《Yuusha Isekai! Youjo Suki!》23. Monsters are overrated
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I shield my eyes from the furious blast, and blink, barely in time, though this can’t save my hearing from the point-blank thunderclap, and it still leaves white spots everywhere in my vision.
I get the impression Kerkyon might have screamed, or something, but all I can hear is a low whine in my noggin. He slams face first directly in front of me and the sage, huge clouds of steam rolling off him, and zaps of electricity still running all over his smoking armour plates. His sword clatters to the side and nearly falls off the platform.
I’m glad Kaede’s Jutsu didn’t summon some kind of extreme purity water, or else the whole plan would have gone to the butcher along with my spleen. But luckily, it seemed to be conductive water, as I’d hoped, and as Identify pointed out to me as well, his resistance only applied when he was surrounded in air for some reason. Some kind of thing with wind spirits? Who the heck knows, it’s magic, after all.
// I see. // Most… fascinating //
Are you ok over there, Sage? The robe is swaying like some comedy drunkard routine.
// Alas… // That was too much power… // Cannot maintain… //
The figure starts to topple. Oh shit! I spin and help the overly large robe topple down as gracefully as possible, which isn’t very gracefully at all, since it’s like wrestling with a curtain. The old man inside is as light as the soft silk in which he is clad. Which is not too unusual I suppose, but still a surprise.
Across the way, Aria staggers up, and carefully hops across to the side me and the sage are on, whilst Kaede is now helping Kiku stand up. Without any hesitation, Aria reverse grips the spear, and impales it down into Kerkyon’s exposed neck joint. My hearing decides to come back online just in time for the sickening thud as a gush of blood spurts over Aria’s chest. He twitches and goes limp, so maybe he actually lived through the blast? Tenacious bastard.
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Aria is breathing heavily now, her eyes have gone wide, and her hands are still clutched on her spear, which is still impaled into Kerkyon’s neck. Her knuckles have gone white. Oh boy. I settle the sage gently on the ground, and move a couple of steps over to her.
“Are you ok, Aria?” I ask.
She shakes a little, and tears are running down her face. I see. She really is a kind girl…
“You did it Aria. You did well. It’s all over now. You can stop.”
I gently rub the hands she is holding her spear with, and gradually, they loosen. She then starts to fall down, so I grab her hand to steady her.
“Onii-chan… who is the monster here?” She looks up at me, fearfully.
“It’s me, of course. I’ll eat you up!” I jest, grabbing her in a bear hug.
She blinks repeatedly, as if she can’t believe what just happened… and then…
“Kaa…. Kyahhh… Elijah, c-can’t you stop being a pervert for two seconds!?!?” Her deadpan delivery of that line somewhat dampens the impact. But it’s intentional, I think.
“No can do. It’s part of my nature, princess…” I grin.
But then she smiles a goofy grin as well, and starts to laugh, pushing me away in an elegant spin like she is doing a court dance. It’s pretty cute.
Kiku and Kaede leap across to this spectacle. Kiku has entered ‘O RLY’ mode again, which is pretty disconcerting when she has one bloodied red eye.
“And you girls? Are you ok as well? All of you were integral to this victory.” I ask.
“You wot? I just acted as a sponge, Nii. It was your weird ass combo attack that actually did something.” Kiku denounces her own role in the battle.
“Yes… which reminds me… how is it that you were even aware of the Serene Water Jutsu, Nii-sama?” Kaede asks.
Oh shit! What a blunder! It’s true, I’ve known Kaede for not even an hour, and I know one of her secret techniques. I could get away with telling Kiku to throw her sword at the Crawler, because I saw that before, but…
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“It… it was the first skill I acquired on coming here… the ability to read others abilities.” I say.
Aria looks at bit baffled; but then nods and says “Mmm, and use them, wasn’t it? His specialisation is learning things, Kaede. Quite useless in a pinch, he is, but I guess he is like… nnn…”
“…untapped potential, yes?” Kaede finishes.
“To be honest, Nii is pretty scary in his own way, even if his battle sense is crap.” Kiku adds.
“He is a self-proclaimed monster, after all!” Aria appends with a smirk.
Kiku and Aria burst out laughing together again, and Kaede looks like she missed a bus.
“Ahem…” I clear my throat “…anyway, the mission, as impromptu as it was, was a success, I think.”
The girls stop chattering, and look over the Sage, who is still laid down just a few feet from us.
“Is the Sage ok, Onii-chan?” Aria asks.
I go over to the sage, kneel down tensely, and take their ‘head’ into my arms. The robe is motionless, which is pretty disturbing and worrying. How do you check the pulse when you can’t even discern a person inside? But to answer my worries, a large snore is suddenly heard. The girls can’t stop from laughing, and neither can I. My arms relax somewhat.
“Just exhausted, then. I mean, can any normal mage defeat twenty odd demons by themselves, and then throw out a massive thunderbolt like that last one? Especially at the age of this geezer?” I ask.
“It’s true. Even though I assume the Sage is very powerful, and in their home, these demons would be a challenge for even an elite hunter squad like my Dad leads.” Kiku stops snickering to answer.
With some appropriate timing, the robe of the sage, which now reveals itself to be magical, bursts apart in a rush of shadows, and disappears.
To my honest shock this time, there is another cute girl inside. Long black twin-tails, amber-brown eyes, slender… and basically in her underwear besides a weird iron chain collar. And now she is lying on my lap.
Aria gives me a look of unadulterated hate. H-how was I supposed to know about this one!?
Considering the happenings so far, I guess I should have anticipated this... but why the heck is this world being so magnanimous to me? A flower on each hand would have been ample considering my usual luck in life, but no, I'm well on my way to a bouquet here!
Aria clouts me round the noggin, and lifts up the Sage over her shoulder, getting her off my lap. At least Aria held back, because my skull is still attached, and if anything, I feel a pleasant, tingling feeling across my body. Please don’t tell me I’m turning M!?
Strangely, though, I realise that my chest has also stopped hurting. As I get up again, I observe the neat slash left by Kerkyon has already healed up to an angry looking scar. There is still a neat gap in my tunic, showing off the six-pack I’m still not used to, but aside from the clotted blood, it hardly looks like I was just in a fight at all. Oh!
“Aria… thankyou for healing me.” I say to her receding back.
“Hmnph…” I barely hear in response as she trundles off down the stairs with her new girl-shaped sack of potatoes. I kind of feel sorry for the Sage; as her twintails are dragging along the floor behind Aria.
I’m guessing Aria is taking her to one of the lower rooms. Kiku is busy snickering to herself, and Kaede appears to be keeping her distance from this spectacle, wisely.
“So, I guess we’re going to be making ourselves at home, ladies.” I say.
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