I stopped at the entrance to my room, staring at the closed door of Eclis’ once again. A lot of things had been weighing on my mind since we had that horrible morning together, but I had thus far avoided seeing him. The days were marching by all to fast, my dresses were already made, and I’d memorized everyone I would meet as well as every event I’d expect to participate in while at the capital. Our palace was in a rush to prepare me for my trip and all it had been all I’d been able to think or talk about recently. The only thing I hadn’t faced was the awkwardness I’d left behind in that dining room.

“Would you like to visit the Duke?” Poor Maybella was stuck holding the door open for me while I zoned out staring at his room.

“I think I might.” She smiled which was an odd reaction, but I didn’t ask about it.

Maybella walked across the hall and opened the door for me. She gasped, before quickly bowing to Eclis. He was sitting in his parlor watching me enter unannounced into his room. He caught us both by surprise, it took me a moment to react. “Are you meeting someone today?” There would be no other reason for him to be sitting in his parlor wasting time like this. Eclis was a workaholic, through and through. I’d expected to find him in his study, instead of here. I entered his room and Eclis dismissed Maybella with a nod leaving us alone together.

“It’s been a while.” He looked like he was in a bad mood. His red eyes were hard and cold but nothing like our first day ‘practicing’. When he looked at me, they softened almost imperceptibly.

“Has it? It’s only been a couple days since we ate together.”

“Sit with me.” His voice was at odds with his appearance. It was soothing. Pleading. I didn’t realize I was standing awkwardly behind the couch. Stiffly, I sat. The furniture felt hard, like it was rarely used and brand new. Tea was already prepared and waiting for us on the table. It surprised me to see Eclis personally pour our cups.

“Who are you meeting with today? If this is a bad time? I can come back later.” He had to lean in to pour tea in my cup and his scent was mixing with the aroma. It was pleasantly intoxicating. He smelled spicy, musky, and earthy all at the same time. It reminded me of one of my favourite incense.

“It’s never a bad time. Jazz, come see me whenever you wish.” His eyes met with mine and some of that coldness had ebbed. “What have you gotten up to these past few weeks?”

“What do you mean?” Even the way this man sat spoke volumes to how confident he was. His attractiveness commanded the attention in the room, I was finding it hard to look away.

“A lot has happened for you since you’ve come here. It’s been quite a while since we just talked.” His eyes never left me. Not when he poured the tea, nor when he drank from his cup. My breathing became slow and steady. The longer I sat her the stronger his scent seemed to be.

“Yeah. It has I guess.” My head felt foggy and drinking the tea didn’t seem to help it either. Was I just really tired today? “Oh. Michael’s research has come to its conclusion. It seems an awakening is our best course of action, short of risking untested experiments.” I sighed, “But we won’t have enough time to do it.”

“I wouldn’t be in a rush to face an awakening if I were you. Not that I question your resolve, its just, I’ve done one before. It’s… Not something I’d do again.” His mood was changing. He was still on edge, but the coldness was no longer there.

“You’ve done one before? Can you do it more than once?”

He raised a brow, “Yes. I have. Why do you ask if you can do one more than once? Did Michael suggest something like that?“

“No… In the novel you choose to do it again, in order to have enough strength to fight off Tyrra’s invasion.” My face grew somber, “Duke, my actions have changed parts of this story already, but I’m afraid that we are still marching towards war, and I don’t have the power to stop that. You do. You really need to take my memories of how this novel unfolds.”

“Why don’t you call my by my first name?” He sounded so unconcerned with what I’d just said. Reflexively my eyebrows knit together.

“Did you not just hear what I said? I’m talking about war Duke. A civil war and an invasion.” He took a deep breath.

“Yes. I know. At this point it seems we’re walking into a powder keg.”

“Why don’t you want to know the novel. There’s a reason you’re not telling me. Seriously. People’s lives are on the line, your life is on the line but you’re refusing something that could help you. I don’t get it.” Anger was better than awkwardness. It also helped me cut through this fogginess I was feeling.

He stared at me for a long moment. Long enough for the edges of my vision to haze. What was going on with me? “Did your novel ever talk about the god of fate?” I tried my best to focus on the conversation.

“The god of fate?... They mentioned the gods in passing but no, I wouldn’t say it went into detail with her.” I searched my memories, but they were just as hazy as my vision. “Her… She was able to discern the future, but it was like a curse or something. Once it was foretold, it had to happen in that way.”

“Like it was carved in stone. Yes. That is why I don’t want to know about your novel.”

“I don’t understand. Do you think it has something to do with the god of fate? It was written in my world, not yours.”

“Perhaps.” He finally broke eye contact, looking instead at his tea. The haziness began to subside.

“Are you afraid that if you read it, it’ll set in stone that you’ll die?” I couldn’t see any other reason why he would be so reluctant to.

“No.” He swirled his tea before looking at me again. With a deep sigh he spoke. “I’ll take your memories on the novel, if you tell me why you refuse to use my name.” I couldn’t read him. Why was he fixating on that when I was talking about war?

“That’s an odd trade, but ok. I’ll bite.” If it meant he’d take this seriously, telling him wasn’t a problem. “I…” I wished I could lie right now. “I’m trying to keep my distance… Emotionally, you know.” I took a deep breath, trying to look at anything but him. “I don’t want to get attached to someone who’s destined to fall in love with someone else you know? Like. I’ll admit, you are my favourite character in this world, and I do really like you. Like, a lot. I just don’t want it to hurt too much when I leave.”

“Jazz, you don’t have to leave you know. You can stay.” The tone in his voice almost sounded like he was pleading.

“I can’t.”

“Who told you you cant?”

“No. What I mean is I can’t change my mind. If I don’t go home its my family who will hurt. I don’t want to make them cry.” My heart grew heavy thinking of my mother and sisters.

“But what do you want Jazz? Minus the consequences of your actions, if you could have anything, ask anything of the world what would you want?” Eclis’ eyes were no longer cold. Instead, they looked desperate. “Jazz. Here you will never die. You’re immortal, free to do as you please for as long as you want. You can have all the riches of this world, you can eat whatever you want, go wherever you want.”

“But I don’t need any of that. If I’m immortal, then I’ll just outlive those I love. What’s the point of having everything in the world if I don’t have people to share it with? I just want to be with my family.” I waited for him to respond but he didn’t. There was no desperation in his eyes, I must’ve mistook it for something else. They were just as cold as when I entered. “What do you want Duke? You never did tell me that day.” A sad smile appeared on his face.

“The same as you it would seem.”

“A family?” Vampires were sterile. The price of gaining immortality was losing the ability to create life. A family was the only thing they couldn’t have. He nodded. “Well… You could adopt?” He chuckled.

“Like the Emperor adopted me?” Right. Adoption in the vampire society was never done for selfless reasons, least of all to create a family.

“That’s not what I meant. Um. In my world there’s a saying. It’s short form is ‘blood is thicker than water’ but most people don’t realize its short for ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’ It means that the relationships you choose to form are stronger than those you are born with. You don’t need to have a blood relation to love someone, and you certainly don’t need it to call them your family.”

“Then will you be my family?” His question took me by surprise, but it made me smile.

“Sure.”

“You answered so easily.”

“So? Does it have to be hard? While I can’t promise I’ll be here forever, and I don’t think anyone reasonably can. I can promise that I’ll support you as much as I can while I am here.” I tried to give him a comforting smile.

“Then would you call me by my first name? Since we’re family.” His smile softened, it seemed more genuine. Internally I struggled to reconcile my want to make him happy with my need to protect myself.

“Not now. You have to earn it.” I winked, trying to ignore the fact that I was likely blushing again. “And also, I’m not feeling one hundred percent.”

“One hundred percent?”

“I mean, I feel really hazy and dazed. I’m having trouble focusing.”

“Ah.” He stood, walking around the coffee table separating us before sitting in the seat beside me. Way closer than I was comfortable with. “It seem’s I’m no longer at a point that I can contain my thirst. You’re being affected by my pheromones.”

“Hey, you’re the one denying yourself.” I held up my arm. “I’ve never said I wouldn’t oblige.” He draped his arm over my shoulders, pulling me even closer to him. My entire side was pressed against him and wherever we touched sent electrifying tinkles across my skin. His scent was heavy now that we were so close, and the warmth of his body made mine naturally relax. Reflexively, I breathed in deep. His nose brushed my neck sending a thrill through my body while his hair tickled my face as it cascaded down. Something deep inside me woke. This close his scent slowed my mind down and I found it impossible to think straight.

“I wonder. Why is it I can’t bite you here. I promise it won’t hurt.” His breath against my skin sent a shockwave down my spine and I felt goose bumps spread deliciously down.

My answer came out in panted breath. “I’m well aware. I just-“ He trailed his nose up my neck stopping just under my ear. As it traced the vein, I couldn’t help but suck in air and tense. Finally, my hand listened, pushing against his shoulder. “Correct me if I’m wrong but in the novel if you bit the neck, it meant you. Um. You know.” I bit my lip, my mouth suddenly dry. He kissed my neck so softly I almost mistook it for his breath. When he spoke, his lips tickled my skin sending shivers down my spine. “It means I want to mate? Yes. That fact is true.”

A war was going on inside me. One I couldn’t afford to lose, even if I really, really, wanted to. “No.” We stayed frozen in this moment that seemed to extend for an eternity. He didn’t push any closer, and I couldn’t bring myself to move. Then, slowly, he pulled away. His eyes were still burning, but he let go of me, allowing me to slide myself away so we weren’t pressed against each other.

“Jazz. I will always respect your wishes if you refuse my advances, but I want you to know that I don’t want you to leave, and I don’t plan on simply letting you go without a fight. I need you to understand that.” My head was swimming, and I could muster no more than a nod. Gently, he took my hand from my lap. I let him pull me closer. He closed the distance I created, his leg touching mine again. He grabbed the lace of my sleeve with his teeth, his eyes flashing when they met mine. Slowly he pulled it up scattering kisses along the way. This was supposed to be the ‘safe’ place to bite, yet he made it as erotic as if it were my neck. Time slowed, and when he finally sank his teeth in it was a release, we both welcomed. I got lost in the moment.

That feeling of euphoria spread throughout my body again and I remembered something distantly. Vampires were addictive. Highly addictive. When he finished drinking, he licked the crook of my inner elbow before planting a gentle kiss there. My heart was thundering in my chest and there was a storm within me raging to be released. He could probably see it in my eyes. He didn’t try to release it though, instead he relaxed against the back of the couch closing his eyes.

His hand still held mine and I felt compelled to touch it. In our world’s version of vampires, they were always depicted as physically cold, but he radiated heat. His fingernails were neat and showed no signs that they could turn into claws. His hand felt soft, and it was hard to imagine that his grip could crush any bone in my body easily. I turned it over, tracing the skin. For once, I had a chance to actually appreciate Eclis’ body while no one was watching. He looked exactly how the author had depicted him, though my imagination could never have done him the justice he deserved. His eye lashes were long, his lips were full and unlike the gaunt pale complexions vampires classically had, he looked every bit alive. He wore a well fitted shirt that hinted at the muscles underneath. The top of it had been unbuttoned at some point and a sliver of his chest peeked through. When I looked back up at him, I froze. His eyes were half open, watching me sleepily, a coy smile on his face.

“Shall we?”