unprepared to momentarily come face to face with Jess.

Not that that lasted for long. Her friend tried to reach out to her, saying something, but Emma’s eyes flicked away, catching sight of the girl from yesterday.

Not surprising, exactly, but not something she could ignore, either.

“No, not now. Not when she’s standing over your shoulder.”

Even just saying that felt like ripping out a part of herself, and it wasn’t helped by the obviously hurt look she got in return. There was a flicker of anger there, too, but it wasn’t directed at her.

Jade, then?

It didn’t matter. Even if there was tension there, they obviously were still dealing with each other.

As Emma walked by, putting effort into leaving the scene as gracefully– or, failing that, as angrily– as possible, Jade grinned at her and did that stupid almost-wave again.

It helped keep her on the anger side, at least.

Not that, even then, it lasted much longer than just enough to get to a somewhat-hidden alcove in the next building over.

It was an almost certain thing that, between how quickly she’d moved, the number of distractions available, and the sharp, opaque turns on her way here that nobody has seen where she went.

The last bits of control she’d been holding on to, a headache building the whole time, fell away, and the tears came almost instantly.

There was just so much going on. Doug was trying to make her hate Quince for some reason… no, not some reason, because he thought the new guy was, what? A threat or something?

Maybe if she’d had feelings for either one, or any guy, there might have been the beginnings of a point to any of that, but she didn’t.

Then that girl yesterday, and then today, too. Trying to get her to hate Doug, when she was already beginning to dislike some of the things he’d been doing.

She’d even admitted it, and that had kept her coming back to it. Why would Jade think that telling her what she was doing was reasonable? It should have made the whole thing not work, it should have made it easily dismissible…

Instead, Doug and Quince had not only proven themselves worse than she thought, but had gotten into a fight and thrown her in the middle of it.

She hated confrontation. Had always hated it. And yet, she was always in the middle of it, ragged into drama she wanted nothing to do with.

Sometimes, like with Jess, that was worth it.

Usually, though…

Usually she ended up like this, crying behind some wall because she had to say something outside of her usual generic niceness, and went way, way too far because she didn’t know how to stop.

“I won’t insult either of our intelligences by asking if you’re okay,” a male voice from above her stated, and she jumped in place, barely avoiding scrambling away from it.

He seemed to notice, though, stepping out and around her, sitting down close enough to talk with her but far enough away that neither of them could reach the other without moving first.

Whoever he was, he looked like he could be the freaking twin of that girl from yesterday. Same green eyes, same nose, same hair, even looked pretty much the same age.

Her voice was still in defensive mode, even if shakier now, and she didn’t even get to turn down the anger a little bit before she spoke. “What, come to laugh at me? Make another pass at getting me to do something? Ooh, maybe you think that by making overtures at comforting me, you get to date me! That would be fun, and definitely something I’ve never seen before.”

He didn’t respond for a few seconds, but he didn’t move either, and even staring over at him didn’t reveal anything other than neutral with a hint of worry.

“None of those, so I think I’m safe.”

Somehow, that response just pissed her off more. “What, so you think you’re special or something? Got something new for me?”

“Maybe,” he said, “Because I really only want to make sure you’re going to be okay when you leave today.”

She started to speak, tell him something about the day she’d been having, when he kept talking.

“I don’t mean that you’ll suddenly be okay at the end of talking to me. I mean that I want you to be on the right track before we go our separate ways. You’ve had kind of a shitty couple of weeks, and my sister and those teammates of yours just made today quite a bit worse.”

It wasn’t particularly funny, but it still got a short laugh out of her. It was just the criminal understatement of it, in that neutral voice like he was talking about the weather. He’d admitted that Jade was his sister, but for some reason that was more comforting than problematic.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I don’t think I was ready for the stuff that happened today, and I really should have been.”

“Ehh,” he responded, drawing out the syllable. “Ready for it, not ready for it, I’m not sure it makes a difference in your situation. It kinda just sucks all around.”

“How much do you even know about it?”

His head bounced left and right, tilting instead of the shake that one would usually expect. “A bit of what your friend told me. Some stuff I can guess at. Do you want to talk about it?”

Emma thought about that for almost a minute. She didn’t really have that much of a reason to say yes. Just his demeanor, though, was a kind of open that was weighing much more heavily in her mind than any number of reasons that she actually had for saying no.

“Some of it. You don’t really need to be here for that, though.”

“I don’t. But unless you tell me to leave, I will be.”

Neither of them moved or spoke for several seconds.

“She’s your sister, right?”

“Yes, with everything that means.”

“You’re covering for her.”

“Somewhat. I won’t deny that what she set up with you was out of line, and that I’d prefer you not be angry with her, but you also have a right to be angry.”

He was being upfront, at least. “I just… I just want to know why, I guess. Doug isn’t–” she choked on the word. ‘Isn’t’ didn’t matter anymore. “Wasn’t exactly a good guy to be around, but he was… I considered him a friend. And with everything that went on, I don’t think I can do that anymore. And I don’t know where I am without that, and the team. Arrows is my life.”

The silence filled the air between them again, and Nathaniel looked deep in thought. “It’s the same with me, mostly. But the reality is…” he trailed off again, this time looking away from her. “I think it’s probably worth finding out who you are outside that context. It isn’t really worth dedicating yourself so completely to something like that.”

Her first response was to be angry, the context not exactly helping in that regard. With him being so quiet, though, it seemed out of place, and she looked at the feeling.

And then stared at her hands.

“I… I know who I was without it. And I didn’t like her that much.”

“Was that without the game, or without your friend?”

She didn’t even have the time to think before she was talking again. “You have a thing for asking questions I really don’t want to answer, you know that?”

He smiled strangely. “You wouldn’t be the first. And it’s not like I need an answer if you don’t want to give one.”

Emma sighed. “No, I don’t want to give you one. But you deserve part of one anyways.”

She took a moment to collect her thoughts before answering. “Without the friend, absolutely. We made each other a lot better, just by being around. Or at least, the problems didn’t seem so obvious when she was around. Made me think there was… more there than there was.”

Nathaniel shrugged again. “That’s how it is sometimes. Almost nobody is exactly what you think about them, and it’s easy to convince ourselves of something being one way or another when it makes the world feel more like we want it to.”

“I owe a lot of people a lot of apologies.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re wrong,” he grinned. “Not that I think you’re quite right, either. You owe a few people some apologies, but the most important one of them is yourself.”

“Thought you’d say Jess or your sister,” Emma responded, raiding an eyebrow.

“Nah. They’re tough, and they can handle whatever you decide to do. You, though? You seem like the type to hold a grudge for letting people get away with playing with you for so long, especially when you knew they were doing it. So the big one, I think, is to apologize– then forgive. People– even smart, capable, independent people– are vulnerable to their friends. Just how that works. And it’s not worth it to hold that particular grudge. It can kill.”

They sat in silence for a few full minutes. Finally, Emma broke the silence.

“She told you?”

“No.”

The silence returned. She was curious, then, about his choice of words, but it didn’t really matter.

But interestingly… she didn’t feel fine, exactly. But the anger was gone.

It probably wouldn’t last. It never did, really, and she’d long ago come to terms with the fact that nothing was ever done when it felt done the first time.

But… she’d be okay, eventually.

Emma shook her head, an incredulous smirk on her face.

“I think you did it,” she said. “Not that I understand how.”

Nathaniel smiled back, his much more genuine. “It’s only a start, as you know. But the rest of it’s on you. I could, if you wanted, talk with you some more… but that would be your choice, from here, and you’ve obviously got a history that that would be playing on. Given that you’ll be talking to Jess anyways… You can get my number from her, when you get around to that.”

Emma stood. “Come on. I’ll walk back with you, say a few words to your sister and Jess. And… thanks.”

“Don’t think anything of it. I’m just glad to see you doing better.”