I came around because of sharp pain in my right leg. The sight that I woke up to struck me with its surreality. Comfortably seated on my belly on the leftovers of a neck, was a head that belonged to an evil man. A few thin tentacles remained wrapped around my wounded leg, and one was twined around the base of the crossbow bolt that stuck out of my knee. The last one started moving to loosen the arrow and suddenly jerked it out of my leg. A few newly grown tentacles quickly dove into the wound. The Head brought the bloody bolt to its horrid maw and liked it clean uttering a nasty growl. My consciousness decided that that was enough for today and decided to leave me.

I awoke the next time late at night. To my amazement, my body didn’t ache at all. But I turned about to be so weak that I could only move around on my fours. To my relief, the freaky revived head wasn't around, and I hastily began to hope that I imagined the whole thing.

I was hungry and thirsty. So much so, that I actually entertained the thought of returning to the castle and getting a drink from the moat. But on second thought, I wanted to live even more. Something told me that nothing pleasant could have happened there since I turned that damn necromancer into a leech or whatever the hell that thing is called.

The fact of the matter was, that, since my grand escape, not a sound came from the direction of the castle. And its silhouette didn't display any signs of activity either.

I continued crawling towards the forest... In an hour and a half, I finally leaned against a particularly branchy oak completely exhausted. All of a sudden, there came a slight rustling noise, and the head from before jumped out in front of me. It has changed... Out of the shortened neck sprouted 8 spider legs, the braid now looked more like a scorpion stinger with the end of the arrow sticking out on the end. In its jaws, the little nightmare held a long five-foot snake. He gently placed it next to my leg, making that noise again and licking his lips with a split tongue. Man! When I get back to the real world I'll find the designer who came up with this thing and break the fingers on his left hand... then on the right one... and then I'll confiscate his bag of weed! To be frank, I figured that the guy held my dream job!

The head waved it's braid impatiently and smiled, giving me an honest look. Two rows of sharp teeth, green glowing eyes, crackled skin, exposed muscle tissue, a disturbingly long split tongue that could lick the eyeballs with no effort at all, and spider legs sticking out of the stump of a neck. Attention! Viewer discretion is advised: you might want an immediate lobotomy after this one. And I found myself starring at this little monster without any hints of disgust, fear or squeamishness. It looks like the recent events really messed me up. An insane world, drawn by a crazy artist. Horrible routine brutality, pain, death, the intoxicating struggle. And beauty... The incomparable wild beauty of the endless starlit sky, with the massive disc of the local moon encircled by a ring of meteorites.

Vivat, Maestro! The creator of this world definitely created one hell of an afterlife for the past and future generations. But is this heaven or is this hell? And who are the local inhabitants of this world? Scripted characters, silent shadows, walking decorations? I couldn’t believe that. Their Fear was real. And so was their pain. And their death. I felt it. Felt the peasant's fear, the soldier's rage. Felt their pain, their dying thoughts. Not all of them fell into anger, shock, and horror on their deathbeds. When they realize that there's no turning back, some recall the happy moments of their lives. The creators of this world aren't just programmers or developers. They're passionate artists! And they made me believe in this world with all my heart! I felt like I needed to try to make it better. Just like I tried back in the world, where I was killed. Even back there, I accomplished something! Here I can become God!

FreakHead drew my attention, carefully poking my leg with one of his paws.

I shook away my thoughts and focused on the gurgle of my empty stomach. And the issue of my survival for that matter.

So let's see what I've got...

FreakHead is one thing, who or what he is remains unclear. And I should probably read the messages, that stay folded in front of my gaze. Maybe they'll explain something.

OK, we've got one linen shirt completely torn and covered in blood, a pair of pants in a similar condition... And... And that’s it. No knife, no stick, no boots... A bunch of shapeshifter abilities, but I haven't gotten to them yet.

Oh yes! Plus an insane hunger and a dead snake, weighing something like a quarter of a pound. But there’s no telling if it's poisonous or not. Have you ever tasted raw snake? Neither have I. Till yesterday I haven't eaten raw man flesh... Not so sure about the cooked variety though... with my phenomenal ability to get into trouble, I’m almost sure that during my life some butcher store might have served me a utilized corpse! So...

I started from the tail, it wasn’t that bad. My taste receptors were probably augmented a little. And as a result, a raw python, adder, constrictor or whatever (I'm not good at telling snakes apart), tasted just like smoked sausage, but not as salty. I threw the remains along with the head to FreakHead. He made a noble purring sound, swallowing the piece whole. After which he ran off into the woods. I curled at the base of the oak, comfortably covered by fallen leaves. Before falling asleep, I remember thinking, where does Freakhead’s food go? It’s not like he has a stomach… This is the occasion when a good head comes from an asshole. That’s what I call hidden advantages! I arose the next morning to cool morning dew and Freakhead's rustling. I dug myself out of a pile of leaves, stretched with a few loud crunches and took a look around. Nearby lay a few dead hares with their heads gnawed off. FreakHead Was running wildly in circles around a tree trunk. The decapitated head had a very surprised look on its face, wide-open eyes with green sparks within were rolling out of control. It suddenly came to me that it was time to put an end to this freak show. Otherwise, when I return to the real world, I might become one hell of a discovery for a practicing psychiatrist. These guys are always chasing unusual cases, and becoming the hero of a dissertation titled "Personality deviation at a terminal stage" wasn’t exactly my childhood dream. I wanted to travel to another planet! I wonder how space travel developed over the years?

After 15 minutes of torture and I was finally able to turn my hand into a set of bird claws, after which I spent some time playing with different modifications until I got a stable set of sharp claws. With my new accessory, I skinned and gutted the hares. Again a few new messages started blinking, but I ignored them and proceeded to wolf down raw meat. Bones and all. Now that first real difference from the real world. Had I tried pulling off that trick back when I was alive I would've ended up spitting out my teeth and then throwing shit north-north-west because of my stomach's reaction to raw meat. But this was quite tasty. It's a shame I didn't happen to have any pepper on me. Finally gorged I got rid of the leftovers of hare with Freakhead, admiring the twisted, bloody face of the not so lucky baron. It was time to find my way back to civilization. But first I gotta sort out the system notifications. Hey! Looks like got a Level-up!

Let's see: Level-up, Level-up, achievements...

You have used your wits and used the body of an enemy for cover and as a weapon. Achievement unlocked: "Master of Flesh". The efficiency of attacks with body parts of sentient beings increased by 10 percent. You can now add body parts to your inventory and use them as ingredients.

+3 Intelligence

+2 wisdom

Gained 10000 XP

Attention! Equal to "Man-Eater" Achievement

In the Heat of battle, you have created a Chimera without applying your own magical abilities. Unique crafting ability unlocked: Сombat Chimerologist- Combining different magical and physical objects allows you to create an entity on the battleground. Construction mode will be activated automatically. You have now obtained a recipe: Chimera of Death.

+5 intelligence

+3 agility

+5 luck

Gained 15000 XP

You have survived against all constructed odds. Achievement unlocked: Epic Adventurer.

Probability of encountering desperate situations increased x3. Probability of an unlikely lucky event increased x3

Luck +7

Endurance +5

They must be joking!

You have gained the achievement Lieutenant of Chaos for singlehandedly causing a massacre among your foes.

Speed +3

Strength +3

Wisdom +5

Chaos reputation +100

Create 4 similar situations to gain the rank Captain Chaos.

It looks like I've got a new hobby!

You have gained the rank Dark Curse Convert - your actions have created a new stronghold of Darkness.

Wisdom +5 Reputation among Darkness fractions +200 To reach the next rank Dark Curse Adept damn 4 more locations by any means possible

Curse? I could curse places and people back in real life. I had a weird way of doing it. And the closer my friends knew me, the more the heeded my warning not to ask me about their future. Even for laughs. One of my good friends from college had a habit of asking me how long he would date another girl. After four exact predictions and one "You'll break up tomorrow" he dropped that habit. Another friend of mine asked me about her future. I said, " A house on the beach." During the next year, the poor girl from Kyiv received eight invitations to move to Spain or Italy. She resisted the best she could. But in the end, her boyfriend inherited a House in Italy, and she finally moved there.

But the most memorable case involved a "girl next door" named Anne. Once under the influence of a stale hysteria, she asked me out for a walk. During our encounter, I found out the following. Anne was screwed. Nobody loves her, she was on the brink of being expelled from the university, and her Mom came over to try and kick some sense into her, which in reality meant nagging her to death. Seeing that her hysteria was about to reach hospital grade levels, I came up with a genius scheme.

"Anne, I know what we have to do... I know an ancient druid ritual. We'll ask the spirit of this park for help."

"Are you serious?"

"Sure. What do you have to lose?"

"Okay..."

So, giggling like children, we performed the Ancient druid ritual, which I totally made up along the way. After a bunch of mysterious rites and pretty crazy conversations with a few trees, I handed Anya a leaf from an apple tree and in a grim voice announced:

"The forest will grant your wishes, but in return asks to see the world through your eyes from time to time."

Anya whispered something in agreement, finally pulled herself together and went back to her dormitory. This is what happened next... That same evening she met her future husband.

The next morning she got a call from the university. Out of an entire bunch of indebted students, she was the only one the Dean decided to have mercy on, and she wasn’t going to be expelled. Her Mom finally decided,, that living with her relatives would be a lot more comfortable and Anne began seeing weird dreams...

Since then, we stopped maintaining contact. I was unfriended from any possible social networks, added to the blacklist on her phone, and the one time we saw each other in the university, I saw so much undisguised fear, that I didn’t even walk up to her.

You have completed a hidden quest: "Heavenly wrath." You have destroyed an evil ruler. Attention! You have come up with an exceptionally brutal execution. The rewards for completing the quest is increased.

You now possess one wish from the Soul of the World. To claim your reward say: I wish to say a word.

Gained 100 000 XP.

You are now master to a legendary pet: The Chimera Of Vengeance. You have given the summoned spirit the blood, pain, and misery of the summoner. You have bestowed it with flesh and purpose. You treated it as an equal with neither disgust nor fear. You will never find a friend and guardian more faithful.

This current achievement has been added to the Hall of Fame. For unlocking this achievement, your reputation among the Orders of Light and the Summoners has fallen by 10000 points (hatred). Special quests have been generated around your character. Have a nice game.

You have obtained a new crafting ability, "Flaying 1". Skinning is now a lot easier to perform.

Well, well, well skinning who? That’s the question of the day…

Now let’s check out the stats!

Please distribute your characteristic points.

Сurrent stats:

Player Name - Fillin

Race - Turn skin(Forest Owl)

Class -Mentalist Level 29

Basic parameters:

Strength 13

Agility 14

Endurance 13

Intelligence 20

Wisdom 5

Intuition 8

Charisma 27

Luck 17

HP 280 Manna 400

Basic chance of critical strike 29% (success results in critical effects)

Basic attack(fists) 45-47

Basic attack (claws) 186-259

Undistributed characteristic points 140.

Attention you can conjure 2 new incantations.

Not bad. I'm not sure what to compare with, but judging by the HP level of average soldiers I should be able to kill them with a blow or two... being unarmed. But these are merely formalities. I was able to rip out throats, gouge out eyes, and tear off limbs starting level 1. Plus there's any type of armor that doesn't affect my damage but simply blocks it.

Would you like to create an incantation?

"Yes."

State the desired effect.

"Seeing the Life flow of creatures and sentients."

Generating incantation. "Signature" Incantation generated. Effect: You can now see the flow of life energy in living beings. (Categories can be adjusted by filters). This spell will not help you detect the undead, elementals, and other non-living beings.

Activation cost: 15 mana per second

Accept incantation?

A sniper's dream! 'Yes!"

Would you like to create an incantation?

"Yes." (Time to accomplish my childhood dream)

State the desired effect.

"Telekinesis!"

Attention! The desired effect belongs to the Psionic school of wizardry. The cost of effect increased x10 possible duration and strength of effect reduced by x10.

Generating incantation. Completed generating the “Flick” incantation.

Effect: A direct psionic effect on any point in space. Maximum force 10 Newtons. Maximum affected area 1 square centimeter.

Cost: 150 manna per second.

Would you like to learn this incantation?

Damn it! All my hopes of waving around a flame-bladed sword with an invisible third hand, my dreams of shutting up an annoying opponent with a flick of the wrist, of squeezing flesh like a wet cloth... I wonder if I should seek out a shrink in this joint. My fantasies of groping some pretty girl in the crowd without getting caught or even seen will just remain fantasies. Speaking of seeking out, some female company sure would be nice... Oh? What about flying on the sheer force of willpower! All of that just got taken away from by some formal system notification! This is so unfair! Wait a second Why the hell would I need wings of will power?! A can turn into a goddamned bird of prey now!

'No!"

Warning! If you refuse, you won't be able to generate new incantations until level 30. Are you prepared to confirm your refusal?

"No."

Now I was upset. Such a great opportunity wasted. Lets read through the effects one more time. Any point in space. ANY POINT IN SPACE. I’m a genius!

"Learn incantation, rename to Stroke."

"Stroke" spell generated. To access other incantations of the Mentalist school find Mentors or turn to specific literature.

Now, we've got the Magic covered. Now it's time to toss around the Stat points. A third goes to Speed, which is essential for me. The second third is divided between Intelligence and Agility, And a sixth - to Intuition. The rest was scattered among the other traits, and I was sad to discover that my luck couldn't be enhanced this way. Now it's time to walk up to civilization! But why the hell should I walk? Am I a shapeshifter or what?! I'm gonna fly! Next on my list is the "Slayer of The Strong" achievement, and I've got just under half an XP bar till the next level.

"Freakhead!"

The Chimera quit it's running around the tree and gawped at me with watchful eyes!

"I'm about to Dust off! Can you follow me? If you can - blink once, if not - twice."

The Head sadly blinked twice... Crap. Gotta find a bag of some sort. But the only things that seemed remotely suited the job were my torn up, bloody clothes. Without any regret whatsoever I took off my shirt, Which probably was white a long ass time ago but now was a shitty dark brown and made an improvised handbag. Freakhead briskly climbed in and quickly sucked in all of his "undocumented" appendages. The baron's torn off head with a mad, twisted expression was starring at me out of the bag. Impressive.

I concentrated my thoughts and with a will effort, which came pretty easily after the experiments with my claws, changed form. The world grew in size. I pushed away from the ground and flapped my wings. The jump sent me up three feet in the air, but then gravity caught up with me. After an hour of tiring attempts, I unlocked the achievement "Young Sisyphus": fatigue costs are decreased by 1%. I gave up and went back to digging in the parameters.

It turned out that until level fifty, I had access only to the Glide ability. For the time being, I could only snap my beak angrily and do the goo-goo eye trick. Pffffffft... In one last desperate attempt, I climbed o low-hanging branch, transformed into an Owl once more, already nearly tumbling down. I concentrate my will power, focus, and flapping my wings with all my might set out to challenge gravity one last time… It was a short flight…

I wasn't able to steer clear and crashed into I nearby tree head first… Black Hawk Fucking down! I reverted back into human form.

"Behold, Freakhead! The little helicopter that COULDN’T. Well, it’s 30 miles to the nearest town, and we left your legs back at the castle! And your arms for that matter..."

I reached for the bag and made an extraordinary discovery. I was clean! All the dirt, blood and sweat that stuck to me over the last couple of days was gone without a trace. Even my teeth felt like they were brushed! It's good to be a shapeshifter! I untied my bag and threw Freakhead out onto the grass. The head rolled away but transformed somewhere in the middle. The spider legs sprouted out of the neck, the maw blossomed with teeth, and the braid erected like a scorpion tail. The Chimera ran off into the forest. I pulled the shirt over my head, taking a quick glance at the characteristics.

The insane Summoner's Shirt

+17 to the level of summoned creatures.

All summoned creatures desire to kill you.

You now know the power that blood possesses. Crafting Ability unlocked: "Blood enchantment I." Now the blood applied to your weapons or clothes gives them new properties (depending on the level of enchantment, on the properties of the blood, and on the means of application).

Well, time to hit the road. But the idea of hitting it without a weapon didn't appeal to me that much. I went a little deeper into the woods in search of a tree that would make a nice club or a spear. Oaks, Oaks, poplar, acacia... What the hell is an acacia doing in the midlands?! My attempts to break off a perfect long branch ended with a system notification: genetically modified! The damn branch just wouldn't snap. At all. Nothing helped my claws, my bad language, hanging on it. Desperately I tried casting my "Submission" curse on the defiant tree. I was surprised that it worked, but commands like "Give me the branch," "Die" and "Fuck off" fell on deaf tree ears. Well, there was nothing left to do, except calling for the help of the otherworldly glitch. I didn't want to, honest. But the stupid tree really pissed me off.

"FreakHead!"

The decapitated head heeded my call, ran up to me and started rubbing against my leg very much like a cat. I grabbed him by the base of the ponytail and brought his face to the branch.

"Bite it off!"

The head started to growl and tried to stab me with the bolt in the braid, which I grabbed tightly with my left hand in advance.

"Go on! Who's supposed to be my faithful companion and devoted comrade? Who's got a maw full of big ass spare teeth!?"

There was a loud crunch, and the branch finally fell to my feet. I predicted the bitten area the placement of the jaws, so now I had a full-size spear but with a very dull point. I tossed the head aside and picked up my spear-to-be. Freakhead was resentfully spitting out bits of wood, trying to force them out of the spaces between teeth with his tongue!

"So! My dear Beaver-wannabe, the older brother of a blowtorch, why the long face? Wasn't that tasty? Well nobody said it was gonna be easy! Change form and then turn back again. That should help."

The Head followed my instructions, ran up to me, and scornfully spat at my feet. The grass went up in smoke and was immediately scorched, and the dead stain kept spreading till it reached a few feet in diameter.

"Cool! Can you do that again?"

FreakHead gave me a naughty look with a suspicious squint as if aiming right for my face

"No! No! NO! Spit at that tree right there!"

Again the hissing sound, the tree's bark starts to crack and melt away? And then the wood beneath it. In the end, it looked like a mouth twisted in pain.

"Nice! Well, Hit the road, amigo..."

So we started off along the edge of the forest, leaving the silhouette of the cursed castle behind us.