《A Nerd's Wet Dream Come True (Tossing an OC into Marvel) V2.》Chapter 21. Misassumptions and Logical Fallacies

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"... I'm sorry, what?"

There's no way. There was absolutely no way this man was serious. Nobody could actually be this dumb. Not even "flat-Earthers" as the movement was being called. Professor Walker was nothing if not a patient man, and so with a deep calming breath and a show outstanding amount of self-control, he did not push the button to send this bumbling buffoon in front of him into a trap door which led into a pitfall with a rather... Nasty surprise. The temptation was strong though and he was being greatly tested every second the idiot stood in front of him.

"I said-" Already having a headache from the barely 5 minutes he had to deal with the man, Walker quickly interrupted the other. Professional courtesy and politeness be damned, he was not risking a stroke at his young age.

"No, no, I assure you, I heard you perfectly clearly the first time. I'm just... Having trouble processing what you just said."

"Ah, yes. Quite understandably so, I suppose those of lesser intellect would have issues comprehending the words of one such as myself. Very well! I shall dumb it down for you, so to speak." The smug look and pretentious tone was the last straw as the man insulted Walker to his face. He snapped.

"I meant I couldn't believe the idiotic horseshit that just came out of your mouth, Dr. Burnham. I'm starting to think your Ph.D. was printed off the damn internet you stupid Quack!"

The man sputtered, whether in outrage or shock didn't matter to the Professor. He was not going to deal with any more of the man's terrible attitude nor stupidity. He held himself to as strict a standard as he expected from his subordinates. Incompetence was the worst crime in his eyes, even more so than the man's rotten behavior.

Having a combination of both? Well, that just wouldn't do, now would it?

"You have fiv- No, better make that three minutes, to hurry the fuck up and stop wasting my time before I fire you. On the spot."

Burnham's eyes widened in fear as he soon got rid of any pretenses and got straight to the point, especially so when he saw the Professor pull out his phone and set it on the table. A countdown was started. Walker was dead serious and he wanted to let the other man know. Honestly, he should've done this ages ago. It would've saved him quite a few brain cells.

"Th-The boy! Subject 001! He's wild, feral, almost nothing more than animalistic instincts- So, I believe he's trying to fulfill the basics functions and desires of life, specifically reproduction! Besides Kimura, whom he hasn't seen in months, X-23 was the only other female he has interacted with since we got him. She's the only one he has shown something besides outright hostility. In fact, before his capture, he seemed almost protective of her!"

Oh? How intriguing. Perhaps the man was onto something? The nervous man looked tentatively at him, but he merely tapped the side of his phone. The clock was still ticking.

Hmm, was it a touch too hot in here?

The other man certainly seemed to think so as he was sweating buckets while trying, and struggling, to gather his thoughts in a cohesive form. He decided to just rapid-fire his words and help for the best.

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"Carnal desires! I believe Subject 001 is functioning based on his- its needs for the basic carnal desires of food and sexual desires or reproduction. Lust. Sex, mate, call it whatever, but it's obvious- Er I mean it seems that X-23 has fallen into the second category of "Not Food" and the only thing left for a beast besides food and enemies are... Well. Yeah."

The phone rang just in time and the fat man gave a sigh of relief before tensing as he realized he wasn't out of woods just yet. He peeked towards his boss's face but Walk had the poker face of all poker faces. The Professor had to admit if only to himself that it was immensely satisfying walking the man squirm underneath his gaze. Soon he broke into a small as he gave a boisterous laugh.

"I see! How interesting, you might very well be onto something, Burnings!"

"Erm, actually, it's Burn-Ham, Sir. Doctor Burnham."

"I see, indeed you're right! My apologies. Would you mind stepping a bit to your right, Mr. Burnham? A bit more. Just another step. There we go! Much obliged, Mr. Burnham. Please do enjoy your trip."

"..? Trip?"

"Indeed, I've heard things get quite hot in hell this time of the year. Farewell Dr. Burnham. Your mother really should've named you better."

Walker didn't give the man any time to react as he pressed his favorite big shiny red button on his desk. It opened the previously mentioned trap door leading to a pitfall that connected with the incendiary room downstairs. He felt like an old school 60's James Bond villain but damned if it wasn't an absolutely glorious sensation at the moment.

Still, Walker thought more on the now deadman's idea and the more he thought about it, the more it sounded quite ingenious. If they couldn't forcefully acquire a sample than what if it was given willingly? And what would happen if you bred two of the world's most powerful predators? Would they give birth to an even bigger monster? Even if they didn't, the results were sure to be interesting.

Perhaps it was time to softly... Nudge the oh-so brilliant Director Rice into the direction that Walker wanted for once.

X-23 didn't understand why she was here. She never left her containment area unless it was for a mission or another training session. Feedings, rest, and excretory functions were all carried out there.

She was never informed of what was scheduled for her but she had been able to pick up the pattern regardless. Nobody ever spoke to her and she was devoided of human interaction, those were not only unnecessary but strictly discouraged and forbidden.

The only exception to the rule appeared to be Dr. Kinney, but even then she seemed cold and detached more often than not. It had seemed as if something had changed within the woman's eyes recently, but she had been removed from her "physician" quite some time ago. X-23 rarely felt things besides anger and fear, but she did have a vague inkling of curiosity towards one of the only people who has ever shone her "kindness" even if it was only to the extent of not making the procedures any more painful than strictly necessary.

Although... She thought she could recall faint memories of the woman reading to her.

Something about a wooden puppet?

Pinoak-Kio?

It had been her favorite she could tell that much, but the contents of the story itself were faded. The other person was Sensei, her martial arts teacher.

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A kind old man who seemed to carry a constant look of sorrow in his eyes whenever he saw her. She never did find out why he was sad before she had killed him when the Weapon X program decided he was the perfect test subject to try out their new Trigger Scent. It sent her into a mindless berserker rage that killed everything in her way. He was the second target after she had to kill the puppy she was given to raise for weeks as her first step in learning how to become a proper weapon.

Well, back then she wasn't quite as well trained as she was now. She couldn't do it and after a few hours of observing her and waiting, Dr. Kinney who was still in charge of her at the time had made her pick between doing it herself or having to watch it beaten and suffer a slow torturous death.

Her choice was obvious and it earned her a week's of reprieve from further abuse and punishment.

All it had cost was her first friend.

So she was quite understandably confused as to why they had told her she was going to be introduced to a new friend when she worked alone, yet she didn't question it. Tools didn't need to question their masters. She just hoped this new "friend" wasn't the type to die easily.

"Well, hello there, X-23, you're looking well!"

The one exception to the rule had walked by it seems. Kimura, her keeper. The woman never hesitated to interact with her unlike the rest of the Facility. Always all but too happy to mock and taunt her, or punishing her for all her numerous failures real or otherwise. It didn't matter if she succeeds or failed in her given objective, it was never enough. It would never be enough. It would never amount to anything and the woman didn't hesitate to hammer in the fact that she would never be anything.

She was a tool, a weapon, X-23. Nothing but one of many. Replaceable, irrelevant to the world, and as utterly blank and pointless as her life. Her only place was within the Facility or beneath Kimura's foot.

"I hope you're ready for your surprise!"

She wasn't. She had thought she had seen and experienced it all, but the woman's twisted mind was impossible to predict and so were her punishments. Surprises were never good nor fun, especially not in her occupation. Assassinations were precise and well-calculated things. Method of entry, target's profile, habits, routines, ensuring there were no witnesses and leaving no trace behind. Making it looked like an accident...

Epstein didn't kill himself after all.

"Say hello to your new roommate! Aww, don't you two just make the more adorable couple? Why don't you try kissing the frog, who knows maybe it'll turn into a prince and whisk you away~?"

X-23 didn't get what was so funny, nor why a frog would turn into a prince. Sure, she knew that Subject 001 would shapeshift, but was he also a prince? A kidnapped child of royalty somewhere that the Facility was experimenting on? Or was he going to transform to take on the appearance of a prince? If he could turn into other people than she could understand the "joy" in Kimura and the other scientists. It would be able to become the perfect assassin.

The door quickly sealed shut as she was left alone with Subject 001, her new cellmate whom she attempted to brutally murder just last week. Or was it two? Time was hard to keep track of around here and rarely held any meaning besides feeding times.

She stared at the black and yellow polka-dotted amphibian. It wasn't actually a frog, but a salamander. She didn't question her orders though and matched right up too it.

Yellow and green met as they stared at each other for a moment. She lifted it up in her palm and the creature seemed content to allow her to. She blinked first, before pressing her lips to the thing's own. Considering the size difference it was most likely that half of its face was pressed up against her mouth.

"..."

Nothing happened. No lights, no sudden shift, nothing at all besides a confused tilt of the head from the thing. Perhaps she needed to do it again to trigger the transformation?

After numerous attempts and an hour or trial and error X-23 decided to give up, already she could tell Kimura would be prepping her punishment with glee. Although it wasn't her fault, it didn't matter if she tried her best or not, the results were what mattered. She even stuck half the creature's entire head in her mouth at one point!

After that it turned into a chicken and wandered off somewhere else, it seems it was done humoring her failures.

Later on, when the confused girl returned from her session with the sadistic handler and attempted to get some sleep she would find an incredibly large dog had flopped itself right next to her on the floor. She had tensed up and was about to lash out with her claws when the thing gently picked her up and placed her onto its side.

Subject 001 then curled up into a ball and wrapped her inside its furred body. It was... Warm. Incredibly so, but not unpleasant. There was a faint fragrance of apples as was common to the thing and unlike a real dog, there was no strong musk or odor. She idly recalled reading it's profile and remembered that it didn't excrete either. Taking a moment to observe the thing she crawled out.

It didn't stop her.

She laid down back on the white tiled floor. It was cold, hard, and caused her arms and legs to numb as the additional weight from her Adamantine coated claws pressed heavily against it. Still, she was used too this. Weapons didn't need beds nor comfort. Doing what she was used too was good. It was safe. She was perfectly fine, this wouldn't affect her mission performance nor training at all despite the pain and discomfort.

Later on in the night, for the first time since she was a 3-year-old child being read the Art of War along with the secretly provided children's stories by Dr. Kinney, something which the trained killer could now barely remember, she sought out comfort through another being. She crawled back in and the dog merely allowed her, snuggling into the fur she let out a soft smile without being aware as she drifted off to sleep.

The nightmares didn't haunt her like they usually did.

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