《My Pick Up Artist System》36: Pigs get roasted
Advertisement
'I can't believe this is going so well!' Ben was chatting up one of the two hot girls that Antonio opened. The group of four were dancing and chatting. So far, everything was perfect.
When Antonio opened them, they warmed up to him right away. Then he signaled Ben over and it became a two on two, with strong cooperation between the cousins. There was no need to compete when both girls were so attractive!
Antonio whispered into Ben's ear. "Bro, we should bring these two to your dorm, they seem down."
Ben also thought so. These two were local NYU students with fake IDs like him. Their dorm was far away and they seemed very easy-going and into him and Antonio. Ben found it hard to believe, but he thought something might happen with these two!
Too bad for Ben, but nightlife was a fickle club-slut.
As the four were dancing together, getting ready to escalate things, a snarky female voice emerged from behind Ben and Antonio. "Becca, Jamie, why are you two dancing with these two?"
Ben turned around to find a girl he hadn't seen before. She was short, overweight, and had a rough face, but as he scanned her clothes, he saw they were all top luxury brands. He could also smell alcohol on her breath even from a distance.
"Karla!" The two girls with Ben greeted the new girl. Ben's girl walked over and exchanged kisses, before pointing to Ben. "They're nice! These are Antonio and Ben."
Ben held his hand out to greet Karla.
She looked down her nose at his hand and grimaced. Then she turned to Ben's girl and said, "Ew...I don't talk to losers, and I definitely don't touch them, okay? I can tell they're poor from looking at them…Tch. Why'd you want to meet here anyways? This place is full of bridge and tunnel trash…"
Advertisement
"The music here is good…" Ben's girl replied, now blushing.
"Ugh, it's sh*t. Let's ditch these two and go somewhere better. My friend's promoting and will bring us into VIP at Latrine!"
Ben raised an eyebrow. 'Did she say she's going to a club called Latrine?'
Sensing things were moving downhill, Antonio whispered to Ben, "Bro, this new chick is about to wipe out our set with a c*ckblockalypse…"
Ben narrowed his eyes. He wasn't one to cause trouble for people, but if they insulted him first and for no reason, he wouldn't take it lying down if he had a choice. "Don't worry. I have an idea…I'm going to preempt her with a c*ckblocker blocker..."
Ben put his hands in his pockets, looking for a particular item. When he found it, he put on a warm smile and walked around Karla while she scowled and gave him the stink-eye. Stopping near the girl he was chatting with before, Ben whispered a few words to her, then went back to Antonio.
"What happened?" Antonio asked.
Ben didn't respond. His left hand in his pocket gripped the Bad Luck Perfume he unboxed earlier…
Consumables disappear on use. The Perfume was still there, so Ben hadn't used it. 'Of course I can't use an item like this on her. I'm not sick in the head! She's only a random obstacle, a girl in a bar...My parents taught me better.'
"What did you do?" Antonio asked.
"A diplomatic approach," Ben answered.
"Oh. Was it something you said to your chick? What did you say?"
Ben didn't respond. He waited. Diplomacy takes time…
"AAAAHH!" Karla screamed as her legs flew forward from under her and she fell hard on her back! She also knocked over a tray from a passing waitress with her flailing arms, which sent several drinks pouring all over her! She rolled on the sticky, filthy bar floor, trying to find which way was up! Some people even stepped on her by accident! There were shoe prints on her clothes!
Advertisement
She looked at her heels and discovered the culprit. "Why is there a f*cking banana peel on the floor?!?
Ben spread a villainous grin from ear to ear as he asked Antonio, "Did you like my diplomatic approach?"
Of course Ben wouldn't use the Bad Luck Perfume on her, but it wasn't because he didn't dare, but because the item was too expensive! Cost-effectiveness and ruthlessness; That's how Ben did diplomacy! He learned from House of Cards!
'Like I said, I'm not that evil…to waste hard-earned points! That swamp-hog can eat a trash banana peel though! I can afford that sacrifice!'
"Oh my god! My Versace dress! It's ruined!"
Right then, the DJ put on a new track.
"When the pimp's in the crib ma Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot"
Everyone nearby cackled at Karla! Even her two friends tried to hide their chuckles! The timing of the song was too perfect!
While playing Snoop Dogg's track and waving one hand in the air, the DJ used the other hand to keep scratching back the song back. It was like he wanted to repeat the most suitable line for Karla's situation!
"When the pigs try to get at you
When the pigs try to get at you
When the pigs try to get at you."
Karla kept falling down over and over because her heel was stuck in the banana peel! By coincidence or not, the DJ timed the rhythm of the verse to each drop!
Anyone who held back laughter before could no longer stand it! The entire club exploded like a lolcano!
Only after a fierce struggle with gravity, did Karla manage to stand up. She looked around and saw everyone guffawing at her... "Shut up!" she screamed as she ran to the bathroom with the banana peel still hanging from her heel. Snickering themselves, her friends followed her.
Ben sneered as the noob rage quit…
'Super Mario Kart 2017 Champion b*tch! You f*cked with the wrong one!' Ben didn't fail to represent his title...
It was unfortunate that the two hotties left with her, but Ben didn't care, because he got something better!
[Congratulations! You've unlocked the Achievement: Creativity Fuels the Future(fine) - Use a system item in an unorthodox way to defuse an obstacle]
[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500]
[Distributing reward: PUA Points + 500 (Event bonus)]
He exchanged a trash banana peel for 1000 points!
'Time for another Mystery Box!'
Francis Underwood would be proud.
Advertisement
- In Serial108 Chapters
Knights & Magic
A mecha otaku is reincarnated into another world as Ernesti Echevalier (Eru). In this world there exist huge humanoid weapons known as Silhouette Knight. Dreaming of piloting those robots, Eru, with childhood friends, Archid Walter and Adeltrud Walter: together they will aim to become a Knight Runner, pilot of Silhoutte Knight.
8 277 - In Serial13 Chapters
The Pink Dungeon
Joseph Collins was your average private in the army. But that all changed with his death. As a perk of serving in the army any fatalities in the field have their consciousness uploaded to a massive array of servers where they may choose to become a manbot, a human conscious inside a robot, or be uploaded to one of the various virtual realities that offer a second chance at life. Joseph has a problem though. When his consciousness was being uploaded the computer, was overloaded with high doses of radiation. Contamination to his upload has resulted in him being reborn as a dungeon. Can he survive in this adventurer filled world? Will he have to find out if he’s lucky enough to come back to life a second time? Reborn as the pink dungeon will he make a name for himself or just be the biggest joke of all? Follow the adventures of a very odd dungeon, a captain of the guard, a very mischievous little girl, and Richard a traveler looking to find something more in what he thought was just a game.
8 188 - In Serial6 Chapters
Infested
In a world where Super human powers are almost guaranteed at birth, one boy was not gifted but rather plagued with the misfortune of the """"Zero Gene"""" case. Punished and tortured by those around him, just because of his mere existence, he uses rage and anguish as a fuel to claim his revenge on those who caused him such pain.*This is my first ever fanfic; if it turns out to be bad, I will delete and try to make a new story**Strong language**Fanfic inspired by venom from marvel*
8 89 - In Serial21 Chapters
Spellbent
Seth is a young boy dreaming of going on a big adventure to explore the world, like any other ten-year-old does. The world expects him to follow his destiny to become the sword-wielding hero he was meant to be and beat all the evil in the world. All would be right in the world, except for one little thing: Seth dislikes swords. Instead, Seth decides to follow his life-long dream of becoming a Magician although Magic is something that was only mentioned in passing in the books he read. Accompanied by his goblin companion, Twig, Seth will face some of the many perils the world has in store for him. Though, he may be too ill-equipped to face them head-on…
8 169 - In Serial46 Chapters
Deterrence
Humanity has spread throughout the Perseus Arm of the Milky Way. All is not well – worlds are strictly controlled and governed by the Alliance of Planets. However, for the first time a planet, Caxis, has succeeded in the unthinkable—seceding from the Alliance, sparking unrest and a wave of insurgent activity. In response, the Alliance makes public the existence of a new superweapon known as the Gravity Bomb. Marcus Fenig, a courier that travels the Perseus Arm for a living, is cut off from his wife and baby after the Alliance surrounds Caxis with a blockade. He will do anything to get back to his family. Garrick Karn – a loyal Alliance officer who looks up to Allison – is searching for traitors using increasingly desperate tactics in the belief that any price is worth paying to keep the Alliance safe.
8 184 - In Serial23 Chapters
Call of the Void
Aaron was tired of his life, unrealized dreams, a dead-end job, and an inability to connect to the people around him had sapped him of his will to live. Deciding to end it all, he sought the nothingness of the void. And the Void acquiesced. But instead of feeling nothing, he was spat out into an uncaring and hostile world. With nothing left to lose, Aaron struggles with his new lease on life. Will he screw this one up as well? or will he become more than he ever dreamed of? ------------------------------------------------ A Progression fantasy in a hopefully unique setting that explores the pathos of the protagonist as he deals with or struggles to in his new circumstances. Magic and martial arts, monsters, magical races, evil wizards, and fantastical landscapes dot the wide vista of Ersetu. Immortals, Demigods, Deathcults, Flesh traders, and Interdimensional invasions are just the beginning. --------------------------------------------- Weekly five updates, 500-1000 word chapters for now. Thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day.
8 162

