Holy moly! Oh my gods! Mighty Sendervil save me!

What...

What have I done!?

I can't help but peek through my fingers as my head throbs.

Doubtlessly, I am naked.

Undeniably, I am in a large bed.

Invariably, there is also a naked sleeping Kurono and Alicia here as well, looking content.

My hair is down, and I feel very relaxed myself, besides the rising panic flooding my head.

I should know better than this!

Di... did I finally cave to Kurono's advances whilst I was drunk!?

Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I even got the new girl involved!? Or did Kurono also?!

I want to headbutt the wall repeatedly until it bleeds. That would be the most sensible.

I do it quietly.

I only manage three smacks, but it hurts.

Unfortunately, it only serves to uncloud the memories.

I thought...

Nope. It was actually me all along.

We did a quick escort job for a noble together. We got along very well, this reformed party of mine. The new girl reminds me of Rishya's friend... the green haired one, fighting with two swords. Big ones. And I guess I should have known from someone Kurono recommended, Alicia was a serious beauty. Another A rank. White hair with black streaks, tall, toned, and well-developed in....

Gaahhh!

I was feeling ever so lonely. Rishya was all growing up, finding a man to love, getting mature all of a sudden, having responsibilities, not just wasting time with Aria, but resolved properly to protect her.

I don't know what she saw in that guy. He seemed flaky to me. But then again, I've had so many marriage interviews that maybe I came to see all men like that?

I considered guiding her away from that path, highlighting to her about how horrible and sneaky men could be. But I realised she really did like him, and me doing that would just be cruel, selfish, and conniving. And maybe dangerous, with her powerful Light spirit.

I was already a tremendously selfish girl. Grandfather and uncle Douglas ended up agreeing to my whims to become a mercenary.

They didn't have to agree. But they did. I guess they thought it was a phase and I would come crying back to them. But I didn't.

Now... they've even given up on me, right? Since I had such a difficult phase, they even gave away my engagement gift.

It's not their fault I was forced to look at men. It's just normal. But I had tantrum after tantrum until I got what I wanted.

And then... Kuro... I met her, and Kali, and Kuro, she told me... always whispering in my ear, that I could love women as well...

It was wrong, though! I thought that at the time. But a curious part of me was, I guess, always there.

I refused her for so long. Kali doing it as well helped, I think.

Part of me thought that perhaps, eventually, I could meet a dashing scoundrel mercenary, someone like a thief type, a kind gentleman, sweet and funny and not just looking at me like a potential heir creator.

I held onto that hope.

But... that man never existed. Some male mercenaries set my heart racing a little bit.

That older knight captain. He had a woman, though, and was devoted to her.

That Earth Mage. But he was a bigot.

That dark and edgy swordsmaster. But he was into other men.

I thought perhaps, it was truly just a matter of time.

But I'm nearly nineteen, and it hasn't happened. Rish is thirteen and already in love. And there was someone in front of me.

What a fool.

The alcohol, and the joy of our new cohesion and rank and everything. It just broke the last resistance tonight. And I caved.

In a spectacular fashion. I let Kuro teach me really embarrassing things. I never felt anything like this before.

Frankly, it was amazing.

I guess Kuro was already with Alicia as well at some point. She agreed straight away! What the hells!?

And yet, I also find her attractive.

I truly have become a deranged woman.

Doubtlessly mother and aunt Rhiannon are squirming in their graves right now. I am truly sorry I couldn't become a bastion of elegance to stand next to a gentleman. I hated court. Healing and protecting and helping people out were the only things that truly brought me joy. Taking care of little Rish.

She's becoming a woman soon, no doubt. But what am I?

What will I become?

It's ironic. I'm still stood elegantly next to another noble after all. A countess, even, when I'm technically a duchess if I wanted to be.

A female harem member!? Kuro is clearly a deft touch. She's done this before. She targeted me and now I'm her greatest conquest, eh?

But.

For some reason.

I'm okay with that.

I truly have become a deranged woman. I smile wryly to myself.

Suddenly, Kurono jumps awake. I blush involuntarily as the sheets fall off her.

Then, out of no-where, she wails, her eyes suddenly gushing with tears.

I want to hug her, so I do. Why is she so emotional?! Is it me!? Was it a nightmare!?

"There, there, Kuro..." I say. "What's wrong?"

She cries into my breasts. I feel good about this. What a nutter I've become.

"T-the void!" She cries. "It's... hurting so much! It was torn! Blown open!"

Innuendo!?

Ngh... no... she's not this time... she's really truly horrified in this case. Her magic power is fluctuating wildly as well...

The void is broken? What does that mean?

Somehow, though, I get the feeling its ominous...