"And this foolish rumour mill of a girl is my granddaughter, Rishya, whom I raised." Says Douglas, the headmaster. It turns out that he is also a Duke and one of the nobles faction.

"Spelt with a 'y', I'll have you know." The blonde girl states imperiously, puffing out her reasonably sized chest. "I am Aria's best friend."

Assuming I didn't cause her to lose brain cells when I crashed into her, then apparently, she's an idiot like Aria too. Like histmunch in pod.

"As much as it pains me to admit it... Rishya has been around me forever." Aria sighs exaggeratedly.

"She says I'm a pain, but I'm always saving her..." Rishya looks proud.

"...Even when I don't need saving!"

"...and nobody else talks to her..."

"...Because you're around all the time!"

"...If they cannot stand our combined radiance, they have no right to be with us."

Wow. I watch their exchange like it’s a verbal tennis match. Finishing each other’s sentences... they're like a married couple! I guess my plans need to change, Aria's taken already!

"She is certainly a... special girl." I say, swallowing a grin.

"Why thank you, Ser Etranger! See Aria! Even your future groom appreciates me!" Rishya claps her hands, not detecting my sarcasm.

"He is NOT my groom!!" Aria shouts, balling her fists. She's being such a tsundere, right?

"Now, now, that’s just a formality. It is grand he is taking responsibility for your baby." Rishya pats her on the shoulder, looking starry eyed.

"I am NOT pregnant!!" Aria looks like she has a headache.

"There, there. Just because you don't feel it doesn't mean you haven't got a bun in the oven. You need to stop deluding yourself now you have slept with him." Rishya closes her eyes and pats her chest, making it wobble.

Aria is quivering with an explosive concoction of emotion. This particular piece of information was originally omitted in Aria giving a recounting of events, but Seria was 'kind' enough to add fuel to Rishya's burning delusions by mentioning it.

My face probably looks mighty strange as well, and Seria has barely stopped for breath from sniggering the entire time, tears in her eyes. Douglas has face palmed with both hands.

Rishya is certainly a special girl, I meant what I said. She has undying conviction in herself, an irrepressible good manner in her conduct, and it genuinely feels as though she cares for Aria. You would think she is trolling; but she absolutely believes everything she is saying... and has even added the details of the story we have told to Douglas in order to mould it around her own truth (it's just Seria doing the trolling).

Well... as entertaining as it is to watch Aria inadvertently get bullied like this, I guess I should step in to save her... but I feel like I can only change this catastrophic misunderstanding by pulling it out by the roots... which won't be pretty.

"Excuse me, Rishya?" I ask.

She turns back to me again, her chest jiggling slightly. It's mighty distracting.

"Yes, Ser Etranger, how may I serve you?" She asks, giving a dazzling smile with her baby face.

I don't see any other choice here.

"Are you are aware how babies are made?" I drop the nuke.

Seria literally falls over and rolls on the floor laughing; and Aria suddenly jumps and gains a hannya face, frantically crossing her arms in a 'no' gesture. Rishya’s eyes go wide and her eyebrows scrunch.

"This witch girl is awfully rude... hmmph!"

"Please don't mind her, she has problems restraining herself." I say, serious toned.

"Quite. Ahem! It is curious you do not know the answer. But to respond to your enquiry; they are made when you sleep with a man." She answers.

Well, she's not wrong. But I think she has the wrong sleep in mind.

"It actually... requires an extra step." I say, trying to restrain myself from using a deadpan voice.

"Oh! Yes, I am aware it requires a close hug as well!" She nods, cupping her face in her hands and blushing.

T-This is physically painful. Do I have to go all the way with her?

"And... there is another thing as well. While... hugging... a man must... join together with the girl. He puts his..." I gulp.

She is staring at me intently now with her big red eyes. I feel like I'm about to commit a terrible crime as she leans into my face. I hear 'kiniarimasu!!' from a certain school detective anime in my head... and it's not helping...

"His what!?" She asks intensely.

Aria has now covered her face and is peeking out her fingers, blushing. Oh for fucks sake... I'm truly sorry about your granddaughter, headmaster, but she cannot possibly be allowed to be this sheltered. Let there be ruin!

"His p*nis. It gets big when he likes the girl, and it goes inside her when she is naked and it makes them both happy. I did NOT complete this crucial step with Aria. So she is not pregnant." My tone is entirely deadpan as the words spill out in a torrent.

Rishya appears frozen in place. Her eyes start to swim as if entire portions of her brain are being rewritten. She gulps and staggers backwards, waving her hands frantically, and causing her chest to sway.

"Eh... What? That... oh no! That... it all... OH NO! Those special parts... that... Ah... AHHHHH!!!" She cries, falling on her rear.

Though I can nary believe I just had to do such a thing, it had to be done. How can anyone possibly be as sheltered as this at her age?

Perhaps it is guilt, but I still feel a wrenching in the pit of my stomach. I have probably just shattered this poor girl's innocence in a single blow. And yet, I am more relieved than anything that she did not say 'what's a p*nis?'.

Well... this turned out to be one hell of a school visit. Not the sort of learning I expected to promote, though. I prepare to go dogeza and kiss the floor in apology to Douglas, but he is leaning back in his chair and looks unimaginably relieved. He then leaps up and thanks me, grasping my hands. I guess he has had his own difficulties with raising this girl...

Such crazy... much wow...